A/N: I'm sorry for the delay, I had a few challenges pending and RL got demanding. I hope you enjoy the chapter
Chapter 3B: "Excusatio non petita, accusatio manifesta"
Jim was stuck in the Botany lab. Apparently the damn plant was reacting only to his voice. He didn't even know plants could react to voices but then Sulu started ranting about how if he visited his daughter more often he would have known.
"I'm out of topics, Sulu," Jim complained. "I refuse to spend my leave here."
"You have responsibilities. Your daughter must come first," Sulu smiled.
"It's a plant."
"Don't be mean. Just stay a little bit longer, she's blossoming again."
"Fine. I don't know why I left you drag me here; besides, didn't you have plans for shore leave with Chekov? You know, making sure I don't corrupt him too much."
"Oh, right." Sulu glanced at the plant, avoiding eye contact with Jim. "Other things came up, and Lilly needed me."
Jim knew that something was going on between Chekov and Sulu, but he had no idea about what it could be. When he talked it over with Bones he shook his head and said 'damn love fest on the damn ship'. Maybe they had a fight or something.
"Are you still here?"
Sulu and Jim turned around, seeing Bones and Spock entering the lab at the same time.
"Yeah, the plant needed me," Jim scowled. "Hey, how was your visit to the Archimedes?"
"It's not like the Enterprise, but at least Edwards won't die there. I made sure of that."
"It is comfy? Did you like it? How about the crew?" Jim was extremely curious. He wanted to know about the ship that almost had him as First Officer.
"I was only there for two hours Jim, and I just visited the sickbay. Keller is still an ass, but he is more competent. The rest looked fine to me, but I wasn't being social."
"You're never social, Bones."
"I don't get paid to be social, otherwise the Captain would have already fired me."
Everyone looked at Spock, expecting a logical retort to bait Bones. Spock just kept silent.
"It won't hurt you be more friendly, Bones." Jim tried to continue the joking environment to see if Spock said something.
"By the way, Mitchell asked me to tell you that he extends a dinner invitation. He'll wait for you at 21:00 in that place you kept talking about when you heard about shore leave."
"Great!" Jim glanced at Spock who looked uncomfortable. "So, are you joining us, Bones?"
"No. I have better things to do than watch you ogling Mitchell. Sulu, are we still on for tonight?"
"Yes doctor, I'm trying to convince Scotty to join us!"
"What? Are you partying without me?" Jim looked hurt. He wasn't even aware of their plans for tonight; they hadn't had the decency to invite him.
"I was sure you were going out with Mitchell, you kept talking about it," Bones sighed. "We're not mind readers. Okay then, I'll see you later. Jim, easy on the drinks, I don't want Mitchell to take advantage of you."
Jim could swear he saw Spock flinch. What was that about?
"You tell Lilly another story and then you can go too Commander," said Sulu. "I'll leave the two of you alone. See you around, if you get bored on your date we're going to the bar downtown."
When Sulu said 'the two of you' Jim didn't know if he was referring to him and the plant or him and Spock. Sulu and Bones left looking rather mysterious. Spock just stood there, without saying anything even when Sulu and McCoy said their respectful 'Captain' at him. Okay, this was getting creepy. Spock hadn't been this serious since the incident with Bones. Jim tried to remember if he had said anything that involved Spock and could be considered gossip. So far, he had been very discreet; he talked about general things, nothing private.
"So." Jim didn't have any idea of what to say. It seemed safer to just ask about why Gary had wanted to talk with him. "Did you have fun with Gary?"
Okay, bad move. Spock went more rigid and looked downright murderous. Jim didn't know how Spock dared to say he had no emotions. As they had gotten to know each other, Jim could easily identify what Spock felt; he even had the eyebrows catalogued. The fact that in this case Spock had not raised any just made Jim edgier.
How could Gary piss off Spock? He knew about Vulcans and their boundaries, and it wasn't Spock's fault if Gary was angry about Starfleet was using him as a cargo ship. If Gary had made a nasty comment to Spock or blamed him about this, Jim would punch him. He admired the guy, but he was also loyal to the Enterprise. Nobody messed with any of the crew members and especially not with the Captain.
"Do I need to kick his ass?" asked Jim, maintaining a kidding tone.
"No, it would be detrimental to your position and you do not have any motive to become physically violent with Captain Mitchell."
Somehow Jim felt that Spock had wanted to say 'yes' at first and just backed out. He also noticed the dry tone in which Spock said Mitchell's title.
"Did he offend you? I'm sure he didn't mean to, but since I'm on shore leave I can punch him without repercussions." Ah, the incredulous eyebrow was up, he was making progress. "What did he want?"
"I am sure Captain Mitchell will inform you about what we discussed." Spock blinked "Commander, are you comfortable with your post?"
Jim frowned. He wasn't sure where Spock was heading, but it didn't sound good. He hadn't done anything wrong so far, and he even stuck to protocols most of the time, wasn't that enough for Spock?
"I don't know what you mean." Jim thought it was better to just clarify. They had the agreement to not jump to conclusions.
"Do you find yourself content serving here on the Enterprise?" Spock looked very uncomfortable, almost like he wanted to just stop talking and leave.
"Um… I guess. Why? Are you trying to get rid off me or something?" Jim was half joking. He still had the strange feeling that at any given moment Spock might just toss him out and leave him on a desert planet. Bones said it was impossible since there were too many witnesses and he should stop being overdramatic, but Jim always did that. He was never sure about anything in his life. He was used to people to just doing whatever they wanted and forgetting about him. Why would Spock be the exception? If he thought Jim was doing a lousy job and wanted to get rid of him, he was hardly going to ask for his opinion. Maybe this was his Vulcan way of saying that he was no longer needed on the Enterprise.
"I am not. I am simply repeating the task you performed with the crew members in the past week. I did not mean to offend you."
Maybe Bones was right and he was overdramatic. Jim had suggested Spock ask the crew members how they were feeling so far, since they were 30 days away from being six months on the job. It was a good time to make a diagnosis about probable changes to improve things. Spock agreed, but Jim was the one who made the time to ask every one of the crew members (including Spock, that was interesting) how they felt about serving on the Enterprise and if they enjoyed their jobs. So far everyone was at least satisfied, although it had been a bad idea to let Bones handle the sickbay. Jim had later found out that his friend had only said 'Are you comfortable with your job? If not, then quit and leave the place for someone more competent'. Obviously everyone in the medical ward expressed their contentment with being on the Enterprise, fearing that if they said something negative, Bones would make sure to transfer them.
Now hearing Spock, Jim felt like an insecure teenager again. Why he was so quick to jump to conclusions, and always negative ones? Of course Spock would want his opinion, he frequently said that Jim was important to the ship (even though Jim thought he just said it to be condescending), and Jim had never thought to include himself in the exercise.
