Okay ladies!
This one is for all of you!
bwahahaha!
Onward!
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Chapter 5
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To say Sam was afraid was the understatement of the century...
He was terrified.
He knew this day was coming, yet he did nothing to prepare himself for it.
How could he be so stupid?
All he could do was get Bee to take him to the base as fast as he could.
Optimus Prime would protect him...hopefully. Not to mention, he'd get in some guy time. He'd hang with Miles, but unfortunately he was out of town.
Bee skidded to a halt and Sam literally flew out, and much to the Autobot leaders surprise, leapt onto his leg and held on for dear life. 'Hide me!' He yelled out in a high pitched tone. 'They're going to kill me! They're going to dismember me! I don't want to die without my boys!' He then let go of the leaders leg and leapt behind the Bot couch.
'Sam!' Optimus peeked his head over the side in shock. 'What are you talking about?!' He gently picked up the boy, who had his eyes covered with one hand and his groin area covered by the other. 'Who is going to offline you?'
'Tai and Mikaela!' He squealed out, clutching onto the leaders large thumb now. 'They are going to bury me alive and do the salsa on my grave! I'm not exaggerating!'
Optimus blinked.
'Okay, I am! But still, hide me!'
Optimus glanced over at Bumblebee, who looked just as terrified as Sam. Now he was very alarmed. 'Now Sam, what are you talking about?'
Sam rolled his eyes and slapped his hand over his eyes, beckoning Optimus to put him down.
'Primus's jock strap!' He muttered. 'Do I have to spell it out for all of you?! Bee..help me out!' Bumblebee nodded enthusiastically.
'P!' Both Sam and Bee did what looked liked cheerleading positions, their arms forming a P.
'M!' Than an M shape, which was starting to look quite ridiculous yet humorous.
'S!' They ended with a S shape, which nearly caused Bumblebee to take Ratchet's optic out when his pointed his hand upward.
But that only confused the Autobot's more, the only two who weren't confused to all hell were Bumblebee and Ratchet.
'PMS?' Sunny asked with a confused expression. 'What's that?'
Before Sam could respond, Ratchet interrupted.
'Premenstrual syndrome...it is very common with human females, but the symptoms...' The doc bot shook his head. 'It is hard to believe that women can out live men with all the things they have to go through in life...'
'You've been talking to Sarah Lennox again, haven't you?' Ironhide asked with a gruff tone.
'Maybe.' He replied, shifting his optics back and forth, avoiding the icy gaze from the weapons specialist. 'Anyway, looking at all the Symptoms, I can't say I blame them for getting a little cranky...'
'What are these symptoms exactly? And should we be concerned?' Optimus asked worriedly. 'Is Tatyana very ill?'
'No!' Ratchet sighed. 'But some of the most common ones are mood swings, back aches, head aches, food cravings, crying, bloating, acne, tender breasts...' Sam cringed when Ratcher mentioned that. He didn't know why but he found it creepy to hear a giant robot say 'Tender breasts'. 'Joint or muscle pain...then there's the vaginal bleeding...'
'Alright! Alright! I get it!' Optimus yelled. 'Are you sure that is common? That sounds quite horrendous.'
'Unfortunately, it happens every month for three to five days...' Sam whimpered out. 'And it will keep happening for years to come until they reach an age where that wonderful thing called Menopause kicks in!'
Before anyone could say anything, the sounds of bike engines reached everyone's hearing receptors.
'Oh gosh!!' Sam yelled out in terror, jumping up onto Bumblebee's leg. 'Bee...time for the operation!'
Bumblebee clicked in confusion, clearing asking What Operation?
'Operation Haul ass out of room!' Sam than took off, Bee took the hint and bolted after him.
'They can't honestly be that bad...not Mikaela and Tai...' Optimus didn't know who he was reassuring; his crew or himself.
The two girls walked in, taking off their helmets. Both of them had deep circled under their eyes which indicated that the one symptom 'trouble sleeping' was clearly a true fact.
'Howdy lil' darlin's!' Tai greeted, blowing kisses for all of them. Mikaela just waved, yawning slightly.
'Hello...sweetheart..' Optimus greeted cautiously to his newly adopted daughter. 'How are you...doing today?'
Tai raised an eyebrow at the way he was talking to her. 'Okay...?' She answered, laughing a little. 'I'm fine...'
She felt the familiar tingle of being scanned, she than turned sharply to Ratchet. 'I just said I'm okay, now cut it out!' The medical officer raised an optic ridge at her tone but after looking over his scans, he decided not to push it. Her irritation was steadily growing into the red zone...anymore irritation and a famous raging-mad-Tai would be present. No one wanted that.
'Are you sure you two are alright?' Optimus asked again...rather stupidly on his account.
But instead of the raging-screaming-making Megatron look like a angel-Tai...she actually started crying.
'I came here to see my father and my boyfriend, and all you guys do is question my well-being...!' She wailed, tears streaming down her face. 'I'm fine! It's just PMS! Look it up!' She started to stalk away to the human eating area. She then turned sharply, her eyes now dry but looking incredibly pissed off. 'You all have computers in your heads...use'em!' Than with a loud growling yell, she stalked away, all the while muttering to herself...'Men...Robots, Robots...men...no difference, they're all the same.'
Mikaela shook her head with a grin and turned to the flabbergasted Autobots. She fought back a laugh when she noticed all of their optics were wide, and their jaws were slightly ajar.
'I'd sleep with one optic open tonight, boys.' She said with a mischievous grin. 'Tai can get a little...' She paused, trying to find the right word. 'Cranky.'
She than left the Bots to go join her best friend, who was chowing down on chocolate covered pretzels.
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BTW Chocolate covered pretzels are the perfect snack for someone whose Aunt Flo is visiting...
Salty, and sweet, and Chocolately!
Anyway!
Review!