Chapter Fourteen: Not Quite Safe
Sleeping soundly, I awoke to Varro's gentle caresses, telling me that he was getting up. He was always true to his word. He had expressed his dislike for waking to an empty bed and neither of us had since he had broken those words. He or I had always woken the other before leaving bed, something that I found most pleasing. Making a small noise in response, without opening my eyes, I turned my head toward his voice. Smiling as his lips found mine, he ran his hand down my face before his weight left the bed. Pulling the pillow against me, I nestled into it, falling back asleep as his steps moved away from me.
When I woke again I felt more rested then I had in some time. The baby was still and my nausea had diminished, largely in part to Otho's constant overseeing of nearly everything I did. He had been amazing in leading our people. Taking a heavy burden from my shoulders, making sure I took care of me and the baby before even thinking of anyone else in our company. On top of leading, he was attentive to any need I may have. When Varro wasn't near – or even if he was – he was always speaking to me of how I should be looking after myself. Something that didn't bother me, it was nice to be taken care of.
"Here. Eat." Otho told me as he sat on the edge of the bed.
"Good morning." I smiled as I sat up, keeping myself covered with a sheet as I took the water, bread, and peapods from his hands. "Gratitude." He nodded and looked at me, his eyes telling me that there was something he was here to say. "What is it, my friend?" I asked.
"It lifts heart to have members of my kin with us." He told me.
"Kin?" I asked. "Brother?"
"Yes." He told me. "Sedullus."
"He is the big burly one, is he not?" I asked him with furrowed brows as I nibbled the bread before taking a large bite of it, realizing I was far hungrier than I had thought I was.
"Slowly." He smiled at me. "And yes, the burly one."
"He's very enthusiastic." I replied.
"You're being too kind." He said and averted his eyes. "I know he is not the most charismatic."
"He's fine, Otho." I smiled at him.
"I fear he may cause trouble." He told me, the smile gone from his face. Frowning at him, I waited for him to explain. "He's always been troublesome. Always asking for trouble ever since we were young. I fear that he has not learned his lesson after all these years."
"We will help him." I smiled at him, wrapping my arm around his shoulder. He nodded and put his hand on my knee. "Did he bring word of your family?"
"He did." He nodded. "They are well."
"That is good." I beamed at him, getting a small smile in return. "He brings other news?" He nodded. "Otho." I frowned at him.
"He says they are well and continue to wait for me." He told me.
"Isn't that a good thing?" I asked. He sighed and nodded. "But what if you never make it home?" I added. He just looked at me. "You will make it home." I said putting my hand on his neck. "I will make sure you do."
"For the hundredth time, do not worry about me." He smiled.
"Always." I told him, his smile growing.
"Fine." He nodded at me.
"There you are." Our Lucius said coming into the room.
"What is it?" Otho asked.
"Your brother is causing trouble." He said dropping onto the bed at my other side.
"What sort?" He frowned.
"Hunting without Spartacus." He replied. We both frowned at him. "Spartacus told Agron that he wished to take them hunting come daybreak but the Germans left before Spartacus even woke." He explained.
"Agron knew and left without Spartacus after knowing his desire to go?" I frowned, getting a nod from him. Sighing, I nodded. "I must dress. I'll be with you presently."
"We'll wait outside." Otho told me with a tense jaw.
Nodding at him, I waited for them to leave the room, the curtain falling in front of the door before I removed the sheet. Standing in the nude, I put on a dress, moving to the door with a sigh. Passing the threshold, I didn't stop, my two guardians falling in step behind me as we moved through the temple. Coming to the entrance, I stopped at the top of the stairs, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. Other than the fact that neither Spartacus nor Varro were in sight.
"You move with purpose." Mira commented.
"Where are our men?" I frowned at her.
"They went after Agron." She told me. "He slights Spartacus at every turn. His patience wears thin. Agron has always been trusted as brother but appears to take his kin into more consideration than his loyalty to Spartacus."
