He stares out the airplane window at the water passing far below him. He isn't really one for heights, but he isn't here right now. He's on a playground fourteen years ago, where, even at four years old, he could already see his future being drawn for him.
"Can't you drive any faster?" he whines to his mother, who he knows is on the phone with some important man. She's using lots of big words that he doesn't quite understand, so he doesn't really care what she's saying.
His mother ignores his complaints until after she hangs up the phone.
"Honey, what've I told you about talking to me when I'm on the phone?" He says nothing. "We'll be there in five minutes."
There's a brand new playground opening up today, and he wants to be the first one there. He knows that by this time there are probably about a million other kids there, but he wants to be optimistic.
When they finally do arrive, he drags his mom out of the car (she's on the phone again and going far too slow for his liking) and looks at her expectantly. She doesn't seem to remember that she promised to play tag with him the second they arrived. She walks off to a bench and sits down, and he's alone.
He turns around to take in the shiny new playground. It's huge with swing sets and slides and monkey bars and see-saws and fire poles and everything he imagined it'd be. It's packed full of people, and he's about to push through them to climb to the top and claim his rightful position as king of the playground, when his gaze lands on a girl.
Normally he doesn't like girls much. He's seen them at other playgrounds and at preschool and they don't seem to like it when he throws sand at them or accidentally (not so accidentally) drops a worm he found in the grass down their shirt.
But this one catches his attention. She's all alone, not in a little group of wimpy girls. She's sitting on a swing and looking around, blinking her big brown eyes and not doing much. He doesn't see how she could just sit there when she could be digging in the sand or sliding slides or anything else, really. He also doesn't see how she could be sitting all alone instead of trying to make friends.
He walks over to her.
"Hi," he says, sitting on the swing next to her. She starts a bit and looks over at him with those wide eyes, saying nothing. "I'm Austin. What's your name?"
"Ally," she says in a voice so quiet and small he can just barely hear her.
"Why are you all alone, Ally?" he asks. He's itching to start showing off his newly acquired skill of being able to swing by pumping his legs instead of someone pushing him, but then there's no way he'll be able to hear her.
"I like being alone."
"Why?" How could someone not want to be surrounded by people?
"It's quieter."
"Oh." He doesn't like quiet much. "Do you wanna come play tag?"
"No thanks," she says.
"But you're all alone."
"I told you, I like being alone. And I'm not alone right now. You're here."
"Oh. Do you want me to leave?"
She shakes her head.
"Sometimes it's fun being alone with someone else."
"But then you're not alone."
Another reason he doesn't like girls much: they're confusing.
She laughs a bit and doesn't say anything.
"Do you wanna swing?" he asks her.
"I'm not very good at it," she admits.
"I'll push you," he announces, hopping off his swing and standing behind her.
"I don't know if that's a good idea," she says nervously.
"Why not?"
"I've never done this before."
"What?!" he exclaims.
"I don't go to the park very much."
"Why not?"
"I dunno."
"Oh. Well, don't worry. I'm good at pushing people. Just hold on and you'll be fine. I won't go too high."
"Okay," she says unsurely.
"What's wrong now?"
"My mom said I shouldn't trust strangers."
He can't really argue with that. He is a stranger, and his mom said the same thing. He thinks for a moment, and then smiles when he thinks of a solution.
"Let's be friends, then."
"But we just met."
"So?"
She smiles.
"Okay, let's be friends."
He didn't think he'd ever want to be friends with a girl, but this one is different. He likes her a lot. She's nice and pretty and smells like strawberries, and she doesn't get upset when he starts pushing her, like other girls do. They always scream something about cooties and run away, but she doesn't. She laughs and closes her eyes and talks a little louder and says it's like she's flying.
After a while, he complains that his arms are getting tired. She apologizes, and he forgives her, because that's what friends do. He slows down the swing and she hops off.
He realizes she's taller than him, and for once a girl being taller than him doesn't bother him that much.
"That was fun!" she exclaims happily.
He smiles.
"See?"
"Yeah!" she says with a nod. "I like you, Austin. Let's be best friends."
He's made a lot of best friends all the times he's gone to the park. He's never seen those people again. But this one, he wants to see again and again and again.
"Okay, Ally. Best friends," he agrees. He opens his arms for a hug while she holds her hand out, and he frowns. Then, he smiles mischievously and spits in the palm of his hand before shaking hers.
"Gross!" she exclaims, scrunching her nose. But she doesn't run away. She simply wipes her hand on his shirt and then smacks his arm lightly. "Now you have to be it!"
Now she runs away. But he laughs and chases her.
Before they leave, they drag their mothers over to each other to meet. Ally introduces Austin to her mom, and he introduces Ally to his.
