A Very Bad Idea
Chapter Four
Sparks
I launch myself at him. Leaping on his back, I wrap my arms around his neck. I swing my legs up and wrap them around his waist, locking my ankles. He stumbles forward. He tries to pry my hands apart. I lean one way then the next, trying to tip him off-balance.
Rumbling. I feel it against my chest. I close my eyes. Rumbling radiating out. Burning through me like a wildfire. I wrap myself tighter, holding this for my own. There is nothing else. This is for me. I lay my head down. I feel rumbling breaths. Yellow eyes... Hidden... buried... now remembered.
Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Relative.
Immersed. Lost. An absence of something. Falling...
Oomph. Glad there were mats. Not so glad I was sprawled on my back. Confused. Static. And feeling very stupid.
Very stupid. Why hadn't he pinned me yet? Well, this'll be fun to explain. Once I cleared the static.
I got up, looked over to him. He had his head down, taking controlled breaths. I hadn't hurt him, had I? Anger?
"Hey. You alright there? I asked as I moved to the table.
Cough, then. "Yeah. Just a … surprised. I'll be ..." Deep exhale, then a tight nod. Almost to himself.
OK. I hopped up on the table, which wobbled and collapsed. Fuck. Didn't need that.
Heard a laugh. "Yeah. I'll bet." Great, I'd said it out loud. I moved to get up, saw two huge feet. Looked up, he was holding a hand out, looking down, but pointedly not at me. I took it, and stood up. First, my HUD crapped out on me yesterday, now this cheap ass table. Not to mention the little issue of …
"Um, Commander. Can I ask you something?" I heard him, he sounded miles away.
Falling. The comfort of his rumbling had masked it's pain.
"Yeah. Yeah. Sure, anything." Some part of me answered. I couldn't. Pieces falling and tumbling into...
I'm on the couch. Watching TV. It's on. But, really I'm babbling on about how that had been the greatest thing ever.
"Did you see it. He didn't even flinch when I yelled. Did you see it?" I roar, hold my hands like claws. Fall back on the couch laughing.
"I was there too, Megan. What I saw was a stupid child. Why would you do something like that? Your antics are going to be the death of me."
I frowned. She always did that. Say something to make me feel bad.
It had been great. I laughed. He'd given me the best birthday present ever. I'll tell him again, when he gets back.
He's been gone for awhile now.
"Hey, Mom. Did you get any pictures?" I roll to the floor. Get on hands and knees, and stalk towards her.
Roar. She turns, looks down. "Oh, Megan. Stop it. Ask your father if he got pictures. Now, shoo." She waved me off. I waved a claw at her and stalked off. Spoilsport.
He'd gone back to the store. I remember him asking her in the car, do you want anything before we get back. She said no. I was making roaring sounds. He was laughing. She was silent.
She wanted wine. He left to get it.
I was roaring and my hands were claws, when the knock came. I ran to the door, yelling Dad! One long word all the way there. Dopplering. My Mom yelling, you can't just open a door...
It wasn't my dad. It was two police officers. My stomach dropped. They were going to arrest me for yelling at the cat. I didn't mean anything by it. When my dad got back, he could explain.
"Is your mom here?" The taller one asked. I turned, she was right behind me. "I didn't mean anything. I'm sorry." I blurted out. They looked confused.
"Go sit down, Megan."
She invited them in.
"We're sorry Ma'am, but we have bad news. We need you to identi..."
No. They had the wrong room. The wrong hotel. The wrong last name. No. They were wrong.
Breathing was a chore. Spinning. A crushing weight on me.
" … other car... nav syst- … field disruption... trapped... "
Ma'am, are you sure she should be hearing this?
We're military. Go on.
No. Two simple letters to make it untrue.
Falling. And weight so heavy, I could not breathe. This wasn't real. She should've answered him in the car. This could not be real. I had been so happy. Spinning. Wrong. Everything was wrong. We'd been so happy. Inhale. Exhale. Why couldn't I breathe. I hit crush depth. Best gift ever?
Disconnect.
I was free. This was better. Clarity. I could see again. Breathe again.
Megan. Megan. Something shaking me. I need to go with these men. Do you understand? Don't open the door for anyone. Do you understand?
I nodded. Of course I did. I was fine. She had someplace she could go now.
No pain. No hurt. Nothing but me. She was free there. She was focused there. Senses tuned. I was complete freedom.
Mom made it stronger. Mom never let me say good bye. Mom's life paramount. Mine not.
I was not a retreat. I was an evolution. I was a tool. I was a shelter. I made her stronger.
