Chapter 12: Pastry Trolleys and Start of the Prank War
Elladan and Elrohir were curled up under the pastry trolley* as it headed towards the kitchens.
How they had ended up inside a pastry trolley nobody would know but the twins had a knack for doing these kinds of things (which drove Elrond nearly mad) and that's how they ended up there. Regardless of their incredibly squashed situation, the two mischievous elflings had gotten inside Imladris successfully. Now, they needed to somehow escape from the trolley and enter their rooms unseen.
Elrohir was eating a piece of lembas which he had stolen and as he softly munched, he watched as Elladan started thinking. How would they stop the trolley elf so that they could sneak out of it without anybody seeing? He would have appreciated it more if he didn't hear the sound of chewing.
He smacked his brother who glared at him as the lembas flew out of his hands and whacked his brother back. After a small whacking war, they looked at each other calming down. How in Arda did they end up in places like this?
However, they started wincing as the trolley slowly went up some stairs and painfully tried to stay alive as they jumped up and down inside. And they were making a lot of noise too but the trolley elf seemed not concerned about them as they heard a sweet hum.
'Good Elbereth,' thought Elrohir as he thanked the gods he was alive from such horrific journey in the trolley. 'Is this the life of a pastry? Oh dear, I feel some empathy for them now...'
Suddenly, the cart stopped as the elf man stopped abruptly, making Elladan and Elrohir slam against one side of it, their cheeks crushed together and their mouths almost kissing. As they rubbed their injured cheeks and licked off the taste of each other's mouths, a conversation started above them.
"Mae govannen, Galaea!"
"That does not fool me," snapped an angry female voice. "I'm not letting your son court my daughter!"
"Oh c'mon, you're such a sour grape!" snapped the trolley elf's voice, except it was harsher now than before."Why can't you let them fall in love, those young and passionate elflings?"
"In love? Young and passionate? My arse! As long as I live I won't see anybody related to you be courting anybody related to me!"
"Well, I know it's definitely not a cheery thought being related to you one day, but they're elflings! You cannot control your daughter's life!"
"No, but I can keep her away from peasant weasels like your son!"
"Now you're calling my son a peasant weasel? He deserves much better than your daughter, her nose looks like an Oliphaunt bottom!"
"Laurea's nose is perfectly beautiful...but your son's feet smell like orc dung!"
Elladan and Elrohir still inside the trolley, looked at each other hopelessly, doing their 'eye-talk.' They shook their heads as the arguing between the trolley elf and the Galaea she-elf argued.
'Great...this cannot get worse, brother. It seems we are trapped in one of Nana's romance stories!' said Elladan through his eyes.
'And a romantic one indeed,' said Elrohir rolling his eyes as the shouting increased and Elladan stifled his laughter.
Suddenly, Elrohir prodded his brother and pointed out there. Maybe...maybe this was their chance to escape! His brother whispered in his ear, as quietly as he could, "Look outside and see if the coast is safe..."
Elrohir, slowly and fearfully, used his hands to gently open the cloth that was covering them and peaked. Apparently, the argument was being done in the other side, the side where Elladan was and Elrohir poked his head off carefully. The hall was empty and clear, and most of the doors were closed...if they ran and hid close enough...
Elladan poked through as well and they both watched the empty hall, occasionally looking back at the arguing sounds of the trolley elf and Galaea, they took quiet deep breaths. They had to do it: it was now or never.
Despite Galaea's shrieks and the horrible surprised choking sound the trolley elf did, Elladan and Elrohir ran as fast as they could all over Imladris trying to find two possible safe havens: their rooms or their father's office. Although it wasn't easy with all the shouting, scrambling and screaming.
"So Legolas," said Elrond, "you mean to say that my sons could be anywhere in Imladris wearing only their pants* and their shoes?"
Legolas had been the top student in his advance spy regime class. In there, the elves had been drilled about how to handle uncomfortable and inconvenient situations such as having a knife at your throat or being locked in a dungeon. Of course, after so many years, he already knew what to do but there were no instructions on how to act in something as uncomfortable as this. Legolas blushed slightly, embarrassed. 'I'm never involving myself in anything like this, ever again.'
Oh how little did he know.
"Yes Lord Elrond," said Legolas. "And that is exactly why we must hurry up and find them before anybody else does."
Legolas' eyebrows were curled up in worry and confusion as Elrond did completely the opposite Legolas would have thought he would have done: he laughed. It was a truly mighty laugh, with the same booming noise Elladan and Elrohir's but a more reserved kind of mirth. As he laughed and chuckled, Legolas was suddenly struck with something: it had been so long since he heard his Adar laugh.
"Oh Legolas," chuckled Elrond. "Since it is your first time here in Imladris..."
"Yes Lord Elrond?"
"I need to warn you," said Elrond shaking his head smiling. "This will not be the last time you will be dragged in such situations. My sons tend to look for trouble and it follows them everywhere. We are used to such ways...as much as it annoys some people, like poor Erestor."
