Chapter 3F: "Requiéscat in pace"

Spock was uneasy about the events that were unfolding. He was still considering what the best option was given that Commander Kirk said he would sign his transfer if Spock requested it. Logically then, if Spock did not request it, Mister Kirk would continue serving on the Enterprise. Yet having Kirk with this new attitude was not exactly Spock's ideal choice.

He was surprised when he saw Kirk looking completely subdued; he apologized and asked if he could talk to Spock in his quarters. Spock knew that whatever the Commander had to say, it must be extremely personal for him to request they move from their current location into a more private one. After his conversation with Kirk the day before, Spock was not sure if he could handle things if Mister Kirk hinted at his promotion again.

The last thing Spock expected to be mentioned was Tarsus IV. If the Commander wanted to discern his knowledge on the subject it was reasonable to assume he was involved in some way. Spock wished he was wrong in his conclusions, though, and this was just another way for Kirk to change the subject, as crude as it was.

"I have." Spock thought it prudent to just answer the Commander's question and let him handle the rest.

"What have you heard about it?"

Spock lifted his eyebrow. He only knew what books said about it, there were a few theses about the subject and generally speaking the topic was still something of a taboo.

"It was one of the largest massacres of the last fifty years; somehow even when help was sent to the colony, they arrived too late to save half of the population who were sacrificed in order to –"

"Okay, you heard enough," interrupted the Commander, looking uneasy. Spock noticed how Kirk took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. "I was one of the survivors of Tarsus."

Spock blinked. Then he tilted his head, and blinked again. He was speechless at the moment because even when he had already concluded that Commander Kirk's line of questioning would lead to this, it was still unexpected to hear it confirmed. Spock recalled all that he had read about Tarsus; the list of survivors was secured strongly to prevent causing any more pain to them.

"I was under the impression you lived on Earth," Spock said slowly, still thinking about what to say next when the Commander answered his query.

"I did. I was sent to Tarsus with some relatives for the summer. You wouldn't believe what starving people do to survive. I was lucky enough to witness everything from the front row." Spock noticed how the Commander smiled bitterly.

"I assume the last part of your assertion was sarcastic." Spock blinked again. It was unnerving to hear Kirk talking like that, however he knew the Commander used sarcasm as a defensive mechanism when he was talking about subjects he found upsetting. "If you were sent there… your family…" Spock did not know how to ask this without sounding insensitive.

"My mother thought it was best to send me there," interrupted Kirk. "She had her reasons, okay? That's not the point. I was on Tarsus… and so was Kevin."

Spock blinked once more, connecting the dots. That was the reason why Mister Kirk was so overprotective with Mister Riley. Everything made more sense now, and Spock understood the reasoning behind Kirk's attitude lately.

"I see." Spock had no experience of what he was supposed to say in these situations. In Vulcan it was polite to acknowledge a loss, but then there was no emotional component to the event. In this case, with Mister Kirk being more emotional than rational, Spock was unsure of what he should do. Should he ask more questions to see if Mister Kirk wanted to talk about it? Should he act like this was not a troubling subject? Should he hug the Commander? Spock had made his opinions about personal space clear since the beginning, although there were special circumstances that could override his Vulcan heritage. Humans needed physical comfort, and right now the only one available to provide it was Spock. If he commed Doctor McCoy it could be seen as rude and tactless; Spock was willing to give Kirk something he considered extremely personal and private if that could make the Commander feel better.

The fact that he was more concerned about the Commander's wellbeing than his own discomfort was, at this point, trivial.

Kirk gave no sign whatsoever of wanting physical comfort; Spock then wondered if he should say something or if he should to wait until the Commander spoke.

"I'm glad to see that you are as eloquent as the others I've told so far. They all react the same, with pity and sorrow."

"I apologize, I did not –"

"It's okay Captain, I get it. I know I should have told you that I was emotionally compromised about having Kevin here. We… I… I did very bad things to survive; I'm ashamed of them, but I don't regret them. I feel like my personal worth lowered even more after Tarsus, but hey, at least I'm alive, right? I'm a completely worthless piece of shit, but I'm still alive."

"Commander –" Emotions were not Spock's strong suit, but he knew that he had to say something to assure Kirk that he was wrong and that he should not be ashamed of what had happened.

