Chapter 24: Ridiculous to the Max

"Aden, this is ridiculous."

I squinted at the picture. "His right eye is definitely brown," I masterfully observed, lifting the picture closer to my face to get a better look. I was brilliant at this sort of thing.

SWISH

"Hey! Give that back! We need that for the wanted posters you are going to make!"

Officer Jenny crumpled the picture in her hand. "With all due respect, sir, we are not going to find the robbers by putting up wanted signs of security tape snapshots. The pictures are too blurry, and the robbers had their faces covered. Plus, they were with Team Glop'emm. If we cannot even find their base, how are we going to find the individuals?"

"One of them has brown eyes," I replied definitively.

"Aden, the snapshots are in black and white."

"But…" Unfortunately, even I, the great me, could not defeat that logic.

"We have not been able to find any traces…" Jen blabbered away. No new information, blah de-blah. I could be out there searching for those scoundrels myself! Or hanging up wanted signs. Maybe someone in town had seen….

"That's it!" I yelled. Jen yelped and tripped backwards over an office stool. My awesome booming voice tended to have that affect on people.

"What now?" The officer gave me an annoyed glare as she dusted her pants off. But no way was I going to wait and explain. I had a brilliant idea! Muwahahahaha! It needed immediate implementation! Now where was that phone? I shuffled some papers around Jen's desk until- aha! – I found the phone.

"I've already thought of that, Aden." Tamara answered the phone before it even rang... as well as my thoughts before I spoke. But it was impossible. She couldn't have thought of my brilliant idea already! It was so… brilliant!

"There is no way you came up with the idea of making wanted signs for our favorite missing person without reading my mind!" I accused.

I heard a sigh. "Actually, Nai came to me with the idea the day our gym leader went missing. She thought that even though we had no photographs of him, I should be able to project his image into an artist's mind, who would then be able to create an image. In theory, she should be right… even if he does have dark powers, I should be able to project a simple image of him into another's mind. I tried. I failed. Aden, I do not understand why, but I cannot do it. I did not wish to disclose this information to the others, as I would be creating a false sense of insecurity."

"You sound fairly insecure," I said seriously. "Is there anything else wrong, you know, with your powers?"

"Nothing at all. It is a small matter, Aden, do not worry. And I would be grateful if you told nobody else of this conversation."

"Alright…" Tamara had already hung up the phone. Bleh, psychics.

I turned around, only to find Officer Jenny an inch away from me. "What was that about?" she shouted.

"Apparently, nobody likes my wanted poster idea," I mumbled.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

…according to ancient Pekanian legend "blue fire fell from the sky…leaving only ash." This could be a reference to Mew's supposed regenerative lifecycle, rumored to occur every five thousand years. This destructive blue fire, however, seems to have been witnessed twice in the past hundred years— the already discussed Cherrigrove City and Vintage Village incidents. Several questions arise from the short period between these incidents. Is Mew's lifecycle as long as the legends suggest? Does Mew actually have a phoenix-like lifecycle?

I slammed the musty book shut, dust visibly swirling around the page corners.

This research was useless.

They asked all the wrong questions.

"Again."

A small boy with dark hair and lean features aimed a punch at his father's stomach. The father stopped the boy's hand before the blow could hit.

"What did I tell you about flailing about?" the father scolded.

The boy looked at the rough grass beneath his torn shoes.

"Answer me. Where does power come from?"

"From the base, father. From my legs."

"Look at me." The father put a gentle hand under his son's chin. Green eyes connected. "Power is always built up. To make even the slightest inefficient and unbalanced movement is to lose power. Do you understand?"

The boy nodded.

"No, you don't. But one day you will. Again." The boy thrust his arm forward, faster this time. The father let his son's fist connect with his stomach, wincing slightly. The boy lost balance and fell over, cradling his wrist from the impact. "Better—"

The father looked over his shoulder, as if someone had called his name. "Tal may have found something a mile into Apoosh Forest. Let's go."

The man took off running after giving an expectant look to his son. The boy knew he had to keep up.

