Disclaimer: Downton abbey belongs to julienne fellows and PBS, Masterpeice, and ITV
A/N : Hello as I am fairly new to world of downton and world of fan fiction , and I won't dare to change things but few tweaks will be there , your constructive reviews are welcomed , this fic intends to be bit dark , a side we didn't get to see of Matthew's in TV show , which I know he was completely capable of , it might be one point perspective , but that could be changed later , so bear with me please for my heart still yearns for Matthew as he never left . Thank you
Matthew splashed water in his face, he looked at his image in the bathroom mirror and he was unrecognizable.
He had lost his most of weight , gone was the boyish look with full cheeks and fresh face , his eyes seemed empty and cold , his cheeks were hollow , there was a huge scar from his left ear to neck indicating the scar which he received in accident .
God was merciful when he survived the accident, by length of his injuries, he would have been fairly been dead had it not been some villagers who found him in dead of night with faint pulse and brought him here.
He shook his hair , he was asked to wash his hair , it was dirty and grimy , he did wash off but the dirt and grime didn't even lessened with showers he got .
Life in hospital was not easy; he rarely talked and tried to work on his fake leg.
True the fake leg was starting to help a bit, but no more than few minutes, than he would sit down and start again.
And this was the problem
The problem was he was asked to leave the hospital, or rather he asked to leave, he stayed far too long, and his family will be worried sick he proclaimed.
The doctors were quite shocked to know he even had a family , of course he wanted to go , but the prosthetic leg was a major issue , he can't walk for miles but constant request and several arguments after the hospital staff was generous enough to drop him off near Yorkshire in a wagonette .
From there he could pick his journey.
Of course reaching ripens and downtown abbey would take its time, but he can rest for few days, and have to go major change in following days.
He wanted to change himself, he already lost too much weight, he couldn't barge in and state that has alive like cousin Patrick but he can be in a disguise.
He had a most ultimate plan to uncover the culprit who did this to him.
He had figured that his assassin whoever he is would have thought that Matthew is dead; he would go after Mary as soon as it was confirmed.
He can't be with his son and wife but he can protect them.
How? He doesn't know yet but this has to be done quickly as soon he reaches ripen .
The doctor examined him one last time; he gave him all the medicines and necessary steps to care for himself.
"Are you sure?" the doctor asked worriedly.
"Yes, I have to see my family, they are worried about me "he replied
"Who is in your family? Do you have a wife? Because of you have, you can tell me her name I can send telegram saying that you are here, this will save both time and money "
Matthew considered it, he would really like to see his wife here, and no doubt his wife would be here in a heartbeat. But he doesn't want Mary to see him like this, he has to treat himself better and find out the identity of his attempted killer before revealing himself to Mary.
How he longed to touch his wife , if he knew Mary , she would be searching for him , possibly herself , others would have assured her that he is dead but she won't accept it , his Mary was fearless brave and all good things combined , contrary what he first thought of her.
But this would be too dangerous, he can't risk Mary's life.
He shook his head "no I don't think it will be wise, I don't have a wife, my parents are dead, and all I have some distant cousins, I would go to them after all since they are only family I have been left "
"But surely if you call them they will come and collect you "the doctor suggested
"I don't think so, I have to see them myself besides they don't even know if I am alive or not, this would be a pleasant surprise for them" he smiled at thought of Robert suddenly finding him alive, his happiness would be countless of course.
" fine but if you , no listen to me if you ever need my help , telegram me instantly , I may be far but I can see what I can do and please take care of yourself " the doctor handed his card and pleaded.
Matthew looked at him with such gratefulness, they were the reason he was alive, he was thankful to so many of them, and owed them a huge debt.
"I can't thank you enough, I just want to say if not you than I wouldn't been alive "he spoke softly.
The doctor laughed and patted him in back.
Downton Village
Returning to his home was the most oddest feeling he ever had , while he was tired from his long journey , he wanted very much to go back to Crawley house , his mother would be worried sick , his heart twisted at thinking how his old mother who is so strong about her beliefs will suffering her absence, she did not like when he decided to live at downton after marriage , she wanted them to live themselves so that he and Mary can normality in their married life , he adopted for this idea but several things happened instantly , they nearly lost the estate had Matthew not saved them and become in charge and therefore forcing them to stay , plus Mary wanted to live with her parents and her sisters , he couldn't deny her that .