"We're best friends!" he exclaims. The women chuckle.
"I'm Penny," Ally's mom says.
"I'm Mimi," his own mom responds with a smile. They shake hands.
The two mothers start talking about mom stuff, and he and Ally talk about more important matters.
"How old are you?" he asks her.
"Four."
"Me too!"
"I'm going to kindergarten next year," she says.
"Me too!"
They later learn from their mothers that they'll coincidentally be attending the same school, and they cheer and hug.
He's never hugged a girl before. He likes it.
The women exchange numbers and promise their children they'll plan a playdate soon, but they both really must go home. Austin and Ally look at each other with sad faces, and then promise to see each other again soon.
He remembers that day like it was yesterday. He knows she does too.
Fourteen years later, they're still best friends. In that span of time, they have had a total of three major fights. (Major being used in the sense that he had admittedly shed a few tears at the thought of actually losing his best friend because of whatever mistake was made to cause the fight.)
Fourteen years. That's a long time. Especially if that's how long you've had a crush on someone.
They're in third grade. Finally people are starting to look at them as the big kids. And because they're big kids now, they have to act like them.
All people are talking about now is who has a crush on who. Rumor has it that Jessica, Ashley, Aubrey, Clara, Rachel, and Kaylyn all have a crush on him. He's the most popular boy in the grade, so it isn't that surprising. But the girls who like him are still embarrassed when they realize everyone knows.
He knows what a crush is, of course he does. But he isn't really sure what it feels like. That is, until Ally starts gushing to him about who she has a crush on.
She's at his house on a random Friday, and she's sitting next to him on his bed, and she won't shut up.
He loves her, he really does. (He would never say that, though. Imagine the horror of everyone misinterpreting what he means and thinking he's in love with her. They'd be singing wedding songs and calling her 'Mrs. Moon' for all eternity.) But she just talks so much.
"Ally, slow down," he says, laughing.
"Right, sorry. Well, you know Justin?"
"Yes, I know Justin. There are only fifty people in our grade."
"Oh yeah. Anyway, you have to promise not to tell anyone this."
"Promise."
"I kinda like him." She giggles and he raises his eyebrows. "He's just…he's so cute and whenever I see him I get all these butterflies in my stomach and I always wanna be with him!"
"That's what having a crush on someone is like?" he asks her. She nods.
Huh. He's thought that and felt that about Ally since the day he met her. He's been suspecting that he has a crush on her since the beginning of the school year, but it's only now that he realizes that he really does have a crush on her, and he's had one on her since the day he met her.
"Why? Do you have a crush on someone?" she asks, wiggling her eyebrows.
Nope. He's not doing this. He will never tell her. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever.
"No, I was just wondering," he says.
"Tell me!" Ally exclaims, seeing right through him. "We're best friends! I won't tell anyone!"
"I don't have a crush on anyone," he says. "Honest."
She looks at him for a while, then sighs.
"Fine."
With that, she resumes her rambling about Justin.
He's never really liked Justin.
He's still staring out the window. All he can think about is how much he misses her.
She's still his best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. He got over her in fifth grade when he met a new girl named Cassidy. She didn't really like him, but he didn't end up going back to Ally, which he was happy about.
At least, he thought he wasn't going back to her.
The water turns to land and he can't stop his heart from pounding as he thinks about how this is actually happening. He's actually seeing his best friend again for the first time in a year.
He thinks back to the last time he saw her.
All she can talk about is the two of them being seniors together, ruling the school at last. He listens to her patiently, knowing that at some point he's going to have to break the news.
"Ally?" he finally interrupts her.
"Hmm?" she says.
"We aren't even done with junior year. It's spring break."
"I know, but-"
"And I have to tell you something."
She tilts her head, looking at him expectantly. He tells her everything. Absolutely everything. And he's never been nervous to tell her something before. But this time, he's terrified.
"What's up?" she asks after his silence is drawn out a little too long.
"I'm moving," he finally blurts.
She blinks, and he's reminded of that first day he met her.
He feels that familiar tiny burst of butterflies. That's all he gets, all he has been getting since fifth grade when he stopped liking her. He hardly takes notice of it anymore.
"Oh. Where're you moving?" Her eyes brighten. "Wait, my neighbors were selling their house. Did you guys actually-"
"California," he says, avoiding her eyes.
"Calif-but we live in Miami."
"I know."
"You're moving all the way across the country?!" she exclaims. He swallows and nods.
"My-my parents are opening another store there. They've been wanting to move for ages."
"You're-you're really leaving?"
He nods.
"When?"
"Saturday."
"That's in four days."
"You haven't been to my house in a month."
"But-but Austin, this is home!"