"Don't worry, I'm paranoid. At least I know that if you want to get rid of me, you'll let me know first, right?" Jim smiled, but he was serious. He expected that if in the future Spock didn't want him around, he would say something before informing the Admirals. He only had six months left on this job; he couldn't screw things up in that small amount of time. Then again, Jim loved challenges. "Yeah, I like serving on the Enterprise, you've got the best crew, Spock. They are loyal, good at their jobs and fun. They'd follow you anywhere."
"I believe," Spock took a deep breath "that they only would follow me if you were next to me."
That particular phrase made Jim remember something his mother said when he told her about how Komack had left him as second in command. She said that the First Officer was not behind the Captain, but next to him. They shared the command, even when the Captain had the final word. The task of the First Officer was not jut to obey and take command when the Captain was injured; the First Officer stood beside the Captain when the boat was sinking. That was what happened to his father. He went down with his Captain to save the crew.
Jim was glad to hear that Spock also saw him as his equal, yet he was apprehensive that Spock truly believed that the crew would turn his back on him once Jim left the post when he got his own ship (not that Spock knew he was asking for a promotion when they reached a year into the mission, but still).
"Of course they would follow you Spock, no matter who was the second in command. They've seen how good you are at the job, they respect you and they like you. Trust me, they would go with you in everything."
Jim meant this to be comforting, but Spock looked tenser and the eyebrows were down again. He was getting tired of saying things and not knowing why they made people uncomfortable.
"You are the tactical part of the command. You are the one who leads almost every mission and you have instinct. You are far more capable than I am for the post."
This was getting weird again. It couldn't be that Spock felt insecure about his performance. He was Vulcan, they didn't get insecure… did they? Sure, Jim always meddled in every mission because that was his job. That didn't mean that Spock was less competent than him, besides, who was comparing? They had different styles and they had reached a common ground. Perhaps Vulcans weren't immune to lack of confidence.
"Oh, come on, under that criteria even Bones is more capable for the post," joked Jim, trying to ease the situation.
That worked. Spock lifted his 'I'm not amused' eyebrow.
"The Doctor will need intensive training on manners and social behavior before he even considers going for the job." Yeah, Spock was amused. Jim could tell because his voice was less stiff.
"You can't change that about Bones, it's what makes him funny!" Jim glanced at the plant, seeing how it was blossoming again. Sometimes when the plant felt sad (Sulu kept saying it had feelings, Jim thought he was a total nutcase) it hid its blossoms to protect them. The plant was making tons of contributions and Sulu was ecstatic. However, every time the plant hid the blossoms, they called Jim to talk to it. Apparently his voice did something, since after a while the plant showed the blossoms and they could continue with the research. "It seems that my job here is done. The plant is blossoming again."
"I thought Mister Sulu said that you should not call the plant 'it' as it is not an object."
"Sulu isn't here. And he's overprotective of the plant; a good parent gives the children space." Jim stood up, stretching. "I've been sitting next to the plant for hours."
"Two point five hours to be exact," added Spock.
"Well, I need to kill time before beaming down for dinner. How about chess?"
Jim expected Spock to give him one of his comments about how you can't kill time and the scientific explanation of why it was impossible, but Spock just nodded and started walking away. Jim was considering taking the advice Bones gave him and starting to record everything he said to see what he was saying to provoke people into anger.
Jim beamed down, curious about what Gary had told Spock. The Vulcan was very secretive about it and even when Jim asked him during the chess game he still said Jim would find out eventually. Jim knew Spock wasn't the fun type who visited bars or clubs. He hoped that he'd at least loosened up a little and joined Uhura and Bones, since they were going to a bar with Sulu (they couldn't convince Scotty to beam down too, he was busy tearing apart the ship). Spock would probably stay on the ship too; Jim would have to teach him how to have a good time, maybe tomorrow.
Seeing Gary, Jim smiled widely. Bones was snippy when Jim told them to have a good time, and Uhura looked at him like he was betraying someone by going out with a person who wasn't member of the Enterprise crew. He knew Bones wasn't fond of Gary, in fact he hated him because he was 'too arrogant', even though Jim was also arrogant. Uhura, however, didn't know Gary, why was she pissed? Then Jim remembered the rumors around the Academy. Gary had the reputation of taking advantage of others to get what he wanted. There was even a rumor about how he slept his way into the commanding post. Jim had a strange vision of Gary trying to seduce Pike, since back then he was the one recommending Cadets into ships, but Pike setting him straight right away. Uhura must have heard the gossip and that was why she seemed affronted as well.
Contrary to popular believe, Jim didn't sleep with anyone who sweet talked him. He liked Gary because he didn't hold anything back. He spoke and acted by instincts, and Jim thought that was something a good Captain had to do. Not that Spock was a bad Captain, but he wasn't too fond of following hunches.
"I see McCoy passed along my message. I wasn't too sure, since he just scowled at me and said he was a doctor and not a damn messenger boy." Gary clapped Jim's shoulder.
"Bones always passes along messages; he just likes to complain about it. If you weren't sure, you could have commed me."
"I like the mystery. Come on, I'm starving."
Jim had a strange feeling about this dinner. Gary didn't seem different, he was the same cheerful and funny guy he remembered, but Jim felt like something was off. They sat down and ordered; Gary started talking about how being Captain was no fun since he was tied by Starfleet and so far he'd only had boring assignments. Jim sympathized; the Enterprise was used as a diplomatic ship most of the time, and so far they had only had two dangerous missions when they could have been involved in more important things. Spock kept saying that there was no small assignment and it wasn't necessary to be in war or conflict to have a 'fun' mission; obviously coming from a guy who claimed to be a pacifist that didn't mean much.
"So, Jimmy, what about you? Is the Enterprise what you expected?" Gary looked at Jim with curiosity.
Jim felt like this was a trick question. Had the Admirals sent Mitchell to test the waters? He was being paranoid… again.
"It's better. The ship is awesome, and the crew is the best. I can honestly say that I'm having the best time of my life."
Well, that wasn't exactly true, but he wasn't having a terrible time either, and this was far less than what he'd expected. He had been prepared to serve being all submissive and being used as a puppet.
"Really? You can tell me the truth, you know I won't say."
"If I compare it with what I expected, of course it sucks, I thought I was going to be Captain, but it's not that bad, I can get my ship in six months, I think the USS Pegasus is my best choice."
"I agree, although it's not the Enterprise."
"Spock won't be Captain forever. In five years he has to step back, maybe Starfleet will make him Admiral, and I can get the ship. I'm in no rush, I can wait."
"My First Officer is taking a medical leave," Gary sighed. "I don't have a second in command."
"Why? What happened to your officer?"
"He's an idiot. Half of the Cadets that are serving now don't have the basic instincts to be in this job. He was injured when he got lost on a mission. You know the worst part? We haven't had any dangerous missions so far. We were recollecting things for a planet and he forgot to take his map and communicator. He's a First Officer and he forgot the basics. He deserved what happened to him." Gary shook his head.
"So, who are you requesting?"
