A/N: Thank you all for your comments, you are awesome! Also especial thanks to the amazing Anbessette who helped me with the beta and keeps enduring my craziness.
Chapter 1B: Ad astra per aspera
The ride from the Transporter room to the Conference room was in absolute silence. Sitting in front of Giotto, Spock expected for the Lieutenant to start speaking. Seeing that it would not happen, Spock realized that not every member of the crew was as easy going as Kirk.
"What happened, Lieutenant?" Spock started questioning.
"Well, sir… we landed on the planet, and there was a group of natives expecting us. The Commander made the introductions, but Edwards noticed that they were carrying weapons, and the one who looked like the leader got angry. He was expecting you, sir. He said that the Federation promised that the Captain of the Enterprise was making the negotiations."
"I see. It was a trap, then?" If Kirk was right, he was going to be insufferable.
"We don't know what they wanted, sir. Kirk… I mean, Commander Kirk said that he was capable of managing the negotiations, and that he had the authority too, but then one of them shot Edwards. They had weapons and they somehow blocked out the transmitter's signal. Fortunately Commander Kirk made Edwards duck; we didn't have time to get our phasers out when we were outnumbered."
"Did Mister Kirk not indicate you that it was a hostile mission?"
"Yes, sir."
"And did he not say that you needed to be aware and defensive in every moment?"
"Yes, sir, but we –"
"Then I am afraid we are misunderstanding each other, Lieutenant; if you were aware of the situation, how is it that the natives found the opportunity to even shoot at one of the security members, let alone hurt Commander Kirk?"
"Well, the Commander wasn't exactly hurt in that moment sir. Mister Kirk indicated it was best to let things settle, and see what they wanted. They took us to a building, but we were surrounded by a bunch of natives, and we didn't see much. They were talking in their language, and since they took our translators and communications devices, we really didn't understand anything. Well, except Kirk. He kind of understood a few words."
"Commander Kirk," reprimanded Spock.
"Right, Commander Kirk. We were put in some sort of room, and when they left, Commander Kirk told us they were planning on trading us for the Enterprise with you, but they didn't know how to operate the communicator. Apparently they didn't expect our technology to be this advanced, when they managed to block out our signal."
Repressing a shudder, Spock wondered why someone on that planet would have some sort of grudge against him. It was like Nero all over again.
"Continue," ordered Spock, trying to remain calm.
"Kirk gave us orders. As soon as our captors entered the room, we were going to take them by surprise. I thought they were really stupid, since they didn't even handcuff us or immobilize us, but Kirk said it was because given that we didn't put any resistance, they thought we were weak without the weapons. They underestimated us."
Spock recalled an earlier conversation with Kirk during one of their dinners, forgetting to scold Giotto for not calling Kirk by his title. Kirk was talking about the new experiments in the warp factor, and Spock expressed his interest in knowing how much information Kirk possessed on the subject. Kirk said that one of the basic things in the command is to pretend to be dumb, and just let people believe what they want.
Now Spock understood the real value of the premise.
"Kirk then said that as soon as we took the phasers and communicators, we should escape and make contact with the Enterprise, beam back to the ship and inform you of the situation. Apparently the device that blocked the Enterprise's signal was in the building and if we got at least 50 meters from the building, we could make contact with the ship again."
"I am assuming that when Commander Kirk said 'you', he did not include himself in the action."
"That's right, sir. When I asked him about it, he said he needed to do something first, and that we should tell you to give him one hour staying in the planet's orbit. If he didn't report back in that time, you should go away and tell the Admirals about the slavery and how they wanted to ambush you."
"The slavery?" Spock did not remember Giotto mentioning something like that.
"Oh, right, sorry, sir. Kirk explained about how they wanted telepathic species, and they knew you were a Vulcan. I think they wanted to capture you and sell you, I don't know how; you are the Captain of the Enterprise; it was an idiotic plan."
"We can conclude they are not intelligent, Mister Giotto." The Lieutenant's briefing made less sense to Spock when he continued speaking.
"Kirk knows more about the slave thing, sir; he just told me basic stuff in case he didn't return to the ship. We disarmed a few natives, and Kirk went to the opposite side of where we were."
Giotto said that Kirk ordered them to beam back. But the first contact with the ship was from the same Kirk. That means that Giotto disobeyed orders.
"Why did you not make contact with the ship?"
"When Kirk got away, all he natives in the building went after him; they didn't even pay any attention to us. He needed help."
"You disobeyed a commanding officer's order?"
"Yes, sir. I'll take the heat for it."
"I beg your pardon?"
"He means he will take the blame and the punishment you see fit for it," interrupted someone's voice.