We became stronger. We became better. We ended up a legend.
I never showed my existence. I was a place where she grew. I honed her. She honed me.
I was clarity. I was freedom. I was not bound.
I do not show my existence, but it is known. She is aware of my existence. I am there when needed, not bidden.
I am a tool. I do not control. I am not control.
For many, my light is their darkness. My existence, the end of their's.
Only two have seen.
I protect her. I mask the pain of the wound.
I am seen. Blue eyes missing nothing. He did not flinch. He smiled.
I guide her. I bring her to him.
He can buffer the pain while I lance the wound.
"So, Turian waists are erogenous zones?" I repeat. Good to know. Did you notice how well you fit earlier?... what? Who the hell... I don't need any more parts of my psyche showing up today, thank you. Been an interesting sparring session.
First stop on the Citadel. A bar. Hotel. Back to bar.
"Yes." He's till trying to hide his eyes. But I saw it. I've seen it since I was... let's not go there. I know the look well, let's leave it at that.
Arousal. Desire. First is a physical need or want. The second, the mental component. Again, I'm used to it. I'm also used to people hiding it. From me.
What I'm not used to, and have never seen before. Is someone trying to hide it from themselves. Himself. To be exact. And I don't think it's just because I'm his CO. Which has got to be weird for him.
"OK, so if someone just comes up and rubs your waist .. " I pause, scratch my head. Trying to find the right words. I take a quick drink...
"Now you understand why we armor all the time?" And cough the water back up. Now I can't tell if he was joking or not. He's laughing at my distress.
If you want distress, step into my mind right now, Garrus. That little rumbling thing you do, which we will talking about, by the way, triggered a land mine. Pieces of my psyche are still raining down. I'm on the fence about locking myself in my cabin, and sorting through it all.
I honestly don't want to be alone right now. I'm also hoping that beating the shit out of each other will actually help. I don't think it will, but beats locked in my cabin crying.
I feel like I'm watching a vid of my life, just that I'm not in it.
But first, since today has no plans on being easy, we have to work through this, this Aladdin's lamp thing I accidentally did. Well, when I'm done coughing.
"Enjoying this, Vakarian?" I cough out. I wipe my face with a towel, look down. Well, know where the water went. Not too bad. Not quite an Asari soft-porn commando movie bad. Trashy enough. Sigh.
"Well, you may as well rip my shirt too." Got that one out without coughing. Ripped shirt, not quite a bodice, but would fit the Asari soft-porn look.
What?!" I swear his sub-harmonics squeaked. Alarmed. His face was a picture perfect look of alarm. Hint of confusion thrown in. I pointed and waved at the wet spots on my shirt. "May as well make the Asari commando soft-porn look complete, don't ya think?" I grinned.
Alarm was replaced by humor. He was still uncomfortable though, but only time will fix that. He only chuckled to that one, gave me a smile. I smiled back, thanks Vakarian. Still got a long road. For now, I'm sticking with evasion.
Now that I could speak, and there was no water around. "So, you never answered my question. It seems to be a big disadvantage. Just rub your waist and you're incapacitated? Well, if not that, you'd at least lose focus. Know what I mean?" I was curious. Weird evolutionary trait.
He moved off the wall, nodding. "It is. And we do wear armor most of the time. If you have your armor off, you're generally with people you comfortable with.." I nodded to that. Made sense, still seemed like an odd spot to put an erogenous zone though. "I gotta say Garrus. Still seems dangerous."
"I could say the same about humans. Rub you guys - " He was getting defensive. I cut him off. "Nope. Different. You grab somebody's crotch, you're most likely to get your ass kicked. Kind of invite only thing. It's pretty rare for a human to get fired up if someone just walks up and starts rubbing."
I know humans have casual sex with strangers, but their already in the mood, you know? He looked like he was figuring out how he wanted to respond, so I continued. "If two people are interested, and one reaches over, and … gets familiar, sure, they'll respond, the same if..." Oh. Was he saying the same thing I was?
"Wait. Are you saying-" Getting to know his alarmed face well today. "No. No. I wasn't saying that at all. Spirits no. No. No. No." He was sputtering, mandibles fluttering.
Yeah, thanks for that. I got it at the first no. "Yeah. OK. I get it. Don't need to rub it in."
"What. No. That's not what I meant. Well, it is, but I didn't mean. Shit, how the hell did we get here?"
We got here when you implied that I turned you on, yet didn't. If you can clarify, please do.