"I talked to your Captain. I thought that you two wouldn't get along since you're all instincts and he's all logic. He also tried to kill you; I couldn't imagine why you would want to serve with a Captain who clearly doesn't like you."
"We had a misunderstanding, it wasn't a big deal."
"He tried to strangle you and then tossed you onto an ice planet. I would call that a hell of a misunderstanding. I told Spock that I want you as my First Officer."
"What?" Jim almost choked on his glass of wine.
"I told Spock that I want you as my First Officer. If we both agree, it doesn't matter what you want." Jim was about to retort but Gary smiled. "Yeah, I know, you have a choice too, but you know that if Spock agreed and signed, you wouldn't have a lot of options. I even said that I would deal with the Admirals, since I thought they forced Spock into having you as his second in command. I told him it would be easier for him to just hand you to me and then he could choose whoever he wanted."
"Well, thanks for considering me. I feel like a chair," Jim complained. What gave Gary the right to just ask for him like he was an object? Now he really was considering how rude he was to the plant. He still maintained that it was a plant and hence it had no feelings or consciousness, but if there was a small chance (after all, it was an alien plant) that it was semi-conscious, he was going to start calling it 'she' as Sulu did. He was angry at Spock, too. No wonder he didn't want to give him the details of his chat with Gary. He was planning on trading him like he was nothing.
"Come on Jimmy, you know I asked for you originally. You worked with me and we made a good team, you belonged to me first."
"You should have peed on me to mark your territory, then" Jim spat. "I don't belong to anyone, not Spock and certainly not you. If this is your idea of convincing me to join your crew without making a fuss let me tell you that for that comment you won a very loud complaint and probably a good punch. I can take you, I managed to tackle down Giotto and he's twice your height."
"Jim, calm down, I didn't mean it like that." Gary was trying to stop the rant Jim was about to make. Good luck with that. "I thought it would be the perfect solution, I didn't want you to serve with a Captain who almost killed you and I felt this worked for everyone. I didn't know you were comfortable enough on the Enterprise to actually complete the year. I resented Komack because I asked for you and they gave you to Spock, and I thought you were on the same page, resenting that they forced you to serve with the Vulcan. Clearly I was wrong, there's no need to tackle me down… at least not with a violent intention."
"You usually ask first," Jim frowned, but tried to calm down. Gary was right, he was exaggerating, and in a weird way he was being nice to Jim. He noticed the innuendo in Gary's comment. He'd better act like he hadn't said anything. The last thing Jim needed was messing around with the person who was pissing him off. Very complicated. "You aren't off the hook yet, I'm still considering punching you."
"Fine; I didn't expect you to be this angry. In my defense, it was a good solution, a very logical one."
Jim remembered the chat with Spock earlier. He'd honestly believed he asked Jim about how he felt on the Enterprise because he wanted to know, and not because he was thinking about transferring him. Spock must have been glad to see a way out of having Jim as his second in command. Pike had told him Spock requested him specifically, but now he felt like an idiot. Of course Pike would tell him that, he wanted him on the Enterprise to be controlled by Spock. And the Admirals were happy too because if Jim didn't make it, then they won. Even when Jim directly asked Spock about why he requested, he'd probably lied. He had tact and he won't say that the Admirals had forced him into hiring Jim.
"Let me guess. Spock had the transfer papers with him, ready to sign. He must have been waiting for this opportunity; you gave him the best option." Jim tried very hard to maintain a neutral tone, almost like he was joking, but he knew he didn't make it when Gary looked at him with a frown.
"Actually, he didn't. He said no. He told me very clearly that he requested you and the Admirals didn't force him into anything."
"What?" That was the last thing Jim anticipated.
"Yeah, he said he wasn't interested in my offer and that I could piss off and die. Well, not with those exact words, but I can read between the lines. The eyebrow thing is a little bit scary."
"You get used to it," smiled Jim, feeling at ease for the first time since he heard about Gary's talk with Spock. He needed to work in his trust on people, definitely. "So, Spock doesn't want me out?"
"I didn't believe it either. Apparently you won his Vulcan heart, Jimmy; I wonder what species is immune to your charm. So far you got Orions, Betazoids and Vulcans."
Jim knew Gary too well to not see what he was implying. He hinted that Jim was earning his place with Spock with sex. Why did everyone think he used sex to get respect? Jim had learned to just go with the flow, that didn't mean he didn't get tired of it sometimes.
"The only way you can win a Vulcan over is being good at your job, and I'm the best," Jim smiled.
"That was what your Captain said. Apparently you are 'efficient and resourceful'. Still Jim, don't tell me you don't get bored. All those rules and acting all constipated, it must be tiring for a free spirited person like you."
"Nah, Spock deals with my personality. He never censures me; I think he just got used to my babbling and crazy ideas." It was natural that Gary thought Jim would be reserved, but Jim wanted to show that it was the contrary. Spock was respectful and he even tried to adapt to humans. Spock was the one working harder.
"He said that even when he wouldn't lend you to me, he wouldn't stand in your way if you chose to leave; Spock doesn't want you off the Enterprise, and I want you on my ship. We both decided to leave it up to you."
They both decided? How nice of them to let him know about it at all. Honestly, his urge to punch Gary was back. He understood why Gary thought it was the best option, but had he hit his head on something? If Spock had already said he wanted Jim on the Enterprise, and Jim liked it there, why in seven hells would he decide to transfer to the Archimedes?
"You two are just trying to wash your hands of this mess because you discussed it like my opinions don't count. You should have asked me if I wanted to leave and Spock should have asked me if I wanted to stay. Is this a Captaincy thing? Because if it is, then I'm taking notes never to do that."
"Okay, I admit that maybe I should have asked you, but honestly, I thought it was a sure thing that you would want to run off the Enterprise as soon as you could. You said it was either being on that ship as Captain or nothing at all."
"I was drunk, and I don't remember exactly how I ended up calling you. Bones knows better than to leave me alone for five minutes when I'm totally wasted. Look, Gary, it's nice of you to want me and all, but I'm on the Enterprise willingly, Spock didn't abduct me or anything. I have Bones, and I kind of have fun with Spock sometimes. I like it."
"Well, it can't hurt to ask, right? If you are truly happy there, then fine by me, I'll back off. But at least consider my offer, Jimmy. You know we can do amazing things together; we can change the way the Admirals are doing missions. We can make a difference, and I'll be happy to help you get the USS Pegasus. Did you forget all our plans?"
Jim hadn't exactly forgotten, but he didn't think about them too often. Mainly because he thought Gary had just been patronizing him when they talked. Gary was a First Officer, Jim was a Cadet, and it was natural that he indulged Jim in his ramblings. He'd never given it much thought; it wasn't like Jim to stick to a plan for long. If he saw better things, he forgot about what he'd already planned and moved on to new, shiny things. The only goal he wouldn't change for anything was being the Enterprise's Captain; no matter how much time it cost him to finally obtain it.
Jim knew that Gary would give him more freedom than Spock, and he could do great things with that liberty.