Turning around, Spock saw Commander Kirk in a fresh uniform, with a bandage on his right wrist.
"You took too long, and when Scotty told me you brought Giotto here, I had to make sure you didn't tear him a new asshole."
"I am not capable of –"
"I'm joking, Captain. I can continue with the briefing, if you don't object."
Spock considered it best to obtain the full information from Kirk. He nodded his dismissal at Giotto, who looked almost fearful of the Captain's reaction. Maybe Kirk's joke was something to reflect on, even though it was truly crude.
Standing up, Spock glanced at Kirk, who sat down at the same time.
"We agreed to talk in my quarters."
"Oh, right. I though since we were here… but, all right, probably you want privacy for my punishment too. I hope it'll be kinkier than the one offered to Giotto." Kirk actually winked at Spock, who only blinked. "Come on Spock, relax, I told you I flirt as a way to connect. Although I can see my efforts are wasted on a Vulcan."
Without bothering with an answer to the remark, Spock headed to his quarters, followed by Kirk.
"You're awfully quiet, Spock. That means I'm in deep shit, right?"
"My silence is not in any way related to the fact that you are covered in –"
"Yeah, I get it. Jeez, and I thought Bones was the worst part of this mission."
Spock did not have any comment on the matter. For some reason Kirk felt that whenever he did not do something by the book, Spock was going to castrate him, punch him or transfer him. He even guessed rather colorfully what Spock thought of him, without having any solid evidence. Spock knew Kirk was insecure about his performance, but was mostly afraid of doing something to break the strange balance they had reached since they embarked on the mission.
Spock could understand those feelings, since he had a human mother. Humans need reassurance, and the Admiralty took that when they give Spock the ship, even when Kirk was the one making the right choices. For Spock it was completely irrational that the decision was reached just because a few Admirals have some sort of differences with Kirk. That was the problem when you worked with humans. They always let their emotions decide, and do not admit when they are wrong. Behind all his cockiness, Kirk needed approval.
But he was also brilliant, and Spock did not use that adjective too often. He was efficient, and brought stability to Spock's command. He would be a great Captain someday. Spock was cautious when they started the mission. He listened to his counterpart and did what he thought right at the time. But his counterpart was explicit when he said that Kirk was the Captain and Spock was the First Officer. Spock wondered: Could they have the friendship that would define them both if the roles were reversed?
Glancing at Kirk, who was standing next to him waiting for Spock to open the door, Spock concluded that every experiment has different results, and this one was inconclusive as of yet.
"Man, it's hot in here. I know you're Vulcan, but that can't be healthy."
"My body temperature is lower than yours. This temperature is perfectly regulated for my comfort. I can modify it if you require."
"Nah, that's okay, it's like being in a sauna with clothes."
"Please, sit down." Spock pointed at his desk without understanding whether 'being in a sauna with clothes' was something good.
"That's a good sign. If you wanted to castrate me, you'd need me standing up."
"As I have told you the last four times, I do not have any intentions of using corporal punishment." Yet.
"Too bad." Spock could see Kirk getting that obnoxious smile that had no effect on the Vulcan whatsoever.
"Commander, if we may proceed?"
"Right, business first, pleasure later. Giotto told you about the natives getting wild?"
"He informed me that they captured you and you decided to go fetch something, which I am assuming was the toddler in Sickbay."
"Wow, talk about getting to the point. Long story short: We beamed down, they were expecting you, they got pissed because I told them that I was the one in charge, and then I heard them talking about how they needed you for a transaction and if they didn't get you, they couldn't trade the baby, I located the baby, I rescued the baby, we beamed back."
"I would like to hear the long version, Commander."
"Fine," Kirk sighed, looking oddly resigned, "they were planning on taking the lading party hostage, but expected you to be in it. They have some sort of hypospray, I'm sure it was an inhibitor. They were as strong as you are, if the punch to my face told you nothing when we beamed back. That's why when they took our phasers they thought we were surrendering. I heard them talking, but I only understood small bits. What I concluded is that they kidnapped the girl, but she's important or something, so they needed some sort of backup plan. They thought that if they captured you, the Federation was going to give in their demands, because you're the Captain of the Enterprise. And you're Vulcan. They also expected you to help them with the baby. Bones said she's Betazoid, and you know that they can die when the emotions surrounding them are mostly negative –"
Now everything made more sense than when Lieutenant Giotto gave his information. Apparently Kirk didn't want to share too much knowledge with the team, since it was a delicate subject and potentially risked breaking relations between Betazoid and the Federation.
" – so I told the team how get use to our advantage and escape, but of course they wanted to tag along because where's the fun in just beaming back and being torn down by you?" Spock realized Kirk had stopped talking.