For every one of his father's strides, the boy took three. Still he pushed forward.

The trees became thicker, and the boy stumbled on a root. The father did not slow. "Why do we do this?" the father asked.

"To train," the boy replied by rote.

"Train?" the father repeated.

"Train to be like a Pokemon. To be successful, a trainer must be able to think and fight as if the trainer was in the Pokemon's position."

"Excellent. At least your mind is sharp."

An Alakazam appeared before the man, its legs shaking slightly. The man and boy slowed down. "This better not be a false alarm—not another Grumpig like last time." The Alakazam shook his head and pointed into the dark woods. "Very well." The Pokemon disappeared in a flash of red. In its place stood a Houndoom.

As the dog sniffed the air, the boy smiled. "Houndoooooom!" The Houndoom ran into the woods, closely followed by the father and son.

Not ten minutes later, the Houndoom growled and circled a large berry tree. The father looked up. A pink Pokemon cradling a delicious-looking Oran berry rested in the topmost branches.

The boy's stomach growled as the Pokemon took an enormous bite into the berry, spraying berry juice across its face and the tree bark. A drop landed in the boy's hair.

"Charmeleon, now!" the father yelled, releasing a Charmeleon. The fire Pokemon leapt into the tree, quickly bounding up the branches, as the father flung what looked like an over-sized black and yellow Pokeball.

Just as the Charmeleon and the ball reached the upper branches of the tree, they froze. The pink Pokemon gave the father a pleading look, but almost seemed to be looking beyond the father. {Why?} It quickly floated above the tree tops out of sight.

"Tal, which direction?" the father demanded, releasing the Alakazam once more. The psychic Pokemon's spoons bent in concentration and pointed deeper into the woods. A sweet scent of pine and dew grew stronger as the father, son, and Pokemon pursued the pink creature.

The Alakazam stopped. {It's gone.}

"Gone? That's not possible!" the father exclaimed.

{I can no longer sense its presence.}

"You mean it teleported? It could not do that before!"

{Maybe. However, I should still be able to sense its existence. I cannot feel the creature.}

The father pulled out three Pokeballs. "I pushed you too hard, Tal. We'll try again later." After all of the Pokemon were returned to their Pokeballs, the father kicked the ground in frustration.

"Father?" the boy asked timidly.

Composing himself, the father replied, "Yes?"

The moss-covered trees were calm—not a branch wavered. The air was light and peaceful.

"That Pokemon destroyed our village and Lily's parents?"

"Yes."

The boy hesitated. "Then why are you trying to capture it? Why not kill it?"

"That Pokemon is not like normal Pokemon. Mew is legendary. It is dangerous and immortal."

"So how can you kill it?"

The father smiled down at his son. "That's my son, always asking the right question."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

{868,013, your barrier is weak,} Lieutenant 868 yelled.

I poured more psychic energy into my barrier. It was not fair. The others were older and more experienced and stronger…

{868,013—age is no excuse! 868,012, show 013 how weak that barrier is!} Another Mew appeared next to me. I was not surprised. That had happened a lot this past week.

The Mew's fist lit up. I prepared for the worst—and felt my head explode into several million shards as 012's fist shattered my barrier.

{013, you are not a theater major! Stop the drama! Have I taught you nothing this past week? Get back up! You have very little time remaining—let's practice your teleportation.}

Feebly, I floated a foot off of the ground. 012 towered over me. A blur of pink whipped towards me at a speed I could not possibly block.

I closed my eyes and prepared for the blow that would never hit.

Green light, like a forest—

I woke up panting.

It was dawn. The sun peeped over the horizon, as if welcoming me back into the physical world. I took several deep breaths to calm myself and purge the distinct smell of my dream from my system.

I did not want to believe it. It was not possible. Not so soon… But the visions kept coming, even after we left Mint Mountain. I worked hard to clear my mind every day before Anita woke up so I wouldn't worry her, but it was getting harder.

The last time I had so many visions…

But no. This must be something else.

