Chapter Three: Departure
The horses were readied and the supplies had been loaded. Swiftly moving through the villa, I made sure that we weren't forgetting anything, for we would never be returning to this villa. We either succeeded in our cause, creating a new life, or we would fall in our pursuit of it. I was most eager to leave. I'd never been more ready to leave. I'd spoken only when I must; making sure everyone was gathered at the back of the villa. We would go through the back and into the woods that surrounded the city.
"We leave within the hour." I called to those who had already gathered.
"Lea." Caius said following me as I walked.
"Not now." I told him.
"Then when?" He asked gripping my arm. "I need you to listen to me."
"What?" I asked him coldly.
"What if this is a mistake? What if your messenger was compromised?"
"It's a risk I'm willing to take." I told him. "This is what I've been waiting for. I am going no matter what you say. If the others choose to follow me then so be it. If not then they can remain here."
"Perhaps I should stay behind and watch over them." He stated coldly.
He wanted me to ask him to come. To prove something to him that he was a fool to believe. "That is your decision." I told him before walking away.
"Wait." He said gripping my arm again. "Forgive me. I am out of line."
"Yes." I stated.
"You know I will follow you." He added.
"Yes." I repeated. He still looked as if he were wounded. "I'm going home, Caius. Nothing you say or do will stop me."
"I know." He nodded.
"Then let's move out." I told him.
Silence fell between Caius and me as we mounted and led our people from the villa, never to return again. We were both at the head of the company, keeping wary eyes in every direction that we could, Lucius and Otho at the rear, making sure nothing surprised us from behind. It wasn't surprising that we were met with no interruptions or unwanted soldiers; they had yet to take the Rebels as seriously as they should. Spartacus was a force to be reckoned with. It would be too late when they realized that. We moved at a steady pace, heading south to a villa that Spartacus and his men were said to be currently occupying. I could only hope that they were still there when we arrived. We would be there in just a matter of days if all went well, keeping well into the wood to keep hidden from those who might try and stop us.
"You need to speak with him." Antonia told me as we rode next to each other.
"What is there left to say?" I frowned at him.
"Make amends." She smiled.
"No." I told her. "I cannot reciprocate the feelings he has for me. I am in love with another. Caius is a wonderful man and I care for him deeply but there is no love in my heart for him."
"You do love him." She smiled. "Just not in the same way."
"Fine." I told her, rolling my eyes. "I do love him, but you speak the truth, not in the same way. He has become a very good friend. However, I wish nothing more than friendship with him."
"And he wishes otherwise?" She asked, her eyes falling upon the man of interest.
Finally understanding what was happening; I smiled at her, "I think he does. But perhaps it's just because he hasn't found something he favors more yet."
"Is there better than you?" She smirked.
"Your flattery is unfounded and unwanted." I told her firmly.
"Apologies." She said and averted her eyes.
"I've never thought highly of myself. I was a slave all my life until Caius entered it." I told her. "He may have freed me but the way I see myself has never changed."
"You are like no one I've ever met." She stated with a sense of awe.
"I am nothing of worth, Antonia." I frowned at her. "I wish everyone would see that. It brings me no joy to have anyone following me expecting great things."
"You are the reason we are all free to make such a choice." She stated softly. I continued to frown at her. "You have given us hope and a reason to fight against the Romans. We were held in servitude and you gave us freedom. That is something that no one can repay you for."
"There is no repayment needed." I told her with a deep frown on my face. "I only wish to be reunited with Varro and the rest of my family."
"And to fight." Felix interrupted, appearing on my other side.
"And to fight." I nodded. "Whatever Spartacus needs."
"Will you tell us about him?" Vita, the last slave girl I'd freed from the brothel asked from a small group who were walking alongside the horses.