"How did you know where to find the baby?"
"They were stupid and kept talking because they didn't think we could understand them. Fortunately the girl is okay; Bones said she needs to be monitored for the night. Look, I know I made a hasty decision, but I couldn't leave her down there. She could've died."
"I do not question the morality of your decision. It was the best course of action with the available information. I shall inform the Admiralty about the failed mission."
"We rescued a baby. I hardly call that a failure. And nobody died; I call that a win-win situation." Kirk stood up. "I'll be in Sickbay, then."
"I was expecting you to witness the briefing," Spock suggested before making it an order. Kirk was the officer in command on the planet. He had to explain everything to the Admiralty.
"Why? I already told you everything. You're more diplomatic than I am."
"You were in charge on the planet. They need your input."
"I assure you, Komack doesn't want my input."
"Commander Kirk –"
"I'm not winning this one, right?"
"I believe you are correct." Finally they understood each other.
As soon as Spock ordered an open channel to the Admiralty, Kirk was glaring at the screen, looking almost dangerous. Spock started explaining the details from the landing party and then cued for Kirk to detail everything, warning him with an eyebrow to behave.
Apparently Kirk either didn't understand that or decided to just ignore Spock, because as he was talking, Spock noted the Commander's impolite tone of voice.
For some reason, the Admiralty was almost pleased with the result, and asked to speak with Spock privately. Since it was a clear dismissal, Kirk turned to the door, inclining his head slightly as a sign of politeness.
Spock was almost certain the Admiralty knew more about the mission than they let on, and as they explained the real purpose of the contact between Tersu and the Federation he could not help but remember a colloquial phrase that Kirk was very fond of using: Bullshit.
As soon as Jim stepped out of Spock's room, he bolted to Sickbay. Bones had explained him that the girl was really attached to him, and he somehow calmed her. He must have had some sort of gift, since Sam's son was the same. He only stopped crying when Jim held him.
When Jim entered the medical bay, he could see Bones near an incubator, reading a PADD.
"How's the girl?"
"Ah, so Spock let you live," McCoy mocked him.
"I'm far too valuable for him to kill me."
Bones rolled his eyes, approaching Jim.
"She's fine. M'Benga said you rescued her just in time. Congratulations, you're a hero once again. Now fuck off, I have things to do."
"Language, Bones, she's a baby."
"She's sleeping, and I recommend that you don't get too attached to her. She's not a pet, you can't keep her."
"I know that." Jim looked almost offended. "I'm just worried."
"Since she's Betazoid, she probably created a mental link to you, being the first person she encountered with actual good feelings. Or something like that. M'Benga thinks it's beneficial for the child, but I'm not sure if you'll be able to let her go if you get too close. I know you."
"Come on Bones, I'm not stupid. A starship is hardly a good place for a baby. And maybe she has parents, or a family. She's not mine, I got it."
"As long as you really got it." Bones looked at Jim suspiciously. "Although the girl really likes you. Maybe you could visit her and –"
Before McCoy finished his sentence, a loud cry invaded the room. Jim almost ran to the incubator and the girl looked up expectantly.
"She has dark eyes," Jim admired. "I really didn't notice it before."
The girl extended her little hands, reaching out for Jim, who didn't need another sign and took her in his arms.
"What did I just tell you?" McCoy looked grave.
"Come on Bones, she just likes me. I see no harm in letting me take care of her. Sickbay is no place for a baby, and I watched my nephew a few times. I know babies."
"I have a daughter. I'm more qualified to watch her," refuted Bones.
"Yeah, but the baby doesn't like you. When I'm on shift, I'll bring her here, all right?"
"She needs to feel safe." A blonde nurse stood behind McCoy. "Doctor M'Benga said that, and the Commander seems fit for the task."
"Thank you nurse Chapel, your input is always appreciated," McCoy scowled.
"You're welcome, doctor."
Deciding it was best to just leave them be, Jim headed out from Sickbay thinking about the things he would need to make the baby comfortable. He hadn't been this worked up since the birth of his nephew.
As Jim reached the turbolift, he noticed Spock heading out, and when he saw Jim entering, he returned too.
"I was looking for you, Commander. We need to make contact with the Betazoid embassy."
"All right, I'll leave the girl with –"
"Actually, we need the infant too. Apparently the baby's mother was abducted from a public transportation when she was heading to her home planet. The father was killed during the abduction and the mother died in childbirth. The only reason Tersu made contact was because they wanted to exchange the infant in a trade with Betazoid. Having the Captain of the Enterprise as a negotiator would have guaranteed getting what they expected. Tersu has been hostile to Betazoid for years. They have been planning these events for a significant amount of time, even expecting the conception of one heir of the highest families."
