More angst coming your way! Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!
Emma's parents are to be married in the town called Storybrooke on Valentine's Day and they have expressed fervent wishes that Emma attends the wedding. As soon as Killian hears about it he tells her that she needs to go and offers to go with her, and somehow between the three of them Emma lets herself be talked into going even though she knows that there's a very strong possibility the trip will make Killian realize how complicated sharing a life with her would be.
She had tumbled head over heels into love with him and although she hopes he's strong enough to deal with this, she would very much like to know now and minimize the heartbreak.
Elsa agrees to take Daisy for the weekend and Emma throws herself into planning; the trip to Storybrooke would take ten hours by car and just three by plane, and although Emma had never flown she picks the plane because the longest she'd been in a car was half an hour and even that was pushing her dangerously close to a panic attack.
Killian tells her that he'd been in a plane only once but doesn't elaborate, and Emma is too busy packing and double-checking everything about the flight and the wedding to ask him if he has any objections to their means of transporatation, which proves to be a mistake as soon as they settle into their seats and Killian grows frighteningly quiet.
Emma manages to do her own seatbelt and when Killian asks her if she can give him a hand a chill of premonition rushes down her spine, but she focuses her attention on joining the two halves and leaving it to Killian to tighten it enough.
"Are you okay?" She asks him when the plane starts moving and lays her hand on his forearm to find his muscles bunched, further exploration proving that his hand is squeezing the armrest so hard his knuckles must be turning white. "Killian… are you afraid of flying?"
"Aye", he answers in a rough voice and Emma gently pries his fingers from the armrest and entwines them with hers.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks, intending to distract him with questions until they are up in the air.
"You're afraid of driving", he tells her and ducks his head so that it appears they are both staring at his hand.
"We could've found some other way to get to Storybrooke", she says, trying not to sound pissed off because he's attempting to conquer his fear, and she doesn't want to be ungrateful.
"If driving and flying are out, the only thing that remains is sailing and-", Killian cuts himself off and squeezes her hand tightly because the plane is starting to pick up speed. "Bloody Hell."
"Close your eyes", Emma tells him and lays her free hand on his forearm, hoping that he'll listen to her and get through this without completely freaking out. "Just listen to my voice."
"We had turbulence all the way from England when I first came to the States and-"
"This is a short flight, and we're not crossing the ocean", Emma reassures him, her fingers caressing his as the plane leaves the earth and slowly starts climbing. "Everything is going to be okay."
"Sorry for ruining the trip before it even started", Killian says and Emma shakes her head, sliding her hand up his arm and cupping his face.
"You didn't ruin anything, Killian. I'm sorry for being so wrapped up in planning that I didn't even notice you were apprehensive. Should've known when you let me have the window seat", Emma says and Killian chuckles, slightly easing his grip on her hand but still holding on.
"I know how important it was to you and your parents that you came to their wedding, and I was scared you'd cancel the whole thing", Killian tells her and even with the plane full of people around them, it feels like they are all alone in their little bubble.
"We could take the train back", Emma suggests even though they've dismissed that option at the beginning because neither was thrilled with the idea of a twenty-four hour trip with multiple transfers.
"I'm coming to the realization that flying isn't so scary when you're here to hold my hand", Killian tells her and smoothes his thumb over the back of her hand, then traces it over her knuckles which has her suddenly blinking back tears because she knows that it's too late.
There will be no protecting her heart from breaking because it's already filled to the brim with something that very much resembles love.
The plane lands in Bangor on time and Killian leads them through the airport maze quickly but carefully, his bag slung on his shoulder as he rolls Emma's suitcase while she holds onto his elbow and tries to control the panic that always rises in unfamiliar spaces.
Mary Margaret and David greet them at the gate and hug Emma as if they haven't seen her for months instead of days but even then Emma doesn't let go of Killian; he senses her uneasiness and stays close, and ten minutes later they are sitting side by side in the back seat of David's truck; Emma breathes a sigh and lies her head on Killian's shoulder, closing her eyes and trying to mentally prepare for the rest of the day.
Once they reach Storybrooke's only B&B Emma's parents introduce them to Ruby, then depart to make sure preparations for the wedding are still on track.
"Would you two like to explore the town or eat something first?" Ruby asks and Emma digs her fingers into Killian's arm because all she wants is to sit down and finally relax.
"The flight has been trying, so we would like to settle into our room first", Killian says and Emma nods, not even caring if she's doing so in Ruby's direction or slightly off.
"Of course", Ruby reassures them and leads them through winding hallways and up the stairs they have to descend one at a time, Emma's heart hammering all the way up. "And here we are. The bathroom is through here and you have a lovely view of the harbor."
