Total Drama: Revenge of the Film Set

Episode 4: Run Freaks, Run!

The Screaming Gaffers 2.0: Dave, Duncan, Gwen, Jasmine, Sky

The Killer Grips 2.0: Max, Mike, Owen, Sugar, Zoey

Previously Eliminated: Shawn, Scott, Heather, Courtney

Only a tiny streak of orange touched the dark sky before Chris stood in front of the trailers with a mischievous smile. Large earplugs covered his ears as he pressed an air horn against a megaphone and blasted the screeching, deafening horn. The sonic blast stripped leaves off of trees and rocked the trailers.

In the boys' trailer, Duncan jumped up so quickly that he banged his head on the ceiling and then slipped off the top bunk.

Chris screamed into the megaphone. "Rise and shine, contestants. Your next challenge begiiiiiinnnnsss... NOW."

"It's four-thirty in the morning," Jasmine said as she sluggishly exited the girls' trailer.

"What?" Gwen said, rubbing her ears. "Ow, I think my ears are bleeding."

"Evil needs rest," Max said to no one in particular. "When the time comes, I shall exact my revenge upon Chris MacLean."

"Drama never sleeps, so neither should you," Chris said. "Now, to add even more drama, we're going to do a little switch-a-roo. Mike and Sugar, you are now on the Gaffers' team. And Duncan and Jasmine are on the Grips."

The Screaming Gaffers 2.0: Dave, Gwen, Mike, Sky, Sugar

The Killer Grips 2.0: Duncan, Jasmine, Max, Owen, Zoey

Zoey and Mike gasped in shock.

Zoey's Confessional:

Zoey was bawling her eyes out as she cried out, "MIIIIIIIKE!" She buried her face in her hands and cried even harder, harder than she'd ever cried before.

Mike's Confessional:

Mike was hugging his knees, tears sprinkling out of his eyes as he cried, "ZOOOOEEEEEEY!"

"Today's challenges will be based on sports movies," Chris said.

Duncan rolled his eyes. "Pft, we already did this in TDA."

Ignoring Duncan, Chris continued. "So, your first challenge is to do a twenty kilometer run around the film set. Your path will be marked by checkpoints that you're required to stay on. If you try to take any detours, you'll be disqualified from the challenge."

"Can we eat beforehand?" Sky asked. "I don't want to exert myself without the proper-"

"If you want to eat, you'll have to complete the challenge," Chris interrupted."At the finish line you'll find a large pile of Chef's very own homemade protein bars. But, although they all look like protein bars, only one of them is an actual protein bar. Which means, you'll have to do some taste-testing, and it won't be tasty. First person to find the real protein bar wins for their team."

"Can we at least get water?" Jasmine asked.

"Yeah, this is a challenge," Chris said. "What kind of challenge would this be if you weren't at risk of dropping dead from dehydration? Now no more questions. On your marks, get set..." He held up his air horn and let out a loud HOOONNNKK. "Go!"

The contestants darted toward the pathway, with Sugar, Owen, and a tired Gwen, lagging behind.

"Hey, Max," Duncan said, slowing down his pace so Max could catch up. "Now that we're on the same team, I say we form an alliance. I'm evil, you're evil, it'll be the perfect alliance, right?"

"Fool! Compared to me, you don't even come close to evil," Max said. "However, if you wish to be my henchman, then you'll have to fill out an application." He handed a clipboard and a pen to Duncan. "But be forewarned, I'm quite picky, and I've already received several applications. Also, be sure to dress nice for the interview."

Duncan's Confessional:

Duncan stared at the clipboard like it was the stupidest thing he'd ever seen. "Wow, just, wow." He threw the clipboard over his shoulder and kicked his feet up on the dresser, placing his hands behind his head. "For the record, there's no way that little pipsqueak is evil. I mean, just look at him! But, whatev, as long as the little twerp trusts me, he'll be easy to eliminate."

Chris, watching from a chair on top of a building, was munching on popcorn. "It's now been half an hour, and some of the strongest competitors are losing their stride."

Jasmine, who went from a run, to a jog, to falling down on her knees, gave a loud gasp with a raspy-sounding throat.

Zoey, who wasn't too far ahead, stopped and ran up to her. "Mike? Mike Mike Mike?"

"I've been running a marathan on an empty stomach and I haven't had a drop of water to drink," Jasmine said. "Look, I'm so dehydrated I can't even spit." She puckered up her lips and attempted to spit, but only powder escaped her lips.

Zoey picked Jasmine up on her shoulders, carrying her with ease. She was even able to run extremely fast; she was so strong and incredible, it was like she wasn't even carrying Jasmine.

"Thanks, Zoey," Jasmine said.