"I don't need a pep talk, Captain." Mister Kirk must have noticed his uneasiness and that made Spock feel even more uncomfortable. He was supposed to conceal his feelings better. "I just wanted you to know why I acted like a complete lunatic. I made sure Kevin survived, Captain. I made that my personal goal. At least one of us could have a normal, happy and boring life. Yet Kevin chose this. I know he wanted it but I feel like it's my fault because I let him. I let him serve here, I let him go to the mines, I let him stay when I ordered him otherwise and I let him die…" Spock noticed that Kirk was fighting back tears. He did not know exactly where the impulse came from, but he stood up and grabbed the nearest chair, putting it in front of the Commander. He sat down, and put his hand on Kirk's shoulder.

"I grieve with thee," he said.

Kirk glanced at Spock's hand, smiling resignedly. He nodded, and they stayed like that for a few minutes. Spock appreciated silence when humans tended to feel adverse to it, however in that moment Spock knew they both were benefiting from it.

"I don't talk about it, Captain. I didn't say anything for two years to the stupid shrinks my mother kept sending me. I didn't say anything to the counselor in the Academy, and I didn't say anything to Bones when he grilled me with questions. What I lived through there is something for me to carry, and no one else; Kevin was different from me. He shared everything with whoever wanted to listen to the sad story about the poor survivors. He shared the burden, and maybe it worked for him, but he didn't have to do half of the things I had. I gave up everything on Tarsus, Captain; my morals, my pride, my personal value… hell, the only thing I always had was the need to save others who were completely innocent. I probably deserved what happened to me, but they didn't. They deserved another chance, and if I could give it to them, at least it counted for something, right?"

Spock was again feeling at loss of words. It was incredible hearing Commander Kirk sounding defeated and resigned, and even when he knew it was a complete violation of Kirk's boundaries, he lowered his shields and felt something he did not expect: shame. Kirk was ashamed of everything he had to do to survive, while Spock could not feel something else but pride and respect. This man was important and it was perplexing seeing how he was the first who denied this. The way Kirk chastised himself for what he went through and it was not his fault pained Spock.

"You do not have to carry this alone anymore." Spock was surprised of his own voice. It sounded strong and demanding. "If Doctor McCoy cannot help you, I am willing to assist you in any way I can."

Kirk lifted an eyebrow at him; Spock thought how Kirk always complained about Spock doing the same thing and he never noticed that he also shared this trait. Kirk said that in Spock was scarier.

"Um… that's unexpected." Kirk sounded amused and Spock felt a little better at hearing it. "If I need to 'share' this with someone, you will be the second on my list. Bones gets the number one spot though, he was here first."

Even when he knew Kirk was joking, it bothered Spock. Of course McCoy would be Kirk's first option.

"And that's why I acted like a jerk," Kirk said after Spock retrieved his hand from the Commander's shoulder when he heard that Kirk preferred McCoy. It was an illogical reaction but he could not help it. "It's not a justification; I wanted to explain my reasons. I know I said things… bad things, and I generally made everyone hate me, but it's what I do. I screw things up before I think about it. At least I have the consolation of knowing that I can be Miss Starfleet."

Spock lifted his eyebrow again. He did not know that Kirk was aware of the crude and disrespectful 'prank' Doctor McCoy had pulled two days ago.

"I made clear for the crew members about this subject, Commander. I also ensured that Doctor McCoy does not repeat this kind of 'joke'. If you like you can add a reprimand to the file of the Doctor or you can give the reprimand you feel sufficient."

Mister Kirk laughed. He actually laughed and perhaps Spock should not be so content to see it, but he was. He felt like he was getting back the Commander he wanted on his ship. He also wondered how Kirk could trust McCoy when the human did such horrible and impolite things justifying it as 'friendship'.

"That won't be necessary, Captain. Bones just wanted to help me." On top of that, Kirk defended McCoy. Spock did not understand how McCoy and Kirk's bond worked.

"I fail to see how sending… that incredibly dreadful edited picture of a superior officer would be of any assistance."

"Um… actually… it was me. He kind of dressed me up and took the pictures. It's a human thing, Captain, you shouldn't worry about it too much."