"Thank you, lass", Killian says and Ruby leaves, telling them to call if they need anything, including room service they don't usually do but they will for Mary Margaret's daughter and her boyfriend.
Emma's chest feels too tight and her voice is small when she asks Killian if he can lead her to the bed, gratefully sinking on the edge of it when he does and finally feeling like she can breathe normally again.
"Lass? Is everything alright?" Killian asks and sits down next to her, gently prying her fingers from his arm.
"I'm fine", Emma says a little harsher than necessary and feels her stomach drop at the idea of familiarizing herself with the room and the bathroom with Killian watching her.
"Are you sure? You look-"
"I need a little time on my own", Emma cuts him off and bites her lip because she didn't mean to sound so rude. "You can go downstairs and eat something. I can hear your stomach complain."
"You want me to leave you here alone?" Killian asks incredulously and now she's properly pissed off.
"I'm not helpless. I don't need you hovering around", Emma tells him and his sharp intake of breath is impossible to miss.
"Very well", he says curtly and before she can apologize the door is already closing behind him.
Killian pauses on the top of the stairs and looks back at the closed door that hides Emma from him, then shakes his head and goes down into the diner but doesn't stop to eat, just passing through on his way to the street.
He doesn't feel hungry anymore, just deeply confused with Emma's behavior and more than a little hurt by the way she had dismissed him.
Storybrooke looks like a charming, sleepy town, but Killian doesn't pay much attention to his surroundings, trying to figure out what had gotten into Emma to suddenly become so prickly; he knows that the trip was as trying on her as it was on him, but he doesn't think it's a good enough excuse for her to be mean to him.
But then again, he can only imagine how frustrating it must be to depend on others to get you from point A to point B when you're in an unfamiliar environment, so Killian decides to cut her some slack and goes into the flower shop along the way to buy Emma something to cheer her up.
He doesn't want to be away for long because he doesn't want Emma to feel abandoned, but he picks up burgers, fries and drinks at the diner and carries them back up to their room on a tray, turning down Ruby's offer to carry it for him.
"Emma? Can I come in?" He asks when she doesn't answer after he knocks on the door with his elbow and he's about to break down the door when it opens and reveals Emma, wearing jeans and that fuzzy pink sweater she loves so much, her hair in a ponytail and a guarded look on her face.
"I'm sorry", she tells him and steps back to let him in, then gently closes the door and leans against it. "I didn't mean to snap at you."
"It's alright. I brought food", he says and sets the tray on the small table before he takes off his jacket and slips the daffodil into Emma's hand. "And a flower."
"Thank you", she says softly and bites her lip, turning the stem in her fingers and looking slightly lost.
"Are you alright, love?" He asks her, all his frustration draining away because he hates to see her like this; even though she's trying to hide how uncertain she is, her eyes give her away, wide and doe-like, and he doesn't fight the instinct to take the hand that's not clutching the flower he'd given her. "Tell me what's bothering you."
"I don't want to be so needy", she says, her voice barely above a whisper and her head ducked so that he can't see her face properly.
"Swan, come on. You're not needy at all", he murmurs and tips her chin up with his fake hand, pain piercing his heart when he notices how bright her eyes are with unshed tears.
"I kept clinging to you all day today."
"You were not clinging, love, and I don't mind leading you", he says, finally realizing what all of this is about.
"You might not mind it now, but imagine doing it day in and day out, always having to guide me somewhere and doing things for me", Emma says, the pleading look in her eyes making it difficult to speak around the lump that has suddenly lodged itself into his throat.
"Emma… I don't want to sound insensitive, but it's not as bad as you think it is", he tells her cautiously and rushes to explain when she looks stricken. "I don't presume to know what's it like to be blind, but you're handling it amazingly and having you hold onto my arm is not a burden you seem to think it is. Nor will it ever be."
"You can't know that", Emma says softly and he wants to shake her and tell her he loves her but he's fairly certain that would only make her close up.
"Was is a burden to you that I wouldn't let go of your hand on the plane and that you had to talk me through the flight?" Killian tries another approach and Emma contemplates that for a moment, then shrugs and tells him that it's not the same. "Maybe not, but there are other instances when you had to help me, and until now it had never occurred to me that you might find it annoying."
"I don't!" Emma hastens to reassure him, her hand releasing his so that she can press her palm against his cheek. "I'm just so scared."
"I'm not going anywhere, Emma. I promise you", he tells her and caresses her smooth skin with his knuckles, catching a tear on his thumb and leaning in to kiss her forehead. "I know how I feel about you, and I know that I will never get tired of helping you."
"I hope so", Emma whispers and lets him hold her, and Killian realizes that there are no words that are going to convince her.
He's just going to have to show her by staying by her side no matter what.
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