Chapter Five: Acclimation
Walking through the villa, I held tightly to Varro's hand. We had prolonged rejoining the others for as long as we could, wanting to spend as much time alone with each other as possible. Though we were both needed, I needed to see to my people and Varro needed to speak to Spartacus. He had been absent too long and there were many words that needed to be broken. I felt many eyes upon us as we made our way past the many rooms of the house. There was the smell of food coming from the triclinium, making both our mouths water.
"Go eat, drink, and break words with Spartacus." I smiled up at him, taking both his hands in mine.
"And you go speak with Caius." He said though the sound of jealousy was back in his voice.
Leaning up, I kissed him deeply. "Stop with the jealousy." I told him. "It's sweet but unfounded. My heart and soul is yours."
"And mine is yours." He smiled, brushing the back of his fingers across my cheek.
Tilting my head, his smile grew and he leaned down to kiss me. It was sweet and filled with the love we shared for each other. For I did love him, more than anything, more than I'd love anything again in my life. Watching him walk away, I couldn't suppress the grin on my face as I turned and spotted Caius among the rebels that surrounded us. Even though he was surrounded by friends, he looked out of place and it was clear that he was unsure of the decision he had made. There were those among us eyeing him as the enemy despite the safety that I was certain Spartacus had provided him. Only they would see him as Roman. The Roman slaves among us were exempt due to their status as slave; Caius was a free Roman who chose to join us. Some would respect him for it, others would want to spill his blood, something I hadn't put enough thought into. I needed to protect him. I owed him my life and I would see that his was safe from those among us who would wish him harm.
"Caius." I smiled as I stepped up to him. His face was hard when he looked at me. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hugged him tightly. "Apologies for taking so long." When I released him he still held the same hard look. "Caius." I frowned back at him. "Don't be like this."
"How am I being?" He asked coldly.
"You're acting like you were unaware of my intentions." I told him crossing my arms.
"I know." He nodded. "Only I didn't expect…" He said and stopped.
Frowning sadly at him, all I could do was shake my head, "I was never yours, Caius."
"I know." He said softly.
"Then why act this way?" I asked sadly. "You knew my main focus was being reunited with Varro. You cannot expect things to remain the same. We are far from your villa, never to return again. Here, things are different. Things will never be the same as they were. But we remain friends. That part hasn't changed."
"I prefer the way they were." He frowned. "You full of life while in my home. I never wanted to come on this journey."
"Then why did you? You could have remained in Capua. No one would have stopped you or looked down on your for such a decision."
Stepping closer to me, his face was mere inches from mine. "For you, Lea. I came for you. Everything I have done has been for you and no one else."
Frowning at him, my stomach turning at his words, I took a step away from him. "I am not yours." I repeated slowly, making my words plain.
Walking away from him, I found myself a jug of wine, taking a long drink of it, followed by a deep breath to steady myself. I didn't know why I thought things would be able to stay the same. It occurred to me that I was a possession in his eyes. He was no better than the Romans we were to fight against. Feeling the sting of tears, I took another drink of the wine before turning and marching back toward Caius. Reaching him, I slapped him hard across the face, my anger flowing freely.
"I am not your possession!" I screamed at him, making a look of shock and guilt cross his face. "I owe you my life but that doesn't mean you own me!"
"Lea, I don't think that." He told me gently though he refused to meet my eyes.
"You do!" I yelled. "You're jealous and you see me as yours! I am not yours, Caius." I said finally lowering my voice. "I will never be yours and you know that. You are my friend and I care about you but you cannot treat me like I used to be a slave to you. I am no longer a slave and I will never be a possession again. If you want to survive this, if you want to be here, than you must understand this or I fear you will not last the night." I finished and stormed away from him.
Slipping into the shadows, I took a deep breath as tears streamed down my face. Starting to shake I tried to push these feelings away. I was with Varro again, that's all that mattered, yet I had hoped all the people I cared about would be able to coexist. For me and for the cause. Sliding down the wall, I let the tears fall, knowing that they had to. I was alone for only a few minutes when two figures appeared, sitting on either side of me. Both my hands were taken and a comfortable silence settled over us. Closing my eyes, I rested my head against the wall, pulling their hands against my chest as I brought my knees up, hugging them tightly to me.