Looking at Otho, he frowned, his jaw still tense, before he went off in the direction of the temple entrance. "He will set things right."
"How?" Mira asked.
"He is Sedullus' brother." I stated.
"Lea." Naevia smiled as she stepped up to me holding a portion of dried meat, offering it to me.
"Sister." I smiled, kissing her cheek as I accepted her offering. "How do you fare?" I asked.
"It is I who should be asking you." She replied as her hand momentarily found my stomach.
"We are both healthy and happy." I beamed at her. "And always hungry. Gratitude." I told her as I took a bite of the meat. I wasn't hungry but I felt the need to support her in everything she did right now.
"Lea." Oenomaus said stepping up to me.
"Everyone wants to speak to me this morning." I smiled, putting my arm around him as he did the same, placing a kiss against my forehead.
"I have yet to congratulate you." He beamed. "There could be no greater news under our current circumstances."
"Gratitude." I said as a slight blush rose to my cheeks.
"Varro is a lucky man." He continued to beam down at me.
"If only you and Melitta could have had such a blessing." I replied with a small smile.
"It would have been a beautiful child." He said rubbing my arm with his hand before dropping his arm.
Eliciting a soft cry of surprise, I found myself lifted off the ground and spun before being placed back onto my feet. Turning, I shoved Crixus as he grinned at me. "Ass!" I exclaimed. He simply leaned forward and placed a kiss against my cheek as he wrapped his arm around Naevia.
"It's a beautiful morning." He smiled, pressing a kiss against Naevia's neck. She beamed at his touch, putting her hand on his neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.
"It is." I smiled at him. "I am going to tend to the people."
"What more can you do for them today that you didn't do yesterday?" He asked with a sigh.
"I'm going to go find out." I retorted before walking away from them.
Walking through the camp, I helped all those that needed it, finding that very few did. There was little for everyone to do that needed any assistance at this point. There was washing to be done, clothes to be mended, and children to be looked after. Since little daily chores needed to be done, many took to the center of the courtyard to train. They were coming along well. From hand to hand, to the sword, and even the bow, people were constantly bettering themselves by excelling in which ever area they chose.
Taking up a bow, Mira and I stepped out into the wood, practicing with the others. Naevia and Crixus were practicing with the sword while Oenomaus oversaw the day's happenings. It was a relief to know that he stood with us. There was no more division between him and us and it made me feel safer. Despite Gannicus' decision to leave, everyone I cared about was finally under one roof.
"Good!" Old Lucius said as he paced behind the row of archers. "We will be able to make a significant dent if you all can perform this well under pressure."
The thought hadn't really occurred to me. At some point I would have to fight more than just a handful of gladiators or soldiers. At some point the skills I'd been learning would decide whether I survived or not when the real battles caught up with us. Our life here at the temple had made us feel safe and hidden and unable to be touched. Only one day that would end. We weren't ready for that. There was so much work that had yet to be done.
"Excellent, Lea. Mira. You two should be the ones teaching the others. Your forms have surpassed even my own." He told us.
Pulling back an arrow, I grinned, "Only because you taught us so well."
"Agreed." Mira added and we both released our arrows, watching as they buried themselves in the tree at nearly the same time.
Turning to her we shared a laugh before looking at Lucius. He gave a slow clap before he moved on, scolding another just down the line from us. Continuing to practice we stopped only when we heard commotion, turning to see Varro, Spartacus, and the Germans emerging from the wood. Sedullus carried a large boar over his shoulders, others holding flasks of wine and other food they looted from somewhere. The Germans were singing and laughing, pleased with their bounty, while Varro and Spartacus looked tense. Agron smiled at his men and frowned at Spartacus. Mira and I shared a look before we moved to follow, both of us concerned for what would happen next, knowing that Spartacus would not tolerate Agron undermining him for long.
Stepping into the courtyard, the Germans were still enjoying their catch, Agron include, while Varro and Spartacus stood with Crixus, speaking in hushed tones. Moving to them, I slipped my hand into Varro's; pressing close against his side.