She had recovered well from her injuries. She was one of the youngest we had among us. Her long dark brown hair hung in waves down her back and over her shoulders. Her eyes were hazel, clear, and inquisitive. She reminded me of myself when I was young. Only she was able to be herself, growing with every experience, learning from choices she made of her own accord. Smiling at her, I nodded, deciding where to start. They were already aware of how he came to be a slave and of his accomplishments in the arena. What they really wanted to know was of Spartacus the man, not the gladiator. They wanted to know what lies in his heart. Telling them of his compassion, of the love he carried with him, they were avid listeners. I told them of his kindness and the gentleness of his voice when he spoke. Also the hardness of it and the conviction he held when he spoke of things he believed in, or was defending something he cared for. We all knew he was an amazing fighter, but he was as equally amazing in everything he did. He was everything we needed to lead us into whatever end we met. He would be the one to raise us from perdition and lead us to a place where we could live out our days in peace, able to make a life for ourselves. Lastly, I told them of his loss, wanting them to know where he was coming from. It wasn't that he was captured and made slave, it was the capture of his wife and her untimely death that sprung Spartacus into action. She and she alone still held all of him. He would never feel for another the way he felt for her. She meant everything to him. I understood the feeling, though I wasn't nearly as eager to tell them about my own path, though it seemed as if they knew I was holding something back.
"He sounds amazing." Vita smiled.
"He is beyond amazing." I smiled back. "Every man should strive to be as he is."
"There are rumors that you seek a love that resides with the mighty Spartacus." A woman, whose name eluded me, spoke.
"What do the rumors say?" I asked.
"That every step you've taken has been to be reunited with him." She replied. "That the love you feel for him is untouchable and pure."
"I'm not sure how pure it is." I grinned, a blush rising in my cheeks. "But the rest is true. The man I seek is not only the love of my life but he is also the closest friend to Spartacus himself. However if my only plan was to be reunited with him I wouldn't have stayed as long as I have. I wouldn't have given a second thought to freeing anyone if I thought only of my personal feelings."
"Why did you stay then?" Another, a man I didn't know by name, asked.
"Because I believe in the cause that Spartacus started. After what happened to me I cannot stomach another slave being used as chattels. Being sold and being forced upon without a seconds pause. I believe in the man who saved me. I would not be here today if it weren't for Caius Laelius Sulla. I owe him everything and I only wish to share the feeling of freedom that he so willingly bestowed upon me." I replied with fondness.
All looked at me with soft smiles on their faces. Feeling my cheeks burn with another blush, I couldn't meet anyone's eyes, not even Antonia's or Felix's who'd known Caius and I the longest. Then there was soft murmuring when Caius appeared next to me, a smile on his face. Smiling at him, he reached his hand out. Not hesitating to take it, we shared a moment before we finally focused once more on the journey ahead of us. It was the amends that Antonia had wanted me to make. I may seem cold to him at times but everything I said was true and I believed it with all of me.
Stopping to rest at the first villa we came to, Otho and Lucius scouted ahead only to come back to inform us that the villa had been raided and was now unoccupied. Quickly moving everything through the gates, we shut them, making sure they were secure before starting to relax for the night. It was quiet, able to hear everything around us. I wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse, however stopping and being able to relax was a welcome feeling.
"How do you fare?" Caius asked as we took the bed of the former masters of the house, opening blankets across the mattress.
"I'm tired." I told him. "But I am well." I added with a smile. "I'm relieved to finally be moving. We're one step closer to him. To them. My body feels like it's on fire with excitement and anticipation." He smiled but didn't say anything. "I'm happy you're here, Caius." I told him softly. "It really does mean the world to me."
"I made you a promise." He smiled.
"What are you going to do when we find them?" I asked him. "Are you going to stay?"
"I haven't decided yet." He replied honestly.
"Will you let me know when you do?" I asked with a sad tone. "I don't want you to surprise me with this kind of decision."
He straightened and looked at me. "Of course." He finally told me. "I've only ever been honest with you."
Smiling, I stepped around the bed, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You've become one of my closest friends. I couldn't do this without you, nor do I want to."
"You'll think differently when you're back in Varro's arms." He said hugging me tightly.
"It will be different." I admitted letting him go. "But you are the reason I'm standing here today. Nothing can replace that."