"Think about it, Jim," smiled Gary, like he knew what Jim was contemplating. "We take off tomorrow, you can tell me then. This is a great opportunity, and you know it."
Jim wondered for whom, exactly, this was a great opportunity. Deciding that a change of subject was in order, he asked Gary about letting Giotto accompany Edwards. Even when Jim tried hard to just forget what Gary had said, his mind had other ideas. He kept playing out his options while he conversed casually with Gary, and it didn't help that the guy always managed to throw in nasty comments about the Admiralty. Jim agreed with some of them; it was true that they could change things.
Bones would be gloating if he could see Gary right know. He was kind of touchy with Jim even before he looked at him with any interest besides the academic. Bones had always been suspicious of Gary and felt that he was working his way into Jim's bed. Now Jim was sure he wanted to work his way into Jim accepting his offer and he thought sex was the best way to accomplish that. Jim couldn't blame Gary for trying; if he had heard the rumors about Jim then he probably concluded it was the easiest way to get Jim to agree to anything he proposed. People were stupid like that. He'd lost count of all the hook ups with ulterior motives he'd been offered and had rejected firmly. This was no exception. Gary was attractive and Jim hadn't have sex in… damn, five months and counting. But he could get laid anywhere without the emotional drama. When others found out that Jim had used them instead of the other way around, they got upset, and Jim hated hypocrites. Gary may be different, but Jim didn't want to know.
Jim used Bones and the others as an excuse to decline Gary's offer to 'get more comfortable'; he still insisted that Jim to consider his transference while Jim just nodded, trying to look accepting. He didn't have to consider anything, he'd chosen the Enterprise a while ago. If Jim truly wanted to be on another vessel, he would be there right now; he didn't bend just because others demanded it. When he and Gary parted ways, Jim walked directly to the bar where Sulu had said they would be. It wasn't a surprise to see his friend as soon as he entered, sitting on one of the barstools. He was alone.
"Hey, Bones." Jim sat down next to him.
"What are you doing here? I thought you and Mitchell had business," Bones slurred.
"Where's Sulu?"
"Apparently today I'm the designated counsellor for the damn ship. Everyone just tells me their stupid problems expecting me to fix them. I'm a doctor, not fucking Santa Claus."
He hadn't exactly answered Jim's question, but Jim knew that his friend was getting wasted and that meant he would make even less sense as the night went on.
"If that's the case, I have a problem too."
"Take antibiotics and pray your dick doesn't fall off."
"Very funny; no, my problem actually would make your life easier." That got Bones' attention. "I knew you would be interested. Gary asked me to transfer to his ship."
"Oh, yeah. I heard his First Officer was incapacitated. You told him to fuck off, right?"
"Not exactly. You always complain about how I'm a nuisance and you don't want to deal with me. I thought perhaps I should do you a favor and transfer."
"You know I don't mean that; what's this really about?" Bones frowned.
"With Gary I wouldn't have to watch my mouth or be careful about protocol. I would actually be supported when I want to do something crazy."
"And that's good because…?"
"Freedom, Bones."
Bones looked at Jim. Even when he was slightly drunk, he still understood what Jim meant.
"Look Jim, you need a leash, otherwise you just mess things up. I was your leash back in the Academy, Pike was your leash during all your training… you know better than anyone that when you get the Captaincy of the USS Pegasus, the responsibility for your crew is going to be your damn leash. You don't want freedom; you want to avoid the consequences of your actions, and that's something not even your beloved Mitchell can promise you. You're a smart guy. If Mitchell wants you this badly, it's probably because he's going to do something morally wrong and expects you to follow him."
Jim was aware that Gary was insistent for a reason. He must have a plan that involved Jim somehow, but he couldn't do anything while Jim was second in command on another vessel. Maybe if Jim had the Captaincy of the Enterprise, he could still help Mitchell. Jim saw things differently now; it was easier to criticize when you were a Cadet. When you serve you realize that the Admirals and Captains aren't the assholes you believed they were. Not the majority of them, at least. Jim had even reconciled himself with the Kobayashi Maru test, finally understanding its main purpose. He still disagreed about how it was handled, and he'd told Spock so on several occasions, but he got the importance of the test before you jump into missions. It opened the door to possibilities that you'd never considered before.
"And what exactly is my leash now, Bones?" asked Jim, curious.
"Spock, of course; I thought that was obvious. But then, you never see what's in front of you. Come on, you're making sure I get on the right ship and sleep in the right room. The last thing I need is to wake up on another vessel with a woman I've never met before." Bones stood up, leaning on Jim for support.
Jim ended carrying Bones halfway since he fell asleep on Jim's shoulder and drooled all over him. Yeah, it made sense that Spock had become his leash. Bones was right about one thing: Jim needed something to hold on to, something that mattered enough that Jim didn't go and got himself killed jumping from cars or fighting in dirty bars with four guys who were twice his height. Jim was impulsive, intuitive, acted by instinct. Spock was logical and methodical. He had found a good restraint this time. This only reinforced his decision to stay on the Enterprise. With Gary, he would be a mess; that was for sure. Spock and Bones gave him some sort of balance.
After putting his best friend on his bed (good thing he could override the security codes, too), he left quietly, smiling. It was a long time since they'd chatted and drank together. Jim spent most of his time with Spock, and Bones in Sickbay with Chapel. The last time he was with Bones for at least an hour was when Spock gave him the silent treatment. Wait, that couldn't be right… but it was. When Jim asked Bones about mind melds, he was in Sickbay like fifteen minutes, tops. Jim felt like a jerk. Bones was always there, helping him out, and Jim tossed him away just because he had Spock now. It was true that sometimes the three of them shared a meal; however, it was less frequent that he and Bones spent time together, just the two of them, or even talked.
We seriously need a monthly room-mate getaway. Jim remembered telling this to Bones when they were in their first year, back in the Academy. They were no longer room-mates, and now had different schedules and responsibilities; still, Jim could make the monthly friendship getaway to be with Bones. After his dinner with Gary, Jim had planned on beaming back and seeing if Spock was up to chat or play chess; this showed he was forgetting he had another friend on the ship, and Sulu had told him where they were going to be for a reason. That man was far too intuitive for Jim's taste, but at least he was convinced that he made a fine choice with Sulu as second in command. He shook his head, thinking that he had a lot of things to set straight. His friendship with Bones, Gary and his proposal, and now that he saw the Kirk with the golden shirt yelling at Spock with the blue shirt, he added calling the Ambassador to that list. Blinking, Jim saw the hallway that lead to his room again and he let out a breath of air. Well, at least that Kirk and he were equally loud.
The next day, Jim entered the mess hall and saw Bones already sitting at one of the tables, looking grumpy. He must be really hung-over.
"Hi, Bones!" he said cheerfully, sitting in front of him.
"Shut up, you don't have to yell." Bones put his hand on his head, rubbing it slowly. "Why did you undress me?"
"Bones, how could you forget our special night? It was awesome, you are a true gentleman in everything, you know that?"