"Hello, my love." He smiled and kissed me tenderly.
Smiling at him, I looked to my brother, "What do you need done?" I asked him.
"Everything is all right." He smiled at me.
"Spartacus." I frowned. "I am not so easily disarmed." He smiled and put his hand on my cheek. "Tell me what you need done."
He nodded, dropping his hand, "The Germans appear to be harder to control than I had originally anticipated. To make matters worse Agron seems to encourage their behavior versus helping me keep control."
"Then I will speak to Agron." I told him.
"I do not think your words will help." He said softly.
Raising a brow at him, I looked up at him, "Do you doubt my words? You who hold them above all others?" My seriousness melted away and I grinned at him.
He nodded, grinning back, "Fine. You try and make him see reason."
"I will." I told him confidently as I moved away from him. "Agron." I said stepping up to the gladiator.
"Lea." He smiled offering me the wine he was holding.
"No, thank you. I'm unable to take part in such celebration." I told him holding up my hand.
"Ah, yes, congratulations!" He exclaimed.
"Lower voice." I smiled.
"Apologies." He said putting his arm around me. "What can I do for you?"
"You can help Spartacus control your people." I told him bluntly. His arm fell away from me as he frowned. "He wishes to form a bond with your people, yet is finding it difficult with you undermining him at every turn."
"I do not undermine him." Agron stated his tone growing cold.
"Then why did you leave without him this morning?" I asked.
"My people were restless and eager to have a taste of freedom." He replied.
"And they couldn't wait just a few more hours for the man who leads them to rise?"
"It wasn't in attempt to cause unrest." He stated.
"Whether it was an attempt or not, you did, you are." I told him.
He straightened his back, looking down at me with judgmental eyes. "I will handle my people. Spartacus has nothing to worry." He told me with finality in his tone.
"I hope you are right." I told him before turning and walking away from him. Taking a deep breath, feeling annoyed, I returned to Varro and Spartacus. "Fine." I told them as I crossed my arms. "My words don't always have the same effect on people." They both smiled at each other and laughed at me. "At least I tried."
"Yes you did." Varro smiled pulling me against his side.
"Don't patronize me." I pouted.
He laughed again, placing a kiss against my hair. "Apologies."
"What now?" I asked Spartacus.
He simply looked at me. "We shall see."
Taking to the sand, we all released pent up frustrations as we trained hard with each other. Naevia and I were fighting hand to hand, landing hits as often as we could. Though she was more gentle than she could have been, always avoiding my abdomen. Then we paired with each other's men, knowing that we would gain more knowledge when it wasn't coming from someone who knew us too well. We attempted to have the Germans join us but I found them far too aggressive to work with, stepping off the sands, watching as they practiced with each other, picking fights with the others already a part of our group.
"Spartacus was right." I told Naevia as we watched.
"Yes." She nodded. "And now it will be our men who must deal with them."
Nodding, my stomach started to turn. "The thought turns stomach."
"The baby?" She asked.
"No." I smiled. "Just worrying for our men."
"They can take care of themselves." She smiled.
"I know." I told her, "And yet I can't help but feel the need to protect them. They are men after all. They do not think the same way as we do."
"A blessing." She smiled making me grin at her. "Come; let us take a little time apart from them."
Smiling, she took a flagon of water and a bowl of peapods before leading me to her and Crixus' room. Sitting on their bed we ate and talked. We started by talking about our latest predicament. Speaking of our men and our feelings toward everything that had happened. Her mind was slowly being put back together and she was becoming the sister I had known for as long as I could remember. Further proven as our talk turned from the present, moving to the past that both of us shared.
"Do you often think of our mothers and what they would think of what we are doing?" I asked her.
"No." She replied. "It's been a long time since they were alive. But I'd like to think they'd be proud of us."
"Even though we ruined the life they tried so hard to secure for us?" She nodded. "I wish I had known them better. I fear there are things they never told us. Things that might have been pertinent later in life."
