A/N: Sorry for the late update guys. Been busy with my life that I can't find a time to finish this chapter but thankfully I finished this tonight so Yay!
Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, follows, PMs. Really appreciate them all :)
On this chapter: Finchel, HudChangEvans, Blinntana, Finn's goal.
Sorry for the errors.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Enjoy!
I think I really messed it all up now. No, really, I'm not even trying to be humble. I think this is the biggest mistake that I ever did in my life. Because here I am, waiting for some miracle to happen that Rachel will somehow run back to me and hug me, whispering I love yous while peppering me with kisses and we will be happy as a couple promising each other forever.
But I know all of that will never going to happen. All of that was only a wishful thinking. Because Rachel Berry doesn't look like she's happy from what I've just said. She looked torn and scared and angry as she glared at me.
I don't really know why I said it. Maybe because I was so too caught up in the moment that I just have to say it to her, not caring on how she would react. And now look where it'd gotten me.
"I have to go," she said as she turned her back from me.
"Rachel, wait!" I stood up from the bed and ran to her, pulling her arm to face me. "Rachel!"
"What?" she snapped, yanking her arm from my grasp.
"Look, I'm sorry if you're upset from what I've said but it's true. I'm in love with you and – "
"Why?" she cuts me. "Why would you fall in love with me?"
"Why wouldn't I be? You've become the most important girl in my life right now and – "
"Well, it's stupid, Finn." She bit out, taking a step back as I blinked a few times while I stare at her? Did she really just say that?
"It's stupid to fall in love with you?" I asked slowly in disbelief. How can she say such a thing?
"You know what? I don't want to talk about this anymore." She turns to leave but turns around once again. "And it's not true, Finn. Whatever it is that you're saying that you feel about me, it's not real. You're just saying that because we've been spending a lot of time together and we do stuff, that's it. What you're feeling is just messing up with your head right now." and with that, she finally turn around once again and walked away without looking back.
"It is real," I muttered, speaking to no one. I sighed and lay back down to my bed.
Well, that turned out great. What supposed to be a great day for both of us suddenly turns into a depressing day. Just because of my stupid mouth. Well, she said it when I told her that I love her. She said it was stupid. She said it's not real. What do I really have to do to make her believe that what I feel for her is true?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Wait," Sam paused the game and turns to me, as well as Mike. I'm on Mike's house when I decided to hang out with the guys because I think I haven't seen them around anymore. Well, actually it's because of Rachel and maybe Quinn. We decided to play our favorite game which is Call of Duty and they asked me on how my life was right now; I can't help telling them what is actually happening. I realized that they are trustworthy enough to share this kind of information and kind of needing some guys' advice right now. We are at Mike's room, sitting on the floor as they stare at me when Sam paused the game.
"Let me get this straight," Sam said. "You've been hooking up with Rachel Berry all this time since that party at Santana's house and you're just telling us right now? What the fuck, dude? We're best friends, I thought you trust us." Sam glared, making me feel a bit guilty.
"I'm sorry, okay?" I said. "But would you believe me when I said this you before?"
"Well, of course, man! We're buddies and we are good looking guys. It's not a surprise if one of us gets a hot chick once in a while."
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Okay, my fault. I didn't realize that you would actually think of me like that."
"So, what do you want to do now?" Mike asked, joining the conversation. "Now that you've confessed your feelings for her, what's the next step?"
I sighed and put the controller down and drank from my beer, which is actually not a usual drink for me but since I kind of owed some bonding time with these two, I got to accept what they give me.
"I actually have no idea right now. It's the second time that she kind of dumped me and I don't know if I should still continue having this secret relationship with her. It's stressing me out every single day."
"Why do you think she's like that? You know, rejecting you every time you say stuff like that?" Sam asked.
"I'm clueless. We've been doing this for weeks now and I still have no idea what's going on with her." I leaned back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
"Have you tried talking to her friends? Asking them about her?" Mike asked.
"No," I looked at him. "I don't even know her friends aside from Santana. And what should I say to them anyway? Hey I'm Finn and I'm kinda having this secret relationship with your friend. Can you tell me why she rejected me twice when I told her that I love her?" I said, sarcasm is very obvious in my voice. I can't help it. I'm too emotionally exhausted from all of this.
"Yeah, you're kinda right," Sam agreed. "How about her step brother you're talking about? What's his name again? Blake?"
"Blaine. He's at Dalton and I don't know if he can say anything about her step sister. Siblings always have each other's backs and I'm not sure if he even likes me."
"Well, you said that he kinda did, right? So why don't you go see him then?" Sam asked. "We can come with you if you like."
"Yeah, that'd be cool, man," I smiled at them. "Thanks for this and I'm sorry if I've been distant to the both of you."
"No need to be sentimental, dude. Just make sure that you get the girl in the end, okay?"
"And you should definitely go talk to Santana. I think she's your best shot at this." Mike said.
Our little intervention ended immediately when Sam already resumes our game when he noticed that I'm not going to say anything back.