"You better not have taken pictures of me, or I'll kill you," Bones scowled.
Jim laughed quietly; back in the Academy, Gaila took pictures of him when he was naked (and drunk) and sold them to anyone who was interested. Jim was surprised when he found out that Bones had bought a bunch and threatened him with sending them to Komack with a note that said 'For your eyes only'.
Jim had promised he would do the same to Bones one day. It would have been great if Jim took advantage of Bones yesterday, but he was trying to mend his stupidity.
"Well, I thought of sending the best ones to Spock," he joked.
Bones was shocked, hang-over suddenly forgotten.
"You wouldn't…"
"Relax, I didn't take them. But you owe me."
"You owe me, like, a million times more." Bones calmed down, taking a sip of his coffee. "So, are you leaving or what?"
"Nah, you know you're my soul mate, I couldn't leave you."
"Yeah, I'm sure it's me you can't leave," Bones said with some sort of melancholy. "The soul mate part's true, though, even when it's not me."
"What?" Jim was confused. Bones was really mysterious lately, saying weird things. Maybe he really did need to spend more time with him.
"When are you going to inform Mitchell?"
"When we beam Edwards onto his ship. We have two hours."
"What are you doing in the meantime? You and the elf have plans?"
Jim couldn't blame McCoy for thinking he would make plans with Spock before he actually considered spending time with him. It was what Jim usually did, recently.
"No, I'm staying with you. We seriously need a monthly friendship get away."
Bones looked at him with doubt, and then he smiled gently.
"I thought that was really stupid the first time you said it," Bones said "but I could get used to it… again."
Spock could be his leash now, and even one of his best friends, but Bones was his brother, and that wouldn't change.
They talked about Joanna; Jim hadn't heard about her in a while, maybe because he hadn't spent much time with Bones recently. That caused Jim a small pang of guilt. He was a shitty friend; he needed to repay Bones just for enduring his crap.
"Bones, you still want to know about my hallucinations?"
Since the mess hall was almost deserted now, Jim thought it appropriate to see if he could tell his friend everything.
"Don't ask stupid questions, Jim, you know that I do. I don't get the secrecy, are you sick? Someone made a diagnosis? Spock fucked up your mind?"
"Wow, you have been considering the options, haven't you?"
"If you don't say anything it's up to me to guess what the hell is going on. Are you finally done being all mysterious?"
"I think so. Bones, this is super secret, you can't tell anyone. I haven't even told Spock, and you can't even hint at something in front of him, okay? He'd know right away."
Bones put his cup of coffee back on the table, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Oh, this is going to be good. You know I won't tell; you don't need to get all twitchy."
Jim smiled. Of course he knew Bones wouldn't tell. He took a deep breath, and started talking about Delta Vega. It was the first time Jim had said this out loud, sharing what he really felt. When Ambassador Spock told him about his true identity, Jim first thought he was a Vulcan abandoned there because he was mad. Then with the mind meld Jim got things straight, but also gained a few memories that were now troubling him. That Spock was caring, he smiled often and he even used sarcasm. He antagonized Bones too, that must be an obligation in every parallel universe. However, in that time Bones and Spock seemed friendlier with each other. Perhaps if his Bones and Spock kept the banter going they would get there.
Bones was speechless; he just stared at Jim like he'd grown a second head.
"Are you telling me you let a complete stranger who may have been crazy poke into your head because he said he was Spock? What the hell is wrong with you?"
Well, at least this was better than silent shock.
"He had to explain everything quickly, and I was abandoned there, what else did I have to lose? Besides, he saved me, if it wasn't for him I'd be dead."
"Jim, I get that it was desperate times and all, but he clearly didn't know what he was doing. He left things in your head that are popping out whenever they feel like it. It can't be good to have an extra set of memories that don't belong to you. Why don't you talk to the hobgoblin? Maybe he can help."
"I can't talk to Spock about it!"
"Why the hell not? He's the same, but younger. That makes him responsible for your head. You have to tell him."
"Look, I'll talk to the Ambassador; but Spock can't know, the Ambassador mentioned something about the universe going wacky if Spock knew about his existence. Furthermore, think about what would cause to Spock to know about the Ambassador. Imagine an older version of you wandering around."
"Well, I wouldn't be poking people's head, that's for sure." Bones sighed.
"No, maybe you would chase them with a hypospray," Jim smiled.
"Only if they deserved it. Okay, you won't tell the elf, I got it. You think he hasn't noticed your hallucinations?"
"Why would he? You hadn't noticed them."
"I don't spend my time attached to your hip like he does."
Jim knew his friend didn't mean his comment as a complaint, and wasn't attempting to make him feel bad about it, but Jim felt Bones had a good point there. How could he notice if something was wrong with Jim, if Jim hadn't bothered to spend enough time with him for Bones to notice anything off?
"If he noticed something," said Jim finally "he hasn't said anything."
"Go figure." Bones didn't seem too surprised about this. "I knew you kept something from your ice trip to Delta Vega; I just didn't imagine it would involve another elf. This universe doesn't need two of them. So you definitely aren't going to say anything to Spock?"
"Nope. I can manage just fine until I speak with the Ambassador. And you better be discreet about it."
"What could I possibly do? Go and tell Spock that he has an older, sneaky twin who pokes into other people's heads like it's nothing and takes advantage of the stupidity of said people?"
"Hey! He didn't take advantage, I let him!" Jim defended.
"That's why it's called 'taking advantage'; you voluntarily let someone go in your head and move things around, like you weren't damaged before. I don't know how those things work, but I'm asking M'Benga about this."
"Bones!"
"I'll be careful, damn it!"
Jim glared at his friend, but then smiled, feeling happier than before. He'd finally said something about this secret that was honestly becoming too weird for him to bear alone. Now at least Bones would listen to his rants about it, he wouldn't have to feel on his own every time a stupid memory came and disrupted whatever he was doing.
"That Jim Kirk was Captain, you know?" Jim smiled sadly.
"He was older than you, Jim. Besides, you can't do that. You can't compare your life with his, you two are different, and you better acknowledge that."
"Yes, I know, I know… I can't help but compare, though. You had blue eyes."
"So what? He isn't me; he could be a woman for all I care. Come on, let's go. I have to discharge Edwards and lecture Keller about the procedures."
"I thought you did that yesterday."
"And now I'll do it again." Bones smirked.
Jim couldn't take away Bones' hobby: yelling at medical staff. They were in the transporter room, watching Edwards disappear accompanied by Giotto, when Jim realized that he hadn't heard from Spock so far.
"Scotty, the Captain beamed down already?" Jim asked.
"Aye! He left orders to transport Edwards as soon as the good doctor ordered, and then beamed down with Nyota."
"What? Everyone here calls her by her first name? That's not fair!" Jim pouted.
"That's a privilege you have to win, Jim." Bones clapped Jim's shoulder.
