AN: Okay, new chapter because reasons. Well, I've figured out mostly what I want to happen in this story! No character death this time, so that's good. I am in an updatey mood. Yes, yes I am. I even know when I want Clace to happen, and how it's going to happen!

Meeeeeee: Yup, I got up at 5 a.m. on May 27, 2014 (the day it came out) to read it. Then I had to go to school, so it took me a few days to finish. Yeah, Helen is really nice. I felt awful when she was almost banished I was like mmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

Guest: Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments, or Marie Claire, which is mentioned here.

"MAGNUS KILLIAN BANE! What the heck is this!?" I yelled into the phone, having skipped a greeting for my glittery friend. I was looking at a Marie Claire article featuring "Top 10 Male Models On The Rise." Number 3? 'Magnificent Magnus'. I stared down at a picture of Magnus, my friend Magnus, posing shirtless against a wall with a mini article about him. There were some pretty ridiculous ones in there. They ranged from 'Amazing Alex' to 'Charismatic Charlie'. So, now I was on the phone, yelling at Magnus for not telling me.

"Well, I was going to tell you soon, but-" he started.

"No buts! I knew you were chasing a modeling career, but you didn't tell me you made Marie Claire! That's huge! That's really huge!"

"Haha, you said butts." He giggled like a child.

"Yeah, and you did too, idiot! Now explain to me why you didn't tell me you were 'Magnificent Magnus'!"

"I was waiting to surprise you, Simon, and Izzy! I know it's a big deal!" he responded, sounding sincere and apologetic.

"I know, Mags. Sorry for freaking out. But wow! That's amazing! Wow, just wow! Congratulations! Your career is really taking off!"

"Thanks, Clare! This is amazing! I'm still having trouble processing it."

"You should be higher up than Number 3, Maggie. The people here are kind of weird, but you look really good. Look at this g-" I stopped in the middle of my sentence, for Number 2 on the list was giving me an unpleasant shock for the 30th time that week. Tears began to form in my eyes. Magnus was calling my name since I had cut off in the middle of my sentence.

"Sassy Sebastian..." I whispered, my voice cracking in spite and sorrow.

"What?" Magnus asked, obviously confused.

"Number 2. Sassy Sebastian. Sebastian Freaking Verlac. In the article with you. H-here he is. As always. Never freaking going away."

"Oh god, Clary. I'm sorry. Once again, it's my fault. It seems I'm good for nothing but reminding you of that idiot. You okay? I mean, I know it sucked, like really really sucked, but it's just a stupid picture of him looking like an idiot right?" His response made me laugh despite myself.

"Yeah, I'm okay. You know, he's in the same pose as you. You pretty much just called yourself an idiot. Listen, I gotta go. See you soon."

I shut the phone off and lied down on my bed, trying to shield myself from the memories. Slithering towards me, they made their way from my feet, wrapping themselves around me until I couldn't move, constricting so that I couldn't breath. Their tendrils slid into my ears and out, covered my eyes and scraping at my forehead.

"Clarissa! I saw the way you were looking at him! What do you think you're trying to pull, huh? Your eyes have been wandering a lot lately! Am I not enough for you, is that it? You don't see me looking at other girls!" Sebastian, my boyfriend, yelled at me.

"Sorry, Seb. That guy was wearing a t-shirt from a book I like, that's all. You know I love you. You'll always be more than enough. But, you know, you do sometimes look at other girls. What about that blonde yesterday. In fact, you've kind of been ignoring me lately. And getting mad at me for no reason. Is everything okay?" I responded, trying to keep calm, but really I was fighting to not raise my voice.

"No reason? No reason!? I'm doing this to make sure you aren't cheating on me every chance you get!"

"If you don't trust me, then... Th-then why are we even together. Maybe we should t-take a break. It hurts me to say this, I really love you, but the you that you are now isn't the person I fell in love with."

I tried to be relational, but my voice was cracking for thanks to two emotions. Anger, but also sorrow at the thought of even suggesting that. But it had to be done. I couldn't live like this anymore, live in fear of upsetting him. Having to guess when he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I had never had a problem with anxiety, but I had 'suddenly' started having attacks.

"Nice try. No, I think I decide when we get to break up. For now, you're mine." he growled.

"What the hell are you talking about? I belong to no one but myself."

"Nope, you're mine. You've brought this on yourself. It's all your fault, Clarissa."

The flashback ended there, but it was not the worst one from my memory. The only reason it was special was that it brought in a series of new, much worse memories. I curled up on my bed, trying to let the flashbacks run their course as painlessly as possible, but ultimately failing. I tried to convince myself it wasn't my fault, but his words crawled up my spine and drowned out my own meek thoughts. That night I had another panic attack, something that usually only happened when I had thoughts of Sebastian.

"You've brought this on yourself. It's all your fault, Clarissa."

AN: Sorry for the shortish chapter, I know not much happened. This chapter was kind of there to give a glimpse into what Clary went through with Sebastian. See you next time, and reviews, follows, favorites, and just reading is very appreciated, so thank you so much!