An Apple A Day Chapter 29: Fooled, a pokémon fanfic

THIS WAS A FALSE CHAPTER POSTED AS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET ON WITH THE STORY, PLEASE SKIP TO NEXT CHAPTER.

IF NOT ALREADY POSTED, THE REAL CHAPTER 27 WILL BE POSTED WITHIN THE NEXT WEEK!

Foolish

{Focus, Anita.}

{I'm trying, but someone keeps interrupting!}

Apple and I sat outside the doors of the Pokemon Center. I yawned. The sun wasn't even up yet. {You're not doing it right,} Apple said. {Don't think of it as moving the barrier—think of it as creating another barrier right next to the previously made one.}

{Oh, that's real helpful.} I shoved my mind forward and another barrier appeared next to the one I had been trying to move.

{You have to destroy and create the new barrier really quickly, and not so far apart—they'll be overlapping—}

{I don't know how you expect me to be able create and destroy a bunch of barriers within the same second— It takes a crapload of energy.} I yawned again. {…which I am severely lacking at five in the morning.}

{The energy's already mostly there when you create the first barrier. You have to use the energy dissipated by that barrier to make the second one.}

{Easy for you to say.}

{I think you need some moral support. Let out Fiery!}

{So you two can make lovey-dovey eyes at each other?}

Apple stuck out her tongue and I felt Fiery's Pokeball unclip from my belt. {Hey!}

There was a flash of red and…

Nothing happened.

"Uh, where's Fiery?" I asked out loud.

"He's up here."

I looked up. On top of the big red block letters that spelled out "Pokemon Center," there was a shadowy figure holding Fiery. When the figure turned his head, I saw a glint of green.

"Liam?" I asked.

Liam held Fiery out over the ground by the scruff of his neck. Fiery looked like he was knocked out.

"Liam," I said, starting to panic. "What are you doing?"

"None of your business."

"Oh, ok then. I respect your decision not to tell me anything."

"This business concerns Apple." Frowning, I turned to Apple. She shrugged.

"You cheated."

Apple rolled her eyes.

"Apple, damn it, you cheated on me with this—" Liam lifted Fiery higher. "—fleabag! How could you do it?"

I looked at Apple expectantly. She turned her head.

"Answer me!"

"Yeah, Apple, I thought you and Liam were forever and always or something," I said.

Small tear drops had started to form in Apple's eyes. {I'm pregnant, you jerk!}

"Apple says she's pregnant."

"Well that doesn't give her the right to cheat on me!"

{Yes it does, when you ignore me and start going all googly-eyed over every other fluffy tail you see!}

I repeated the accusation to Liam.

"That was only once, and it was a Ninetales—"

{And you told me you wouldn't pay half of the child support—}

"If this gets any more soap-opera-like, I'm going to go get popcorn." I said. "Apple's mad because you won't pay for your children. By the way, have you started considering names?"

"None of this explains why Apple cheated on me with a Flareon! He doesn't have money to pay for child support either."

"He's better looking," Erin snickered as she walked out of the Pokemon Center.

"Why are you up?" I asked.

"My spicy sense was tingling," Erin said, fanning her face with her hands. "Can't you feel the tension? It's hot."

Suddenly, Fiery opened his eyes. He smiled. {I have a confession to make.}

"Attention, everyone, Fiery has a confession."

Erin pulled a banana out of her pocket. She tossed it at Liam. "Here, take this pervert!"

"I'm not a pervert!"

"No, the devise I just threw you is a P-E-R-V-E-R-T. Pokemon Endearing Radio Verified to Eat Radishes and Translate."

"Translate what?" I asked.

"Pokemon!" Erin answered.

"Alright, Fiery, speak into the pervert."

"Apple, I never loved you."

Erin and I gasped. {And I was just trying to get your money,} Apple said.

"Apple says she's a gold-digger," I relayed.

"But Fiery never had any gold!" Liam said.

"I have another confession," Fiery announced. We all turned our gazes to the Flareon, who Liam was still holding by the scruff of his neck. "Carly Goldenthrill fell in love with me and we're getting married and I'm going to be filthy stinkin' rich." Liam dropped the Flareon in disgust.

Erin dove forward to catch him…

But she missed and crashed into a tree. Fiery softened his landing with an iron tail.

"I have another confession," Fiery said again.

"Apple's going to be a bridesmaid?" I suggested.

"You secretly love reading trashy romance novels?" Erin said.

"You saved money by switching to Geico?" Liam asked.

"I'm a vampire." Fiery's canines grew.

"Right, and its going to rain eggs," I snorted.

Right on cue, an egg fell from the sky. A giant egg. An egg with glittery pink bubbles painted all over it.

It started cracking. There was a wave of purple smoke, and when it cleared, a highlighter pink Salamance was sitting amongst the broken egg bits.

{My name is Meragon,} she said. {It is my duty to be cliché, look fake, and make dramatic exits.} Meragon flapped her wings rapidly until she was off the ground. {I bit thee farewell.} She disappeared.

"I have another confession," Fiery declared.

We all sighed exasperatedly. You probably did, too.

"Meragon is my evil twin."

"Is she a vampire, too?" I asked.

"Why, Fiery? Why didn't you tell me you were a vampire? I don't think I can be your mistress anymore—"

"That's exactly why I couldn't tell you! I knew you couldn't deal!" Fiery answered. "Now our relationship is going to get really awkward."

"Because it wouldn't with you being married and all…" I said.

"Did it occur to anyone that Fiery's not human? I mean, how could a relationship like that even… work?" Liam said.

"You and Apple are different species," I pointed out.

"But our relationship didn't work out."

{Fiery, I've decided I'm madly in love with you because you are a vampire, and I've read that vampires make good husbands,} Apple said.

"Really?" Erin said. "Alright, Fiery, I'll still be your mistress."

"Wait, how did you understand Apple?" I asked.

"Huh, that's a good question. She's not psychic." Erin gasped. "Maybe I'm psychic!"

"Great. Now I have another suspect," Liam muttered.

"I have another confession," Fiery said yet again.

We gave him our full attention.

"I ate Splash."

----

APRIL FOOLS!!!!

Seriously people, how long did you think this was a real chapter? If by the end you didn't know… well, erm… Happy April Fools Day!