Gil woke up with a smile on his face. His ruby eyes opened slowly as he turned his head to look at Matt.. But he wasn't there? His brow furrowed. Maybe he was in the bathroom? Gil sat up stretching, joy was racing through his whole body. Pulling his knees up, he wrapped his arms around them. Placing his chin on top he went over the memory again, his eyes misted over slightly. Matt tasted so sweet, the smell of his hair, the feel of his- Hold up. Gil had glanced over at the empty side of the bed. There was a note on the pillow.

Dear Gil

I have a few things I need to figure out, I think we may have rushed this a bit. I just need to think things through. Can you give me time to do that? I'm really sorry I didn't wake you up to tell you, but I don't think I could have gotten it out to be honest. I'll give you a call later okay?

- Matthew

Gil stared at the paper blankly. He read it over and over hoping the words would change. Setting the letter down Gil stood up numbly, grabbed his phone, and walked out of the bedroom. Knowing full well what he'd find, he headed for the guest room. As he suspected, all of Matts things were gone. Gil slid down the wall and sat on the floor. His hands went to his hair and he stared at the floor. no tears, not yelling, just staring. Gil sat there just waiting and hoping for a call.

Matt sat nervously in the coffee shop. This was a bad idea... He didn't think any of this through. He should of stayed at the house, he should have talked to Gil face to face. He definitely shouldn't be here, especially when no one knew he was here... He couldn't very well text Gil... His only other contacts were his parents, (they were out. he only saw them once a year and they had no clue about any of this.) or Francis. He sighed and typed a quick text.

"Hey, I'm fine, just getting coffee with Al. "

He pressed send and turned the phone to silent. He could play it off as a wrong number text. Francis had no clue what was going on, it wouldn't alarm him, but if anything happened... Matts eyes widened, the fact that he was thinking that way was proof he shouldn't be here... He was contemplating getting up and leaving now when the door opened letting a cold breeze blow Matts hair around. In he walked.

Matts eyes looked over his coffee at Al. He looked rough. dark circles, a five o'clock shadow, his clothes were rumpled. His hair was a bit unkempt, but it just looked like his hands hadn't really left it alone. Als lips trembled as he fired off apologies and promises. Matt wasn't really listening, he looked back down at his coffee. His eyes wandered to his wrist, he still had very slight shadows of bruises from the more serious injuries, Als eyes kept flickering to the side of Matts face at the yellow tint.

As if reading his mind Als hand rose to try and touch Matts face gingerly. Matt jerked back away from the hand, eyes wide open. Tears and shame filled Als eyes as he dropped his hand and his head.

"Mattie... I don't know why I keep doing this... You have to believe that I never wanted to do that kind of damage.. Any kind of damage "

Matt didn't know what to say. He would usually say It's okay, but it wasn't was it?

"If you want to see the fucking damage you did" a cold familiar voice came from behind Matt making him tense slightly "You should look at this douche"

A small pile of photos from the hospital of Matts injuries hit the table. They spread themselves in front of Al. His eyes widened in shock at the sick bruises and swelling that had taken over Matts face and torso. Matt cringed catching sight of the ugly purple that had covered a good portion of his face. then he looked up into the angry red eyes behind him. "Hey Gil" he said weakly

"Up Matt. I understand if you don't want to stay with me for a few days... Or however long... But this? This is fucking stupid. Totally not awesome."

Matt wasn't sure if he should be irritated at being ordered around, guilty for even being here after last night, or simply relieved for the rescue. He stood but didn't move. He looked down into the tear filled sky blue eyes sadly.

"Al, you know I love you... But If you love me, you'll understand that I can't come back to you. Those photos... That night I kept blaming myself. Wondering what I did wrong. It took a while to understand, this wasn't my fault. We're not healthy for each other... Goodbye Al."

Al just looked up, tears running down his face. He watched Matt turn and be lead out the door by Gilbert. His face fell to his arms as he sobbed over the pictures they had left.

Unbeknownst to Matt, Gil had phoned Francis. He was hoping that was Matts next stop. If he at least knew he was safe, that was something. When Francis explained explained the text he got Gil hadn't wasted time. He hung up on the very confused Francis (Poor guy felt so out of the loop these days) and gathered the photos and his coat. He went to three different coffee shops until he found them. Matt may not want to face things with him right now, but he wasn't about to stand back and watch that ass face win him back so he could finish the job.

The car ride away form the coffee shop was quiet. Gil had ignored Matts truck in favour of his car. they drove through town without music. Matt looking at his lap and Gil looking at the road. Finally they came to a quiet road and Gil pulled over. "Where am I taking you Matt? I can get West to help me move your truck later. " his voice was hard. Matt could hear him hiding the pain behind it.

Matts eyes shifted to the side, He looked up at Gil through soft blonde waves. The albinos posture was stiff, his knuckles were white holding the steering wheel. He hadn't noticed the red around his eyes, or the moisture still there. Matt felt like shit.

"Can I come back to your place?" he asked in a tiny voice. He still needed to think things out, but maybe he was too hasty in his departure.

Gil threw the car into drive and turned right headed for his house. Matt used the time to look out the window and think. Could he do this? It wasn't a case of if he wanted Gil. He did. It wasn't just looks. Matts eyes slid over to the driver in the tight black shirt. though he definitely had the looks. It was more about Gil himself. He had known him for all those years, their personalities already melded well. If they fought neither fought dirty, and it never lasted long, they could easily joke, knew each others quirks (Matts obsession with everything maple flavoured and Gils dedication to little yellow birds on anything he could put them on) and pet peeves (Gil hated if people left cupboard doors open, while Matt had a thing about table manners). They had lived together for three years in college. But the last three weeks gave Matt even more reasons.

Gil had jumped to the rescue in a flash. He was careful with conversation when he knew Matt could hear. When he didn't know Matt could hear he was furious about the situation, he had talked his brothers ear off for an hour one night. After a week at his house, Gil had gone to open a beer. Matt had unintentionally flinched, and Gil noticing, promptly poured it down the sink and grabbed water instead. Every nightmare he had been there for, the crying he listened to endlessly, the constant reassurance...

But, could Matt be enough for him? He was broken. He flinched at everything these days. He had no job, no money, no self esteem. He was littered in bruises and scars. He had no idea how he was going to handle anything. Hell! Matt was still married, if only on paper. Gil deserved better then this right? He should have someone whole. Someone who won't wake up sobbing in the middle of the night, or who's on the verge of tears from the slightest argument. What if he flinched when Gil touched him? What if he started sobbing over everything that happened and Gil still had to watch him crumble over another man? What would people say?

But Gil had said... He loved him... Matt wasn't there yet... Was it okay? Was Matt even allowed to be happy yet?

He jumped when he noticed they were at Gils place already. He sighed. okay Matthew, time to get it together. You owe him a conversation.

yay new chapter! I was trying to finish this last night... but a head ache hit half way through! . I'm suppose to wear glasses for reading, but I broke my nose a few years back, didn't fix it, and now it can't stand the weight. maybe I should get a monocle. either way! lesson: Fix broken body parts!

you may be asking yourself, Is that the last we'll see of Al? He didn't fight it very hard? hmmmmm who knows! more chapters to come :)