It was even worse than Spock had thought. He had initially believed that Doctor McCoy edited one of the many pictures he must possess of Mister Kirk; now Spock realized the effort the good doctor had put into his prank, as pointless and impertinent as it was. If McCoy applied that degree of effort to becoming more polite and well-behaved he could be a fine member of the crew. It surprised Spock seeing how humans responded to these particular situations; even Nyota, who was always in control and very respectful, acted with violence without controlling her irritation and sadness for the events that unfolded after the mission. Perhaps Spock should learn that if he confided in Nyota, she always would take her side as much as Doctor McCoy took Mister Kirk's side most of the time. It was difficult for humans to separate their friendship bond from the work environment. However Spock suspected that this particular development was what made the Enterprise so successful.

Spock was aware that even though Kirk seemed less tense, he was still calling him 'Captain'. He knew that it was appropriate, and Kirk did not say it mockingly, but every time Kirk called him 'Captain' Spock felt almost like there was a barrier between them, and he did not like it. There was also the topic of Kirk's departure. Spock did not know if it was wise to approach it at the moment, since they had reached a common ground and broaching the topic could be detrimental to what he had already gained with the Commander. Kirk trusted him with personal information, he could at least reciprocate and wait until Kirk decided it was a good time to discuss it.

"Kevin was a good guy," Kirk said suddenly.

"I am sure he was an exceptional being."

"He was, he really was. And even though I was going to ask for your permission to go to his memorial, it's not necessary for the Enterprise to divert its route just for that. I can go on one of the shuttles."

It was true that as soon as Spock knew about the memorial service for the lost service members in the last month, he ordered a course change since their former mission was only to transport material to a closer planet and the USS Archimedes, which was close by, could handle it. However, this was not the reason for his decision; the Admiralty always reviewed the general function of the ships, generally every year. Spock thought it prudent to return now that they had reached six months in the service and demonstrate to the Admirals that they were performing at the expected level and there were no problems in the chain of command such as they had anticipated.

It was fortunate, then, that he convinced Admiral Archer of this and that the memorial service was held on a date when they would be on Earth. Fortunate indeed.

"I am afraid that it is necessary, Commander. The Admiralty requested the revision."

"Are you sure?" Kirk frowned. "They only do it every year. They're lazy like that."

"I am quite sure."

"Even when we are almost seven months into the mission?"

"Indeed."

"And they could wait five months to do it annually."

"I do not question the Admiralty's decisions, Commander."

Kirk smirked, and Spock lifted his eyebrow.

"Okay then, never mind. Uh… Captain…" Kirk pushed his feet to move his chair a little further back. Spock realized they had not moved from the position they had been in when he was trying to give physical comfort. "I…"

Kirk's personal terminal started buzzing, and Spock stood up to give him some privacy.

"No." Kirk put his hand on Spock's arm. "Please, stay."

Spock nodded and Kirk retrieved his hand quickly, muttering 'sorry'. Perhaps he assumed that Spock had been uncomfortable with his touch. He had not. In fact he had felt a small buzz in his head and a strange feeling in his arm, but he dismissed it. If he kept thinking about the irrational reactions he had where Commander Kirk was concerned, he would have to meditate for days. He decided to accept this as one of the inconveniences of working with humans.

When the Commander turned his terminal on, the image of a woman appeared in front of them.

"Jim!" the woman said with certain apprehensiveness.

"Mom…"

Spock glanced again at the woman. He had seen Winona Kirk in papers and old data, but this woman looked entirely different.

"Sam told me about Kevin," she said sadly. "How are you?"

"Considering that it happened almost a month back, I think I'm pretty much okay."

Spock sensed bitterness in the Commander's tone. Maybe he was misinterpreting things.

"I'm sorry I haven't called, I was busy. You didn't call me."

"I didn't call Sam either and yet he found out."

"Don't start, Jim. I know it's hard, Kevin was like your brother."

"This is Captain Spock," Kirk said suddenly, glancing at him.

"I am pleased to meet you," Spock said politely, sensing that the Commander was using him to break the tension that was boiling between the two of them.

Winona Kirk lifted her right hand, doing the ta'al with a smile. Spock was surprised; he did not know that she was familiar with Vulcan culture. Spock reciprocated.

"Nice to meet you too, Captain Spock," she said. "There's going to be a memorial, right?"

"Yes, in five days. Are you going?"

"I would like to, but I can't."

"Let me guess, your wonderful husband didn't give you permission."

"I hardly think this is a good time to discuss it." She looked at Spock nervously. "Live long and prosper, Captain Spock. Jim, I'll call you soon."

"Yeah, right. Bye mom."

Before Spock could say anything, Kirk ended the call. Somehow Spock felt that he had just witnessed something extremely private, even more so than what Kirk had shared about Tarsus.