He did. Took awhile. Good, he can speak and think for awhile. I didn't have to. After awhile, I wasn't listening to what he saying, just hearing his voice. Soothing. Soothing was good. I was going to be tiptoeing through land-mines, …. steady nerves were a good thing.
Yeah. You know what, the Thorian was starting to look like a good goddamn day compared to this one.
Wait. What? I had a feeling hearing and not listening might bite me in the ass. I gave him a confused look. Whew. He was repeating it. Huh. I have to be honest, I think one of the reasons the first contact war happened, was that the Turians and humans were too much alike. So, sounds like Turians have fight or fuck chemical responses also. Good to know.
Well now, how do we get from one to the other … sigh. Can someone silence this chick, please?
"Now that we have that cleared up. We are good, right?" He nodded yes. OK, one more thing and back to beating the crap out of each other. I needed it.
"What's with that rumbly thing you do?"
"Rumbly?" Brow plate arched.. Sigh, not now Garrus.
"Yeah, that grumbling, growling sound." Comforting. Soothing. And, well … Say it. Just say it. Yeah, all right, that rumbling thing you do, totally turns me on. OK. Happy now? Totally. Please God, please tell me none of that was out loud. Please.
"Rumbly, huh." He seemed amused at that. Just get to it.
The cliff notes. Sub-harmonics are the nuanced part of Turian speech. They speak two languages at once. They can say one thing, but sub-harmonics convey the actual meaning. Overtly physical acts trigger the growling sounds. Each one a different sound. Then that means …
Yes. Lets trigger that sound... Please. Someone shut that chick up!
I want a book on Palaven evolutionary history. Turians have some interesting evolved traits. That and I want to see whatever monster bird they evolved from. Except for a couple glaring things, they look like big earth cats to me.
I'd laid down on the floor, and started stretching, while he explained the growling. One leg up, then the other. I noticed he just watched. Never tried to hide the fact he was checking out my legs. "Checking out my legs, Vakarian?"
"Yes." Huh. No one admits to it, let alone nonchalantly. And lift. And.. he grasped my ankle, brought my leg straight up. I stiffened. He brought his other hand up to his mouth, pulled the glove off with his teeth. Never took his eyes off my leg.
He ran a talon over the top of my thigh, then up the back of my calf. Knife edge on skin. My heart was racing. Fuck. I hoped he wasn't using that visor of his right now. "These." Huh? He did it again."These are more defined." Exhale. Hadn't even realized I'd been holding my breath. He looked at me. He let go, and my leg dropped to the floor. "They're more defined since we've started."
He held out a hand, I waved it off. That had been unexpected, both the act and reaction. He retrieved his glove. Feather light touch. He could easily rend flesh with it. And just as easily, excite it. Knife edge radiating out.
Just how dexterous was he with those … We should find out … yeah, we should. What? My mind was shattered in pieces over a broken landscape, and this is what we're thinking about? Gathering myself together, I got up. No wobbling, good.
We moved to the center of the room, and faced off. Finally. I needed this. Circling. Jabbed right. Deflected. He countered. Deflected. Go for the old chestnut. Right. Left. Right Left. Speed. His Arms up. Right. Left. Right . Left. He drove his right straight in. Connecting hard with my chest. I staggered back.
Pain. I needed it. Physical pain. A balm. He came up at me fast. Left. Right. Left. Right. No problem deflecting. I dropped and rolled back. Got up, felt the rail on my back. My friend clarity was washing through me. A plan. Distract. Attack.
Everything clearer. I flipped back over the rail. Holding the rail, I back walked up the wall.. He'd moved forward, looking, perplexed. Confused. The look not the issue. Distraction, the issue. Downward push, I tucked my legs up and swung underneath. He was plated, no worry of damaging anything. Connecting into his pelvis. He staggered back.
Time for another distraction. You won't say it, but I know you love limber. Time to use one of the few things I remembered from gymnastics. Hopefully. This had a very good chance of failing horribly.
I pulled up, legs straight out in front of me. I pulled myself up and back, abdomen against the rail, pulled my legs back and out, feet up against the bar. I stole a glance at him. I smiled to myself, he was transfixed. You have growling, I have limber.
The part I was worried about. I pulled myself up, using the soles of my feet to bring me forward, and .. Holy shit, I did it. Arms straight down, I had my legs stretched out across the bar. He was staring. Unabashedly staring.
Let's ratchet this up. Bit by bit, I changed my grip, and started to turn, legs straight out to my sides. I slowly pivoted. Now facing the wall. Cool, I'd pulled it off. I brought my legs in, sprung to the floor..
He was just looking at me. I really wanted my own visor at that moment.