I would not allow myself to disappear now, of all times.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

The glittering sunlight shone brightly upon our fur, comforting us in a chewable-squishy-fuzzy-slippers kind of comfort.

At least that's how Apple described it, and she's the coolest so she'd know.

Now though, Apple was busy with our trainer so it was up to me to make fun and be cool. "Attention!"

"So the Mudkip replied…" Vanilla chattered to Allo.

"No, a truck sounds like Vrorom-rooom! Not Vrooom-um!" Tweal argued with Missy.

"Ehem!" I cleared my throat. "I said ATTENTION!"

Everyone was quiet. Normally, I didn't like quiet, but this was a good quiet. Maybe a fuzzy-slipper quiet. "Now, you all know why we are gathered here…"

"Actually, we don't, Splash," Vanilla interrupted. "We were all happily munching away on our nutty nibbles—" Missy made a puking noise. "—when you decided we had to have a super-special meeting. I'm not quite sure why any of us actually agreed to come."

"Fun!" Tweal chirped.

"Well, Tweal is right. Today is a very important day. A day for fun. Today, ladies, gentleman, ghosts, Eevees, birds, and nutty nibbles smeared across Allo's face, is July eighteenth."

"And…?" Vanilla asked.

"Today, we battle!"

Allo sighed. "I figured it was something like this—"

"No! It is nothing like that! We are not gathered here for a simple announcement! We are gathered here in celebration! We are gathered here for—"

"Fun!" Tweal chirped again.

"Exactly! Now who's with me?"

"But, we still don't know what—"

"Me!" Tweal exclaimed.

"Me!" Missy whispered.

I gave Sunflower a threatening growl when Allo turned to consult Vanilla. "Me…" Sunflower said.

Vanilla started to walk away. "Oooh, Vanilla's afraid to have a little fun!" I taunted.

"Am not!" Vanilla snapped. "I just don't like your idea of fun."

"Splash, I think I'm with Vanilla on this. What exactly are you planning?"

"Well, I'm glad you asked. In celebration of today, we are going to play a game!"

"What kind of game?" Allo asked tentatively.

"Make believe!"

"Where does he get this stuff from?" Allo asked Vanilla in disbelief.

"My artificial intelligence!" I replied. Duh! "Whoever can pretend they are something or someone else the longest wins the game!"

"Can we choose anything to pretend to be?" Tweal asked.

"Yup! I'm going to be a cactus!"

"Then I'll be Splash," Vanilla snickered. "Look at me! I have maximum energy and minimum intelligence! I leap before I think. Actually, I do everything before I think and never get around to the actual thinking part!"

"Ooh, Vanilla you're brilliant! We can pretend to be members of our group. I take it back, I wanna be Anita!"

"Me got dibs on Erin!" Missy cackled.

"If you're not going to be a cactus, can I be a cactus?" Tweal asked.

"There once a friend anew—a Gastly haunting cactus …" Missy stared off in reminiscence.

"What are you going to be, Sunflower?" I asked.

"I'm not sure this is the best game, especially for Sun—" Allo started.

"I'll be Mel," Sunflower said quietly. Of course she wanted to be the boring one of the group.

"That was a good decision," Allo said encouragingly. Then he sighed. "I wish I could disappear right now, too… I'm going to pretend you're all normal."

"That's actually going to be a challenge," Vanilla commented. I would have retorted, but I heard the trot of one of my favorite Eevees in the whole group!

"Hey, my fellow Eeps! What is up?" Apple bounded next to Allo. "After Anita and everyone cleans up lunch, you guys are going to train! How does that sound?"

"Awesome!" I replied enthusiastically.

At the same time, Allo asked, "Eeps?"

"People are called peeps, so I figure Eevees are called Eeps!" Apple explained. I think Apple must have a Ph.D. in life because she's so smart. I want her smarts one day!

"We're celebrating by make believing!" I proudly declared. "I'm Anita, Missy's Erin, Vanilla's me, Sunflower's Mel, Allo's pretending we're normal, and Tweal is a cactus!"