"Is she all right?" Varro's voice asked, making me open my eyes and look at him.
"Yes." Antonia told him.
"Just give us a few minutes." Felix added from my other side.
Smiling at him, he smiled back before turning and walking away. "Gratitude." I told my friends. "I was under the impression that Caius was different."
"He is different." Felix smiled, wrapping his arm around me. "It has nothing to do with the blood that runs through his veins. It's about what his heart beats for."
"It beats for you." Antonia said with a smile though I knew the fact pained her.
"But I will never feel for him that way. He is my friend, my brother, and that is all." I frowned at her.
"He knows that." She said tucking my hair behind my ear. "He just has trouble accepting it."
"He must." I told her as tears filled my eyes again.
"He will." Felix told me. "We just arrived. He'll come to terms."
Nodding, I took a steadying breath. "How are you doing? How is everyone else?" I asked. "Was Spartacus welcoming?"
"Very." Felix smiled.
"He's been wonderful." Antonia added.
"And everyone is doing well. Lucius and Otho are happy to be amongst brothers. Some of the gladiators here are known to them. They have been in celebration since we stepped through the gates."
"Everyone else is finding that they're all the same. Many stories are being shared with new friends that have been made." Antonia added.
"Good." I nodded at them. "That's good."
It was then that we heard commotion from the front of the villa. Frowning, we all stood and rushed toward the sound. Pushing through the crowd, I had to jump back as Caius was thrown from the villa steps, rolling across the ground before getting to his feet. In the next moment Crixus appeared, anger written across his face, charging after the Roman.
"Crixus!" I yelled rushing after him. "Don't!" I yelled gripping his wrist with both my hands as he moved to punch Caius again. He stopped and looked at me. There was such pain and anger on his face that it broke my heart. "It's okay." I told him. "I'm okay."
"He made offense against you." He told me with his gruff voice.
Smiling at the sound of it, I nodded at him, "Yes, but he is a friend." I told him. "He will never make the mistake again."
"We thought you dead." He said swiftly taking my head in his hands.
"I know." I told him breathlessly as I put my hands over his. "But I'm here. I am safe and will never be apart from you again." He nodded at me as emotion crossed his face. "We will find her, Crixus. We will find her and our family will be whole again."
"She wanted me to find you. To protect you." He told me. "I made promise that I would see it done."
"And I'm right here." I smiled at him. "Now it's our turn to find her. Protect her."
"It's what I long for most."
"Then let's see it done." I smiled and kissed his cheeks wrapping my arms around his neck. Releasing him, I wrapped my arm around him, leading him back to the villa.
"Lea." Caius said from behind us.
"All is forgiven, Caius." I smiled at him.
Leading Crixus to a quiet place, a cup of wine was brought, helping him drink though he had already had plenty. This was not the Gaul I remembered. This man was diminished. I understood what he was feeling. I knew far too well.
"Rest." I told him as I gently pulled him down, cradling his head in my lap. "All will seem better in the morning." He gripped my thigh, shutting his eyes. "Sleep." Soon sleep finally took him. Running my fingers through his hair, smiling as Varro came and sat next to me. Kissing me sweetly, he looked at the Gaul with a sad expression. "He's not doing well." I told my love.
"I know how he feels." Varro frowned. "We've actually bonded over the loss of our women." He told me with his boyish smirk, making butterflies flutter in my stomach.
"I love you." I smiled running my hand down his face. "I will never be from your side again. Nor from your arms. Nor from your bed."
He grinned and kissed me again. "I'll make sure of it."
Falling asleep with my head against Varro's shoulder, I still held Crixus in my lap, unable to hide my happiness for being back with them, no matter what state they were in. Come morning, I woke to find myself in Varro's lap. He still sat propped against the wall. Smiling, I sat up and took his head in my hands, kissing him deeply. Soon he was kissing me back, rolling me into his arms as he took my breath away. Laughing, I ran my fingers down his face, smiling at him with all the happiness I felt.
"My ass is killing me." He smirked, making me laugh again; kissing me again he pulled me from his lap, both of us getting to our feet.
