Total Drama: Revenge of the Film Set

Episode 3: Close Encounters of the Dramatic Kind

The Screaming Gaffers 2.0: Courtney, Dave, Duncan, Gwen, Heather, Jasmine, Sky

The Killer Grips 2.0: Max, Mike, Owen, Sugar, Zoey

Previously Eliminated: Shawn, Scott

The twelve remaining contestants were gathered in the craft services tent. Everyone's bowl was full of rocks. Owen and Sugar didn't seem to mind, as they were gulping down rock after rock.

Chris entered the tent with a grin on his face. "Alright, castmates. I hope ya'll enjoyed your fruit-free, cereal-free Fruity Pebbles, because it's time to torment you!"

"Rocks? For breakfast?" Courtney said. "Are you kidding me?"

"Um, they're pebbles," Chris said. "Regardless, if you want to starve to death-" He rubbed his hands deviously together. "-then that's fine by me; don't eat your low-cal food-free pebbles."

Max shoved his pebbles into his pockets, chuckling to himself. "These could assist me with my eeeeviiiil plans," he said to himself.

Courtney growled as she threw her bowl of pebbles at Gwen's face, then she stormed out of the tent. "Let's just get this over with."

"Oh, by the way," Chris said, taking a piece of paper out of his pocket. "Max, your doctor wanted me to give you this."

Max took the paper and examined it angrily. "What? I've been diagnosed with Autism?" He crumbled up the paper, balling his fists. "Eeeeeviiil doesn't have Autism!" He shook his fist in the air. "Revenge upon my general health care provider. Revenge!"

Neeeeewwww. CRASH! The tent shook violently until it collapsed, trapping the contestants inside. Flames engulfed the tent, while green, glowing liquids spilled into the ground.

"Uh-oh, looks like a UFO just crashed on site!" Chris shouted through a megaphone. "It's an alien invasion, folks. If you want to live, you'd better high-tail it to the government fallout shelter. A.K.A, Studio 11C."

Duncan slid out from under the tent and lit his lighter, tossing it onto the tent to add more to the flames. Then he ran off, laughing menacingly.

Duncan's Confessional:

"Last season, everyone thought I went soft." He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, that was on purpose. Now that nobody thinks I'm a threat, I can dominate the game before anyone suspects a thing." He pointed his thumb at himself proudly. "Because that's me, baby. The true evil of this game. The one and only bad boy."

Courtney woke up in a hospital bed, covered in bandages. And she was bald.

"And she's awake!" Chris said.

Courtney rubbed her head. "What... h-h-happened?"

"A UFO full of radioactive waste crash-landed right on top of you," Chris said.

Courtney's' eyes bulged out in fear. "WHAT?"

The small, green, flying aliens from Total Drama World Tour flew around the film set, chasing after the contestants. Except this time, the aliens had ray guns in their hands.

Luckily, Zoey was able to crawl out from under the tent. There was a long wire hanging from a tall pole next to the fallen tent, so Zoey grabbed one of the ropes attached to the tent and placed it in her mouth. She than scaled the pole effortlessly, and, holding onto the wire, swung across the air, pulling the tent along with her. Using her super amazing gymnastics skills, Zoey was even able to do several backflips in the air before landing on her feet. She had effectively pulled the tent away from the other contestants, setting them free. And, for good measure, she even managed to find a fire extinguisher, allowing her to put out the flames with ease.

"Wow, Zoey, you saved us!" Owen said.

"Yaaay! Go Zoey!" Jasmine, Dave, Sky, Gwen and Owen cheered.

"Wow, that was so amazing," Gwen said. "Zoey, you are so beautiful and perfect and talented and athletic and just... amazing in every way!"

Zoey blushed.

"Yeah, you are flawless," Owen said. "We love you, Zoey!" He ran up to her and gave her a big hug, then let her go so Mike could pull her into his arms and give her a kiss.

"Wow, you're a better gymnast than me," Sky said.

"Oh, you're not allowed to talk," Dave said. "And you won't be able to talk when the aliens get to you!" He waved his hands in the air and shouted. "Yoo-hoo! Aliens, come and get it!" An alien flew by and zapped Dave with a ray gun. Burned to a dark gray crisp, Dave coughed up smoke before falling on his face.

"Zoey, Zoey Zoey!" Mike said, pointing toward the collection of studios.

"Right, let's go," Jasmine said, as everyone except the unconscious Dave ran off.

"Wait, where's Max?" Owen said.

"Who cares where Max is? It's just you and me, Owen," Sugar said.

Sugar's Confessional:

"If I'm gonna win this season, I realized that I need to get into an alliance with Owen. He's the only one who can relate to me-" She ripped a loud fart, then continued. "-and once I've made it far enough, then I'll ditch him."

Meanwhile, Max was walking around on top of his brain. He was inside his own mind. "Alright, where are you, Autism?" he said to himself. "I know you're in here somewhere. Show yourself!"