"Like what?" She asked curiously.
"Did I ever tell you that my mother was in love?" I countered. She shook her head at me. "She didn't know that I knew. I caught her in her lovers embrace. My mind was full of questions that I never built up the courage to ask."
"What happened?" Naevia frowned.
"It was only a few weeks later that she grew ill and passed from this world." I replied.
"Do you know who he was?" She asked next. I smiled and nodded at her. "Who?"
"The man who has always looked out for me and given no reason as to why." I smiled.
"Oenomaus." She said with a sense of awe.
"He was young. It was before he met Melitta." I told her. "I've given him several opportunities to tell me but he's never once spoken of her. I don't think he ever wished to speak of it again. I fear he made her a promise to look after me."
"He's always held you in high regard." She commented.
"Yes, and I still don't have the courage to tell him I know." I smiled.
"You should speak with him about it. Bring him happy memories in this time of pain."
"No." I said shaking my head. "He is finally back on his feet and seems happy with where his life is. I do not wish to bring up difficult times."
"Someday." She smiled.
Nodding, I returned it, "Someday."
Moving to happier topics we talked all afternoon and into the early evening. Mira had joined us and the three of us made plans about our future. Mine more than theirs. They were planning for the end of my pregnancy and what would happen for when it came time to give birth. They even argued about the role both would play once it arrived. I wanted both of them to be an intricate role in my child's life. I wanted to know that my baby would be looked after if anything happen to me or Varro. It had to live. It would live.
When we finally left the comfort of Naevia's chambers, we followed the smell of meat, all of us ready to help feed the people who followed us. Smiling as I filled the plates, I was content to hand out food, watching as they all sat with friends and family, eating and laughing as they talked with each other. We had come far despite the struggles we still faced. When the last of our people were fed, my hand found my stomach as both me and the baby realized how hungry we were.
"Here." Varro said putting his hand on my lower back as he handed me a plate of food.
"Gratitude." I smiled up at him. "Have you eaten?"
"Not yet." He smiled as we sat at the top of the stairs.
"Then eat." I told him, holding the plate out for him.
He frowned and held up his hand, "No. I'm not hungry."
"Yes you are." I stated holding it out further. "I won't eat unless you share it with me."
"Think of our child." He told me with his melting half smile.
"I'm thinking of its father." I retorted.
Sighing, he took a piece of meat and started to eat it. Tearing off a piece of bread next. It was clear on his face that he was enjoying the food, not admitting to how hungry he was. Having snacked on peapods all day, I made him devour the majority of the food, knowing that he needed it just as much as me and our child.
"Octavia." He said randomly with his arms wrapped around me as I sat between his legs, hugging his arms to me.
"What?" I asked.
"If it's a girl I would like to name her Octavia." He explained.
"I think that's a beautiful name." I smiled stroking his arm. "And if it's a boy?"
"I was thinking Marcus." He replied.
"Why Marcus?" I asked, looking up at him.
"It was my father's name." He smiled as he gently ran his fingers through my hair.
"Then I approve." I smiled.
"Did you wanna name it after your mother if it's a girl?" He asked gently.
"No." I replied. "But gratitude for the thought."
"What was your mother's name?" He asked.
"Anna." I smiled.
"Also a beautiful name." He commented.
"Yes. But one that I wish to hold meaning for only my mother."
"Okay." He said and pressed his face into my hair.
Sitting quietly, content to simply be in each other's arms, I softly trailed my fingers up and down his forearm. His hand rested on my stomach, his fingers contracting every once in a while as if it were now a habit. As the sun set, people started to filter around us, taking a seat as small fights started to break out around the camp. It seemed to be in good fun but part of me was concerned that it could turn into something different in the blink of an eye.
"How are you feeling?" Antonia asked gently.
"I'm good." I smiled at her. She knew of the blessing I was carrying. "I'm eager to feel him move."