Apple smiled widely. "I am soooo Liam."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

"There is no reason for the Electrike to migrate with all the rain Cape Caution's had this summer," Liam stated.

"It's not about reason. The Electrike migrate away from Cape Caution every summer," Erin argued.

I sighed and unzipped Erin's bag to find our pot shrinker. They had been arguing all through lunch. Mel had become so bored he threw his unfinished lunch at the two of them, and when that failed he had resorted to French braiding the tall golden grass around our camp.

"They only migrate because there is not usually enough water up here to sustain the whole pack."

"Enough! I'll prove you wrong!" Erin declared. "Anita, Liam and I are going to what would be the Electrike habitat if it was winter. It's about two miles west of here. Can you watch Tweal? He likes to be around Splash."

Mel jumped up. "Can I come too?"

Liam, who had been examining his Pokedex, shot Erin an irked look. Erin smiled at Mel. "If you want to, Mel, of course you can come! Anita's going to be training her Pokemon here…"

I glared at Erin, who replied with an innocent blink.

"Nevermind! I'm going to stay here and help Anita train!" Mel exclaimed.

"But Mel, don't you think it would be more fun to look at the Electrike with Erin? They have such cool sparks and—" I tried to get Mel to leave.

"I've seen Electrike before, but I've never seen Pokemon training! And I want to be a profusional ghost Pokemon so I need to learn all I can!"

"Professional," Erin muttered. Before I could say anything else, Erin called over Griffy. "You two have fun! Hop on, Liam!" Liam nimbly climbed onto Griffy's back behind Erin, and Griffy took off into the tall grass.

Well, this was just perfect. I finally fished the pot shrinker out of Erin's bag and used it to store our dishes. Then, I turned around to tell Mel to stay out of my way, only to find the area surrounding me void of little annoying boys.

That should be a good thing, right? Not when the little annoying boy can turn invisible…

"Boo!" I jumped up in surprise, and beside me, Erin shrieked. Wait, Erin wasn't here. So who…?

Missy, apparently, could do a perfect imitation of Erin's scream. She winked at me and disappeared. Mel was rolling on the ground laughing, Scary smiled beside him, and even Sunflower, who was sitting by Mel's feet, seemed to be grinning.

"So happy to provide amusement," I mumbled before stomping away towards my other Pokemon. "Fiery, come on!" Fiery had been lazily relaxing in the sun. He opened an eye to glare at me, and then shut it.

Before I could ask again, Splash jumped on top of him. {Get up! Get up! Let's go battle! Come on!}

Fiery leapt up immediately and started sniffing Splash… wait… no, it couldn't be… but… but… how? I looked around the field. Splash and Apple were tackling each other a hundred meters away. Splash hadn't tackled Fiery. It had been… Vanilla?

Vanilla sprinted towards me, followed by a rather shocked Fiery.

Stunned, I watched as Vanilla ran past me to where Tweal and Allo were sitting, and started running in circles.

{Is something wrong?} I called out to Tweal and Allo as I approached them.

{…} Tweal was silent.

{Nope, everything is absolutely normal,} Allo answered.

Maybe Vanilla was really excited to battle? She never had been before… Well, no time to worry about that now. I had practicing to do. "Everyone come over here!" I yelled.

Apple tackled Splash to the ground one more time before both she and Splash frowned slightly and walked towards me. Weird, usually they were a little more enthusiastic.

Once everyone was gathered, I began my pep-talk. "Alright, so for most of you, this is your first time training. If the training's too tough for you, say something, and I promise to psychically shoot you back to Mint Mountain. No wusses or crybabies—" I glared at Mel. "—allowed. I thought we'd start with a quick round robin to illustrate the most basic move, tackle. Fiery, demonstrate tackle on that rock."

I pointed, and Fiery ran at the rock, headbutting it so it flew a good forty meters through the air.

{What did you think of the pep-talk?} I asked the group, as Fiery illustrated the attack.