"Sorry about that, Captain," Kirk said. "We Kirks don't deal well with loss."

"I did not know that your mother had knowledge of Vulcan culture." Spock thought that approaching the subject in a neutral way could make the Commander less uneasy about what had just happened.

"She was trained as a diplomat to establish contact with other cultures. I just hate the guy she's married to. Still, it's her life. I guess if your father marries again you'll understand the feeling." Commander Kirk went pale, like he'd said something appalling, and put his hands on his mouth. "Shit! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, I wasn't thinking."

"I did not feel affronted by your comment; I would indeed feel uncomfortable if my father decided to bond with another person." Although Spock had already considered this, given that his father would live for many years and being without a bond could be detrimental to his health. However, echoing his father's words, Spock had the impression his father would remain bondless for the rest of his life, as after all he had found love in his mother. It was unlikely he would find that in another being when his other half was already lost. Spock hoped that he would be as lucky as his father, and would get to experience love as well.

"I guess you don't mind my weird thoughts then, Captain," Kirk smiled "but I asked you to stay for a reason. I was… I… talked with… Lilly." Spock noticed the emphasis Kirk put on the plant's name; Mister Sulu had probably already threatened him. Spock did not agree with Mister Sulu's argument, yet he would hardly meddle in the rules of parenthood the Lieutenant had established. "And I kind… I want to talk to Amanda."

Spock tilted his head. It would be difficult for Kirk to talk with the baby since she was still far too small to form sentences or even understand them.

"Well, not talk exactly." Kirk must have guessed what Spock thought. "But see her… I was wondering if we could call Betazoid and see how she's doing."

"I have no objections; would you like to make the call now?"

"Yes, but I… well… I wanted to ask you a favor. I wanted to see if you could stay with me. You were the one connecting with her in her mind… maybe she won't recognize me anymore and if she sees you, maybe she will feel better."

"It would be highly implausible for the baby to remember one person over the other, especially the one who does not have a bond with her. However, I will stay."

As Spock watched Kirk interacting with the baby through the screen, he felt something warm in his chest; a sense of rightness.

Jim felt much better after talking to Spock. To his surprise, he didn't hint at anything Jim said before. He felt like he could count on Spock in anything; it was a nice feeling. The crew were leaving their apprehensive state and acting normally, jokes were even back on the Bridge. It was like Jim had the fortune to get back something he had lost.

He suggested to Spock that they have a short shore leave on Earth, and to his surprise, Spock agreed. Jim had thought that even though Spock seemed okay about what happened, he would be more reserved about the suggestions Jim could make.

Spock wasn't, and Jim was grateful for that. It was almost like nothing happened. Almost…

When they finally reached Earth, everyone beamed down happily, probably thinking about what they would do during the next two days of shore leave. Jim knew it would be asking too much to expect them to interrupt their leave to go to the memorial, so he didn't say anything to the others. They deserved the small rest, and Jim was the one closest to Riley. He shouldn't even expect Bones to come with him, he had only two days to enjoy Joanna; it would be selfish of Jim to ask him to accompany him to the memorial.

Jim would say goodbye to Kevin like he had met him in the first place. Alone.

"Are you sure, Jim?" Bones kept looking at him with uncertainty.

"Yes, come on, you had a hard time convincing Jocelyn, enjoy Joanna."

"I could see her today and tomorrow I could go with you…"

"I'll be fine, Bones. Give Joanna my best, okay?"

Bones looked warily at Jim, but he nodded anyway.

"Where are you staying?" Bones asked doubtfully.

"I'll rent a motel room somewhere nearby. Stop worrying about me and go be with your daughter already."

"Fine, fine… call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Sure."

"I mean it Jim. Call me."

"I know, I know."

Jim noticed that Spock had heard the entire conversation and kept silent. Well, Jim was requested today for the briefing, so he would be free tomorrow to go to the memorial. Maybe that was Spock's doing, and he was grateful, but he wouldn't cross the line and ask Spock if he wanted to share a room. That would be weird, even by his standards.

He beamed down, and looked at the Academy with sorrow. It was stupid, but Jim felt like Starfleet was cursed for the Kirks. Even if Kevin wasn't technically a member of the family, Jim thought of him as one. Yes, Kirks had their share of misery when they entered Starfleet.

When Jim entered Pike's office, he was expecting the entire Admiralty giving him the evil eye. He frowned when Pike was the only one there, and he didn't look entirely evil.