"You are weeks away from that." She smiled.
"I know." I nodded, resting my head against Varro's chest. "How are you? I've been told you've moved into Caius' tent."
"I'm well. We are well." She smiled awkwardly.
Seeing Caius across the courtyard, he was watching us. She put her hand on my knee, smiling genuinely before she stood and walked away. I was happy for her yet was still concerned. Caius and I had spoken only when necessary, making it awkward every time.
"I loathe him." Felix's voice said from behind us.
Looking up at him, he had his hands on his hips, staring across the courtyard. "As do I." I replied and stood, stepping next to him. "There was a time you used to worship him."
"I never worshiped him." He replied. "I simply believed he was a different man than he turned out to be."
"I know." I nodded depressingly. "I wished he was still the sweet man who saved us from Paulus' torment."
"As do I." He smirked at me.
Seeing Naevia walking to the temple alone, I put my hand on Felix's arm, smiling before I walked away from him. Stepping up behind her, I snacked on berries behind her as she lost herself in thought.
"What thoughts fill your mind?" I asked gently.
She jumped and spun toward me. "Lea." She said gently shoving me.
"Apologies." I smiled.
"My mind is plagued with days past." She replied sadly.
"Oh, Naevia." I said just as sadly as she did.
"Look! Two beautiful women!" Sedullus said as he stepped toward us.
"We are breaking words." I told him only to have him stand there looking us up and down. "Privately." I added.
"I love private things." He exclaimed with his thick accent, his words slurring from the wine he had drank.
"Leave us." I told him sternly, putting my hand on Naevia's arm. He stepped toward us. Putting my hand out, he didn't hesitate to step close enough to force me to press my hand against his chest. "Go now."
"Feisty." He grinned putting pressure on my hand, making my wrist pulse with pain.
"Sedullus." I said staring into his eyes. "Stop." He put his hand on my arm, gripping it with his strong hand. "I'm ordering you to stop." I said with all the authority I could muster.
"You're ordering me." He said as a frown moved across his face.
"You've taken part of too much wine." I stated. "Turn around and leave us."
"Lea." Naevia said moving to my side, feeling her gentle shaking.
Putting my hand across her abdomen I moved her behind me. "You need to go." I told him again.
Gripping my arm tighter, he nearly pulled me off my feet, making a gasp escape me. In the next moment Naevia attacked him only to have him backhand her, making her nose bleed. She had been so abused by men but seeing it first hand and the look on her face made me feel more rage than I ever had before. Screaming, I used all my force to shove him away from me, dodging his fist before slamming mine into his kidney. He was like an enraged bull, coming at me with such force it caught me off guard. He punched me hard, sending me to the ground dazed. Looking up, Naevia was shaking with such intensity, making me stand, facing him again. Once again dodging his fist, he was ready for me, burying his fist in my stomach, pain searing and a scream erupting from my throat. Falling to the ground, I wrapped my arm around my stomach, terrified of what had just happened. In the next moment Agron appeared, forcing the German away from me, throwing him into the courtyard with a feral yell.
"Lea." Naevia said rushing to my side.
"I'm afraid to move." I told her.
She stood and rushed away. I needed Varro, knowing that that was where she went was a small comfort. As soon as she was gone it felt as if time slowed down. My breathing was prominent in my ears as fear encompassed me. What if he had hurt the baby? What if I lost it? What would Varro think of me knowing that I had lost his child? Crying out in fear, tears streamed down my face, still remaining unmoving.
"Lea!" I heard Varro cry, looking up to see him fighting through the crowd that had formed. Only I recognized Crixus' yell as well, the crowd screaming as they watched whatever fight was taking place. "Lea." He repeated as he slid to his knees at my side.
"Our child." I told him with red eyes.
Fear crossed his face and he swiftly scooped me into his arms, calling for the healers before rushing me to our room. Soon I was surrounded with women, spreading my legs and pressing their fingers into my abdomen. All the while Varro held my hand, kissing the top of it while his other hand rested against the top of my head.