Zoey's eye twitched as she nodded her head. "Mike Miiiike." A wide, creepy smile spread across her face as her eye twitched once more. "Mike Mike... Miiiiike..." She started chuckling as her pupils grew further apart. She was now wall-eyed, laughing to herself like a psycho as she repeated Mike's name again.

"Um, are you okay, Zoey?" Jasmine asked.

Zoey's eye twitched again as she laughed. The only response she gave was Mike's name. Again and again. Mike's name, and louder, more frenetic laughter.

Owen was crawling on his hands and knees, sweat pouring out of his every pour. He was actually leaving behind a trail of sweat, creating large puddles of his own bodily fluids. "Can't... go... on..."

Sugar was sweating just as much as he was; her makeup was running all the way down to her chest and her clothes were drenched, as if she had fallen into a lake. But it was just sweat. Gripping her knees to catch her breath, she said, "I'm really beginning to hate Chris. Why can't we just have a pageant contest or something?"

"Well, at least we're still friends, right?" Owen asked.

"You know what I have to say to that?" She walked over to him, bent over, and farted in his face. "See ya later, ex-teammate."

Zoey slid past the finish light, letting Jasmine off her shoulder. Not too far behind, Duncan ran up to them, bumping into Jasmine.

"Oops, sorry," Jasmine said.

Duncan picked her up, and she blushed. "I'm never sorry to bump into you, because I, for one, enjoy hot chocolate." He winked at her.

Jasmine's face was as red as a strawberry. She giggled and gave him a hand-wave. "Oh, stop it, you..."

Duncan squeezed her shoulders and kissed her on the lips.

Jasmine's Confessional:

"What am I doing? I'm cheating on Shawn! I mean, sure, he broke up with me, but that was just a spur of the moment. I'm sure he didn't mean it. Just you see, me and Shawn will get back together once the game is over. So-" She sighed and rested her head on her shoulders. "-what am I doing messing around with Duncan?"

Duncan went up to the pile of wrapped protein bars and picked one up. He slowly pulled it out of the rapper, then covered his mouth and gagged. "Ew, these stink..." He clamped his eyes shut and put it in his mouth, immediately spitting it out. "Ugh, what is this crap?"

Chris walked up to Duncan, giving him a smug smirk. "Oh, what a fitting word... I would say these are quite crappy indeed!"

Duncan's eyes widened. "Wait... you don't mean..."

"Chef was up all night making these 'protein bars'..." He winked at Duncan. "And he didn't even need to use an oven."

Duncan's Confessional:

Duncan was violently scrubbing at his teeth with two toothbrushes, and then he chugged down a bottle of mouthwash, spat it out, and then poured more mouthwash, but it was no use, vomit started spilling out of his nostrils, and then he leaned forward and let vomit explode out of his mouth and nose. "Oh, mother of mercy!" He tried to cover his mouth, but another explosion of vomit blasted out of him, and this time his projectile vomit spewed right at the camera.

Chris' Confessional:

Chris' face was beet red, and he was laughing so hard that tears were pouring down his face. He leaned over, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. "I always knew it was true, and now nobody can deny it: The Total Drama contestants eat sh**!"

Sugar couldn't even crawl on her knees anymore. She collapsed on the street, letting her tongue fall out of her mouth to taste the asphalt. "I can't take it. There's gotta be a way to just, I dunno, instantly make myself more fit. Like, like a reset button or something..."

Gwen finally made it to the finish line, painting and heaving before dropping to her knees. She sniffed at the air, then covered her nose and mouth. "Ewww, what is that?"

Sky, Zoey, Mike, Jasmine and Duncan were crowded around the pile of so-called protein bars. Duncan's face was green as his cheeks puffed up, unable to handle much more. But still, for the million dollars, he unwrapped another one, which stank just as bad as the last one.

Sky held her breath and unwrapped another one. Its strong scent billowed through the air, inviting a flies to swarm around the contestants. "Yep, another turd in a granola bar wrapper," Sky said, tossing it over her shoulder.

"A what wrapped in a what?" Gwen said as a disturbed look spilled across her face.

"I'm going to kill Chris after this," Jasmine said as she split open another wrapper. She could still see bits of corn in the resulting turd. "UGH!" She threw it and reached into the pile again.

Zoey sighed as she reached for another wrapper. Mike raised an eyebrow, noticing that her hair was messed up and her eyes were bloodshot. "Zoey? Zoey Zoey?" Mike asked.

Zoey sighed. "Mike Mike Mike Mike, Mike. Mike Mike..." She sighed again. "Mike Mike Mike."

Duncan's Confessional:

Duncan's arms were folded as he stared at the camera with an unimpressed look on his face. "Pft, seriously? Oh boo-hoo, Mike and Zoey are on different teams now. I got moved away from Gwen's team and you don't see me complaining."

Jasmine walked into the trailer and then immediately turned away whens he saw Duncan. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were in here."

