A/N: As promised, here's the next chapter! It's quite a bit different than I was planning, but I feel like the unspoken tension between Shadow and Boromir really needed to be resolved soon. So here's that resolution. It isn't pretty, but it is what it is. Thank goodness for Sam's sweet heart. Lots of angst, lots of anger, just like I like it. Enjoy!
~#*ITS*#~
Shadow watched as Boromir and Aragorn ran back onto what remained of the Bridge. Gandalf had just shattered it in order to send the Balrog down into the endless pit below. He watched as the whip curled around Gandalf's knees, pulling him downward, and tears poured from his eyes.
"Help him, Mister Shadow!" Merry begged.
"I-" Shadow's voice was weak. Not at all like himself. "I can't."
Before he'd run across the bridge himself, Shadow and Gandalf had said their silent goodbye. When Shadow had nodded to confirm that now was the time of Gandalf's fall, the wizard had reached out his arm. He and Shadow had grasped forearms for a moment, sharing a meaningful look between them. Then Gandalf had been the one to let go and face his enemy. Shadow, his arm still poised in front of him, had faltered for but a moment before turning to gather the Hobbits and move to flee.
Before he really knew what happened, Shadow found that he was running. Gandalf had disappeared over the brink of oblivion with a final order to run. Shadow had then scooped up Frodo and Sam, the two Hobbits closest to him, and began running. Legolas was not far behind him with Pippin struggling in his arms, and Aragorn came with Merry in the rear.
Boromir wiped out the only guards standing between the Company and freedom, and before long, they were all outside in the warm sun. They ran until bows would not be able to reach them, and at that point, Shadow sat the grieving Hobbits on the ground and turned back to the dark gates.
A black, gloved hand reached out toward the abysmal opening. The sounds of weeping were all around him as Shadow's own silent tears streamed down his face. He paused, arm outstretched. Aragorn watched him from where he knelt to comfort Frodo and Sam. With a final nod of goodbye, Shadow clenched his fist, and when he did, the gates shattered, collapsing the door to Moria and much of the tunnel behind it. The rumble of falling stone and the "doom" of the drums in the mountain far below gave the action a sense of finality.
"Will that hold them off?" Legolas wiped his eyes in vain.
"For a time," Shadow whispered. "They will find other ways to get out, but it has bought us time to grieve, at least."
With that, Shadow turned and walked off alone.
~#*ITS*#~
Shadow could hear the sounds of his companions' sorrow, but they were now a small distance behind him. The distance helped to ease his conscience, but it did not take away the feeling that he had betrayed his companion. Sacrificing one to save many had never been the way he operated. Shadow berated himself for not trying harder to fight against fate...
Fate...destiny...fixed points...
Were those words just excuses? He had been Gandalf's friend for many long centuries. Why had he so easily resigned to "fate"? He knew Gandalf would return eventually, but would he ever be able to forgive Shadow for allowing him to face a Balrog alone? Would he forgive Shadow for letting him die?
Surely there would have been another way for Gandalf to unlock the power of the Maiar. Surely there would have been another way to save Middle Earth...
Shadow felt the presence coming up quietly behind him. He felt the malicious intent. He couldn't bring himself to move or defend, however. Nothing the man could do would bring Shadow more pain than the torment in his own mind, and perhaps some part of the lonely Jedi believed that he deserved the punishment.
The feeling of the sword's flat against his head came as no surprise, but it left him reeling all the same. He stumbled and fell to his knees. As soon as he was on the ground, a pointed boot landed squarely where the spear had jabbed his ribs, forcing a strangled cry of pain to escape his lips.
Shadow rolled once and lay still, waiting for the next blow. Again and again, punches and kicks pummeled his body.
"Get up, and fight!"
The blood in his eyes from the initial attack blurred Shadow's vision, but the voice clearly belonged to Boromir. The Jedi said nothing. He got to his knees and sat as though meditating.
Back in the clearing where the others stood, Sam suddenly stopped his sobbing and raised his head.
"Sam, what is it?" Aragorn questioned.
"Something's wrong," the Hobbit's voice was shaking, though he wasn't sure why.
"What do you mean?" the Ranger's voice was gentle, but urgent.
"Shadow," Sam whispered, looking around for the Jedi. His brow was now covered in a cold sweat. "Something's wrong with Shadow."
At almost exactly the same moment, Aragorn noticed Legolas sprinting off to the east. His bow was drawn.