It was childish, I know. But, he had to know what his sub-harmonics did to me. I couldn't respond in kind. No, wait I had. A wanton display of limberness. Mental sparring complete, back to physical. ...Well done. I think you have his complete attention now... whoever you are, I think you're right.
We moved back to the center of the room. We'd displayed a different level of sparring, that completed, let the games began. He came at me with speed and ferocity. Despite the pain I was feeling in my arms from warding off his blows, I was smiling. Oh yeah, I'd rattled him.
I tried backing up, but when I did that, he would hit harder from his right. I moved away from the blows, I kept moving to my right, he switched and would hit harder from his left. He was herding me. Keeping me away from the rail, my advantage. He had height, weight, and reach on me. The center his advantage.
Pain brings clarity. Clarity masks pain. Ideas flow. Senses heightened. Time slows. Faster reflexes.
He's fighting himself as much as me. A distraction he doesn't realize. Time slows. I can see each punch. I change my stance slightly, left side closer. He is speed and power. No thought. A hit on my left. Now.
Pushing up with my feet, grab his cowl with my left hand, pull up, and elbow him with my right. He staggers back. I move back. Back to stance, dancing on my feet.
He moves back up grinning. I come in low, my turn for speed. Right. Left. Right. I move back. Circling. He comes at me with a right, I just tuck and roll out to my right. Leap back up. He turns to face me. I need a plan. I don't know why, but I have to beat him today.
I think about moving all the way back, then flipping towards him, but he's too tall for me to pull a Pris. We circle again, I come in. Right. Left. Right. Left. Just speed. His arms defending. He moves up. I keep the pace. He brings his forearms down a little. I don't let up. Right. Left. Right. Left.
He lunges forward, brings his arms down, and shoves my shoulders hard. My feet were planted for hitting, I stagger, trying to get my footing, when he tackles me.
I hit with an oomph, then a hundred-ten kilo Turian lands on me. My lungs decided to rid themselves of all air. When I can breathe again, I'll tell you how much that fucking hurt. He's up sitting beside me. Sort of. I'm laying, sitting, rolling, trying to get that air back. Most likely I looked like a fish out of water, flopping around.
"You, OK, Shepard?" He sounds concerned. Do I look OK? After what felt like a few Asari lifetimes I can breathe again. Motherfucker that hurt. I can finally process higher level thoughts, and I look at him. He actually looks very worried. I wave my hand at him. Letting him know I'm returning to the land of the living.
My breathing finally back to normal, I'm walking around. He checks to make sure I'm good. I am. He taps me on the shoulder, I turn he holds his hand up, palm up, nods expectingly. What? No fucking way.
"Nope. You have to ask before we start. Black, black no take back." I smiled a that one.
"You know Shepard. There are times you make no fucking sense. What is, black,-" I cut him off.
"It's a kids thing. Rules to a game have to rhyme. Red, red, no play dead. That kind of thing." I can tell he's trying to process it. But all he says is."I can't believe you guys achieved space flight."
We take our positions. I launch at him. Right. Left. Right left. Then flip back. We circle. I feint. He feints. I jab. Deflects. He jabs. I deflect. Back and forth. Jab. Deflect. Feint. Feint. We dance in a circle. Each waiting.
Circling. I drop. Holding myself up with my hands I swing my legs, he reacts too late, I cut them out from beneath him. He falls back. I'm up, launch at him, damn he's fast. He catches, and throws me off. I land, roll. He's back up.
Back into stance. Circling. Stop. Heard a sound at the door. We both look. I forgot he's got better hearing, he already knows it's nothing. I turn back, just in time for him to grab me. He pulls me tight to him. My back against his chest. I'm kicking. He's got my arms pinned also. I can feel him breathing on my neck. His rumbling sub-harmonics spreading through me.
He shifts himself. And pulls me tight. I'm struggling, and kicking, but it's not working. Then, I feel his hand over my shoulder, down my chest, under my shirt. His aims off slightly he brushes the side of my breast. I feel him stiffen, and suck in a breath. I'm not breathing. The only sound I hear is the blood pounding in my ears. His rumbling vibrating every cell in my body. I can tell he's breathing again, I feel it on the back of my neck. He pulls his hand back, and moves it over. He finds the knife and pulls his hand out.
He lets me go. I bend over hands on knees. I'm breathing again. Hearing returning. "I did ask." I hear from somewhere. Oh, he can search us anytime... yeah, kinda expected that one from her.
