Author's note: I HAVE A STORY FOLLOWER. Oh wow, this is really cool. Because of you, I have written an entire new chapter today. I hope you like it, my friend, because I like you! Just some warnings again; this is slash, this is AU, there will be language, blah blah blah. If you do not want to be exposed to these things, do not read this. If you do, wonderful. Welcome.
As for my update schedule, I write pretty quickly, so you can expect a chapter every few days.
Much love.
"Towering genius disdains a beaten path. It seeks regions hitherto unexplored."
After waiting approximately twelve minutes- during which he inhaled a large slice of cake- he couldn't wait any longer. He shuffled back to his computer, the trusty computer that had bleached his already pale skin even paler, and anxiously pulled up the website. He tapped his fork against his mouth as he waited for the site to boot up his account, and when it did, there was a flashing indicator:
(3) NewMessages.
Oh. He hadn't exactly expected any responses that quickly, let alone three. He wasn't exactly what people called "traditionally handsome". He had a symmetrical face, yes, and he understood that contributed significantly to one's attractiveness. But he was also absurdly thin, especially considering the amount of sugar he consumed daily. His eyes were large and dark, his skin was the palest he's ever seen on a human in real life, and he also had a mass of thick, dark hair on top of his head that refused to adhere to any semblance of order.
Honestly, he thought he looked vaguely like a hedgehog.
"But," he reminded himself, "not an entirely unpleasant hedgehog. I am very flexible, after all, and I can offer advice about cooking in relation to the sweeter things."
His hand hovered over the "message open" button.
"No, no," he muttered chidingly to himself. "Have a bit of self discipline."
He decided he would check his bio page first- for the fourteenth time- to check for any grammatical errors or flaws in his sentence structure that would put people off. There were, of course, none. He had checked and double checked and quadruple checked everything.
So, of course, he began to read everything again.
In the interest section, he had put:
Theoretical physics, classic Russian literature, designer neckties, opera, and pastry making are all passions I indulge, along with a long list of others. This list is available upon request, of course, but I did not include it here in order to save space and the time of those reading this.
In the "about you" section, he'd written:
I am currently a high school student. I will attend Princeton, Yale, or possibly Brown upon my graduation. I am motivated and I enjoy primarily intellectual pursuits, but I do have a lighter side; I enjoy British television comedy, particularly The Mighty Boosh, travelling- particularly trying new varieties of desserts, and watching movies.
Those two hadn't been massively difficult; he'd really only worried about not making himself sound like a robot. People often told him that he both wrote and spoke like one. Although he thought they were wrong, and only thought that because they hadn't been properly exposed to proper grammar, he'd worried about it anyway, but not very intently. It was the third section that had forced him to sit and think intently; it was a section asking:
What would you like in a partner?
It had been written in small, densely bolded letters like it was meant to be heavy and threatening. He'd already thought about this, intently and in detail, but how was he supposed to type it in such a way that it was not only artful and non-threatening, in addition to conveying his needs? How much could he say without being overtly sexual?
His first draft had been written as thus:
I am looking for an individual as passionate about intellectual affairs as I am, but they must also be passionate about carnal sex, occasionally with some elements of roleplay and/or bondage.
That was nixed for obvious reasons. Too scary. Besides, he could discuss bedroom preferences with them in their early correspondences, to see if they were compatible.
Next draft:
I am looking for someone who is willing to spend large amounts of time discussing books, foreign affairs, and other intellectual pursuits with me.
He stopped there. It wasn't right; it was too dry- it completely danced around everything he needed in a partner. He sighed, and hit the backspace button until there was once again nothing but a blank text box and a blinking cursor.
Third draft:
I am looking for someone with similar interests- I want to be able to go from discussing organic chemistry to watching a relatively mind numbing action flick with them. Honesty, directness of communication and a mutual drive for success in life is important. I would like to have someone who knows exactly what they want- not only out of themselves, but out of our interaction. I appreciate depth.
He was relatively satisfied with that one, and so that had been the one he'd posted roughly seventeen minutes ago now, including the time it had taken him to re-re-re-re-read everything after his slice of cake.
He was finally ready to open the messages.
And so he clicked the flashing "(3) NewMessages" on the top of his page.