The smell of meat was filtering through the air from the spit out front. It occurred to me that we never ate last night. The smell was making my mouth water intensely and my stomach rumble with wanting. Walking toward the smell, Varro kissed me before going to get the latest news of the day. Going to the food, I was given a leg of meat, sitting and happily devouring it as fast as I could. Washing it down with a glass of wine, I was content. Many smiled and nodded at me as they passed by, I knew I wasn't going to be left alone for long.
"Good morning." Caius smiled as he sat next to me.
"Good morning." I grinned at him, hooking my arm through his as I leaned against him.
"How do you fare?" He asked gently.
"Very well." I told him. "And you?"
"I am fine." He smiled though I felt as if the smile was only for my benefit.
"Morning." Antonia smiled as she sat next to Caius.
"Morning." I smiled at her. "Where's Felix?"
"Here." He said sitting on my other side with a hunk of meat.
"Morning." I smiled as I tore a small piece of meat and ate it before he could stop me.
"Spartacus, Crixus, Agron and some of the others are gone. Do you know where they went?" He asked.
"I do not. Though I haven't been awake long." I told him as I snatched another piece of meat.
"There's more you know." He frowned at me, moving the meat away from me.
Smiling at him, I attempted to take more but he hit my hand away from me, jabbing his fingers in my side to make me jump away from him.
"Stop." I smiled shoving him.
"Lea!" My name was exclaimed from behind me.
Turning, I was on my feet in an in instant, embracing Mira. "I'm so happy to see you." I told her.
"You as well." She said hugging me again.
"Hello." Felix said getting to his feet as he looked at Mira.
"Mira, this is Felix. He was freed from the house I was sold to." I told her. She smiled at him before looking at me sadly. "I am fine." I smiled at her.
"Spartacus spoke at length with Caius." She told me with a slight frown. "He told me what happened to you."
Still smiling at her I nodded, "I'm home now. That's all that matters."
"Yes, it is." She smiled and embraced me again.
"I'm glad you're all right." I told her hugging her tightly before pulling her away from me, smiling at her. "And I've been told you now lie with Spartacus." She nodded at me. "I am happy for you."
She simply grinned at me, "I am happy for me as well." Laughing lightly we embraced again before there was a hand on my back. Looking up at Varro, I smiled, leaning against him. "I'll leave you." She smiled, kissing my cheek before walking away, Felix doing the same.
Varro lifted my chin with the side of his finger and kissed me deeply. "Mmm, you taste good." I grinned at him with my eyes shut. Hearing him give a short laugh, he wrapped his arms around me, pressing me against his chest as he kissed me passionately. When he finally leaned away from me, I smiled up at him, able to stare at him for forever. "I could do that forever."
"I intend for you to." He smirked and kissed me again.
We spoke of trivial things while he ate and drank; people from my past and present speaking on good terms. When Spartacus and the others returned, they all moved inside, no one saying anything. Varro moved to follow him while I lingered, intending on finishing the conversation I was having with Caius and a group of our people, before moving to join Spartacus and the others. Only I was cut short when there was the sound of agony in the air. My head moved toward the sound. Listening, I frowned before a realization hit me. "Crixus." I said before rushing to where the sound of him was coming from. Stopping when the small garden in the center of the villa came into sight, I witnessed Crixus tear into the long grass, yelling mournfully, two gladiators were attempting to hold him back. "What happened?" I asked Agron, who was watching it take place.
"He received some bad news." He told me, turned and walked away.
Varro put his hands on my arms as my heart began to race, panic starting to set in. "No." I said as tears filled my eyes. "No." I repeated and took a step toward the Gaul. Rushing forward, I shoved the gladiators aside, all of them stepping back when they looked at me. Taking Crixus' face in my hands his eyes were shut, his mouth gapping in grief. "Crixus." I said with a shuttering breath. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Shaking my head, I didn't have to speak for him to know what I was thinking.
"Naevia…" He said with a raspy voice, "…is dead."
"No." I told him as tears began to stream. "She can't be. No, Crixus. No."