In the middle of Max's brain, a podium stuck out between his frontal lobes. A sign on the podium read:

AUTISM B GONE

Max rubbed his hands together. "Excellent!" The podium housed a shiny, red button. "Huh? That's it?" Max scratched his chin. He leaned over, searching the podium, but there was nothing else on it. Just a sign and a big button. He shrugged. "Oh well. Be gone with you, Autism!" He slammed his hands down on the button.

"Congratulations," an automated voice said from the podium. "You no longer have Autism."

Max raised an eyebrow. "Wow, I seriously thought curing my mental illness would be much harder..."

"How's it going, castmates?" Chris said, watching as aliens chased after the contestants, firing their ray guns at them. Chris sighed with pleasure. "Ahhh, I sure love this reality show. Yep, definitely the best reality show there is."

Owen bent over to catch his breath, causing an alien that was chasing him to fly right into Owen's butt. "Whoops, here comes a fart," Owen said before sending the alien flying out of his butt with a huge fart. But then another alien flew up to Owen and hit him with the ray gun, reducing Owen to a pile of ashes.

Chris gasped. "Oh my gosh... did... did Owen just die?" He clapped his hands together, the happiest grin spreading across his cheeks.

Owen walked up to him, looking good as new. He didn't even have a scratch. "Nope, I'm cool," Owen said.

Chris cocked his brow. "How... how did you do that?"

Gwen walked from studio to studio, trying to find 11C. "Come on, come on, where are you?" Then she bumped into Duncan. "Oh, Duncan..." She sighed and rubbed the back of her head. "Hey, man, look, I realized that Courtney is too much of a backstabbing jerkface. I shouldn't have dumped you to try and be her friend."

"Oh, so you wanna make out?" Before she could answer, Duncan kissed her on the lips.

Gwen blushed. "Wow. I've been waiting for that kiss." She grinned. "In fact, did you know that last season I was faking?"

Duncan let go of her and crossed his arms. "Oh, really?"

"No, seriously," Gwen said. "Throughout all of All Stars I was pretending to care about Courtney's friendship." She threw her head back and cackled. "It was all part of my plan to eliminate her. I only broke up with you to put up the facade."

"Oh come on, you two were inseparable in All Stars," Duncan said.

"I'm not the nice girl you think I am," Gwen said. "Throughout all of Total Drama I've only been pretending to be nice, so if I made it to the finale, nobody would be the wiser. I'd get a ton of people on my side, without any of them knowing how dark I am on the inside." She grabbed Duncan's shoulders. "Now give me a kiss, bad boy." She pulled him toward her and kissed him hard on the lips.

Sky threw her hands in the air. She had found studio 11C. "Yes! For the win, here comes Sky." She opened the door, and Dave was there. He was inside the dark studio, a grin plastered on his face. An ax raised above his head.

"Ohhh Skyyyyy," he said. "Are you ready to see what happens when you reject nice guys like me?"

Sky screamed and kicked him in the balls so hard that he was sent flying into the ceiling, getting caught in a ceiling fan. The fan spun him around and around until he was sent flying out of a window, crashing right into something big. And green.

Towering fifty feet above him, a green-skinned, bald Courtney with torn up clothes stared down at him. She had two extra eyes on her forehead. Her teeth were razor-sharp, and large spikes protruded from her bald head and ran all the way down her spine, which extended all the way out to form a long, spiked tail. She picked up Dave with her giant, clawed hands and roared like a monster. "Courtney want Gwen and Duncan," Courtney said. "You take Courtney to Gwen and Duncan now!"

Chris' Confessional:

Chris grabbed his stomach, already in tears from laughing too hard. He wiped a tear away, trying to not laugh as he spoke. "Oh man... haha... I knew Courtney would be affected by the toxic waste. But I didn't know that would happen!"

Courtney's footsteps rattled the film lot. "I'm telling you, I don't know where they are," Dave said. "But, could you maybe stomp on Sky for me? Repeatedly?"

Courtney growled at him. "You no help the Courtney find Gwen and Duncan. Courtney ging bye-bye to you now." She tossed him over her shoulder, then continued her search, until she found Heather rolling across the street in her wheelchair.

Courtney pointed at Heather. "Courtney hate the Heather. The Heather stole Alejandro from Courtney. Courtney smash! Courtney smash!"

Heather gave a muffled scream through her bandaged-up face, putting her wheelchair in reverse.

Chris jumped behind Heather and pushed the wheelchair closer to Courtney. "Go on, Courtney. Kill the Heather! Kill her."

Heather looked terrified. She screamed and screamed through the bandages, but Chris only laughed at her.

"If anyone should be the first contestant to die on this show, it's you," Chris said. "The most hated girl on Total Drama. The contestants hate you. The Total Drama production team hates you. And the fans hate you."

Courtney picked up the wheelchair-bound Heather in her hand, grinning deviously.