Smiling, he put his hand against my cheek. Leaning into his touch I smiled back at him, though in the next moment Varro's face flashed in my mind, his blond curls, blue eyes, and his half smile that made my knees weak and all the right parts tingle for him. The memory made me frown and gently move his hand away from me. I missed Varro. I missed him more than I've ever missed anything.
"You'll be with him soon." Caius said taking my face in both his hands. "You will feel his touch and the taste of his lips. You will be happy and whole again." Nodding at him, I smiled, wrapping my arms around him, resting my head against his chest, letting him comfort me.
Sleeping little that night, I was up long before the sun, walking among the people who I was now the guardian of. I hadn't asked for this. All I wanted was to be reunited with Varro and yet I couldn't turn away from those who were the same as me. All these people had experienced different versions of what I had. They all looked to me for answers that even I didn't have. I was simply a slave who had a mind of her own. A slave who fell in love with a gladiator only to be torn from each other's arms. Standing on the entrance steps, I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing my arm to keep away the morning chill. Soon there were footsteps as Otho appeared at my side.
"Cannot sleep?" He asked softly.
"No." I said shaking my head. "I am too eager to finally find them."
"Perhaps today is the day." He smiled down at me.
Looking up at him, I smiled, "And you can begin to spill the blood you so desperately crave."
"It is not just I who craves blood." He stated. "I sense even you would not hesitate to spill Roman blood."
"There are but two that are immune." I stated.
"Still plenty to go around." He smirked and rolled his shoulders.
Laughing lightly, we both turned and started to wake the house, the suns light starting to reach the horizon. Eating quickly, we were soon on the road. Keeping a moderate pace we moved on to the next villa, finding it in the same shape as the one we left, though the smell of burned flesh still lingered in the air from the pile of dead Romans. Stopping only to rest and drink, we were moving on to the next villa, hoping it was the one Spartacus and the others were hiding in. Only the next villa was empty, except for the bodies. Keeping everyone moving we came across a stream in the wood, stopping to let everyone rest and drink their fill, restocking our water supply in the process.
"We're getting closer, I can feel it." Lucius told me, squatting next to me as I refilled a canteen, looking out into the wood. "If they stayed a night at each villa we're closing the gap."
"And if they didn't?" I asked. He didn't say anything. "They are mainly gladiators. They're tolerance is much higher than the average slaves."
"Do you not think that he has freed the slaves of each villa he's taken?" He asked gently.
Smiling, I nodded at him. "I believe that he would."
"Then he may have more gladiators but I'm sure he has his fair share of house slaves as well." He added.
"Gratitude." I said standing, my eyes moving slowly across the wood.
"Otho and I were going to scout ahead, make sure the road is clear." He stated.
"May I accompany you?" I asked, feeling the need to be active.
"Of course." He smiled.
Learning much from my gladiator friend, I started to enjoy being on the run. Lucius had the patience to teach me many things, from tracking in the woods, to scouting, to hand to hand combat and the proper use of a sword. He taught me while everyone else rested and slept. Unable to rest myself I needed something to take my mind off of things. I needed a release. Needed something to wear me out so I could find a few hours rest before I woke everyone and moved out again. Caius didn't approve of my nightly antics with the gladiator but he never said anything. In my mind it would be smarter to know how to fight then be caught without a way to defend myself. I already knew the basics but Lucius helped refine it, making me capable of taking down a man even his size. All the while I was reminded how I was to never use these skills unless I had to. Apparently it was a common concern among us that the women be protected. I however was not going to stand for it. I would fight alongside my men whether they approved of it or not. They were aware of my intentions, making people nervous every time I set out to scout with the gladiators or even on my own. I was hungry for blood but I would never purposely put myself in danger while on my own. I wasn't looking for a death, I simply wasn't afraid of it either. Paulus made sure of that. I had wished for death while under his roof. Death had been my friend sitting beside me. Now that I was free I had something to live for. Something that I cherished and wanted to have and to hold for the remainder of my days, no longer wanting those days to end any time soon.
