Chapter Four
When Lily opened her eyes, it was to find herself sprawled out on a bed she'd never been in before with Alice sitting across from her on another bed. The red draping assured her she was in the Gryffindor tower and from the pile of messy clothing surrounding three out of the four beds, she could only assume she was in the Marauder's room.
"What time is it?" Lily slurred, pushing herself up on her arms.
"A little before dinner. You've only been out for about three hours," Alice told her.
"Mmm. Whose bed is this?" Lily asked, but immediately after the words left her mouth, she recognized the smell clinging to the pillow.
"James'," they said at the same time.
"They're downstairs playing Exploding Snap with Peter. I'm surprised at how civil they're being about the whole thing. I expected a little bit of fighting after they brought you out of that classroom, but they all just acted as though they'd been doing this for years," Alice said.
"Hmm," Lily hummed, burrowing back into the pillow.
"It was weird, Lily. It was like… they all knew what the other was thinking. Remus is the one who carried you up here, so you would think he'd put you in his bed, but he went right over to James' bed and Sirius pulled down the covers. It was like there wasn't even a consideration of putting you somewhere else," Alice persisted.
Lily looked over at her best friend and frowned at the look she found on her face.
"What are you saying, Alice?"
"I think this is going to work. I was… doubtful when Sirius first suggested it, but… I think the four of you might just be perfect for each other," Alice said, her voice barely more than a whisper.
Lily wasn't sure what to make of that, but she knew one thing. Her friend was worried.
"Ali. You know you're my best friend and that you'll always be my best friend. Just because… just because this curse makes me need them, it doesn't mean I don't still need you," Lily told her.
"I love you, too, Lils," Alice said with a watery grin.
The two girls hugged and, for the first time since before the attack, it didn't feel awkward at all. Realizing that Alice was right, that being with her three guys was going to be good for them all, Lily finally allowed herself to cry.
"That's it, honey. Let it out," Alice soothed, rocking the two of them as Lily mourned the loss of the girl she could have been.
Alice held her the entire time, letting her get it all out before pulling away. Taking her hand, Alice led her into the bathroom. Wetting a wash cloth with cold water, Alice began gently cleaning her face, getting rid of the tear tracks and puffiness under her eyes.
"There. Now they'll never know," Alice said with a smile.
"Thanks, Ali," Lily said, hugging her one more time.
"Anytime," Alice grinned, shooting her a wink as the two left the boys dormitory.
If Lily had thought seeing the boys this morning would be awkward, it was nowhere close to how she felt seeing them after they'd all three had her one right after the other on the same desk. She was pretty sure her face was going to become as red as her hair if they said anything about what they'd done to her in the classroom. As it was, she could already feel the beginnings of a tell-tale blush staining her cheeks as she and Alice walked into the Common Room from the boys dormitory.
Alice pulled her along towards where the Marauders sat in the good seats in front of the fireplace, a game of Exploding Snap going on in front of them. For one brief moment, Lily stood frozen, forcing Alice to either let go of her hand or stumble with her abrupt stop. The sensation of being rooted to the floor only lasted long enough for James to look up and spot her.
"Come here. We saved you a seat," James said, indicating the spot between himself and Remus.
"Come on," Alice whispered, urging her forward.
Under the insistence of her best friend and one of the three boys she was shagging, Lily found the will to get her feet to move. Alice took a spot across from her, nestled between Peter and Sirius, while Lily sank down in the place reserved for her. Wordlessly, Remus' arm wrapped around her shoulders, but he didn't even glance her way as he continued to play the game. The feeling of his arm against the back of her neck was soothing in a strange way and she found herself relaxing into his side, pulling her feet up to press against James' hip. Across the way, Sirius shot her a wink with his signature smile before turning his attention back to the game.
For the next hour, Lily watched the interaction between the four boys. It was the first time she'd observed them, amazed by the way the seemed to communicate more with their bodies and implications than with actual words, but it was the first time she seemed to be included into the conversation. Every so often, James would reach down and squeeze her feet, a silent reminder than he was there, that she was okay. Remus' arm around her shoulder was a message to all that she was their's and a quiet nod to the others that she needed comfort. Sirius kept up a steady stream of laughter, but he'd give her a slow look after each one, as if making sure she wasn't feeling insulted or left out. Remus held his hand so that she could see and, on occasion, James would shift so that she could see his cards as well. It was a show of trust, one that held deeper meanings than a simple game of cards. They knew she needed them, needed the connection in order to stay sane. By including not only her, but Alice as well in with their group, they were showing her that it was okay to lean on them, to seek them out for support and comfort. Somehow, they had managed to turn a game of cards into an initiation into their family.