As the twilight struck, he went for a short walk, just to be close to his home, maybe he can look through the window and watch his mother reading by the fire, earlier that day, he had bought some hair dye, the fashion was getting popular and so he decided to dye his blond hair into dark brown in this way his killer would never know he is in downton, his picture of his wedding day were in newspaper of course, concealing his identity was important
He walked the road which led to his home, brushing off few stones here and there, he came upon his mother's neatly kept garden, her herbs and vegetables and the trees she so lovingly planted.
'May I ask what are you doing there mother? 'He saw his mother gardening when he came upon her after work.
His mother smiled and tended the earth with affection.
'Gardening my son, did you saw Mr. Mosley's flowers the other day? Weren't they beautiful?" she asked as she planted the seeds.
" yes mother I saw indeed they were quite pretty and no surprise when he won the award assuming the heart of change of cousin violet's " he sipped his tea and watched her work.
His mother laughed and brushed her arm over forehead leaving a trail of mud in her face.
"Mum wait "he reached for napkin and wiped off the mud he smiled at her and bend down with her.
"I wonder what flower Mary likes "she grinned.
Matthew was caught off guard, he didn't say anything, he knew that his mother knew about his secret affection for Mary but he had hidden it so well.
"Doesn't matter, I don't think she is a flower type girl who will tend her garden like you do "he replied quietly.
His mother tended after calia lilies and gives him an encouraging smile.
"Do you like her?"
"What? " Matthew was again caught off guard.
"I said do you like her or is it love now?" she asked
"I don't know what you are talking about "he dodged the question while heat flushed in his cheeks.
" all I am saying that you are my son and I love you very much and therefore I will be happy whatever choice you make even if its Mary" she looked him in the eye if challenging him.
So his mother will be happy even if it's Mary? Or any choice he will make.
"What if I were say marry a middle class girl like you would you accept her?" he smirked
"Yes I will, but I will be happier if you marry with your own choice and for love" she said while sipping her tea
Why his mother has to be like that? So neutral and supportive
" that's a dilemma you are giving me mother , I know you are not fond of Mary and she wouldn't suit this lifestyle , she is used to riches and finer dinners , I can't give her that , I can't even let her steal her away from downton even when I am the earl I would have like to start my life normally , Robert may live for another 40 years and Mary and I would be a blizzard which couldn't be stopped " he said firmly.
"A very powerful blizzard "his mother remarked.
He sighed, he knew his mother would never give up but the good thing about her she won't push him like others pushed Mary.
Maybe Mary doesn't need pushing, she has her own free will and she likes to keep it just like him.
"Matthew all I am saying there is no harm in trying "she told him.
"Pardon?"
"You don't need others to tell you that you like her, you already do, she could surprise you Matthew had she be given choice" his mother said.
Matthew considered this for a long time what's the harm, he liked Mary, enjoyed her company, she was tore able if she was in good mood, and there was so much intelligence in her.
They might enjoy each other.
This could be it, God he's going to ask her, he knows Mary will never accept him but a chance was all he had, and maybe they can learn to love each other?
In his heart a spark burst into a flame.
Matthew closed his eyes and let few tears drop , it was so hard on them , Mary rejecting him , him getting hurt , but most of all what the events took toll on his poor mother who so adamant in getting them together not just because of estate because she realized the depth of the feelings her son harbored for the girl.
They always ended up hurting each other.
Of course after marriage Mary and his mother had gotten very close, he liked the idea of two being friends.
Now he wonders if they are still supporting each other, he knows Mary could turn bitter, he hoped his mother was drawing her out of that bitterness
They were already suffering because of one stupid accident.
Maybe he could save them torment and reveal himself, they could be free of the pain of hurt killer be damned.
His mother was sitting quietly by fire, which was looking into deep into embers.
But besides Mary the killer could be after his mother too, mother of earl is never safe these days.
She had been crying, her handkerchief was wet with tears, as Matthew looked into that window, a thousand apologies rose to his throat.
How much he wanted to be in her arms.
His mother would be so happy to have her baby back. She will make him eat and rest and tend after him
For he will be always her baby.
His tears were unstoppable now, half a mind to go to her, half a mind not to go.
'I am so sorry maman'
If by instance his mother turned her head towards the window.
Matthew ducked back in the shadows.
As Isobel Crawley shut the window of her living room, she felt a faint whisper in ears but this would be an imagination filled with grief and shock
I love you maman.
Review please