{It was amazing, of course, because I made it!} Splash replied. I turned around to see if he was making a joke I just did not understand, only to realize that several members of the group were missing.

"Where's Sunflower, Mel, Scary, and Missy?" I asked.

Allo shrugged, Tweal did not answer, Splash replied, "I don't know," Apple replied, "I don't care," and Vanilla had a paw stuck up her nose.

Trying extremely hard to ignore all of the bizarreness so I could concentrate on finding Sunflower and the others (but mostly Sunflower), I ordered, "The five of you practice tackling each other. Fiery, can you look for Sunflower? I'm going to try to find Mel psychically. Hopefully, they are all together."

With that, I sat down and closed my eyes. Immediately, I was drawn to the minds of the five Pokemon closest to me, but I avoided the temptation and reached out further. I started reaching only in the direction away from Fiery, but soon realized I was able to "see" many directions at once if I wanted to. It felt like I was zooming out of a picture so I could see more and more.

My mind stretched outward, but like a muscle, there came a point where I felt I could not stretch even an inch more. I settled for scrutinizing every inch of the area I could see, maybe half a mile radius. At the very northern tip of my view, I felt strangely repelled. My power dipped slightly, as if there was an invisible barrier.

I flashed an image in Fiery's mind. {Try here.} Fiery, who had been heading north-west, changed directions slightly. {Tell me if you find anything.}

I returned to my body. "Alright you guys, I need to know exactly what happened to Sun—"

Allo, Apple, Splash, and Vanilla all lay crumpled on their sides, as if badly beaten in a battle. Tweal was the only Pokemon still standing tall.

{Tweal, what happened?}

{…}

{Tweal?}

{… Cacti will triumph over all…}

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

On a scale of one to a hundred degrees Celcius, Anita's temper broke the thermometer. She immediately tried to force her way into my mind. Wincing slightly, I held her back. To keep her from doing anything destructive, I said, {Don't worry, Sunflower and Mel are fine!}

{Even I, the great and mighty Anita, could not defeat a cactus,} Splash declared, trying to answer the real Anita's question. {Every time we tackled it, we were hit by spikes!}

Anita crept back into her own mind and glared at me. {Whatever is going on, I'm sure it's your fault,} she told me. "Splash," Anita said, a little too sweetly, "you are not me."

{Of course I am,} Splash insisted. {Look, I can make a psychic barrier!} Splash waved his paws in an attempt to look mystical and then pretended to run into an invisible barrier.

{Apple, what is going on?}

{None of your business.}

{Apple,} Anita growled. She pressured my mind again. I still resisted. She then changed her focus and tried to get into the others' minds. Just for kicks, I held her back from their minds, too. Liam would do that too, right? He likes to bother Anita… I mean who doesn't?

"Alright, Vanilla and/or Allo, would you care to inform me why my Pokemon have become idiotic?"

{Of course, my idol, Anita!} Vanilla answered. {I came up with the most amazing idea to play make believe! Now we're all pretending to be other people and Pokemon and thingies! I'm Splash so I'm hyper and stupid!}

Anita slumped onto the ground. "You have all had me worried because you're playing a freakin game?"

{Obviously,} I drawled. {Took you long enough to figure out.}

"Apple, snap out of it. This is ridiculous! Who are you supposed to be, anyway? Vanilla is Splash, Splash is me, Tweal is a cactus…? And I think Missy might have been Erin…" Sudden understanding crossed Anita's face. "You must be Liam."

"Don't forget Sunflower is Mel!" Vanilla piped.

"I'm going to go curl up by those bushes and pretend this isn't happening," Anita said despairingly.

{Welcome to the club,} Allo muttered.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

"Scary, is this far enough to not be disturbed?" Mel asked Scary.

I peeked out of Mel's arms and saw Scary nodding. Both Scary and Mel floated to the ground, and I let out a sigh of relief. The floating made me extremely uncomfortable.