"Two to beam down, Scotty." Jim felt a little insecure about what to do next. He'd expected Spock to be there and deal with Gary in his own 'I told you no' Vulcan way. When Spock was in Captain mode (which was most of the time), he could be scary.
Spock had finished his shared meal with Nyota, noticing that he had not had any communications from the Enterprise or Commander Kirk. If Kirk was injured, Doctor McCoy would have told him since he had strict orders to notify Spock when any crew member happened to be harmed. That Kirk was the most liable to get injured was not Spock's fault. The Commander was, as Nyota said, 'a disaster magnet'. He was trying to include Terran colloquial phrases in his vocabulary to get more involved in their culture and habits; however, it was difficult since it depended on the context and sometimes the same phrase could be misinterpreted.
Given that McCoy had not commed him and rumors were mostly about the incident in the bar the night before, Spock wondered if Kirk had accepted Mitchell's offer, and was preparing the paperwork for the transfer. The Commander hated paperwork; he always procrastinated anything that involved that particular activity until Spock had two choices: either he did the Commander's job for him, or he compelled him to do it himself. He chose the latter, and that was why he and Kirk were together almost every night after shift when they had the opportunity. He would assume Kirk would decline the offer merely to avoid the official procedures that were involved.
"Hey, are you okay?" Nyota looked at him with uncertainty.
"I am."
"Oh. Okay, you stayed silent for a while, and you didn't seem to be hearing what I was saying."
She was correct. Spock had not had heard what she said because he was thinking about the Commander and his future departure.
"Nyota, if Commander Kirk resigned his post, who you think would be the best choice to fill the position?"
Nyota frowned, like Spock had said something odd. Before their friendly parting, she had often done that when Spock talked about Commander Kirk with her.
"Why do you ask? Is Kirk being an idiot?" she said lightly, but Spock could see confusion in her eyes.
"He is not. I ask because Commander Kirk may be considering service on another ship."
"What? That idiot! Don't tell me Mitchell offered him a job. I knew it!" Nyota was angry; Spock did not understand how she changed emotions this quickly.
"I do not know if he asked Mister Kirk, however he spoke to me about 'lending' him the Commander. I must say I was disconcerted by the fact that he hinted we could trade Mister Kirk as if he were an object. I found that distasteful and offensive."
"You shouldn't be surprised, Mitchell treats people like garbage. If Kirk transfers, then he's an idiot and I'll hate him again. Mitchell must want something from Jim; I knew it when he said he was having dinner with him."
"Indeed, I believe Mister Mitchell extended his offer to the Commander during their shared meal the night before."
"You think he'll transfer?" Nyota looked at him now with a glimpse of sadness.
Before Spock could even think about how to answer, he heard the small buzz from his communicator. Nyota sighed, almost like she had been expecting this interruption.
"Spock."
"Kirk here. Captain, long time, no hear." Spock heard Doctor McCoy snorting, he was probably accompanying Kirk. "We need your signature on one of the forms."
"I believe I signed every document Doctor McCoy sent me."
"Well, it's not my damn fault, you damn…"
"Bones!" Kirk chastised.
"What? I'm on shore leave, if I want to call him ELF I'll call him ELF."
Doctor McCoy was being loud and insufferable, that probably meant that the medical staff on the USS Archimedes had made a mistake already and he had to fix it.
"We're in the Enterprise's Conference room. Can you make it, or are you busy with Uhura?"
Spock glanced at Nyota, who only raised an eyebrow. Apparently she had heard the disapproving tone in the Commander's voice when he made his comment. Moreover, Kirk knew that Spock never eluded his duty for personal reasons. This was disconcerting.
"I will beam up immediately, Commander. Spock out."
As he put his communicator back at his waist, he noticed the strange look Nyota was directing at him.
"What was that about?" she asked.
"I do not know. Perhaps Doctor McCoy is occupied with unexpected documents."
"I don't mean Leonard. Kirk was weird, didn't you notice something?"
He did. He also would not say it.
"No. If you will excuse me, Nyota, I have to go."
"Yeah, sure," she smiled. "See you later."
Spock knew Nyota watched him until he beamed back to the Enterprise.
The last person Jim expected to see when he and Bones arrived in the Conference room was Gary with Kevin. What the hell was Kevin doing there?
"Hey, Jimmy!" Gary stoop up, hugging him. He hadn't done that yesterday.
"Hi. How did you get here?"
"You give us permission to come aboard, remember?"
"Yes, to the transporter room. You know better than to wander around a strange ship that isn't yours," Jim frowned. "And what are you doing here, Kevin?"
"Hi, Jim!" Kevin smiled. "Bones!"
Jim almost laughed when he heard the nickname from Kevin's lips. Bones looked like he was about to punch someone.
"Leonard," Bones said dryly, sitting next to Kevin.
"Jim, you're very rude on this ship, I wonder if it's because you have to follow all those boring rules." Gary sighed. "Your nurse walked us here and told us to wait for you. There, happy?"
"She isn't my nurse, she's Bones'," Jim sat down too "and I'm ecstatic, thanks for asking."
"Here, Keller told me to give this to you." Gary took out a small PADD and handed it to Bones. "It needs your Captain's signature."
"What? I sent all the paperwork already signed!"
"Keller forgot to update the chart and he needed a new one."
"He forgot? What kind of a moron forgets to update a chart? I'm about to get Edwards back to the Enterprise," Bones muttered.
"Be my guest," Gary smiled. Apparently he had heard everything McCoy said. "You'll have to explain it to Pike, though."
"Let me call Spock and tell him we need him."
"You need him," Gary repeated like he couldn't believe it.
"Are you deaf?" Bones interjected. "Because you just heard me fine."
"Why are we all so snippy?" Jim asked them with a frown. It almost seemed like they were fighting. "We're setting a bad example for Kevin."
"It's no different to when Admiral Komack visits Admiral Pike's classes," Kevin chuckled.
"Yeah, those fights are epic," Jim mused. "Kevin, what's up? Why are you here?"
"That would be my fault, Jim," said Gary. "You see, Kevin here is doing an internship on the Archimedes. Obviously, you can see Komack's behind this. Since we have Cadets, we have to be careful and all that crap. However, it got my attention that you will be down two security members, and coincidently Kevin is specializing in that area. I thought it would be a great idea if he finished his internship here, on the Enterprise. He needs field experience, and let me tell you, my ship is anything but an opportunity for that. So far I've only had him carrying boxes and playing poker with the rest of my security department. So I brought him here to you."
Jim was astonished. What the hell? Kevin was still a Cadet and, true, when you did internships it was to get field experience, but the Enterprise wasn't a kindergarten. They couldn't take Kevin just because Gary thought it was a 'great idea'.
"I told Pike about it and he agreed," added Gary, almost like he'd read Jim's mind.
"What? Who said you could take those liberties?"
"I asked for my transfer, Jim," interrupted Kevin. "I mean, Commander Kirk. Captain Mitchell was only helping me."
"Are you insane? Why in seven hells would you want to serve HERE? There are other vessels."