"What did they want from the trade?"
"They appear to be in disagreement with the Klingons. They needed empaths for counterattack. At least that is what the Betazoid embassy assumes. As you could see, the natives on Tersu were reserved. It is fortunate that we rescued the baby without even knowing the ultimate task at hand on our mission."
"So, the girl is a big deal on Betazoid, then? Is she like a princess or something?"
"You could say the comparison is apt. She is important to Betazoid."
Jim involuntarily held the girl closer and she only stared at him with curiosity.
"The Admiralty knew about her, right? They knew about the kidnapping and they sent us without even telling us what we needed to do."
"They thought it was best for us to just make contact and see how things evolved from there. It would have been precarious if we let the natives know we were there for a rescue mission more than a negotiation."
Assholes, thought Kirk, watching the baby smiling at him.
"What if you beamed down? They could have killed you!" Jim was not sure why he was getting angry. It's not like Spock was his friend. Maybe it was the principle. They had no right to just send them without even knowing how dangerously things could have turned out.
"I believe the Admirals were counting on your constant desire to stick to protocol on the landing parties," Spock said matter-of-factly.
"Is that sarcasm? You do that on purpose! You know nobody will believe me if I tell them you're witty."
"The infant seems to have bonded with you." Spock changed the subject, but Jim knew he was confirming his point indirectly.
"Yeah. Bones said she formed an empathic bond with me because I was the first person who made her feel safe. But I know we have to get her back home."
Spock remained silent during the ride to their quarters. The Betazoid ambassador was almost shining with happiness after he saw the girl, and Spock gave orders to change course to Betazoid immediately. They'd have the baby for three weeks, even at warp 5 (which was the maximum speed Spock allowed when they were not in a life threatening situation).
Jim found his routine changed for the better. The girl was energetic, and Jim talked to her easily (of course that must be because she really didn't understand much). When he dropped her in Sickbay before his shift, she cried, but after two days she started to get accustomed to Bones, and she even let him hold her a few times. The entire crew was awesome in their own particular way. Scotty built her a crib and tons of weird toys (that Spock confiscated as he considered them 'unsafe' for the girl). Sulu and Chekov babysat her and told her stories. Uhura spoke to her in several languages and even the security department stopped by every chance they got to see her.
She could be a Kirk. She certainly had the charm.
Spock started showing up in Jim's room every night before the girl was put down to sleep. Bones and M'Benga gave their opinion (more like an order) about how the girl spending time with a touch telepath was beneficial for her in her empathic development. Spock argued a few times, but eventually caved when the girl reached out to touch his ears (it was all Jim's doing. He stood too close to the Vulcan so the girl, with her natural curiosity, tried to touch them) and she giggled. Bones was stunned and Spock went rigid. Still, he made a new routine, spending most of the night with Jim when the girl was restless and just didn't want to sleep. They talked a lot about the ship, and sometimes about family. One night they didn't even notice the girl asleep in Jim's arms until the clock marked three in the morning.
Jim assumed it was easier for them to just talk when the girl forced them to keep their emotions in check.
Spock was meditating, when he heard a low whimper. Blinking, he noticed how the whimpers became louder, and he knew the girl was upset about something. He stood up, knowing it was too late for her to even be awake, and took his communicator out to ask the Commander what was happening in his room.
"Kirk here." Spock bent his eyebrow at noticing how drained Kirk sounded.
"Spock here. Is something wrong, Commander?"
"Spock, you couldn't knock on my door and see what the problem is?" Now Kirk was back to rudeness in less than five point three seconds.
"I did not want to intrude." Spock found it unreasonable to have to explain his reasoning. When did common courtesy become questionable?
"Actually, I was about to call you. I don't know what happened, Amanda just started crying."
Spock did not know what disturbed him the most: Kirk naming the baby or Kirk naming the baby after his mother. Walking to the bathroom, he decided it was best to confront the problem once and for all.
"I am coming to your quarters through our communal bathroom. Spock out."
Spock was about to reach the doorknob when the blond opened it. Spock saw the child crying lowly, not like the time in the Transporter room. In a sudden motion, Kirk got closer and put the child in Spock's arms before the Vulcan could even object.
"What do you feel? Is she sick? Do your magic and tell me!"
Spock was about to explain that he did not in fact make 'magic' and that touch telepathy was just an evolutionary feature, but then he sensed the girl's distress and kept quiet, closing his eyes. She was sad, suffering because Kirk was sad too. Like in every connection, she could feel what Kirk projected emotionally, and he was in torment. Spock sent all his comfort and calm to the baby giving security. Two minutes and forty seconds later, the girl finally stopped crying. When Spock opened his eyes, he looked down and noticed the baby just staring at him, expecting him to do something about Kirk's distress.