Wrapping his arms around me, he embraced me in a vice grip. It was the only thing that was holding me together in this moment. Standing there we grieved the loss both of us shared. A loss that there was no words for. Our sobs filling the air as we came to terms with the news received. When our tears slowed, we were both led to a quiet part of the villa, left alone to process our latest tragedy. However, Varro was never far. He would speak to Spartacus but was always within sight. I was grateful for that. For if he had died I would have a better understanding of Crixus' feelings. For he sat an empty vessel, nothing could lessen the despair he felt. And now I'd lost my sister. I didn't know how I was supposed to go on without her. She was a constant voice in my head. She was everything. She was more important than me and now she was gone. Stricken from this world far before her time. All because she loved a gladiator.
Looking at Crixus, I ran my hand down his face, making him meet my eyes. "We will survive this." I told him with a hoarse voice. "We will survive and destroy every Roman to have our revenge." He simply looked at me, resting his head against mine, before once again staring off into space.
We sat together for a long time. There was no easing his misery. Nothing that neither I nor anyone else could say to help him through this. Varro came and sat next to me, wrapping his arm around my bent knee as I leaned against Crixus' side. Putting my hand over his, I still hugged Crixus' arm against me, his head still resting against mine. Footsteps approached and soon Spartacus appeared.
"May I break words with our friend?" He asked gently.
"Of course." I told him, lifting my head and looking at my brother. "I will be back, Crixus." I said softly, kissing his temple before removing myself from his side.
"Come." Varro said helping me to my feet and gently leading me away.
As soon as we were out of sight, a fresh wave of tears hit me, my chest clenching as I attempted to hold in the sobs. Putting my hand over my mouth, Varro pulled me against his side before ushering me back to the room where we had first been reunited. Holding me as we sat amongst the blankets, I sobbed until I couldn't anymore. My throat raw, my eyes red and swollen. All the while Varro held me against his chest, remaining silent, knowing that there was nothing that could be said that would make this bearable.
Leaning away from him, I wiped the tears from my cheeks, taking several shuddering breaths. "Apologies." I smiled at Varro. He frowned, shaking his head. "I just don't understand how this could have happened."
"There was nothing you could have done. No one could have stopped it once it was put into motion." Varro told me gently. "I am sure she held on for as long as she could."
"And then she died." I frowned at him. "She died a slave. She died afraid and alone. I should have been with her. Crixus should have been with her. Instead she was given away, moved from villa to villa, and I can only imagine what was done to her while she was within their walls."
"At least her suffering has ended." He said softly.
Nodding at him, I took a deep breath. "If she experienced anything like I did than it is truly a blessing." He frowned, his eyes filled with sadness when I met them. "There are many horrible men in this world, Varro. I would see them all die for what they've done."
"They will." He said wrapping me in his arms.
Soon we rejoined the others, feeling emotionally drained, and yet I felt the need to help. I had done nothing since I'd arrived and I needed a distraction from my latest loss. Finding Spartacus with Agron, I was swiftly embraced by Mira as well as Antonia and Felix, feeling their sympathy radiating off of them.
"I am fine." I smiled at them.
"You don't have to be strong." Mira told me. "She was a sister to you – me as well – and now she's gone. There is nothing that can ease the pain you feel."
"There is." I told her, my tone growing dark. "The spilling of Roman blood." She nodded, smiling. Taking her hand, I moved to Varro's side, taking his hand as I looked at Spartacus, Mira doing the same for her man. "What is the plan?"
"We move toward Vesuvius. There we will be in striking distance of Pompeii. Agron has also spoken of Neapolis and the ships that come bringing men for the arena. The mountain offers good advantage as well as the hope of seeing numbers swell." Spartacus told me.
"The ships usually hold trained fighters for the arena. They already hate Rome and will help our numbers considerably." Agron told us.
Nodding, I smiled up at Varro who returned with a slightly sadder one. "Come with me." He said before leading me away from everyone else. "You don't have to be strong. How do you fare?" He asked gently.
Sighing, I wrapped my arm around him, leaning into his side as he did the same. "I'm sad." I told him. "And I'm angry. And I'm a little bit scared."
"Everything will be all right." He said placing a kiss against my hair.
"How?" I frowned up at him.