"You mean 'safe' vessels?" Kevin frowned. "The Enterprise is the best ship; it would be an honor to serve here. And if I do a good job, maybe Captain Spock will request me in the future. This is my decision, Jim. Not yours."
"That's where you're wrong. I'm the Commander, I can decide too," Jim spat.
"Jim, can I talk to you for a moment?" Bones stood up, taking Jim by the arm and trying to pull him up.
"No." Jim glared at Bones.
Bones pushed him out the room, to at least get out of hearing-range.
"What's the matter with you?" McCoy scowled.
"What's the matter with you?" retorted Jim. "You can't honestly tell me you think this is a good idea."
"I can honestly tell you that you can't forbid anything. If Kevin wants to be here, what's the big deal?"
"Come on, he's still a Cadet! Imagine he beams down to a dangerous mission, what then? We can't babysit him all the damn time!" Jim was raising his voice.
"He's in Starfleet, Jim. He's bound to do that eventually. You can't take care of him forever. You need to let him be his own person."
"Oh, don't give me that crap! Komack put him on Gary's ship because it was safe."
"Komack put him on Mitchell's ship to punish the Captain, not because he wanted to protect Kevin. If Pike said it was okay, then you can't do anything."
"I can talk to Spock. He could say no."
"Jim, how do you think Kevin will feel when he sees you blocking his path? He is your friend. He'd feel betrayed if you did that."
Bones was right about that. When Jim was arguing with Gary, he could see the hurt look from Kevin. Jim hated that Kevin had enlisted, but he couldn't stop him from serving, and if he was on the Enterprise, at least Jim could make sure he wasn't hurt and that he was trained properly to face anything. He was looking at this from the wrong angle. He could protect Kevin.
"Let me call Spock so he can join us."
"He'll blame me for the paperwork, you'll see." Bones was relaxing as he saw Jim's anger fade.
"You are too paranoid, Bones."
After Jim commed Spock, he realized he was uncomfortable about the fact that he was with Uhura. What did he expect? She was his friend, and he was free to spend his leave with whoever he wanted. Hopefully Spock didn't notice anything and he could just continue as if nothing had happened.
"You came to your senses?" Gary asked as soon as Jim stepped back into the room.
"None of your business," he snapped.
"I assume that also means you won't take my offer, right?" Gary looked oddly resigned.
"That's right, you can shove your offer up your -"
"Commander Kirk." Spock was frozen in the doorframe, looking appalled. Spock got all worked up when Jim was defiant with those who 'outranked him', which included most of the people they met, to be honest. Sometimes being First Officer sucked.
"It's okay, Captain, Jimmy and I have an understanding. I took no offence at his comment. Although I expect him to compensate me next time we share a shore leave," Gary smiled rather lasciviously.
Jim noticed that Spock didn't look too convinced about that; still, Jim wouldn't apologize even if Spock ordered him. Gary was crossing the line; who the fuck was he to order people around and send them crewmembers like he was in charge of everything? Jim breathed, expecting Spock to take his seat next to Bones, opposing Mitchell as was customary. He tensed when the Vulcan sat down next to him instead, perhaps to remind Jim of his authority and stop him from being insubordinate again. Mitchell was surprised as well, while Bones seemed to be indifferent.
"What can we do for you, Captain Mitchell?" Spock glanced at Kirk with the eyebrow of doubt lifted right up. Jim realized he'd forgotten to tell Spock about Gary and Kevin being onboard.
"You can sign the form I handed to your CMO, for starters," Mitchell smiled placidly. "And if I may, I wish to congratulate you on your loyal First Officer. He declined my offer too; apparently the Enterprise is better than a shore leave on Ressa 4."
Jim frowned. Gary was a sore loser, he knew it. But telling Spock this like he should care was another thing. What did he expect? Spock probably wouldn't even understand why everyone thought Ressa 4 was the best place for shore leave. In the Academy, all Cadets knew the rumors about that place; beach, always sunny and beautiful natives. They all hoped to visit the place at least once.
To his credit, Spock only nodded like he agreed. Spock often did that when he didn't have any idea of what to say, and it seemed a neutral answer for everything. Jim tried to take advantage of that, but Spock always managed to understand the tricky comments Jim made to see if he nodded; he didn't, he kept asking questions until he deciphered the true meaning behind the remark.
Spock finally noticed Kevin. Or, at least, he acknowledge his existence; he probably was aware of him since he arrived but was too polite to ask who the hell was that kid.
"May I ask about the presence of the young Cadet?" Spock looked at Gary.
"He's Kevin Riley. Since you didn't lend me Jim, I'm lending you the kid here for your security team."
Jim saw Kevin frowning when he heard how Gary talked about him. Honestly, diplomacy wasn't Mitchell's forte.
"I do not see the necessity of 'lending' personnel. We have an excellent Security department; we do not need another member, particularly one who has not finished his basic training."
"May I have a word, Captain Spock?" Kevin spoke with confidence.
"You may," Spock conceded.
"I'm doing my internship and I have one month left. My time with Captain Mitchell has been satisfactory; however, my main goal was to experience the field as I will on missions. The Enterprise is the best ship, sir. And I know that you probably think I'm not capable; but let me prove to you that I'm a competent member for your crew."
"Besides, you are down two members, Captain. If you keep going like this, you'll only have Jim on your team. The kid is remarkable, he's smart and he kicked my staff's ass a few times in training. If you're worried about the Admirals, I talked to Pike already and he approved. He even encouraged the decision."
Jim sensed the heated glared Spock was sending Mitchell. Although he was afraid Spock would demonstrate his Vulcan strength right there, he hardly could blame him. Gary was being a total jerk, and he totally ruined Kevin's argument.
"I see. While I do not appreciate your intrusive methods, Captain Mitchell, I must agree with Mister Riley on his need to experience missions. He probably did not have any noteworthy assignments during his stay on the USS Archimedes, as I understand it is presently being used as a cargo ship."
Jim was fighting hard to keep from laughing; Spock sure knew how to slap a bitch when it was necessary. Gary was furious, Jim could tell because he was rigid and clenching his fists. Bones was less tactful and just smirked.
"I'm finally seeing the funny side Jim keeps saying you have, Captain," Bones said cheerfully.
"Well, I'm sure we all are seeing a different side of you right now, Captain Spock," spat Gary. "First impressions can be deceiving."
"I concur," Spock said neutrally. "Commander Kirk, what is your opinion on the matter at hand?"
Kevin looked at Jim with pleading eyes. Jim knew that if he said he didn't agree, Spock would be on his side. Spock didn't know Kevin and was reluctant to have a Cadet on the ship. Above all, he wanted to defy Mitchell and this could be a great opportunity. Still, Bones' words echoed in his head. Kevin would feel betrayed, and Jim would feel guilty. Maybe it was best to leave the decision to Spock; Jim would just be honest.