"Admiral." Jim nodded respectfully.

"Commander," Pike said solemnly.

There was a tense silence between them.

"Come here, son." Pike smiled sadly and was all that Jim needed. He saw how Pike stood up with the help of a pair of crutches and Jim hugged him tightly. He still thought Pike was an asshole, but at this point, who wasn't?

"You can walk," Jim said.

"You didn't expect me to be in that damn chair forever, did you?"

"Well, it crossed my mind," Jim smiled. "Where's the rest of the inquisition?"

"I thought you would prefer to give me the briefing instead of facing Komack. Although I don't know what you possibly can have to report. We already know everything."

"Spock said that Archer requested us."

"What? Oh, right… Archer. Yes, he requested you… um… but since I know you, I don't need your briefing, Kirk."

Jim sighed. Spock was catching up on lying very quickly.

"So, Spock made us came all the way here because it's Kevin's memorial, right?"

"I can't confirm that, Kirk. It's classified information." Pike smiled weakly. "Just be grateful, kid."

"I am. Tell me, how lame this service is going to be?"

"Komack will say a few words…"

"You could have at least prevented that," Jim sighed.

"Kirk, how are you feeling?"

Jim knew Pike was worried. He acted like the father he never had and Jim couldn't complain. It was nice to have someone who cared for you.

"I'll be okay. You?"

"I'll be okay," Pike repeated.

They would be fine then.

Jim woke up with the sensation of a void in the pit of his stomach. He had prepared himself for this day, but he was still feeling edgy about it. Maybe it was because Pike got him drunk yesterday and he had no clue about how he ended up in a hotel room that he had no memory of checking in to. It was best to get this over with and move on once and for all.

He walked slowly, entering the Academy grounds with a resigned look. As he stood in front of the memorial wall, and saw Kevin's name there, Jim felt surreal. Like he was in a nightmare and would wake up anytime soon.

This time, however, the nightmare would last forever.

Jim didn't know how long he spent staring at Kevin's name, but when he heard Komack calling everyone to the grounds to start the memorial, he shook his head. It was time.

He almost had a heart attack when he turned around and saw Spock standing at a prudent enough distance to let him mourn but close enough to bump into him if he took two more steps.

"God! Spock! I mean, Captain… what can I do for you?"

"I thought we could keep each other company during the memorial service," Spock said, completely neutral.

"What? I thought you had a meeting with the Admiralty."

"It was delayed; Admiral Komack is leading the memorial service."

"Well, you have better things to do than go to a depressing memorial service, Captain. Your presence isn't necessary."

"I am attending even if you prefer that we sit apart. Mister Riley was a member of my crew, Mister Kirk." Even though Spock said it neutrally, Jim felt like a jerk. Right, he wasn't the only one who cared for Kevin. Spock was in charge of every crewmember on the Enterprise; it must be hard to face the loss of one of them.

"I know; I'm sorry Captain. Sure, we can sit together."

As they approached the grounds, he was aware of the presence of a few Enterprise crewmembers. Good, they had made time even when Jim didn't ask for it. He was getting glimpses of very familiar faces, like Chapel and Rand, but Jim almost fell over backwards when he saw Uhura, Scotty, Chekov and Sulu sitting in the second row. Bones was there too, with Joanna in his arms.

"You didn't really expect me to leave you alone, right?" Bones smiled gently. "We care, Jim."

Jim didn't trust himself to make any sort of sense right now; he just nodded and tried to fight back tears, again. It was the first time Jim had belonged anywhere; he felt the support, the company, the affection…

He wasn't alone anymore.

Spock observed the Commander carefully during the Memorial service. He cried and tried to dissimulate by saying it was dust in his eye. Spock let him think he believed it, although he was familiar with that excuse as his mother had used it often. She said it was caused by sand, though, since Vulcan was a desert. He realized that Commander Kirk had actually thought no member of the Enterprise would be attending the memorial. They had come not only for the memory of Mister Riley, but also to show their emotional support to Kirk. Even when Kirk was overemotional, he seemed to think he was the only one and that no other being around him was concerned about what could happen to him.

He seemed to think that nobody would notice if he was hurt, and Spock was bothered by the realization.