"Well?" Kirk was still standing too close to them, looking wary.
"She is well."
"I can see that. She's looking at you rather intensely. You two gossiped about me in your head or what?"
"That would be illogical; the girl does not understand our language yet."
"Amanda's smart, she understands everything."
"That is because she is an empath. Why are you persisting in calling her Amanda? We do not know her real name."
"You said they kidnapped the mother, so she doesn't have a name. She needed one. But let me tell you, she is picky. I told her she required a name, and started giving her options. Of course when I said my mother's name she only frowned in her particular way. There's only one Winona Kirk in the world, I guess. Then I said the name of every girl I remember dating, and then classmates from the Academy. It was when I blabbed about calling her 'Spockina' in your honor -" Spock opened his mouth to state that he did not need any kind of repayment to his honor when Kirk just continued talking "Yeah, she didn't like it either, but since that got her attention, I said your girlfriend's name and then your mom's name. When she heard 'Amanda' she actually smiled Spock, with giggles and everything. She approved. I approve. Do you approve?"
Spock was at loss for words. Kirk must have thought he made some sort of sense, but for the Vulcan he had just talked three minutes and twenty seconds without giving a good reason to name her, least of all after his mother. Sensing a hint of enjoyment, Spock looked down at the girl in his arms. She clearly approved of the name, as Kirk had stated.
"Then Amanda Kirk it is." Evidently Kirk interpreted Spock's silence as approval.
"The girl does not need your family name. She has a family of her own."
"Yeah, in three weeks she'll get another one. But until then, Amanda Kirk it is. Come on Spock, it gives her a feeling of belonging. Can you imagine how hard it was for her to be separated from her mother at birth and then being around a bunch of nasty people? This actually helps her with her empathy thing."
Spock knew it was illogical to feel uncomfortable with the fact that Kirk named the girl after his mother. After all, it was just a name, and the girl reacted rather gleefully when Kirk called her that. It would be detrimental to forbid something that was evidently beneficial for her, even though Spock sensed something twitching in his mind when he heard his mother's name with the Commander's family name. Furthermore, knowing Kirk, he would not care about Spock's objections at all and would call her that incessantly just to bother him. Spock made up his mind to never give Kirk any more encouragement to be additionally insufferable when he was already bad enough on his own.
The girl was obviously connecting with Kirk. However, in the back of his mind, Spock could feel the girl connecting with him too. It was slightly disconcerting to have someone tugging on his mind gently, and yet it felt right. It gave some odd sensation of familiarity.
"You're a natural," observed Kirk with a smile. "You look good with a baby in your arms."
"I do not see how having an infant in my arms improves my aesthetic appearance."
"Yeah, you wouldn't see it. Put her in the crib, I doubt she'll cry again. We already took so much of your free time this evening."
"I would be amenable to conversation if you are not tired. The girl –"
"Amanda" interrupted Kirk.
"– the girl often falls sleep faster when we interact around her."
"Are you saying we have boring conversations?" Spock could hear the amusement in Kirk's voice. "All right, let's chat. Come, sit down."
Carefully, Spock put the girl down in the crib next to Kirk's bed. He immediately noticed a feeling of absence, even though he still felt the girl in his mind. Not giving it a second thought, Spock sat in front of Kirk, who already had a cup of tea in front of him.
"Did you see how Bones was glaring at me in the mess? I think he's jealous of Amanda." Kirk started chatting as he was used to doing when they were alone.
"I do not believe the doctor has negative feelings towards the girl." Spock tried very hard not to twitch when he heard Kirk calling the girl 'Amanda'. "Did the child wake you with her distress?"
"Uh? Oh, yeah. I heard her crying, and when I lifted her she was almost screaming. I don't know why."
"May I ask if you were having unpleasant dreams?" Spock knew humans dreamed and, according to Nyota, they were not always nice images.
"Nightmares? Mmm… I think I was having one, yes. Why? Is that what caused Amanda to cry?"
"It is likely, the girl is an empath. She felt your anguish and wanted you to stop the reaction."
"Oh God. Am I hurting her? Is she better with you? I never wanted to –"
"Commander, it was an isolated incident. Since it was the first time the girl cried, I assume it was also the first time you had an unpleasant dream around her. It would be radical to leave her to the care of someone else when she is already accustomed to your living habits." Even when Spock thinks they are irrational and somewhat unhygienic as he sees an undershirt laying on the floor.
"But I don't know when I'm going to have nightmares. It could be any day. I don't want to upset her."
"I believe the girl will demand you to stop in a similar method as she did tonight. You just need to calm down next time before you hold her."