"Legolas?" he called. When no answer came, Gimli, Aragorn, and the Hobbits jumped up and followed.
"Fight me!"
Boromir kicked Shadow backwards, knocking the breath from his lungs. He then pounced, lifting the Jedi effortlessly by the shirt collar. Shadow remained conscious but limp in the man's strong grip.
"You led us into that Hell hole!" Boromir's voice was strained as he yelled, shaking Shadow violently as he did. "It was you that led us into Balin's tomb and trapped us! And when Gandalf stood fighting, you left him! How long have you been scheming for Sauron? Instead of plotting our deaths one by one, why don't you fight me now like a man?"
When Shadow didn't answer, Boromir reared back and punched while releasing his collar. Shadow collided with the hard ground and didn't move. He only lay where he landed, wheezing roughly. Boromir drew his sword again.
"If you won't fight, perhaps I should just end this now," he spat.
"Strike him again, and I'll be forced to end you."
Shadow blinked, trying to clear his eyes. Though it was fuzzy, he could make out Legolas's form behind Boromir. He had an arrow aimed directly at the large man.
Turning slowly, Boromir released a grim laugh.
"You would defend him?" Boromir motioned to the crumpled Jedi. "Clearly, he has betrayed us all! Thanks to him we are without a leader and heading on a death mission!"
"We still have a leader," Gimli ran up beside Legolas, breathless. "From here, I will follow Aragorn."
"And I!" Legolas echoed the sentiment. "Shadow has done nothing but good for all of us. We would have been trapped had we followed our original path. We all would surely have perished."
"Shadow!"
Still mostly blinded, Shadow suddenly felt very crowded. He slowly started to make out the lines of Frodo's face, and he could see the other three Hobbits standing between him and Boromir.
"Shadow, can you hear me?" Frodo placed cool hands on either side of Shadow's face. He drew one of them back quickly when he felt the blood that covered the right. Shadow nodded weakly.
"Shadow knew what would happen!" Sam yelled bravely. "That doesn't mean he made it happen!"
"Did you not see him while Gandalf fought the Balrog?" Boromir continued his rant. "Did you not see him turn and run? You all know he was perfectly capable of stepping in! He could have saved Gandalf!"
"Stop this Now!" Aragorn roared. Everyone froze. "This is doing Gandalf a great disrespect! Do you really think he didn't know what was about to happen on that bridge. Did you not see it? He and Shadow communicated something just before Shadow turned to leave. My guess is Shadow told him before we ever entered Moria exactly what would happen. I don't know why he couldn't prevent it, but I have no doubt that Gandalf did!"
"He did," Pippin spoke up timidly. "I heard them talking about it once when they thought we were all asleep. I didn't know what they were talking about at the time, but it makes sense now."
Aragorn urged him to continue.
"Gandalf asked Shadow why he didn't want to go through Moria," Pippin's voice trembled. "Shadow said something about fixed points in time...things he couldn't change. Gandalf guessed he wouldn't make it out of Moria, and Mister Shadow said he was right. Something about shadow and flame...Gandalf said he understood...That's all I heard before I dozed off."
"Shadow knows when and how all of us will die," Sam picked up where Pippin left off. "Some events he can change...some he has no power over."
"Sam..." Shadow wheezed.
"No, it's alright," Sam turned and addressed Shadow gently. "I saw...At Balin's tomb. I saw everything: the fire, the faces...I felt how much it all hurts you."
The Company exchanged confused glances.
"In Bree, Shadow saved my life," Sam turned back to answer the questions no one was speaking. "I was run through by a Black Rider, but Shadow saved me. I still don't really understand how he did it, but he gave me his own blood and closed up my belly. When he did, it changed me somehow. We can speak to each other without talkin'...but sometimes the stuff we don't mean to say gets out too."
"Sam, how long has this been going on?" Aragorn's voice was filled with quiet wonder.
"We realized it on the first night in Moria," Sam answered. "I could see pretty well in the dark, and Shadow was thinking about how he'd wondered if his blood would do things to me."
"Well, then, you better than anyone can settle all this madness," Aragorn said softly. "If you can see Shadow's mind, then you know his intentions."
"Oh, yes! I sure do!" Sam insisted earnestly.
"Well, then, put this hot-head's mind to rest," Gimli grunted. "Shadow has been good to the Dwarves of Erebor. That's good enough for me, but if you lot need to hear the words from someone else, so be it."