"Boo!" Missy popped out at me and Mel. While Mel did not even flinch, I plunged my head down into Mel's chest. Missy then did another very good imitation of Erin's scream and continued to laugh madly. I knew I shouldn't be afraid, that Missy was just joking, but I could not help being frightened. I didn't like surprises…

"Alright, Sunflower, Scary here tells me that you want to learn to be a ghost so we're going to teach you! Okay?"

I nodded and Mel set me down on the ground. To be quite honest, I knew there was no chance of me ever becoming a ghost until I died, which I hoped would not happen any time soon. I really only did this to get away from my insane brother. His games were dangerous.

"First of all, Sunflower, ghosts are scary. Watch—"

Scary grinned evilly and seemed to grow in size. I cowered by Mel's feet.

"Now you try!" Mel exclaimed.

I looked at the boy pleadingly. I could not be terrifying—only terrified!

"You can do it! Growl at me!"

I tried. I screwed up my face and barked.

"Hehehehehe!" Missy cackled. "That quite hilarity."

Mel started laughing, too, but managed to turn it into a coughing fit. My ears drooped. I couldn't do this.

"Sunflower, try to imagine I'm Splash. Growl at me!" Mel suggested.

But he was not Splash, and if he was, I could never growl at him. Still… he was not Splash and if I pretended I had the guts to stand up to a pretend Splash, maybe it would sound something like—

GRRRRRROR!

Missy let out an Erin scream.

"Sunflower, that was great!" Mel exclaimed. He patted me on the head. "Now we can work on turning invisible."

I licked Mel's hand. He was such a nice person, but he was a child, and children did not understand the laws of physics… of course, I was a child, too.

"Mel, Sunflower is not like us; she will never be able to turn invisible at will," Scary said to Mel. Scary disappeared into Mel's body for a few seconds and then returned. It must have been their way of communicating because Mel looked downcast for a moment.

"Scary says you can't learn that…" Mel suddenly smiled. "But he did show me something I might be able to teach you!"

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

The campfire's heat was relaxing. The soft grass I sat on was relaxing. Erin and Liam's constant bickering… kinda ruined the whole relaxing atmosphere I was going for.

"The Electrike only moved a mile south, Erin. That does not qualify as migration," Liam argued.

"Does too!" Erin countered. "Doesn't it, Anita?"

I shrugged.

Not satisfied with my answer, Erin accusingly asked, "What did you accomplish here, anyway, while Liam and I were off making amazing scientific discoveries?"

"Anita couldn't control her Pokemon and ended up not accomplishing anything!" Mel blurted out.

I glared at the evil boy. "In fact, Allo and I had a very productive day. Allo mastered several attacks."

Allo puffed out his chest proudly.

"And your other Pokemon…?" Erin asked.

I didn't answer.

"Scary told me the whole situation! See," Mel explained, "what happened was Splash decided he wanted to make believe. So he gathered everyone and he was Anita and Vanilla was him and Missy was you and Apple was Liam and Tweal was a cactus and Allo pretended everything was alright and Sunflower was me. So I decided to train Sunflower myself but then Fiery found us and was furious and brought us back to Anita. And—"

"Who won?" Erin interrupted.

"Won?" Mel asked. "Make believe isn't a winning-losing game."

{Whoever pretends the longest wins,} Apple explained. Only nobody could hear her and I certainly was not going to be the communication link in this conversation.

{Excuse me, but Apple claims that whoever pretends the longest wins this strange game,} Griffy said. Darn that Girafarig.

"And?" Erin asked expectantly.

Apple spoke and Griffy relayed, {Allo lost when he tackled Tweal and pretended to be hurt because he was supposed to be pretending that nobody was pretending. Tweal eventually fell over from standing up straight and Vanilla fell in a puddle and started flipping out about her dirtiness so they both lost. Then Splash and I got bored so we played leapfrog instead of make believe. That leaves—"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" Missy uttered a high pitch Erin scream, making me jump back from the fire.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a dark ball of shadowy energy collided with Missy. The Misdreavus fell over, knocked out.

We all turned our heads towards the source of the attack.

Sunflower smiled. {I win.}