Duncan got out of his seat and pulled Jasmine into his arms. "You and me alone in a trailer? What's there to complain about?"

Jasmine swooned before the two locked lips, kissing passionately while Duncan smacked Jasmine's butt.

Sugar was inside her own mind, walking on top of her brain. Her voice echoed in the massive, empty cavern of her inner cranium. "Oh, look, what's this?" she said, running toward a shiny, red button on the wall...

Meanwhile, Dave was waiting atop a building, watching the pathway below. "Come on, Sky. Come, my pretty..." In the distance he could see Sky, jogging across the path. "That's it, atta girl..."

Sky stepped on a tripwire as she ran past, releasing a massive, sharpened log on a rope. The rope swung toward her, the sharpened end pointed right at her. However, Sky was too fast; she just kept on running, not even noticing the log that swung right past her. Swinging higher and higher, the rope snapped, causing the log to fly right toward Dave.

"No, no, no, nooo-" The log smashed into him, knocking him off the roof. He rolled down as the log rolled over him, flattening him, and then he slid into a randomly-placed shark tank.

Screaming and splashing around in the water, Dave surfaced and reached for the edge of the tank, but it was too late. Five sharked swarmed around Dave, pulling him back into the water as she thrashed and struggled. The lower half of his body was already inside a shark's mouth, but Dave still managed to reach for the edge of the tank and pull his face out of the water one more time. "Why? WHYYY? All I want is to kill Sky! Is that too much to ask?" Then the shark pulled Dave back underwater.

Sugar raced toward the finish line, and threw her muscular arms in the air to cheer. "Woo-hoo! Alright, I did it."

Gwen looked even more disturbed as she stared at Sugar. "What the..."

Sugar had magically turned tall and skinny, with well-toned muscles rippling across her body. She was even wearing athletic shorts, sneakers, a tank top, and a sweatband. Except she probably didn't even need the sweatband; she looked like she could run fifty kilometers and not break a sweat.

"Take a look at me, ya'll," Sugar said, flexing her arm muscles. "I'm a regular athlete now. In fact, I look stronger and more fit that any of ya'll. And all I had to do was press a shiny, red button in my head. Can you believe it?"

Duncan rubbed his head. "I think the fumes from Chef's turd bars are making me hallucinate."

Zoey sighed as she picked up another wrapper. Unwrapping it, the contents inside didn't smell horrible. She sniffed at it, and smiled. "Mmmm..." In fact, it wasn't even the same dark brown as the others. Zoey was holding a golden bar of toasted grains and seeds. "Mike Mike!" Zoey cheered as she raised the protein bar over her head.

"And Zoey wins it for the Grips," Chris announced. "Congratulations."

"Alright, Zoey!" Jasmine cheered.

Sky grunted as she stormed off. "Ugh! I can't believe I touched Chef's poop for nothing."

At the Gilded Chris ceremony, Gwen, Sky, Mike and Sugar cast their votes on the electronic voting devices.

Chris had three Gilded Chris awards waiting on the podium. "Before we begin I just want to mention that you guys are already down a member. Dave got eaten by sharks, and I'm pretty sure that's the end of him." He grinned sadistically. "Man, two deaths in a row! I can feel the ratings already."

"Wait, if Dave's dead, then why do we need to cast a vote?" Sky said.

"Well," Chris began. "The Total Drama fans looooove non-elimination episodes, and if we're down to only eight contestants tomorrow, there will be plenty of room for the coveted non-elimination episodes. Plus, having two double eliminations in a row must be good for ratings. So, Sky and Mike, you're safe." He tossed them their Gilded Chris awards, then held up the final one.

Sugar gave Gwen a cocky smirk. Gwen rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I don't even care if I'm going home tonight," Gwen said. "I've been on this show waaay too long."

"Well, you're gonna have to stay longer, because you're safe." Chris threw a Gilded Chris at Gwen. "Sugar, time to go."

Sugar jumped out of her seat. "What? Are you kidding me? Thanks to that red button I'm the strongest player, now."

Chef grabbed Sugar and dragged her away.

At the edge of the cliff, Owen's butt awaited.

"This is so unfair," Sugar said. "I pushed that button for no reason? Come on, I can't go home. I just can't."

"Sorry, Sugar," Owen said. "At least we can still be friends when this is all over, right?"

Sugar clenched her fists together. "Oh, shut up, Owen!"

Chef jammed Sugar into Owen's butt crack, then smacked Owen's butt. "Ready, aim, fire!" Chef said.

Owen turned around, pointing his butt over the cliff, and let it rip. Sugar was blasted far off into the night sky in a trail of green fart smoke.

"And there you have it. Another day, another fart," Chris said, facing the camera. "What's going to happen next time? Only one way to find out: Keep watching as we unveil even more total drama right here on Revenge of the Film Set."