"We will hurt the Romans the same way that they've hurt us. We will spill as much Roman blood as we can, seeking revenge for the ones we've lost and redemption for those who still serve under masters." He told me with certainty.
"I do wish to seek revenge for myself, for you, and now especially for Naevia. But…" I said and stopped.
"But what?" He frowned.
Stopping him, knowing we were out of earshot, I shared something that I hadn't thought much of until this moment. "We could leave Rome and find a new home. Make a life for ourselves together. Have a family and live a complete life."
"And abandon Spartacus?" He frowned, releasing me as he took a step away to look at me.
Quickly taking his hands, I held them against my chest as I looked up at him. "I do not want to abandon him. What I do want is you and as long a life as I can have with you. I am afraid that one or both of us will not survive this fight." I frowned up at him.
He smiled, moving so our bodies were against each other, leaning down and kissing me deeply. "Neither of us is going to die, my love." He told me sweetly. "We will fight with Spartacus and when it's all over we are going to have the life that both of us dream of."
"You can't promise me that." I frowned harder.
"No, I cannot." He said putting his hand on the side of my head. "But I will do my utmost to make sure that it happens."
"I would give my life for you." I told him. "You do know that do you not?"
Taking my head in his hands, his grip was almost painful, his tone serious, "You are never to give your life for mine. Do you understand me?"
"I understand but I cannot promise you that. If I can stop your death by giving my own I will do it without hesitation."
"Lea, you must promise me that you won't. I'd rather die than live without you." He told me with a pained expression.
"And it is the same for me." I frowned at him, putting my hands on his shoulders, running them up his neck to his face. "I cannot live without you. I refuse to. Either we both live or we both die."
"Then I choose to live." He said before he started to kiss me.
Not caring who saw, he pushed me up against the wall, pinning my hands to it with his as he kissed me passionately. Pulling one of my hands free, I lifted my knee to his side, pulling up my dress, growing wet with wanting. Helping him pull his trousers down, I took his cock in my hand, rubbing it as our lips continued to move against each other. Soon he hardened in my grasp, making me smile before I arched away from the wall, placing him at my entrance. His kisses became more passionate as he pushed up inside of me. Moaning with pleasure, I bit down on my lip as he trailed kisses down my neck, burying his there as he lifted me further, rocking against me. His lips once again found mine, my head spinning with the pleasure he'd just given me. Soon he pulled from within me, slowly putting me back on my feet. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I looked into his eyes, seeing all the love he held for me in them. Leading me back to his room, we laid in each other's arms, smiling as we stared at each other. It was hard to be sad when he was with me.
"You should eat." I told him as I trailed my finger across the lines of his face.
"So should you." He replied with a smile.
"I don't think my stomach will accept anything right now." I said with a sigh, hugging my arms against my chest.
"I won't eat a bite unless you do as well." He said with a raised brow and his boyish smirk.
Smiling at him, I shook my head, kissing him deeply. "Fine." I said kissing him again. "I'll get us something to eat. You should start packing. Spartacus will want to move out as soon as possible."
"All right." He nodded and started kissing me again, rolling over me, allowing himself better access to all of his favorite spots.
"I'll never be able to leave if you keep kissing me like that." I told him airily.
"That's my plan." He grinned invading my mouth again.
Running my hands across his toned muscles, I ran my feet up and down his legs, his hands running along my sides, over my breasts, up my neck and to my face, his fingers entangling in my hair as his tongue touched mine, moving against each other as the heat between us began to rise. When I felt him harden against me, he was about to enter my cunt when a familiar pain started to burn. I couldn't help but put my hands on his chest, stopping it from going further, a small gasp escaping my lips, thankfully unnoticed by Varro.
"Is something wrong?" He asked gently.
"Apologies." I smiled. "But you must prepare to go and I must find some food."
"Is that all?" He asked, knowing that it wasn't.
"Forgive me." I told him again, my smile now gone. "I am in need of a rest. Making love with you pleases me beyond measure, yet for as healed as I am there are some things that may still need more time."