The first one was of very little interest- it was from a man named Matsuda. He came off as a bit brash, and it seemed he had not spellchecked his message prior to sending it. He read it twice, and thoroughly satisfied that Matsuda the high-level television executive was not for him, he sent the poorly spelled message whizzing off to his little internet trashcan.
The second one was from a man named Teru Mikami. This one had no immediately visible grammatical or spelling errors, and so he read it through. It seemed that Mikami was a wealthy man through an inheritance he'd received as a young man, and he spent his time volunteering with at-risk children to prevent them from becoming criminals.
It would have been really, terribly cute, had L liked children.
As he did not, he sent that one flying into his virtual dumpster, too.
The third one was completely ridiculous, firstly because it was from a blonde, frighteningly perky woman. He'd been sure to select men as his preference to be displayed on his profile. Secondly, it was rife with ALL CAPS PHRASES and lots of SUPER CUTE references to L as a yummy snack "Misa-Misa would just be SOOOOO HAPPY to eat up ;D 3"
L was completely unamused. Had he been able to set the virtual message on fire, he would have done so. As he could not, he settled for stabbing at the mouse rather violently to send it to the garbage.
That marked the end of the messages.
He logged off, exited the browser window, danced to a song, and read eight chapters of IQ84 by Haruki Murakami.
Eleven minutes had passed.
He looked up at the computer sitting on his bed from the corner he was reading in, seemed to lose a staring match with it, and , with an agility one would not have expected from such a tiny creature, leapt onto the bed and pulled the computer into his lap in one fluid movement.
He logged back on.
(1) NewMessage.
He adjusted his position on the bed anxiously, arranging the covers around his shoulders and head to create a sort of burrow, and then felt comfortable enough to open the message.
It was from someone called Light Yagami. Prior to reading, he clicked on his name so he could view his profile and pictures- he'd learned his lesson after the last few. As soon as it loaded, L inhaled a quick breath and put his face closer to the screen than would have been considered appropriate in any public setting.
He was looking at the walking, breathing dream- the perfect example of everything that L had dreamed about in a partner.
His cover picture was of him, smiling brilliantly, in a casual sweater and pant ensemble on a boat of some kind. His hair was a lovely, rich caramel, and his eyes were this provocative combination of brown and red that reminded him strongly of a caramel apple when his teeth had scraped away just enough of the caramel so that he could see the delicious red hidden beneath it. He looked to be tall, probably about 6'2 or 6'3, and leanly muscular.
L's nose hit the screen, and he drew back some before hitting the arrow button to view his next picture.
Holy motherfucking shit.
He was wearing a suit and glasses. The suit had obviously been cut exclusively for him, as it fit his body better than anything L could imagine aside from nudity. And the glasses fit his face exquisitely, making those eyes look even more suggestive than they had before.
He quickly scrolled down to see if the beautiful man's personality and interests could possibly match up with his own.
He held his breath while he read. It seemed that Light had studied Chemistry and Comparative Literature during his time as an undergrad, and had then gone on to law school, afterwards earning the highest score on the bar exam in the entire state.
Holy. Shit.
He also enjoyed reading, playing the violin, tennis, watching movies, and keeping up with current events.
He switched back to the messages screen with the senseless speed of the hopeful, and opened Light's first correspondence- first of what he hoped would be many.
L,
I was very pleased to read your profile. I've not run across many listing such varied and interesting intellectual pursuits. This, in conjunction with your frankly intoxicating photos, forced me to send a message to you. We seem to be interested in the same things, and we seem to desire the same things out of a partner. I'd love to correspond with you more in order to determine if we'd be compatible. Just to break the ice a bit, I'll give you a bit of an elaboration on what was in my profile; I'm a patent attorney, and I enjoy my work very much. I find it to be very stimulating- I am constantly forced to look at things in new ways, and I often get to switch subjects. I've learned a lot about completely unrelated things over the years. Speaking of years, I'm 37. (I do apologize, I couldn't think of a wittier way to slide my age elegantly into the stream of this letter.) I am completely unbothered by this gap in our ages, and based on your profile, I'm going to assume you aren't either. If I am incorrect, I'll assume you won't respond. Otherwise, I look forward to hearing from you.
P.S. I want the full list of your activities as mentioned in your profile.
Best Regards,
Light
As he began to feverishly type out a reply, L had both a massive smile on his face and a hard-on between his legs.