It was a strange event to see Kirk panicking like he did now. He was usually controlled, even when he did not feel that way. Spock admired that in the human. In the short amount of time he had known Kirk, he could describe him as 'passionate' and 'overemotional'. The fact he could control his overbearing emotions when he was required to was noteworthy given that even Nyota has that difficulty on occasion. The only emotion Kirk still had problems controlling was irritation. He always turned a fascinating shade of red and started yelling. Spock let him until the decibel level rose too loud and hurt his sensitive ears. However, Kirk composed himself as quickly as he got angry. For Spock it had been appalling and interesting to witness that side of the Commander.
Kirk then did something totally out of character. He talked about the unpleasant dreams. Spock would have assumed that since it was a sign of vulnerability, Kirk would be as evasive as possible about the subject. He surprised Spock once more when he shared how he felt seeing the images in his dream, and he asked Spock if he dreamed. He did not, and listening as how Kirk described some dreams, he was grateful for his Vulcan heritage. It must be upsetting visualize things that were not under your own control. Kirk said he had bad dreams once in a while because of a traumatic event he suffered as a child, and left it without further explanation.
Spock could not help but wonder what event could be traumatic enough to make Kirk look deeply uncomfortable when he brought it up to explain the nightmares. It bothered Spock that Kirk suffered something so dreadful that his blue eyes went shady and his smile was gone. The worst part was that Spock did not understand why it troubled him so much. Kirk was not a deep friend but merely an acquaintance.
Nevertheless it was something in which he was willing to help Kirk if the nightmares persisted. Even if they were not friends, Spock was the Captain, and the welfare of the crew was his responsibility.
Jim knew a rumor had started on the ship about how he and Spock were planning on adopting Amanda and being a happy family aboard the Enterprise. He also knew that Bones was behind it. At least Uhura took it with sense of humor, and only smiled uncomfortably when she heard it.
Still, it's weird when you walk in the hallways and people keep smirking at you and whispering about how all they needed was a baby to complete the bond. As if Jim had a relationship with Spock before. He only tolerated him, and Jim honestly couldn't tell why the Yeomen assumed they were having a romance before the incident with Amanda. In moments like this Jim wished for Spock to come out of the relationship closet and announce that he was happily involved with Uhura, meaning Kirk was single and looking. Jim wanted to end the gossip, but Spock didn't look upset or annoyed. Jim wasn't sure if he had already heard the rumor, but if he didn't do anything, why did Jim have to chastise the crew for the small amount of fun that they were having?
That didn't mean Jim was going to leave McCoy alone. He had to pay for starting this mess. After the shift ended, Jim left Amanda with Sulu and headed directly to Sickbay.
Bones was in his office, with a bunch of PADDS.
"Bones!" Jim said enthusiastically, forgetting that he was supposed to be angry with his friend.
"Hey Jim. Where's the hubby?" Bones smirked.
"Really funny. All the ship is gossiping, you know?"
"Come on, you and Spock have been joined at the hip lately. Rand said you two looked adorable walking through the hallways with the girl."
"Amanda."
"Amanda what?"
"Is her name. Amanda."
"You named her? Jim! I told you not to get attached! She is going home, and you'll get your heart broken for the first time if you're not careful."
"I can't help it Bones. I feel really connected to her. Spock says it's because she's Betazoid, and I was the first person who gave her the feeling of protection. And the way I see things, she's going to be the closest thing I'll ever have to a daughter."
"I can't argue with that. Still Jim, she is not yours; you better keep your distance."
"It's too late for the lecture, but I'll be fine. I've survived worse things."
"I can't believe you named her after your mother-in-law." McCoy changed the subject, knowing how Jim needed it.
"Knock it off. You're lucky Spock doesn't seem to have heard the gossip yet. And for your information, she chose that name."
"Yeah, sure thing, she chose it. You know we're going to reach Betazoid in two days, right?"
Jim felt how his throat tightened. He didn't want to think about how in two days he would lose the nicest thing that happened to him in the Enterprise so far. The girl helped the crew bonding, it's for sure that he is not the only one who will miss her. But he will miss her the most.
"Oh my god, stop being such a girl!" Bones looked mortified.
"I am not! You're going to miss her too!" Jim defended himself heatedly.
"Yeah, but I'm not going to cry about it. Better make sure the hubby's nice to you when you leave her on Betazoid. He must take care of his upset wife and wipe away your tears."
"I'd like to see you saying this in front of Spock," challenged Jim.
"He'd just be nagging about how my statement is illogical since you are not married to him and you are not female. Therefore he has no obligation to wipe your tears, and your conduct is improper for a Commanding Officer."