He frowned harder, "Is there something you did not tell me?" There was nothing I could hide from him. Nor anything that I wished to hide. I told him of what Paulus had done to me. I simply hadn't been as forthcoming with details that I knew would hurt him. "Tell me." He frowned. I looked up at him sadly. "Loosen tongue and tell me what you chose not to before."
Taking a deep breath, I spoke slowly, the information I was about to give him hard to move past lips. "I am heavily scared from constant tearing and I feel myself tearing again." I told him sadly. "There is already enough damage to make conceiving a child difficult. I do not wish to cause any further damage to make it impossible."
He quickly moved off of me, frowning harder. "Why did you keep this from me?"
"It's troubling news and I did not want you to look at me as damaged as I feel at times." I replied sitting up. "There are times when it burdens my mind and I did not want you to feel that burden as well."
Taking my hands in his, he sighed and spoke softly, "Your burdens are my burdens. You need keep nothing from me. Forgive me if I have been overzealous with my affections toward you."
"No." I told him quickly, moving to my knees to be closer to him, taking his head in my hands. "Never apologize for that. I love you and I love being with you. The feeling of you inside of me makes me feel more whole than I've ever felt before. But I am simply reminded that I am still human and still fragile. I may be healed but I fear time will still be needed. For there are wounds of the mind that I have yet to fully overcome. I feared lying with you might frighten me after everything I've been through. But with you I am home. Wherever you are I shall be and everything is right in the world."
Smiling, he kissed me sweetly. "It is the same for me." He said running his hand down my hair. "I will show you how gentle I can be."
Grinning, I shook my head lightly as I ran my hands down his chest before wrapping my arms around him, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, "I know how gentle you can be."
"I will remind you all the same." He said placing a kiss against my nose. "Now go before I cannot contain myself any longer."
Laughing, I took his head in my hands and kissed him passionately. "I will be back presently."
"I shall attempt to be productive in your absence." He smiled.
Kissing him once more, I quickly got to my feet and left the room. Taking a deep breath, I took a moment to reach into my cunt, afraid that there had been a tear. However, I took a relieved breath when I found that I was still whole. I wasn't sure if the pain I had felt was real or if it was simply a memory of what I had endured. Shaking it off, I walked through the house, hearing the sounds of packing. The sun had already started to set. Seeing Spartacus leaning against a doorframe, watching, I stepped up behind him, wrapping my arm around his waist as I leaned against his side. Looking at me, he smiled and wrapped his arm around me, placing a kiss in my hair.
"You look odd to me in Roman garbs." He teased.
"It took weeks to feel comfortable in them myself." I smiled at him. "However, I had planned on changing into Rebel attire when I arrived. Something I had hoped Naevia would assist me with."
"Her loss brings much pain." He said pulling me against his chest, wrapping his other arm around me. Sighing, gripping his shoulder with my other hand, I shut my eyes as I listened to his heartbeat. "I know there is nothing I can say, but know that I cannot help but feel happy by your presence."
"And I by yours." I told him, hugging him tighter. "There will be much pain during this fight. We must cherish the moments we have before they're taken from us." He started to laugh, making me look up at him. "Have you found my words funny?" I asked though a smile was on my face.
"I've missed your words." He said placing a kiss against my forehead. "You being here brings a sense of peace I have not felt since before your absence. I cannot express how grateful I am to you."
"It is I who am grateful." I told him. "You've kept Varro alive in the face of tragedy. I cannot thank you enough for that."
Shaking his head he ran his hand down my hair, "Your heart is too big. You worry about everyone else before yourself. A virtue and a fault."
"Yes." I sighed, wrapping my arms around him. "But I cannot change who I am."
"Nor would I want you to." He smiled doing the same. Leaning away from him, I looked out at all the people. "You are alone. I am surprised to not see Varro. He has become your shadow." He smiled, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorframe.
Laughing, I nodded at him, crossing my arms as well. "I told him to pack. Sometimes I feel as if this is just a dream. I didn't know I could be this happy. Even after everything that has happened, I cannot help but be happy. Varro means everything to me and to be with him again brings happiness I cannot begin to describe." Spartacus smiled at me, but it was the first time that it did not reach his eyes. "Forgive me." I said putting my hand on his arm. "I do not wish to cause you pain."