"I know, Ally. I don't wanna move."
"I-I don't want you to leave," she says, her voice getting quieter as her eyes fill with tears.
"I know," he says, his own voice cracking.
She didn't say it, but he knows. 'I don't want you to leave me.' One word makes all the difference. So much that she can't bring herself to speak it.
He pulls her into him, tightening his arms around her. She wraps her arms around his midsection as the tears escape her eyes.
The next four days, they are inseparable. And when the final day comes, he holds her and holds her for hours. When he leaves, he watches her, waving in his old driveway, until the car turns the corner and she's gone.
The plane has landed and he waits impatiently to be allowed to get off. He drums his fingers on his leg and purses his lips. He checks the time and sighs in relief. He still has two and a half hours until she gets out of school.
His mind wanders to what their reunion is going to be like. They haven't seen each other in a year and they hardly have time to talk. They text as much as possible, video chat and talk on the phone when they can, and they even write letters. But it isn't enough.
He's so lost in thought about her that he doesn't even notice that almost everyone has gotten off the plane. He quickly grabs his carry-on and follows everyone else to the plane's exit.
Baggage claim is a nightmare. He loses count of how many bags he watches go by until he finally spots his own.
He knows it's his because it has his name stitched on the front in orange lettering, courtesy of Ally.
He grabs the suitcase and rolls it outside, taking his phone off airplane mode and waiting for Ally's parents to come pick him up. He checks his watch every three seconds, and he calculates that he now has an hour and a half until Ally gets out of school. His heart pounds at the thought of seeing her.
He sees her mother pull up next to him with a smile on her face. He smiles too and hugs her tightly when she gets out to help him with his luggage.
She's like a second mom to him. Sometimes, he even calls her with his problems instead of speaking to his own mom.
"I missed you," he says when they're both in the car.
"We missed you too," she replies. "How's California?"
"Hot, humid, not much different from Miami."
"How're the beaches?"
"The waves for surfing are better there, but I'd still way rather live here. Miami will always be home."
He sees Penny smile a bit.
"Are you sure it's Miami that's home?"
"What do you mean?"
"Home isn't so much a place as it is a feeling."
He knows where this is going, and makes a whiny groan.
"I haven't even been in the car five minutes, and you bring that up?"
"I don't beat around the bush."
"Yeah, I know. I'm best friends with your daughter."
Penny chuckled and lets him off the hook, changing the subject. They talk about school, and she congratulates him on his good grades. He asks her how her six month trip to Uruguay was, and she tells him all about it.
Before he knows it, he's carrying his bags into Ally's house. It's the same as he remembers it. After dropping his things off in the guest bedroom, he walks into Ally's room to look around.
She has a new bedspread, new wallpaper, and new curtains. There are more framed pictures on her wall than he remembers, and they're all of her with Dez and Trish. He mentally photoshops himself into them.
Then there are the older pictures on her wall, some from only a year ago, and some dating as far back as before they started kindergarten. He's in most of them, and they're smiling and laughing like the best friends they are.
He sees little pieces of himself all over the room. A letter he wrote her folded on her desk. A necklace he got her for her sixteenth birthday hanging on a hook. One of his hoodies (he's been looking for that since he moved) draped on the back of a chair.
He smiles, happy that she thinks of him almost as much as he thinks of her.
He checks the time again, and sees that he's only got a half hour till the end of school. He asks Penny to use her car, and she agrees without hesitation. He thanks her and drives to the school.
He sits in the parking lot, looking at his old high school. He misses it there. He really, really does. He imagines Trish sleeping in class while Dez sees how many objects he can balance on his nose. And then he imagines Ally furiously taking notes and shushing people who aren't even talking.
Ally. He can't believe he's seeing her in person in a matter of minutes.
It took moving to California, but he's finally realized that he is completely in love with his best friend. And that he never really stopped liking her at all, but that he learned how to suppress his feelings when they weren't necessarily convenient.
Granted, his feelings aren't convenient now that he lives thousands of miles away from her, but this is love. You can't suppress love.
He told her mother a few days after the realization dawned on him, because he was kind of freaking out and wanted to know if Ally had said anything about him. Penny was thrilled, but Ally hadn't said anything.
He hears the bell ring and is jerked out of his thoughts. His eyes widen because she's coming and she'll be here any minute. He gets out of the car and leans against it so she sees him.
He knows she walks to school, and it would be awful if she walked right past the car.
He scans the crowd of high schoolers, waving absently to a few of his old friends. He stands on his tiptoes to try to see better, and he notices a mop of red hair, which can only be Dez. He shifts his eyes to the left and down, and he just barely sees Trish's curly black hair. Even more to the left, and he sees her. He breaks out into a grin and looks over to Dez again, who meets his eyes.