"Well, we sure don't need another member on the team." Jim noticed how Kevin flinched. "But Pike approved already, and honestly, he can't be worse than Edwards. Giotto will be back in a week, maybe we can see how Riley performs and if he's good, we let him finish the internship here, and if he isn't we can send him back on Giotto's shuttle." Jim didn't said that since they didn't have any missions yet, maybe when Giotto got back Kevin would go on his own after seeing how the Enterprise was as boring as the Archimedes.
"I believe you are correct. Mister Riley, please prepare the documents necessary for your transfer to the USS Enterprise."
If Kevin could jump from happiness, he would have done it several times, Jim observed. He was smiling widely and Jim wondered when he'd last seen that smile in Kevin.
"Everything worked out, I see." Gary stood up, still blushing from Spock's previous remark. "Since I don't have any other business here, I'll take my leave. Kevin, let's go so you can gather your things and I sign your transfer."
"Yes, Captain." Kevin stood up eagerly.
"Jim, can we talk?" Gary's tone was tense.
Jim didn't want to discuss anything with Gary anymore. But he couldn't say no since he'd been rude before and Spock was watching them contemplatively.
"Okay, let's go. If you need anything, I have my communicator, Captain." Spock nodded, and Jim glanced at Bones, who looked thoughtful.
Jim followed Gary, wondering what he could possibly want to talk about. He'd already said he wasn't interested in the post, and had accepted Kevin onboard. Gary was walking faster, almost like he couldn't bear to be on the Enterprise anymore. Kevin was behind him, looking happy about his new assignment. Then he turned back to look at Jim.
"Thanks, Jim," he said too vehemently.
"I was honest, Kevin. You don't have to thank me." Jim was becoming more like Spock with each passing day. He only had to add the 'it's illogical' and then he would be exactly like him.
Kevin kept smiling until they arrived to the Transporter room. When they beamed down, Kevin went back to the Archimedes while he and Gary stood right where they were dropped.
"What do you want?" Jim asked with an edgy tone.
"Look, I don't want to part ways angry. You're my friend, if I offended you because I thought I was helping, well, I guess I apologize. But I don't like your Captain."
"I think the feeling is mutual, Gary." Jim relaxed. "I get that you were trying to do a nice thing, but you should know better than to meddle in other people's business. I bet that's why Komack punished you."
"Yeah, you know me," Gary smiled. "Still, take care. That guy is bad news; I don't want to see you get hurt."
Jim felt a small sense of déjà vu. It wasn't like he'd experienced something like this before, but those words… 'I don't want to see you get hurt'… he had heard them before. He was sure.
"I won't. I can take care of myself, but thanks for the concern."
"I know you can. But when you get attached to people, you forget to be careful. Main survival lesson, Jim: Never trust entirely. There's nobody in this life who you can depend on wholly. Not even your beloved Leonard McCoy or your dearest Captain Spock."
Jim wasn't really surprised to hear Gary say that. He knew that guy didn't even trust his own shadow. He firmly believed that people had a price and they could turn their backs on you at any given time; you couldn't trust because if you did, you lost. Gary's lessons for getting to the Admiralty: Don't rely on anyone. You can do it alone, and you don't need anybody. There was a time when Jim had thought like that too, right after Tarsus. He'd survived alone; if he'd dared to have faith that eventually somebody would help them, he would have died like the others. While he saw people dying because they were expecting help, he fought hard. Maybe that was the 'special' thing Kodos saw in him. His mother, his brother and two years of therapy hadn't changed his mind after the incident. It wasn't until Pike barged into his life that he had the courage to open up again.
And he didn't regret it.
"Thanks for the pep talk," Jim said mockingly. "Like I said, I can take care of myself."
"All right, I'll back off. Can I at least get a goodbye hug?" Gary moved towards Jim.
"Just one, I usually charge for these," he joked as Gary embraced him tightly.
Jim was backing away from Gary's hold when, unexpectedly, Gary put his hands on Jim's face and pulled him right to his lips. Jim, too stunned to stop him, went heavily until their lips met with a crash. Jim didn't open his mouth, even when Gary was seeking entrance in a rather forceful way. Finding his strength again, Jim pushed him with force, wiping his lips while Gary just looked smug.
"What the hell?" Jim heard someone saying behind him.
As he turned around, Jim's mind was repeating the same mantra: 'Please, don't let it be Spock, please, don't let it be Spock'. Of course he knew that the voice hadn't come from Spock, but from a surprised Bones, but if Spock was with him, Jim would kill Gary.
And just his luck, he saw Bones standing behind him with his arms crossed, and Spock looking almost distant.
"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this when I beamed down." Bones was sarcastic.
Jim thought of saying a lot of things. That Gary had forced him; that he didn't want it, and he was a professional who didn't get involved with other Captains; that he wasn't fraternizing with Mitchell; a lot of things, and yet he kept silent like his voice was suddenly gone.
"It was a pleasure, as always, Jimmy," Gary smiled, getting close to Jim again. "At least this way he knows you have someone to protect you," he whispered in Jim's ear, and walked away.
Jim hated his delayed reactions when people stunned him like Gary just did. He wanted to punch him and he wanted to make him tell Spock he was the one who pushed him. He kissed him by force, and Jim had honestly never thought he could say that and be entirely truthful. He always thought that people who cheated and said 'he/she kissed me against my will' was ridiculous. Nobody could kiss you against your will, you at least let the other person do it. Now he realized that it was in fact possible. He would have preferred to find out when there were no witnesses. Gary was long gone when Jim finally reacted, and he just blinked, trying to form a coherent sentence.
"What are you doing here?" There, coherent enough.
"Not that it's any of your business, Jimbo, but I wanted to see the coffee place everyone kept talking about. And the Captain is meeting Uhura."
Uhura? Well, Jim felt less guilty then. Not that there was anything to feel guilty about. He was single, Gary was single, they were both adults, he didn't need Spock's permission to go around kissing whoever he wanted. It wasn't like Spock had asked him for permission to get back with Uhura. Now he regretted not responding Gary's kiss. He could have put a hell of a show for Spock.
Why was he so upset about this? Spock was his friend; nothing more. He'd better stop this letting the other memories bit you in the ass thing he had going on right now.
If Spock moved any facial muscle it would help too.
"I'll go with you, Bones," Jim said quickly. He couldn't stand being in front of Spock anymore.
"Fine, but you're buying," Bones scowled.
"Right, let's go."
If Bones was curious about Jim's rush, he didn't say it… right away. They nodded respectfully at Spock, who still hadn't moved a single facial muscle and Jim feared that meant he would choke a bitch later. Well, he didn't have any logical reason to do it, Jim just had to clear the air and let him know he didn't exchange any information with Mitchell.
Jim could at least have taken advantage of that and slept with Gary. He was becoming… Bones. That was scary. Bones hadn't sleep with anyone since his divorce; Jim had once thought he was gay. Bones didn't appreciate it when he set him up with one of their male classmates.
So Spock thought he was a slut who slept with whoever talked nicely to him, and he didn't even get to have sex to earn the reputation. This sucked.