"There is talk among us that you're acting reckless." Caius told us as we were once again on the move. Frowning at him questioningly I waited for him to go on. "They don't think you should be leaving the group. Not only that but apparently I'm in the wrong for staying behind and letting you go. They'd be much happier if I went out there and you stayed here."
"You can offer more protection than I can." I stated.
"They've seen you with Lucius." He replied. "They're aware that you can defend yourself. It's enough for them."
"I'm no leader. They should not be so concerned about my wellbeing." I stated, not understanding why it would matter to them so much.
"To them you're their savior." He said sweetly.
"Do they not understand that without you none of this would be possible? I would have died a slow agonizing death had you not freed me. If that had occurred then they too would still be in servitude." I replied harshly. "I do not wish anyone to look at me as anything other than their equal or their friend. I am not going to lead these people into battle or even to somewhere safe. I am simply leading them to the one man who will be their leader. The one man who will see to their safety and in making sure that they remain free. Spartacus is all of these things. I am simply one woman searching for the man she loves. I care about these people, I do, but every night before I go to sleep and every morning when I wake there is only one thing on my mind and that is Varro. Every step I take is to bring me closer to him."
"I know." He nodded with a smile. "But they don't see it that way."
"They should." I shot back at him coldly.
"We believe because you believe." A voice said startling me from my other side. Antonia sat atop a newly acquired horse, a slight frown on her face. "You're the image of hope for us. We see your scars and hear what you've overcome. You are the hope that we may survive what Spartacus has started. What we have started."
Looking around, I found several eyes upon me. It seemed that Caius and I had been overheard by far more than I had intended. Sighing, I stopped my horse, turning him round to face everyone. "Apologies if I have offended any of you. I never meant to cause any of you pain or to make you think that I do not care about your lives. I care deeply for every one of you. I care about your freedom and where you lay your head at night. I myself may have other intentions for going on this journey, my own happiness relying on finding the Rebels. But I will not turn my back on any of you. However I do pray that you not see me as your leader but merely a guide to bring you to the one who is your true leader. Spartacus is the man you seek to redeem you from the world we know and to show you a better way. I am not that person. I am nothing compared to whom I guide you to. Please do not put more faith in me than I deserve."
"You do deserve it." A woman I didn't know said with two children clinging to her. Having never seen her before it occurred to me that others had joined without my knowledge. "All know of Spartacus but there are those who whisper your name. Few are aware of what you're doing and what you've done, but those who do know what you risk, appreciate the actions you've taken."
"I've taken no action." I frowned shaking my head. "I have spilled no blood, I have taken no house, I have done nothing but free a handful of slaves, telling them of Spartacus and now I take them to him." Pausing I continued to shake my head at them, not understanding. "I have taken no other action than that. Caius is responsible for the food you eat and the clothes you wear. He is the reason I'm alive and was able to take any action at all. I would be dead if it weren't for him. So please, I beg of you, if you wish to look to someone among us then please look to him. He is Roman and yet is helping us, defying his own people to fight the cause Spartacus has started. If you wish to speak a name, speak Spartacus, speak Caius, but please do not speak Lea, for I do not deserve praise for doing what's right."
"You do not see what we do." Another unknown to me stated with a smile.
"No, I do not." I frowned still shaking my head at them. "I do not understand."
"More proof that you are a leader, even if you can't see it yourself." Felix chimed in. I frowned harder at him. "You do this because of your heart, not your mind. You may not want us to follow you but it is our choice to make. So for the foreseeable future, we follow you, Lea, friend of the Bringer of Rain." He said and smiled at me.
Sighing with defeat, I nodded at them, "I do not agree with you but it seems you've given me no choice."
"None." Felix smiled.
"So be it." I said turning and continuing on. "Do not cry to me when times get tough and you wonder why you're here. Remember, it was your own choice." I told them, a broad smile growing on my face.