"Hell, it's almost like hearing Spock in person! You are being influenced by our dear Captain too, Bones, and not in a good way. Did you spend the night thinking up adjectives or something?" Jim looked agape at McCoy.
"No need. I have a file with everything I need right here." McCoy held out one of the PADDS. "I'm not letting the hobgoblin toss all those fancy words around without giving him a few of my own too."
"We could teach him how to curse," suggested Jim, knowing how hilarious it would be if Spock tried to learn how to say 'shit' without bringing up physiology.
"Save the dirty talk for the bedroom, Jim," sneered Bones "although I don't think your hubby will approve of that filthy mouth."
"I'm leaving!" Jim stood up angrily.
"Good. Don't get more attached to the baby. I don't want you moping in the hallways when she's gone."
Jim knew Bones was right. The girl had a family, and she needed to be in her home. That didn't mean he wouldn't miss her. She made everything easier: talking to Uhura, agreeing with Bones, bonding with Spock. Jim didn't want to go back to Uhura barely tolerating him, Bones always getting on his nerves, and Spock being all professional. He wanted things to stay the same even without the girl.
But of course that was delusional. They only acted that way because the girl forced them to.
When Jim sees Spock standing outside his room with Amanda in his arms, Jim couldn't help the big smile in his face. He was going to take advantage of the situation for as long as he could.
"Captain, is something wrong?"
"Lieutenant Sulu informed me he had to go to the botany lab, and solicited me to bring the girl to you. He told me to notify you that he already fed her for the night. He also winked at me; I do not know if that was part of the message."
Jim laughed lightly. Good thing Spock apparently didn't know about the rumors, or the wink thing would have made more sense.
"All right, thanks Captain. I bet Sulu was afraid of asking you to bring her."
"I would classify the Lieutenant's behavior as apprehensive at first. I do not understand the reason, since he is a proficient member in the crew."
"They respect you too much." Jim opened the door "Do you want to come in? I'm going to teach Amanda how to play chess."
"She cannot hold a chess piece, let alone understand the rules."
"Well, you can witness how Amanda defies your logic."
Taking the girl from Spock's arms, Jim entered his room, sensing how Spock was walking closer to him. Jim sure would miss this.
After Jim explained the rules of chess to the baby, who only watched him with boring contemplation, he put a piece in one of her small hands. Automatically the girl put it in her mouth, giggling.
"I don't think she got it right," Jim smiled tenderly.
"I did not know you played chess."
"Is it so surprising? I'm not stupid, you know?" Jim knew Spock was a logical guy, and that he only saw the rebellious and insubordinate side of Jim, but he expected that by now Spock at least would not underestimate him.
"You have proven to me on several occasions that you are, in fact, intelligent. I just have not seen you playing in our spare time."
"Oh, I don't have anyone to play with. The computer is boring when you figure out its pattern." Jim took the piece from Amanda's hand. "All right, that's enough chess for you."
"We are going to reach Betazoid in thirty six point four hours, Commander." Spock looked blankly at the girl.
"I know. Bones already told me that I need to get my act together when we drop her. I'll just miss her."
"She seemed to have had a positive effect on the crew. I am sure they all will be feeling her absence."
"Can we keep her? She's just so adorable."
"She is not a pet, Commander." Spock bent a disapproving eyebrow at Jim.
"Bones told me that too. You two are getting too alike for my taste," teased Jim.
"There is no need for insults, Commander," said Spock in his best neutral tone, but Jim knew better. "You did a good job taking care of her. Now it is her family's responsibility."
"You can call me Jim," the blond suddenly blurted out.
"Excuse me?"
"You've been helping with Amanda, and even when I changed her diapers you called me 'Commander'. I prefer being called Jim when I'm off duty. After all, I call you Spock."
"Because you cannot pronounce my family name."
"I could if I tried. And I would still call you Spock. It won't kill you to use my first name."
"Your first name is James." Apparently Spock will let go the lecture about how in fact it is impossible to relate his mortality to using Jim's first name.
"Come on, Spock! You said you wanted to be more familiar with human customs, this is one of them." Jim looked imploring.
Before Spock could comment, his communicator buzzed.
"Spock here."
"Captain, I have an incoming transmission from Betazoid requesting you."
"Patch it to my quarters, Lieutenant."
"Yes, sir."
Jim nodded to Spock as a goodbye, watching him disappear through their joined bathroom. At least he used that more often. Jim stared at the baby, sighing. He would have to say goodbye for good soon.
Two days later, the landing party was ready to beam down to Betazoid. It consisted only of Spock and Jim, who was carrying the baby. They didn't need security, since Betazoid was a Federation planet, and they were just delivering the girl. Spock was patiently waiting as the crew said their farewells to the baby.