"But...don't you try to stop them?" asked Legolas curiously. "Don't you ever punish them for their behaviour?"
"Of course I do, Legolas. I do not let their annoying habits run freely so easily. But consider this...they are mere elflings Legolas," said Elrond. "It is better for them to enjoy their childhood as it lasts. It is better for them to hear the sound of laughter before the bells of death and war."
Legolas was silent. He had never gotten a proper childhood and he knew it...but time can never be paid back again. He wished he could retrocede, enjoyed the few moments of childishness he had but he couldn't. He sighed, shaking everything out of his head and said politely. "However Lord Elrond, do you not want to find them?"
"Dear Legolas," said Elrond slowly as they suddenly heard the clashing of pots, the sound of screams and high-pitched shrieks, "did you not hear what I said? They always cause a wreckus around here...they will not be hard to find."
Suddenly, there was a huge clanking noise and the echo of screaming as Elrond and Legolas opened the door and went outside to see what was happening. Elladan and Elrohir were running down the hall chased by a mob of angry people armed with pots and pans. Oblivious to this, Erestor was scanning some document, sipping a cup of tea as he slowly made his way to Lord Elrond's office.
Quickly trying to get in the office, the twins bumped into poor Erestor just in time and the tea was spilled all over his face. He fell backwards, crashing upon the floor and the twins quickly entered the door. As quickly as they had come in, they closed the door and locked it. Suddenly, they faced Legolas and Lord Elrond, who was looking at them amused, yet expectant for an explanation
They blurted out. "Ada, we can explain-!"
Elrond laughed. "You need not...Legolas here, already explained it to me. Really...your wild adventures seem to give me so many headaches, yet they do not tire me."
The twins glared teasingly at Legolas. "You might have won this time...but we'll get our revenge and you will suffer our wrath!"
"I'm most frightened," said Legolas rolling his eyes sarcastically. "But for now...we need to find you two some clothing. You cannot stay like that for lunch."
"Indeed," said Elrond and suddenly, he frowned, as if he had thought of something. "Wait...what color were your clothing?"
"My shirt was white," said Legolas.
"And our shirts were a crisp, light auburn," said the twins. "And our pants a simple brown."
"Well then..." Elrond stood up and unlocked a cabinet, he took a few folded bundles of clothing. "Do these belong to you, by chance?"
"That is my shirt!" exclaimed Legolas grabbing the soft white fabric after thanking Lord Elrond.
"And those are ours!" exclaimed the twins immediately snatching the bundle from their father's hands and dressing themselves with them.
"Where did you find these Ada?" asked Elladan.
"Did somebody give them to you?" asked Elrohir.
"Actually...yes, somebody gave them to me," said Elrond smiling. "Arwen said she was recollecting some water to clean the horses when she saw some clothes flowing down the river. She gave them to me because she didn't know what to do with them."
"But that's impossible!" exclaimed Legolas. "For the pond we were swimming in had only a river that went inside to the pond. There were no rivers going out of the pond..."
The twins looked pretty surprised. Their innocent little sister who had been taught to be a polite, gentle lady had-had done a prank on them? This was unheard of! The Trickster Twins were never challenged in such manner! Especially with pranks. They never failed at pranking...and they wouldn't until they sailed for the Halls of Mandos.
They looked at each other, amused yet a bit enraged.
All of Imladris suddenly stopped whatever they were doing when the noise came out. It was a terribly loud noise and it expressed deep depths of anger, amusement, defiance and indignance. It was a name and the servants felt pity for said person...and they also groaned. Why? Because they knew a lot of trouble was coming up...and that probably involved a mess.
"ARWEN!"
"You're being exaggerated...it was a teensy prank compared to the ones you usually do to me."
Lord Elrond's family and Legolas were gathered together eating lunch. The sunlight poured heavenly through the glass windows as they sat together in the table, which was fully arranged with the most delicious of foods.
The twins glared at Arwen and Elrohir said, "Well, we don't force you to hide in pastry trolleys wearing only your underpants, don't we?"
After Celebrian had made Arwen apologize to the twins, something they thought was not grave enough for what she had done, the three of them had started arguing. Legolas, Celebrian and Elrond ate their food quietly as they watched the conversation become more and more heated.
"No, but-"
"No, 'but's' little sister!" exclaimed Elladan. "This is it...you and your little ferocious minions were begging for it. This is WAR. This is definitely war."
"Oh c'mon-" started Arwen. Her brothers could be incredibly immature sometimes.
"This is prank war!" exclaimed the twins at the same time and the rest of the family groaned, Elrond shaking his head. Legolas looked around curiously...he had no idea what a prank war was but he didn't like anything with the word 'war' in it, so he probably wouldn't like this prank war thing either.
He was starting to think that Imladris elves were very queer.