"Please." I said aloud. "Please, please, please, please, please."
"You're all right." Camila told me with a broad smile.
"Are you sure?" I asked gripping her arm.
"I am." She nodded. "There is no bleeding, the pain has already diminished, and there is no hardness to your abdomen. You are fine. The child is okay."
Nodding at her, unable to speak, I broke down with another wave of tears as Varro pressed his forehead against my temple, whispering 'Thank the Gods' and 'I love you' in my ear. Gripping him, I pulled him down to me, wrapping my arms around him as I sobbed into his neck. Camila and the others ran their hands along my thigh as they left; a comforting gesture that was much appreciated. When my sobs had finally slowed, I still gripped Varro, wishing never to let him go. My cheeks were still wet with tears, my body shaking from the fear that had yet to fully diminish despite the relief I was feeling.
"You are all right." He told me gently. "You are all right and are safe in my arms."
"Then never let me be from them." I told him as hot tears slid down my cheeks, sliding down his shoulder.
"Never." He said squeezing me tighter, hearing emotion enter his voice, a relief that both of us were feeling.
"Lea!" Mira exclaimed as she entered with Naevia at her side. They were clutching each other with concern written across their faces. Varro stood and faced them. "Varro." She said with a frown.
"Our child is safe." He nodded at her. "Come." He said stepping aside and allowing them to rush to the bed.
A new wave of tears came as I embraced my sisters, excepting their words of comfort to calm my heart, erasing the fear that still gripped me. Soon there were more footsteps and low voices were heard. Sitting, taking a deep calming breath, I looked to the entrance to see Varro speaking with Crixus and Spartacus. Then another voice entered as Agron attempted to burst through the door. His eyes met mine, fear in his eyes, though a fire burned in mine. Though he didn't make it past Varro. My love gripped Agron's throat as he moved to pass him, forcing him back against the wall with an angry yell, Agron's feet inches from the ground.
"Varro!" I called and swiftly went to him.
"If you had simply given Spartacus deserved respect than your people would not have been able to touch my wife nor Crixus'!" Varro screamed at him. "I should take your life right now and save future disappointment."
"He is still friend." I told him putting my hand on his shoulder from behind, my eyes moving to Agron's. "Lesson has been learned."
Varro took a step back, releasing Agron who dropped to the ground, gasping for air as his hand moved to his bruised neck. "The child?" He asked still looking at me.
"Safe." I replied.
"Lea." He said slowly getting to his feet. "I cannot convey how sorry I am for what happened. I never would have thought he would do such a thing."
"I did." I told him coldly. "I attempted to break such words with you which you ignored." He bowed his head in shame. "I can understand the joy of having your people with you. However, if you had listened to the concerns of those you claim as family this would never have happened. My child would never have been at risk for you would have helped Spartacus bring control to those that joined us. I wish I could accept your apology and yet find myself unwilling to do so."
He nodded, looking up at me with sadness, "I understand."
"Leave now." I commanded. Nodding again he quickly left the room. Spartacus quickly took me in his arms, embracing me tightly. "I am all right."
"You're sure?" He frowned as he released me.
"Are you sure the child is safe?" Crixus asked as he took me in his arms next.
Taking a shuddering breath, I buried my face in his neck. "I am sure."
"How are you faring?" He asked taking my head in his hands.
"I am well." I smiled. "I have the love and support of my family." Placing a long kiss against my forehead, he wrapped me in his arms again. "I love you."
"And I you." He smiled.
Placing a kiss against his cheek, I placed another against Spartacus' cheek as well before moving against Varro's side, having never felt safer. "What of Sedullus?" I asked.
"Dead." Spartacus replied. "I have their allegiance."
"Good." I said folding myself against Varro as he wrapped his arms around me.
"You should know that I ended Sedullus' life but Otho assisted in the wounding of him. He bared witness to his death and has not been seen since." He told me gently.