The next day, I found myself looking for Santana. I think Mike is right about this. I honestly don't know what Rachel deal is and I want to find out more about her. The best chance at it is to either talk to his brother, Blaine, or to her obviously best friend, Santana.
I immediately saw her standing on her locker. She notices me as I made my way to her, closes her locker and leaned back to it as she crossed her arms and waited for me with a smirk on her face.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" she greeted and stared at me from head to toe. "Rachel is so lucky she got to you first. Hey, if you two done with each other, you should give me a call. I can do a lot more than Rachel, you know. I have this thing that I do with my tongue that – "
"Okay," I cut her sexual comments that is actually making me uncomfortable and turned on at the same time. It's Santana freaking Lopez. I don't think any guy wouldn't get turned on when she's talking like that. Okay, maybe Kurt and other gay guys but come on, it's freaking obvious that she's a hot big deal.
"I came here to talk to you about something." I said.
"Okay, what is it, biggie?" she grinned devilishly. Okay, I don't know why she called me that but I have a feeling that Rachel might have been talking to her about some things that we do that I think should probably just stay between the two of us.
"It's about Rachel." I saw her frowned and put her arms to her sides.
"What about her?" she cocked her head to the side. I looked around for a second and when I find out that no one is actually watching us, I turned back to Santana as she waits for me with her eyebrow arched.
"Um, here's the thing," I said. "I wanna know everything about her. She seems very hard to understand because sometimes she's like this and then suddenly she's like that. I can't keep up with her. She's very difficult to read." I sighed when she just stared at me like I said something she never heard before.
"Okay, first of all, I feel a bit offended that we have our first ever conversation just right now and we're talking about someone behind her back and second, you are the first guy who actually look like someone who cares for her and have balls to talk to someone like me about her so I salute you. But no."
"No?" I asked, confused.
"No, I'm not gonna tell you everything about her because a, I don't talk about someone who I cared about behind their sexy backs, b, it's really not my story to tell and c, I can't talk to you about her when we're just standing here in the hallway. She's Rachel Berry. There's a lot going on with that girl and it gonna be awhile before you heard everything."
"Okay," I said slowly. "Maybe we can meet up after school? Please, Santana, I really, really care about her. I just want to know why she's like that and why she can't … " I trailed off.
"You really like her, aren't you?"
"More. I think – I think I'm starting to fall in love with her." I said, tearing my eyes from her when she started to just stare at me.
"Wow," she muttered then sighed. "Fine, meet me at the Lima Bean after school."
"Really?," I smiled at her. "Okay, yeah, of course. Cool. I mean thanks!" I added quickly when she glared at me. Damn, she can be scary sometimes. I wonder why she and Rachel are friends. Oh yeah, they're very hot.
"I'm only doing this because I love that girl and you're right. There's something going on with her but I can't tell you everything. I may look like a back stabbing bitch most of the time but I can't do something knowing that my friend will get mad about it." she cocked her head to the side.
"I understand." I nodded. "Thank you, Santana. I really appreciate it."
"You can thank me later after I give you a head in the restroom." She smirked.
I blinked a few times, shocked from what she just said.
"I'm kidding, Finn." She rolled her eyes. "Well, not really. Anyway, catch you later. I gotta get myself a hot guy like you so I can get some before we meet up later." With that, she turns and strides the hallways as she sway her hips and made everyone turned their heads just so they can look at her sexy body.
The whole day came just like that and I found myself already on my way to meet Santana at the Lima Bean. Maybe because of the anticipation and the fact that I'm doing this just to prove to Rachel that I can understand her highs and lows and whatever it is that making her not to be with me. I know she wants too. I always see it in her eyes whenever we're together. I'm just really not sure what I'm doing wrong or what I still lack of.
I eventually arrived at my destination, almost breaking all of the rules of traffic including the speed limit and beating the red light. Anyway, as long as I wasn't pulled over by a police officer and late for my meet up with Santana, I'm fine with just being a bad boy once in a while. Yeah, I feel like in those kinds of bad boy movies right now.
I entered the coffee shop and immediately spotted Santana on the far east side of the shop. But she's not alone. She's with Rachel's brother, Blaine. I don't even know that they are close. I came towards them and sat across the two.
"Hey, Finn!" Blaine said too excitedly. Santana just rolled her eyes and look down at her coffee.
"Hi, Blaine." I said slowly. "I didn't know you'd be here."
"Oh yeah. Sorry about that. Santana told me about this earlier and I insisted on coming. I have lots of stuff to say about Rachel and I think it will help you understand her more especially when – " Santana jabbed Blaine's side that made him stop from blabbering.
"So," Santana finally said when Blaine stops talking and just smiled at me. I feel shy about him staring though. I mean, I kind of look like his favorite superhero or something. Whatever it is, I'm just glad that Rachel's brother likes me. "What do you wanna know? I figured you have some list of questions on a paper or something so that you aren't forgetting something to ask to us." Santana crossed her arms after she drank from her coffee cup.