"No apology needed." He smiled, putting his hand on my face. "I'm happy if you're happy."
"Then we are both happy." I said kissing his cheek. "I love you, brother."
"And I you, sister." He winked and kissed my cheek in return. "Don't let me keep you."
"I am to get food and drink." I told him. "Varro will survive without me for a little while longer."
"All right." He said putting his arm around my shoulders, leading me to where the food was. Gathering just enough for Varro and I, I set it aside before sitting on the steps of the villa with Spartacus.
"I need you to be honest with me." I told him gently. He frowned at me. "How do you fare? Much has happened and everyone is looking to you for answers and direction. It's a heavy load to carry."
"I am well." He smiled at me. "I am prepared for the task I've put on myself. After all, these people have their own minds and can do as they please. If they choose to follow me than so be it and if they wish to travel their own path then they are free to leave."
"What promises have you given them?" I asked.
"Protection and the hope of a better life free of bondage." He told me.
"To what end?" I asked.
"We'll defeat as many Romans as we can, moving over the mountains, leaving Rome and their hold behind us." He told me. "From there we can create whatever life we want. Rome will be able to do nothing." Nodding at him, I looked back at the many packing rebels. "What doubts do you have?" He asked.
Smiling, I nodded at him. "I'm not sure that I have doubts. I simply question our ability to survive this."
"We will survive." He told me matter-of-factly.
"The fight has barely begun." I frowned. "You've done much and have made Rome herself an enemy. Yet the fighting will only intensify. I worry for the people I love and also for myself."
"Speak plainly." He frowned.
Feeling my eyes gloss over, I smiled at him, "I cannot bear to lose anyone else that I love. Varro will follow you to whatever end and if he is lost I too shall pray for death, finding it in the hands of Romans or even in my own. The future looks bleak."
"You need to think more positively." He told me. "If there was anything I can promise you it is that I will keep Varro safe. You will never feel the agony of his death."
"I will hold you to your word." I smiled at him. "But promise me one more thing."
"Anything." He smiled.
"You too must remain safe. This cause cannot lead to your death any more than Crixus' or Agron's or Mira's. We all must survive this." I told him.
"We will." He smiled, taking my hand.
Soon Mira joined us, embracing Spartacus as she took her place by his side. Knowing the look in her eyes, I stood and returned to Varro with food and drink. Finding that he'd done very little, I frowned, putting down our nourishment before stepping up to him. I was about to reprimand him when I noticed he was holding a piece of fabric, a pained expression on his face. Stepping up to him I recognized it as my blue dress, the dress of a body slave, which I had worn on many occasions.
"It still holds your smell." He told me without looking at me. "The scent of roses, lilies, and your natural smell." Kneeling in front of him, I put my hands on his knees. "I almost forgot I had this."
"Varro, love, discard it. It belonged to an old life."
"I can't." He smiled through his sadness. "This has kept me going since we were parted. I have you back but I still cannot bring myself to let it go. It holds memories that are dear to me."
"We can create more memories." I smiled and kissed him deeply. "You don't need that."
"I want it." He told me with furrowed brows.
"All right." I nodded at him, running my fingers through his hair before resting my hand against his face. "Besides," I smiled, "I won't smell of roses again anytime soon."
He finally smiled and kissed me sweetly. "It does not matter. I'll love you no matter what scent you carry."
"You might regret saying that." I grinned before kissing him again.
Laughing, he wrapped me in his arms, playfully biting my neck, feeling him take in my scent. "You smell wonderful to me."
"And you as well." I beamed at him. "Even though you smell horrible."
He frowned at me before his hands squeezed my sides, his teeth gently gracing the flesh of my neck as he put me in a fit of happiness, running his tongue along the areas where his teeth left a mark before he gently sucked my skin. All the while his hands were squeezing my sides. Laughing uncontrollably, I squirmed against him despite the strength in which I held him. Soon his lips found mine, taking my breath away from the depth of his kiss. There was no limit to the love I felt for him, knowing that he felt the same. Enthralled with each other, I knew what it would lead to, only before I could stop him, his kisses slowed and he simply held me in his arms, staring into my eyes. His touch was gentle, his fingers leaving a trail of fire as he ran them across my skin.