"Oh no, this is not!" snapped Celebrian. "We've had enough of your 'prank wars' among the house already. And it's only been nineteen years since you were born! Poor Erestor and poor Glorfindel even had to fight back to survive with you. I will not tolerate any of this."
"But we have to do it, Nana," said Elrohir. "You didn't give Arwen her proper punishment, so it's up to us! Or we will riot until fair justice is done here!"
"Well," stated Legolas calmly, "you cannot riot with only two people."
"You mean, three," pointed out Elladan.
"Who is the third person?"
"You," said Elrohir as if it were obvious.
"Me?"
"Yes, you."
"Who said I was part in any of this?" asked Legolas shaking his head repeatedly. Oh no, he wasn't going to be part of all this craziness...and all he had wanted some peace and quiet away from the darkness of Mirkwood. Who knew he'd be in this mess? "I forgive Arwen...after all, it must be difficult dealing with you everyday."
"HEY!" the twins said.
"Legolas is right," said Celebrian. "Why can't you two just forgive Arwen as she is? She already apologized to you sincerely. We could just all end this little misunderstanding here before it grows!"
"Nana, Legolas doesn't understand," said Elladan. "He doesn't understand how important it is to show our pranking territory around here...elves are getting very competitive."
"What elves?" muttered Arwen under her breath but the twins continued their sermon.
"He's a goody-two shoes," nodded Elrohir, finishing off for Elladan. "He has been brainwashed!"
Legolas, frowning, looked from his bowl of fresh fruits. "Excuse me?"
The twins continued their explanation, ignoring Legolas. Elladan continued now. "You see...this is not just any 'little misunderstanding.' It is a challenge! A declaration of war!"
"And didn't you tell us that in war, we had to fight?" asked Elrohir grinning. "And that's what we're going to do! We'll crush Arwen and her evil little minions!"
After a few more hours of hearing the twins and Arwen fight with each other about the prank war, the servants rushed over to carry off the heap of plates to clean later. As they prepared the table for dinner, Legolas leaned closer to Lord Elrond and whispered, "Excuse me Lord Elrond, but is every meal like that?"
"Yes indeed," said Elrond nodding. "For twenty years."
"I do not want to be rude, but I do not know how you could have survived so long."
Elrond laughed and put his arm around Legolas, who felt a bit uncomfortable with the act of affection. "Hannon-le, Legolas. Hannon-le. There is finally somebody who understands."
*When I'm talking about the pastry trolleys, I'm talking about the ones they have in airplanes and stuff. So, Dan and Ro are hanging out in the inside of one of those trolleys, and they're hidden by two pieces of cloth, one in each side.
*I'm not British, but since the Professor is, 'pants' means underpants in British English. Just in case some of you weren't clear of that.
AN: Anyways, ello everybody! :D Here is Chapter 12! One of my favorite ones and more humorous than the others! Sorry for updating SO LATE...but with school coming up on Monday, I have been SO terribly busy! Unfortunately, I got a bottom row locker (even though I'm one of the tallest in my grade) which sucks...but well, if my back starts hurting I'll just start rioting so don't worry about me! :) All my teachers look fantastic and especially our new English one! Now...oh! PRANK WAR! Hahaha...that cannot be good. Who do you think will be the victor? Arwen or the twins?
Now responses to my many reviews, which I am all incredibly grateful for:
Eraman: Really? There were? I might actually have to check too! Thanks for telling me though! :) Man, it's been so long since I've read the Hobbit...ah, so many good memories.
Black Minx 17: Thank you! And I will try my best to update! :D But with school and all coming up...well, *sigh* I'll try to squeeze some time into this. Might have to put this in hiatus for a while though. O_O
Aragorn-Lord: Thank you! And of course I'll do my best to update! :D
Luin: Haha, thanks for all your compliments! Man, I don't know to start...Well, the flashback was meant to be that angsty...or well, emotional you could say. And Gandalf fears for A LOT of things, and one of those things might just hurt Legolas, so beware...And what about Radagast? What do you think he will find? And about the maidens, hahaha, they're only 12 so maybe 'fan girls' is a better term. And haha, don't worry about being called 'crazy.' We, fangirls, are all crazy. And yes, sorry for updating so late...I've been too busy for my own good. Thank Valar for caffeine! ;)
Glitch-e-r-749: Thank you! :D And I will! Oh...and no, this isn't slash. I hate slash and when I do actually do slash, then I put a warning in the first chapter. Obviously I'm not putting Legolas and Arwen into a relationship...that'd be against the Professor's storyline.
Naruthirnith-of-Greenwood.001: Aw, thank you so much! I'm so glad you're liking this story so far! :) And yes, I do love Thranduil...I think he's just such an interesting character to play with and I'm glad you actually like him. Many of the other readers thought he was pretty...awful let's say. But it's all part of character development! And about the twins, yes, they do play an important part here in this particular story! And once again, thank you and I will try to update as much as I can...with school coming up it will be no easy task.