I nodded sadly, "I will break words with him."
"Rest." Mira said stepping forward, running her hand down my hair. Nodding at her, I embraced her, hugging her tightly before doing the same to Naevia. "If you are in need of anything, break words and I will see it done."
"Gratitude." I smiled at her. Watching them all leave, I sighed with relief, looking up at Varro.
"You are very much loved." He smiled taking my head in his hands. Nodding at him, I tilted my head up, leaning against his chest. Kissing me deeply he ran his thumbs back and forth across my cheeks.
"You called me wife." I smiled up at him.
"We may not yet be able to make it so, but know that I feel it with all of me. My heart is yours. In every way you are as wife to me."
"And you husband to me."
"Then let us not waste time with formalities. You are wife. I am husband. Just as it should be."
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my lips against his, letting his taste envelope me. "I must go see Otho." I told him as I moved from his embrace.
"Now?" He frowned. "You need rest."
"I will rest." I nodded at him. "But first I need to see to my friend. His brother was just killed in honor of my name. And Naevia's. I need to break words with him as soon as possible. It is my duty."
He sighed but nodded. Taking his head in my hands I kissed him passionately, releasing him before leaving the room. Pausing outside, I turned to see him sit on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees and his head lowered. He had been shaken just as much as I was; only he had kept his head while I fell apart. I was okay. Making it okay for him to fall apart. Stepping back inside, I knelt in front of him, taking his hands in mine.
"Do not fear, my love. Both me and our child are safe." I told him with a comforting smile. He nodded and kissed my forehead. "Do not let worry fill your mind. Everything has worked out."
"This time." He said putting his hand against my face.
"I will not make the same mistake twice." I smiled in an attempt to disarm him.
He gave a short laugh, nodding at me. "Go."
"Will you be all right?" I asked him. He nodded. "Varro."
"I must process what has happened and then I'll strike it from mind." He replied gently.
"Okay." I said kissing him before moving toward the door, looking at him over my shoulder until he was out of sight.
Moving through the villa, I experienced several gentle hands move across my arms and shoulders, a comfort to know so many cared for me and my newly growing child. When the sound of the villa grew quiet, I found Otho with a flagon of wine, a sad expression etched across his face.
"Otho." I said gently.
"Lea." He said attempting to stand though the wine prevented him from doing so.
Rushing to his side, I gently pushed on his shoulders so he sat again, "No. Sit."
He cleared his throat, not meeting my eyes, "Apologies."
"It is I who offers apology." I replied sadly. "I never meant for your brother to be killed."
"It was of his own doing." He stated coldly. "He knew what he was doing. He simply didn't care enough to halt such actions. I hope he did not cause any permanent damage."
"He did not." I smiled, gently shaking my head. Taking my friend's hand, I pressed it against my stomach. "He may not yet be moving but know that I am grateful for what you did. I know it must have been difficult for you."
"Not as difficult as you may think." He smiled as his hand relaxing against me. "Know that I will never break the vow I swore to you. I will never turn my back from you and will always be there to protect you."
"A sentiment that is much appreciated. Know I hold you to heart and wish for nothing less. I too will never turn from you no matter what may transpire." I smiled at him.
Smiling back, he put his hand against the side of my head, nodding his gratitude. Leaning forward, I pressed a kiss against his cheek. "Now go. Rest." He stated.
"Gratitude." I said before standing, giving him one last smile before I disappeared from sight.
Returning to Varro, I found him lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Smiling, I crawled onto it, lying partially atop him, moving over him to place my lips against his. Gently licking his bottom lip, I pressed my lips to his, giving him a passionate kiss. Letting it linger until need of breath, I sighed, resting my head against his chest. Feeling him relax, I knew that the night's events were melting from mind. Lingering on such things would only prolong the pain of it.
"Are you feeling all right?" He asked as he trailed his fingers up and down my back.
"I am." I told him softly. "More so with your hands against me." Expecting sentiment in return, I was met with silence, making me look up at him. "Varro?"