"How does it feel, Heather?" Chris said. "That you made it to the final three twice, and you made it to the final two after you 'changed for the better'?" Once again he scoffed at the words. "Yep, in World Tour you gained a huge fanbase, and yet after all the crud you've been through, after all the 'changing for the better', you still never won! You know, FOR COMEDY!" He chuckled to himself. "And I'm glad, because the entire production team hates your fans, Heather! And even if you did win, you'd never get the million dollars because Ezekiel would've thrown it in the volcano anyway!"

Courtney laughed maniacally as she tossed Heather in her mouth.

"Die! Die! Die!" Chris chanted before pointing at the camera. "How do you like that Heather fans? We, the Total Drama production team, don't give a crap about you!"

Tears rolled down Heather's cheeks before Courtney clamped her jaw shut, swallowing Heather whole. Then she burped out Heather's wheelchair. "Yum yum yum. That was good appetizer," Courtney said. "Courtney now ready to eat Duncan and Gwen."

Just then, a slew of helicopters swarmed around Courtney's head. She swatted at them like flies, roaring like Godzilla. The helicopters continued to circle around her, draping a giant net over her body. Courtney flailed her arms around, struggling to free herself, but it was no use. The net held her securely, allowing the helicopters to lift her away.

"Heeeey, what are you doing?" Chris said. "The Total Drama fans love seeing mutated contestants. Give her back."

Through an intercom, someone in one of the helicopters said, "Sorry, MacLean, but this creature is an alien-human hybrid. She is now property of the Canadian Government and will be placed under the jurisdiction of the United Nations."

The helicopters flew away just as quickly as they came, leaving Chris to kick a rock in anger.

Meanwhile, using their amazing gymnastic abilities, Zoey and Mike leaped from building to building, almost as if they were super-humans. Before an alien could hit Mike with a ray-gun, Zoey tackled the alien from behind and knocked it out with a sleeper hold. Mike then leapt over Zoey, did several backflips, and kicked an alien in the face before it could blast Zoey.

The two high-fived each other and shared a kiss. "Zoey Zoey Zoey Zoey Zoey, Zoey," Mike said.

Zoey pecked him on the cheek. "Mike Mike!" She looked around and pointed at Owen, who was leaned over a tree, trying to catch his breath. She waved at Mike to follow. "Mike Mike, Mike."

Using his amazing super-human strenght, Mike lifted Owen over his head. "Zoey Zoey, Zoey," Mike said. "Zoey Zoey Zoey!"

Owen sighed with relief. "Oh man, I love you guys. You two are just so... awesome."

Mike and Zoey raced toward Sugar. Mike picked her up with his other hand. He actually had the amazing ability to hold Owen high above his head with one hand, and Sugar with the other hand.

Zoey clapped her hands. "Mike MIke!"

Mike ran to studio 11C, and chasing after him was Zoey, carrying Max over her head.

"Put me down, woman," Max demanded.

Zoey tossed Max to Mike, who caught him and brought him inside Studio 11C. Then Zoey did several cartwheels until she crossed the studio's doors.

"And The Grips win it!" Chris announced.

Owen hugged Zoey and Mike. "Man, you two are the greatest!"

"Yeah, go Zoey and MIke!" Sugar cheered.

"This isn't fair!" Sky stamped her foot. "Mike and Zoey should be on my team."

Zoey shrugged. "Mike Mike."

Duncan, Gwen, Dave, Jasmine and Sky were gathered in front of Chris at the Gilded Chris Ceremony.

"Well well well, your first night here," Chris said, shaking his head. "Unfortunately, there's no need to cast any votes. Courtney ate Heather, and then Courtney got taken away by the government."

Jasmine leaned forward with a concerned look on her face. "Whoa whoa whoa, how does that happen?"

"Courtney got infected with some extraterrestrial toxic waste," Chris said. "Remember Dakotazoid from Revenge of the Island? Well, now we have a Courtneyzoid." Chris gave two thumbs up to the camera and winked. "Isn't that hilarious, kids?"

Dave got down on his knees and cried. "Why? Why couldn't Courtney eat Sky?"

"So, anyway," Chris continued. "Even though two contestants have technically been eliminated before the challenge was even finished, I decided to make this a reward challenge, because I don't want Mike and Zoey's incredible efforts to go to waste. The Grips are currently being taken to a five-star restaurant for dinner, while the rest of you are left to eat whatever disgusting garbage Chef serves up tonight."

"Well, at least Courtney and Heather are gone," Gwen said with a grin.

"I know, right? It's like two free punk rock concerts on the same night," Duncan said. "It just doesn't get any better than that."

"Guys, somebody died," Jasmine said flatly.

Chris pointed at the camera once again. "And that concludes another episode of the best season of Total Drama so far. Yep, even though we're only clocking in at eleven minutes per episode, we're pulling out all the stops! So stay tuned next time for more Total Drama: Revenge of the Film Set!"