"If he is trusted by Lord Elrond and Lady Daiel, I have no reason to seek other proofs of his loyalty," Legolas stated, lowering his bow slightly for the first time.
"I think I can safely speak for the Hobbits and myself," Aragorn nodded. "I have witnessed his willingness to lay down his life for them and this mission on more than one occasion. I can trust my own eyes without needing to know his mind."
After a tense moment, Boromir sighed in resignation. He reluctantly sheathed his sword.
"I suppose I'm the only one with reservations," he muttered. "If you're all so sure, I'll give it up."
"No," Shadow's raspy voice made them all turn. He struggled for a moment to prop himself up on one elbow. "We are the Fellowship of the Ring. If we have no trust in one another, we will surely fail. Aragorn and the Hobbits have been with me from the beginning. Gimli and Legolas have previous ties to myself and my history. You are the only one being asked to blindly trust me. You need to hear what Sam has to say. In my grief, I left my mind open, and he saw painful things. For that, I am so sorry, Sam. I will be more vigilant in the future. Please, tell them what you saw."
Sam thought hard for a moment, reluctant to share things that were so close to Shadow's heart.
"When he was singin' about the Dwarves, I saw them," tears filled Sam's eyes. "I saw Master Balin and Master Gloin."
Gimli's ears perked up at this news.
"I saw fire everywhere," Sam continued. "I could feel how hot it was on my skin. Then I saw people cryin' and carryin' on...I saw Thorin Oakenshield and all the others who died that day...I felt Shadow's pain and loss. Then I saw faces from other worlds, and I knew them. I remembered battles fought by their sides. I remembered their deaths, and I felt so grieved I almost couldn't breathe. Then I saw Mister Gandalf..."
Here, Sam had to pause. The sobs that shook his body made it difficult to speak. Merry rubbed his back.
"I saw Gandalf, and I knew that he would die," Sam whimpered. "Shadow knew that to save him, even if he could, would mean to doom all of Middle Earth...and now that it's over, he blames himself just as much as you blame him, Mister Boromir. He feels as though he should have tried harder and found another way to save us. He feels like he deserved that beatin' you gave him..."
"Sam..." Shadow whispered.
"But he didn't," Sam turned to look at Shadow. "He didn't deserve it one bit. He's more powerful than he's even showed us, but sometimes there's just nothin' to be done. Sometimes things just have to happen. Don't they, Shadow?"
"Yes, Sam," Shadow choked out.
"And you know what, Mister Boromir?" Sam turned fiercely on the towering man. "Shadow knows how you're going to die too, he does. Knows good and well. And you know what? He's already made a promise to save you too. You should be thankin' him...not beatin' the livin' daylights outta him...and that's that."
After a moment of stunned silence, Aragorn spoke.
"I trust you've heard all you need?"
Boromir only nodded, looking as though he'd been slapped.
"Come on, then. It's a long way to Lothlorien yet, and these hills will be crawling with Orcs come nightfall."
Carefully, Legolas and Gimli lifted Shadow to his feet. Aragorn went on ahead to find their direction.
"Shadow, I-" Boromir started, but Shadow cut him off.
"It's alright," he promised. "As I said, for someone who had no reason to trust me, things would have looked pretty grim. I don't blame you for doubting me."
Legolas gingerly placed an arm around Shadow's waist, and Shadow leaned heavily on him while they walked off after Aragorn and Gimli. The Hobbits followed behind them, leaving Boromir alone with his thoughts for a brief moment.
"I was wrong about him," he muttered quietly before heading after the others.
~#*ITS*#~
A/N: I'm rather torn, and I need your help. My original intention was to keep Shadow's identity a secret until the very end of the story because that's when the rest of the Fellowship will find it out. While writing this chapter, though, I became very torn. I almost wrote in a section where Boromir punched the hood right off of Shadow, and they all saw who he really is. The danger, though, is that at least two of the Fellowship will come face to face with Sauron later through the Palandir, and I just don't think it would have been safe for them to have that piece of info in their minds. My question for those of you who like to review, (my faithful reviewers' opinions will be taken heavily over guests...sorry...) if you had a choice, would you REALLY like to know who Shadow is? I feel like breaking it out at this point is...well, the biggest spoiler in the whole story. So. Even though I know you're dying to know...would you like to know NOW, or do you want to be patient and find out as per my original plan? Review to let me know!