He hears Dez shout his name from all the way over there, and he hears the girls scream when they take notice of him. Then they're all running towards him and he's running towards them and suddenly he's being tackled to the ground in a hug so tight he's sure he's broken a few ribs but he honestly doesn't care right now because he's here. He's actually here with his best friends again. He's here with her again and he doesn't even have to look to know that she's the one directly on top of him.
Trish and Dez get up pretty quickly, and they're standing in a shocked silence.
But Ally stays where she is, her head buried in his chest and her arms around his neck (which he's almost positive he's crushing between his head and the ground, but she doesn't seem to mind). His arms are wrapped around her waist as tightly as possible and his heart is pounding and it strikes him, now that he's with her for real, just how much he actually loves her.
She gets up eventually, wiping a few tears from her face. The four of them hug again before anything is actually said.
"What're you doing here?!" Dez exclaims, breaking the silence as they pull away from the hug.
"Surprise!" Austin says, grinning even wider than he already was because none of them have changed. "I'm here for spring break!"
"All of it?!" Trish asks. He nods.
"I fly home next Sunday night. I'm here all nine days!"
"Where're you staying?" Dez asks.
"Ally's house." His arm is still around the brunette's shoulders. She hasn't spoken yet, but her arm is wrapped around his midsection.
"How did you-when-" she splutters.
"I've been planning this for months!" he says excitedly. "I planned it all out with your parents!"
"And you didn't tell me?!"
"It would've ruined the surprise!"
She's silent for a few seconds, and then she's hugging him again. He wraps his other arm around her and closes his eyes.
"Well, um, call us later so we can all hang out, okay?" Dez says.
"Okay," Austin says. He hears Dez and Trish walk away, talking in frantic whispers.
"I can't believe you're here," Ally whispers into his chest.
"I'm here, Ally." He tightens his grip around her.
"I missed you," she says.
"I know. I missed you too."
"I know."
"I love you." He doesn't mean to say it, but his feelings are so strong right now he can't help himself.
"I love you, too."
He pulls away from the hug to look at her.
"No, like I actually love you. I'm in love with you. I have been for months and I know it's insane because we've been apart for so long and how could I be in love with you if I haven't even been seeing you but I think I've been in love with you for years and I just haven't known it because I know I started falling for you the day we met and I pushed you on the swing set and you were laughing and being so incredibly you that I was falling before I even knew what that meant and I've always known I needed you in my life but I'm just realizing how much I actually need you and-"
"Slow down," she says. He takes a deep breath.
"Sorry, I just…I am so in love with you, I…" he trails off, his mind racing so fast he can't even think straight.
"I love you, too," she says. He blinks at her. "I understood the first time."
Somebody pinch him, he must be dreaming. He knew he loved her, but he had never even considered that she might love him back. Especially since her mom said that she hadn't said anything. But here she is, telling him she loves him with the biggest, most lovestruck grin on her face and he knows she's telling the truth.
Without hesitation he takes her face in his hands and kisses her and this is everything he's been hoping for since he knew what kissing was. Fourteen years of knowing this girl and he's finally kissing her, finally getting her as his and he doesn't care about the fact that they live thousands of miles away from each other because he knows they'll work it out. They're graduating soon and then it's off to college. They're already planning to go together and honestly nothing could be more perfect than the thought of them going to college as a couple.
He pulls away first and smiles at her. She smiles back.
"Long distance relationships hardly ever work out," she says, but he knows from that grin that she knows they're gonna be okay.
"We have experience working a long distance friendship for a year."
"Then there's nothing stopping us, is there?"
He shakes his head.
"Your mom was right."
She tilts her head.
"I told her Miami will always be home to me. She said home is a feeling, not a place. She was right. Miami isn't home. This is. You in my arms with my heart pounding and me thinking of nothing but you and probably grinning like a complete idiot because I'm so lucky to have you and I'm so ridiculously in love with you that I can't even think straight. That's home. This is home. You're home."
She smiles.
"You're home, too."
He kisses her again.
He pushes his thoughts of going back next week far from his mind. He's here for nine days with his best friend. In about five minutes (after he asks her) she'll be his girlfriend, but he'll always refer to her as his best friend first. Because that's what she is, really. His best friend. She's his everything. They always say that it's best to fall in love with your best friend and now he understands why. He knows her already. He's seen her at her best and her worst and he still loves her unconditionally.
He's been homesick. Everyone in his family knows it. But he's almost positive that when he goes back, he won't be like that anymore. Now he knows. She's home. And now that she's his, he doesn't think that he'll ever truly leave home again.
Roses are red, violets are blue, reviews are lovely, and so are you. :)