"I find myself once again drenched with fear. You are safe in my arms and yet I feel though the danger has yet to pass." He replied with concern in his voice.
Moving to my knees, sitting on my feet, I held his hand in my lap. "Do not let what happened take up so much thought." I frowned. "It is done and everything is all right. Just as you said it would be." He met my eyes but didn't say anything. "I worry that I am more of a burden to you than anything else." I stated, a pit falling in my stomach, the words turning to ash in my mouth.
"Lea." He frowned, sitting up, his tone as if he were speaking to a child.
"Do not take such tone with me." I told him. "It is not as ridiculous as you may think."
"Even if it were true it makes no difference." He stated with certainty.
"My wish for you is not to live in fear of what might happen to me. That is no way to live. I want you to be happy and free. To fight the Romans and make difference in this rebellion."
"None of it matters if you are not with me." He stated.
Smiling, I ran my hand down his face. "The same is for me. But I fear we need to learn distance from each other or we will fall the moment we are forced to separate."
"Even if the words you speak are true, I will never agree to them." He said taking my head in his hands. "I will never be apart from you. Even if we are forced in different directions, you will always be with me and I with you. We are stronger together. To whatever end."
Kissing him deeply, I nodded at him, "To whatever end."
Rolling me underneath him, his lips met mine. At first his kisses were gentle, holding himself above me. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I pulled him down on top of me, deepening the kiss until there was no space between us.
Falling asleep in each other's arms, I was content with the way the day ended. The events of the evening had cracked the feeling of safety that the temple had provided. Only now the feeling of safety had once again filled our home, Spartacus the high leader amongst all those that followed. Even in the darkest moment he made certain that we were safe and free.
Though – as it always seemed to be – I could not have the peace and happiness I so craved. Waking in the night there was a small pain in my stomach. Frowning, I rolled over only to feel dampness between my thighs and underneath me. Frowning, my heart racing, I sat and stared at the sheets. Candles still lit the room, casting flickering shadows, making my shaking less noticeable in the partial light. Gathering the courage to pull back the sheets, I already knew what had happened. I had seen it before. Had heard the sorrow filled cries that mothers had given for the loss of their child. Looking at Varro, I almost chose not to wake him, wanting to save him any pain. Finally pulling back the sheets, I took in the red that covered them, the cramping intensifying as a scream erupted from my throat without permission. Varro shot up, looking at me with a frown before he took in the bloody scene before him. Leaping from the bed he rushed from the room, leaving me alone. Slowly putting my feet over the edge of the bed, wanting to move away from the blood, I stood, only to feel something slip from inside of me. Unwilling to look, knowing what it was, I fell to my knees, feeling another wave of pain and warmth covering the floor underneath me.
When Varro reappeared, the shock in his eyes made it real for me. I had lost our child. Despite what we'd already overcome, I still lost him. Screaming with despair, Camila and those who assisted her rushed forward, taking my arms, moving me from the blood that was present. It seemed to be never ending. All I wanted was the blood to stop. There was one more unbearable cramp, clots falling from me before the pain and bleeding slowed. All the while I screamed and sobbed, unable to stop.
It felt like it took hours had passed when in reality it was just a fraction of that. To make it worse, I was kept separate from Varro. I needed to be tended to and they knew that he would only be a distraction. Not only that but commotion had been caused and they swiftly moved me into a small room far from the prying eyes of the temple. I was cleaned, sheets being placed between my legs to catch the blood that was still coming from me. Though it had slowed considerably. Even when it seemed the worst had passed, Varro was still kept from me. I was forced to drink more water than I could stomach, as well as leafy greens that stuck in my mouth and throat. I knew it was their job to tend to me but I needed Varro. I needed my husband.
"Varro." I said weakly as I lay on the edge of consciousness.
"Rest." Camila commanded.
"Varro." I repeated.
"He will be here when you wake." She said softly.
"Varro." I repeated a third time before everything fell away.