Spock was approached by Admiral Komack at the end of the service, and Kirk excused himself to allow them privacy. He just wanted to confirm the time for Spock's briefing, and as soon as Komack dismissed him, he glanced in Kirk's direction. He was with McCoy already. Somehow Spock did not like the way Kirk always seemed to look for consolation in the good doctor, even though it was logical and he had absolutely no rational motive for this discomfort. He strolled towards them.

"… and you should know better." McCoy sounded like he was scolding Kirk.

"I know. I can't believe you brought Joannie here!"

"She spent most of the time sleeping, it wasn't a big deal."

Instead of interrupting, Spock walked directly to the Admiralty briefing room. He was not required for thirty point three more minutes, however he did not want to intrude on Kirk's conversation and did not feel that he would enjoy sharing the Commander's attention with McCoy, who often made strange remarks that Spock did not understand.

When he arrived, he saw Admiral Pike already sitting in his customary place.

"Spock! I've been expecting you."

"Sir?" Spock was not aware that he had an earlier appointment with the Admiral.

"I knew you were getting here early, I decided to wait. I have to talk to you before the Admirals start with the briefing."

That did not sound good. Spock tried to recall whether he had done something that could be labeled as insubordinate. He had nothing.

"What can I do for you, Admiral?" Spock decided to let Pike 'speak his mind' as humans would say.

Pike looked at Spock with a serious expression that made Spock wary.

"Spock, I wanted to warn you about Mitchell."

"I beg your pardon?" Spock was at loss as to what Captain Mitchell had to do with the briefing.

"I don't know what his agenda is, but let me tell you, it's nothing good. I'm afraid he's planning something big. He could drag Jim into it."

"I am afraid I do not understand. If you are concerned about Captain Mitchell, should you not investigate him further?"

"It's not like Mitchell is bragging about it. I just know he's up to something. You know what ship was first assigned to help the Pegasus?"

"Given the topic of conversation, I daresay it was the USS Archimedes." Spock tried to make sense of this new information. Mitchell was insistent on taking Kirk, and he transferred Riley to the Enterprise. However, his motivations were unclear so far. How could Mitchell have known that the mine walls were weak and that the Pegasus crew had damaged them enough to cause the tragedy?

"That's right. Mitchell said he couldn't do it and he used a stupid excuse… he suggested we send the Enterprise. I don't know what he plans, Spock, but watch out. We are keeping him under surveillance, but so far we have nothing on him. Keep your distance for him, he's looking for trouble."

Spock did not need to be told twice. He would meditate about this, and he would try to find the connection between the recent events to discover Mitchell's hidden intentions.

Everyone was beaming aboard after the shore leave. It was satisfying to hear the Admiralty say that they were doing a 'fine job' and performing even better than expected. As Spock entered the turbolift, he saw Mister Kirk already heading to the Bridge.

"Good afternoon, Commander."

"Good afternoon, Captain."

They were silent for a brief moment and Spock wondered if leaving things unsaid was the best course of action. So far Spock had acted normally and it was working. The Commander felt comfortable and he was acting more like himself than he had for the last month; but they still had not discussed anything that happened during Mister Kirk's grieving. Perhaps Spock should say something, but when he was about to speak, Kirk cleared his throat.

"Captain… I wanted to thank you for everything you did. I'm really grateful for being able to serve under your command. You are an exceptional Captain."

Spock did not know exactly what motivated Kirk's speech, but he felt something in his chest at hearing it. And he should also remind Kirk of his true value. He should tell him not to go away, that the Enterprise needed him… that he needed him… as his first. He should tell him.

"Mister Kirk, I would not be adverse to you calling me by my given name. I noticed that you have ceased doing so and I wanted to assure you that I do not mind." He could not tell him that. Not yet. He had to change things so Kirk would not even consider going to the USS Pegasus in the future. And for that, Spock would have to work hard. He would tell Kirk when they reached a new stage in their friendship. It seemed like they had to start over.

"Oh… okay, but then you have to do the same with me. You have to call me Jim."

Spock would not do any such thing, but he nodded instead of voicing his thoughts. It did not hurt the Commander to feel more comfortable; Spock had different responsibilities, however. Perhaps in the future, when they were of the same rank, he could call him Jim.

He would look forward to it.

A/N: Happy New Year! I wish you the best to all of you, thank you so much for your amazing comments and thoughts; as always, especial thanks to my amazing beta, Anbessette, who I hope still sticks with me in this year, and thank you Darkgirl5 for lending me a hand in this chapter too, you're wonderful!