There was the sound of muted laughter and we were all on the move again. Scouts had been scouring the countryside and had come back to report that the roads and woods seemed to be clear. I hoped that it meant that they hadn't moved on yet. All I wanted was for them to stay put one more day so we could catch up to them. I needed to catch up with them.
"There is one more villa that we never made it to. It's a little off to the side diagonal from where we are." One of my scouts, Appius, told me. He was young, barely past his twentieth year, his hair cut short based off stories about Spartacus, his blue eyes alight with our pending joining with the Rebels. "I think we should take a few men and go see what's there. If there's nothing then it is too far to make everyone follow us there."
"Well done." I nodded at him. "And agreed. I'll get Otho and Lucius to accompany us."
"Us?" He frowned at me. "Are you planning on coming?"
"I am too eager to stay behind and wait. I will be going." I told him.
"Domina." He said with a slight bow of his head, though it was clear that he immediately regretted his word.
"Excuse me?" I shot at him, my neck pained from the force at which I looked at him.
"Apologies." He said quickly. "Old habits." He added with a smile that was meant to disarm.
"Never call me that again." I told him coldly. "I never want to hear that word again. Nor Dominus nor amanuensis nor any other word that our masters used to call us by. We are free. We are never to answer to anyone but ourselves for the remainder of our days."
"Apologies." He told me again. "But know that it was said out of respect."
"Then call me by name. I do not own you, Appius." I stated.
"Again, apologies, Lea." He said softly.
Taking a calming breath, I looked at him, giving him a small smile. "Gratitude for the information. Apologies for my harshness."
"It was well founded." He told me with a small smile. "I will not make the same mistake twice."
"I believe you." I nodded at him. "Now go inform the gladiators and I will go tell Caius."
"Lea." He said and left.
Trotting my horse down the side of our group, I found Caius talking with Antonia, both laughing at something the other had said. Though Caius's eyes were immediately on me when I came into sight, receiving what could only be jealousy in the look Antonia gave.
"Caius, I'm going to be taking a small party to see what's in a villa on the other side of the wood. Appius thinks it's too far to take everyone in case there is nothing there." I told him.
"Why must you go?" He frowned at me.
"Because I'm too anxious to stay behind. I'm leaving you in charge." I replied.
"Are you taking both Otho and Lucius?" He asked.
"Yes, unless you think one should stay behind." I told him.
"We'll be all right." He smiled.
"Okay." I nodded, nervous of what we may find there.
"Are you going to leave immediately?" He asked next. Hearing hooves, I turned to see Appius with Lucius, Otho, Felix, and two other men all mounted and ready to go. "I'll take that as a yes."
"Be safe Caius. We'll return as soon as we can." I said reaching my hand out to him.
"You be safe as well." He smiled taking it.
"I will." I smiled squeezing his hand tightly.
Turning to Appius, I nodded, giving him the go ahead to lead the way. Moving swiftly through the wood, my heart was starting to race with anticipation. This could be it. This could be the villa that saw me reunited with my family.
Slowing to a steady walk, we listened to a stream nearby, leading the horses over so they could drink their fill. Slipping from my mounts back I stroked the stallion's neck, patting his withers before stepping away from him, listening to the forest. Otho too was looking out into the wood but the expression on his face was telling me that something was amiss.
"What is it?" I asked as I stepped next to him, trying to see what he was seeing.
"Something's out there." He whispered.
"Should we run?" I whispered as a pit fell in my stomach.
In the next moment there was shouting and men came from all sides, rushing toward us with swords drawn. Pulling my dagger from its place on my thigh, I held it up to prepare for them to reach us. Otho and Lucius were already in full swing with their swords out. Felix was at my side a second later, blocking a sword from coming down on top of me. Snatching the sword from where it had fallen, I dodged another attack before I swung the sword at the man nearest to me. All appeared to be gladiators. Dirty and fierce. The pit in my stomach turned to butterflies as I managed to hit the man in the head with the butt of the sword, not wanting to injure him more than I had to. Looking around at the strangers who had attacked, my eyes grew wide, knowing who they were.
"WAIT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.