"See, I can be as gentle as you need me to be." He told me softly.
"I love you." I said and kissed him.
"And I love you." He smiled back, kissing my deeply.
"I brought food. We should eat." I told him, unwillingly removing myself from his embrace.
"Lea." He frowned at me.
"What?" I grinned at him. "We have the rest of our lives to lay with each other." He continued to frown at me. Tossing him part of a loaf of bread, he sighed but started to eat it. Doing the same I sat with him again, happy to be filling my stomach. "You haven't packed yet. I was gone long enough for you to at least accomplish something."
"Apologies." He told me. "I started but found your dress and couldn't help the memories that flooded my mind."
"Did it bring you comfort in my absence?" I asked.
"More than I can say." He replied, rubbing my back as he finished the bread.
"You were hungry." I smiled.
"More than I thought." He said as he picked at mine.
"Take it." I said handing it to him, knowing his fondness for bread.
Taking a piece of asparagus, I enjoyed it, enjoying being able to share such a common act with him. Something that we never got to share before. All secrecy was gone and now every part of everyday could be spent sharing all the moments we were deprived of. Talking as we ate, it was amazing what we knew about each other and what there was yet to learn. Eating the stalks, he handed me the heads of the asparagus, knowing they were my favorite part, making me smile at him, laughing at something he said. Each taking an apple, we finished our meal, washing it down with the water I had brought, leaving the small decanter of wine for later. Smiling as I watched him eat, it made my heart sore to know that he had reverted to his former self. He was no longer lost in grief. Part of me felt guilty for putting him in such a state, despite not having knowledge I was doing so.
"You're staring." He smiled as he finished off the bread.
Grinning, I nodded at him, still staring, "I can't help myself. I could look at you forever and never become bored." I told him, running my fingers through his hair.
Looking at me, he smiled before leaning closer to me, kissing me sweetly. "And I could kiss you forever and it would never be enough."
Laughing lightly, I continued to kiss him, pushing him onto his back, straddling his waist as I took his head in my hands, deepening the kiss. It was my turn to take his breath away. Feeling him shudder beneath me, I continued to kiss him as I reached my hand down between his legs. I couldn't give him what he truly wanted but I would please him in any way that I could. Taking his cock in my hand, I massaged him, feeling him harden, his breath shuddering as I rocked against him while I pleasured him. Licking the length of his bottom lip, I gently bit his chin before gently sucking it, moving my lips to his neck and chest, my free hand running up and down his body. Feeling him release, I grinned, kissing him, sucking his lower lip before leaning away from him. He grinned back before pulling my face down to his again. Rolling off of him, putting my leg in between his, I gently ran my fingers back and forth across his chest. Propping myself on my elbow, I looked down at him. He smiled at me as he trailed his fingers back and forth across my back.
"You should pack." I told him softly. He just made a noise in response. "We need to be ready come morning."
"We will be." He told me tilting his head back as he looked at me. Smiling, I kissed him before nestling against his side, my head on his chest. "If you fall asleep against me I'll never get anything done."
"You won't?" I smiled as I placed a kiss against his skin.
"I won't have the heart to move you."
"Then you should pack now for I cannot keep my eyes open much longer."
Thinking that he wouldn't move, I felt a chill as he stood, leaving me alone on the floor. Sighing, I moved to the pile of blankets, pulling one over myself. I made myself comfortable as I watched him start to pack. He kept glancing at me, smiling, though it were as if he was afraid that I would disappear. I knew the feeling. I felt the same when I first discovered Agron in the woods. I too couldn't help but watch him. Every moment with him was heaven to me.
Pouring a glass of wine, he drank as he packed, kneeling next to me, filling my mouth with its taste as he kissed me. Beaming at him, I continued to watch him pack, feeling more and more tired as the minutes went by. Soon my lids felt too heavy, falling shut, the sound of his movements lulling me to sleep.
A big thank you to all those who enjoy the story! Every kind word is appreciated and an encouragement! And I'd like to give a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Phantom- of- light! I hope you've enjoyed your 21st birthday! Have a glass of wine for me! Afterward, enjoy this chapter. (=