"Ad astra per aspera." Uhura touched Amanda's cheek gently.
"You better stay healthy and eat right," McCoy smiled, looking down at the girl and patting Jim's arm.
"Commander, you have the toy I made for the wee lass, right?" Scotty asked behind his console.
"Yes Scotty, I'll give it to her family. A little gift from the Enterprise." Jim tried to smile, hiding how his chest felt so tight it was getting hard to breathe.
"We have to beam down," interrupted Spock. "Mr. Scott?"
"Aye, aye Captain."
After beaming down, and being almost suffocated by a bunch of gleeful Betazoids speaking in their language, Jim felt a man take Amanda from his arms.
"We are immensely grateful for your help, Captain Spock, Commander Kirk. She is the most expected child in our culture."
"Amanda," Jim couldn't help himself from saying. "We named her Amanda."
"Amanda." The Betazoids looked at each other in what seemed like a meditating state. "She is Amanda already. She accepted the name, we shall not change it."
For some reason, that made Jim feel better. He'd gifted her with something that she'd always have.
They took the girl away from them, and the Betazoid ambassador explained how Betazoid extended its support to the Federation, and in a reciprocating action, they'd allow Amanda to maintain the bond she created with the members of the Enterprise, sharing their culture through her.
"That means… I mean, I was wondering… Can I get in touch with her, then? You know… call her or something?" Jim felt like kicking himself for sounding so insecure in front of Spock, but in this moment he couldn't care less about how much the Captain disapproved of his behavior.
"It would be an honor, Commander. It would be beneficial for her if you contact her when your schedule allows you. You are, of course, invited to come and see her whenever you want. We are grateful for your help, and Amanda will be happy if you remain in her life. We are making an open invitation to the Federation, and particularly to the Enterprise. You are brothers to our culture."
Somehow that made the lump in Kirk's throat less tight. The ambassador invited them to a celebration, but Spock, always the diplomat, declined politely and stated that they need to get back to business since they just spent three weeks travelling doing nothing but bringing them their kid. Jim handed over the toy Scotty built for Amanda, and he almost laughed out loud at seeing the ambassador's face. Clearly he didn't have any idea about what the hell it was; and honestly, neither did Jim.
After the farewells (the Betazoids were far too emotional for Spock's taste), they beamed back, noticing that everyone was expecting them.
"We can call her if we want to," said Jim to reassure them "and the name stuck. She is officially Amanda."
That seemed to lighten the mood, and everyone started chatting about how much they'd miss her.
"I am sure the girl will develop into a healthy, promising child," stated Spock carefully, perhaps because he noticed Jim still standing on the platform even when everybody else was already heading to their posts.
"Amanda will be amazing."
"Indeed."
As Jim watched Spock walking away from the Transporter room, he agreed with McCoy. He had a broken heart for the first time in his life. And he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
After his shift (and after filing the tons of reports Spock requested. He thought being second in command meant less paperwork), Jim strode into his room, and the first thing he saw was the empty crib still in his room. He specifically told his Yeoman he wanted it out before the end of Gamma shift. Jim approached the crib, feeling nostalgic. He just left Amanda eight hours ago. He couldn't be this emotional already.
Jim was taken out of his thoughts by a light buzz on his door. Expecting Bones with a bottle of Vodka, Jim opened the door quickly.
What he didn't expect, however, was Spock standing on the other side, looking almost nervous (in his Vulcan way, of course).
"Spock! What brings you here? Wait, did I miss one report? Because I'm pretty sure I gave you everything you asked for." And somehow Jim felt that was more literal that he would like.
"I am not here on any Enterprise related subject. I understand you play chess, and I was wondering if you are amenable to playing a game since we are both off duty for the night."
"You are asking me to play chess? With you?" And Jim thought watching Spock holding Amanda while talking about nourishment in human food in a scolding way would have been the freakiest thing in their interactions. He had a hard time not staring with his mouth wide open.
"Affirmative. Unless you have a previous engagement, I would not be averse to rescheduling." Spock seemed to have noticed the stare, and was not comfortable about it.
"No, no. I just… well, I didn't think you would like to continue with… you know? Never mind. Come in. This will be the first time I'll beat a Vulcan in chess."
"You seem overconfident. I assure you Vulcans are exceptional players, since it is a game of logic."
Something you clearly don't posses, that went without saying, but they both know it was implied.
"That's what I'm counting on, Captain." Jim closed the door, getting the chess board.
As Jim watched Spock sitting down, the image of Spock and he playing chess and drinking tea was back in his mind. Perhaps they were not so different after all. Perhaps there was a small chance for an epic friendship.