Well, show no weakness. "Nice to see that C-Sec training finally paid off on this mission, Vakarian." He just looks at me. "Shepard. I did ask." And I had answered. Just didn't realize how damn serious he was.
"True"
Shit. Damn. Someone, not sure who, was going to have one hell of a night when we hit the Citadel.
Why not just ask him? … because he made it clear when discussing Turian waists, he wasn't in to us. What! When did I become us? Commander Basket Case.. … oh, please, he just copped a feel.. and you did nothing... listen chick. He grabbed the knife, thats it. As for the feel.. sure it was an accident. Seemed that way.
OK. I need to kick his ass. So far, I'm doing just OK today. We eye each other as we start to circle. He takes a left, I deflect. It stings. He meant business on that one. Clarity returned, my friend. He takes a left, I dance left. He takes a right, I dance, right. An idea. He takes another right, I dance right, and swing. Connect. Only his shoulder, but a connection. He laughed with his eyes.
We resume the dance. I can feel a rhythm flow. Right. His right. He would feint, I would dance away. He came up brought in a left, then a damn quick right. I barely deflected it. I swung a kick, he caught it, pushed me off. Got my balance. He feinted left, I dropped and threw a right, connecting low on his side. I rolled out right.
I came back up, he spun to face me, threw a right. I danced right, into his right. I stepped back, shook my arm. That one stung. He nodded. I winked, and moved back. Got into stance.
I swear I heard the door open, I should've never taken my eyes off him. He swept his legs, I flipped down on my back. Shit. I rolled, tried to get up. He landed on me perfectly. For him. Not me.
I brought my arms back, trying to push up, he grabbed my upper arms. He slowly, methodically moved his hands down my arms. Never losing control of them. My legs were useless, his legs had those pinned. He lay a top me, his legs intertwined with mine, his arms intertwined with mine. His growling radiated from his chest, I could feel it in every cell.
Fuck. He had me good. He had me really good. Really good.
His body heat was warming me in a way that... His sub-harmonics were extremely low pitched. A feral growl radiating through every cell. He had me. He lowered his head, I could feel his breath on my neck.
"Your move, Spectre," He growled. I was so fucked. I couldn't breathe. Blood pounding in my ears. I'm surprised I heard him. He shifted his hips slightly. I shivered. Yeah, he had me.
I felt like I was on fire. He had to know. That fucking visor of his.
"Give" He growled. Order, not question. More than one meaning. Not yet, Vakarian. Not yet.
" You don't have a weapon." I purred. Matches only ended with a death blow. That's the rule
His sub-harmonics changed, still primal, now like the sound a big cat makes before a kill.
He moved, his mouth right over my neck, I felt every breath. "I don't need a weapon."
Several needle sharp points draw down my neck.
I suck in a breath. He responds by biting down, ever so soft. He Has me Oh, fuck does he have me.
My move huh, Vakarian. … Remember he said he wasn't into you … yeah, all evidence to the contrary. But, you have a point. We can prove that very easily.
Here goes nothing, and everything. I arch my back, and push my hips into him. I feel him stiffen, and suck in a breath. He starts to..., Oh not yet, Vakarian. Not yet. I move my hips in slow circles, pushing in to him.
Your move, Vakarian. Into aliens or not?
He presses him self down on to me. His growl savage.
OH, yeah. Jackpot. OH. I have him I have you, Garrus.
He goes totally rigid. And he flips off her.
What the hell. He grows a conscience now? Now? I will rip his thro-
"Door" He says, just as I hear it. Foot steps, and a hand hits the door panel.
I flip over, and move to lean against the wall. He tosses me a towel. "Thanks"
We look at each other, he shakes his head, and laughs. I join him.
Ash walks in. Stops. Surveys the room. She smirks, then. "Hey Guys. Not interrupting, am I?"
I survey the room. Smashed table. Water bottles and towels scattered around the room. How the hell did my knife end up in the wall? Uh, it's not what it seems. No, it is exactly what it seems.
And thanks so much for deciding today of all days to spar.
Ash hardly ever spars. Fuck, why today.
"So, Chief. Feel like sparring?" Garrus pipes up. He's composed himself well.
Fuck it. I get up, head to the door. Pick up my pack.
"OK, guys. Have fun. I'm off to a shower.." I nod to Garrus. Think murderous thoughts to Ash, but outwardly nod to her as well.
I hit the door panel. It hisses open, I'm halfway through.
"That be a cold shower, Skipper?"
A/N: Almost Done. Thanks for your patience. These last two chapters have really put a dent in the wine supply.
A big thank you to those that have sent comments. They've helped immeasurably. Thank you.