Disclaimer: Downton abbey belongs to PBS, ITV Masterpiece and Julienne fellows
3 weeks later
As Matthew Crawley flexed his fingers and catching little fairies of dust while resting in hospital bed, he had a very odd thought.
It's been nearly 3 weeks he has been here, 2 spent most of time in pain and medicines and 1 week of physical rest and training to be normal
To be normal he gave a snort, his life was nothing but normal ever since entering downton his life has taken several turns which made him question about life over and over again
Indeed Robert crawley has changed his life.
When he first arrived, he was set on not to let anything change him, he was utterly despicable with his valet and headstrong and stubbornness took place.
Then came Mary, who despite being intelligent, smart and pretty was a horrid girl to him.
All that changed in course of few months when he saw real Mary Crawley emerge.
He felt pretty special that he was the only who can bring out the best and worst in her as she did to him
And thank lord he didn't lose his memories , he did though sustained several injuries , fractured ribs , a crushed leg which had to be replaced with fake one , his back hurt , but thank goodness his mind was sane , as it can be , he did however had a painful headaches whenever pain emerges , he sometimes loses control of his body and fails to stand upright on his own.
He had to use a cane, which made him laugh because he did use cane when he was injured during war.
But this time he wasn't lucky, the fake leg doesn't work for him, but the doctors tried very hard to bring him about.
Also he was in a remote place, whose name he forgot which was far away from downton.
Many people asked him who he was , where he come from , but Matthew kept himself , he knew if he tells them , word will spread that future heir of Grantham is alive and God knows how is family will search for him .
No he doesn't want to be found again, he doesn't want them to know the wounds and scars he had sustained again and again, he doesn't want their pity and sorrowful eyes again and their remarks how he is supposed to be active and running his estate this is torture for both of them.
He really doesn't want his wife to find him like this again.
The self loathing crept up on him during war , when he was injured badly , at that time Mary was sweet and kind to him , he always thought how someone like her can be like that , he thought it could be plot , to break off with his fiancée , and be with Mary again .
But in one part he welcomed Mary in a new way , they were friends , there was no marriage looming around , no downton heir issue , no games and motives just them , it was like time stopped for them and they got to know each other in a new way .
Mary who was engaged to Richard chalisle at that time , spend countless hours with Matthew , pushing his wheelchair around , discussing poetry , literature , nature of course the sensitive topic was left out .
But this he liked it, even though he knew he had her pity, it was welcoming, they were friends rather than they were pushed again in circle of marriages and heir ship.
This was what he wanted and he got it.
But he knew Mary she would never settle with a cripple man , who cant bore her children , destroy her future , for Mary deserved happiness and a picture perfect future and he can't do that her , it will be punishing her and selfish .
Now as a husband with fake leg could she ever accept it?
The doctor might have diagnosed wrong that time, but this time the evidence is clear, fake leg it is, would not this repulse her?
What about his son? His beautiful baby boy, who might be bit grown now, would he accept a father who has been crippling all his life?
Would he love him as Matthew loved his son?
Or would he be embarrassed like all elite children are when they are presented in society.
The society would be cruel to them because of him, a middle class lawyer with fake leg.
John bates had easy, but he Matthew Crawley has to be perfect in every way.
The second reason was nagging him since day one of his accident.
Who could have done this? Who would have messed with his breaks and made it look like an accident, hence to kill him?
Only he survived. But he knew his survival comes with cost, whoever messed with his breaks, would be after his family too, whoever intended to kill him, had to be after Mary, and this time he has to stop it.
He knew he never fought for Mary, he let her slip through fingers many times but this time he was damned if anyone hurts her.
He will find out, who did this, whatever it takes, and this time he will not be merciful.