"Well, I don't have a list but I know what I wanna know." I said, getting serious. I need to do this right.
"Okay, fine. I'm only going to answer the questions that I want to answer. I'm just going to say no if you ask me some things that you ask Rachel and not us." Santana said.
"Well, if you don't want to answer them, I will." Blaine said.
"I am seriously starting to regret why I brought you in here dwarf boy. Don't make me spilled this scalding coffee to your cemented hair." She bit out to Blaine.
Blaine just shut up once again and looked down on his coffee. I gave him a smile of sympathy before turning back to Santana.
"Okay, deal." I said finally.
"Okay then, what do you wanna know?" she put her arms on the table and clasped her hands as she leans back to her chair.
"Um, do you guys like me?" I asked them, getting a bit embarrassed about it. I need to know if they think of me as a good guy for Rachel, you know.
Santana just rolled her eyes while Blaine just grinned.
"Of course. You're like the coolest guy I've ever met and totally deserve Rachel." Blaine exclaimed.
I smiled at Blaine, thanking him for that. I then turn to Santana as I waited for her answer.
"I agree with gel boy, you're seemed like a nice guy and I might say I'm a bit surprise why Rachel chooses a guy like you this time."
"So you mean, she used to date guys that are actually not like me?"
"She never dated anyone aside from her stupid asshole ex. She just wants to have fun with someone and that's that. She never committed to anyone after her first relationship."
"Yeah," Blaine agreed. "I used to see her with guys who are either a cokehead or look like a terrorist. But I'm glad that she chose someone like you this time."
That got me thinking. Is the reason why she won't commit to anyone was the ex-boyfriend she had? But come to think of it, she never actually said that she hated the guy that much. But then why she started not to date after her ex? I'm starting to be a bit confused about all of it.
"So the reason why she don't want to date anyone anymore was her ex-boyfriend?" I asked them.
"Nope." Santana shook her head. "The guy wasn't really that hot or nice or cool to have as boyfriend so it's not because of him."
"Then what is it?" I pushed further. I'm getting something here now.
"No," she said. "Can't tell you."
"What? Why not?"
"Like I said earlier, not my story to tell." I turned to Blaine hoping he would tell me but Santana glared at him so he just shrugs and gave me a sympathetic smile.
I sighed. "Can you just answer this one?" I asked. She just raises her eyebrow at me.
"Is there anything that I can do to make her change her mind about dating? I know I'm not actually the boyfriend type or even deserving to be with her but I know, I just know that I can do whatever it takes just to make her happy again."
"Don't throw yourself a pity party, Finn. It doesn't look good on a freakishly tall guy like you. You and Rachel look good together and yeah I'll admit that it made me question her about you at first but you're good for her, I can tell."
She sips from her cup then speaks again. "Look, I know Rachel. We've been friends since she transferred at my school when we were in 4th grade. I watched her turned into what she is right now so I know why she's the way she is today. I can't tell you everything about her but I can tell you this." she leans forward. "Rachel is just like every teen girl that you've met. She's not always like that. She looks like selfish and a bitch like me but we're very different from each other."
She stood up, grabbing her bag and gesturing to Blaine to follow her. "We gotta go. I told Rachel that we'll meet later after school. Oh, and about that dating part, don't worry about it. She'll come to her senses someday. She just needs a little more push. You'll figure it out on your own, Finn." And with that, she turns and walks away. Blaine followed after giving me a wave goodbye.
I stayed in my seat for a little while, thinking about everything that I found out. Okay, it's not really much but at least, I've got something out of them.
My phone buzzed from my pocket and when I checked who sent me a message, it was Rachel. A sign that she's not mad at me anymore.
Can we meet later? I miss you ;)
Yeah ok. I miss you too :)
I put my phone on my pocket and stood up to leave the coffee shop with a smile on my face. Maybe I don't to know anymore about her right now. Maybe I just need to take whatever she gives me right now. Yeah, I know it's going to sting a lot since I'm starting to be madly in love with her but hey, I'm kind of desperate. Not for a girlfriend, but for her and only her. Maybe sooner or later she will fall in love with me too. I just need to wait. Too many maybes, Finn. Are you sure you're up for it?
I climbed inside my car and drove my way thinking about Rachel once again. I'm excited to see her. It feels like I haven't seen her in a week now and all I want to do is take her in my arms and crash my lips on hers. Yeah, I will definitely do that later. But first, I need to watch those videos that involve pleasuring a woman. I may be even jerk off later after it because I know I'm going to think about her when I'm watching. God, I feel like a bad person right now, but whatever. As long as I'm making sure that I'm making her happy then I can be a bad guy whenever I want.
A/N: So how was it? Please leave a review. Thanks! :)
Next Chapter: I don't know when I will post it. "But then I say that I can't do it no more ..." going to be exciting guys :) Marley and Quinn will be back on the next chapters. There will be new members of glee club. and drama, lots of drama.
Thanks for reading.
Reviews and PMs are welcome :D