"Hey, Alice. Lily. You two coming to dinner?"
Lily looked up from her comfortable spot to see Claire and Susan watching them. Susan was taking in the scene with a suspicious eye, but Claire gave them all a tentative smile as she fiddled with her fingers, waiting for an answer.
"Sure, Claire. Thanks for reminding us," Alice easily answered, springing to her feet.
Disengaging herself from James and Remus, Lily stood to follow. Surprisingly, although she'd spent at least an hour between the two, the embers had remained embers and no fire had raged, turning her into a desperate nymphomaniac. She had a strong suspicion it was because Sirius, Remus, and James had seen to her needs so thoroughly, but until she discussed it with the Mediwitch in charge of her case, she couldn't be sure.
Instead of dwelling on it, she gave each of the boys a smile before following her three friends out of the Common Room.
"Wait a second, Lily," Sirius called, jumping over the back of his seat to get to her.
He held out a pocket sized mirror, much like the kind Muggle girls used to fix their make-up.
"What's this?" Lily asked, taking it and turning it around in her hands.
"It's a four- well, now I guess it's five- way mirror. All you have to do is say one of our names into the glass and we'll be able to communicate," Sirius explained and Lily heard everything he didn't say.
It was to be used in case she needed them again, instead of having Alice shoot off one of her little memos.
"Thanks," Lily said, trying to speak around the sudden stone in her throat.
And, of course, being Sirius Black, who never seemed to take anything seriously, he understood immediately.
"It's for that, too, but I mean it, Evans. This is how we all talk to each other when we're not close by. There's no limit to the distance, so whenever you need us, either for that or just to talk, use it," Sirius insisted.
Unable to speak through the tears clogging her throat, Lily threw her arms around Sirius' neck and kissed him in gratitude. As his arms wrapped around her waist to return the embrace, she felt the embers starting to glow hotter. She was too emotional. If she didn't calm down, she was going to give the whole Common Room a show they'd never forget.
But he felt so good.
Sirius broke their kiss first and it was only then that she realized they'd been snogging in the middle of the Common Room.
"Potion, Lily," Sirius rasped, his fingers biting into her hips.
"Here," Alice said, shoving the bottle between them.
Lily grabbed it with almost desperate hands and downed the thing in no time, relaxing as the potion did its job of cooling down the raging fire.
"We'll see you at dinner," Sirius said, tapping her nose affectionately before returning to his mates.
"Come on, Lily," Alice said, pulling her back towards the portrait hole.
As soon as the Fat Lady swung shut behind them, Susan pounced.
"What was that all about? Since when are you and Black an item?"
"We're not. He's just… helping," Lily said, trying desperately to sound confident.
"Helping? You mean he's shagging you because of that fucked up curse? Really, Lily? I mean, I get that you hate the bloke, but how could you do that to Potter?" Susan asked, wrinkling her nose in distaste.
Lily glanced over at Alice, but the smaller girl just stared back at her, waiting for Lily to decide what her story would be.
If there was one thing Lily knew, it was that if you acted ashamed of yourself, others were going to think you had something to be ashamed of.
But what if the guys didn't want everyone to know that they were all shagging her? She might be willing to face the gossip head on, but would they?
"Merlin… You're shagging James, too, aren't you?" Susan gaped.
Lily could feel the blush creeping over her cheeks and silently cursed her fair skin that gave her away so easily.
"Two blokes, Lily? Are… are you sure that's safe?" Claire asked quietly.
"They won't hurt me, if that's what you're asking."
"They might not hurt you, but what about each other? Blimey, Lily. You don't shag one bloke and then go shag his best mate! Everyone knows that!" Susan hissed venomously.
"It's not like that," Lily said.
"That's exactly what it's like. You better stop this before it gets too far, Lily Evans, because once word gets out that you're shagging two of the Marauders, the whole school is going to turn against you. And Merlin forbid you actually cause James and Sirius to fight each other! Then the whole school will really hate you," Susan insisted.
"But I… They… We aren't-" Lily tried to say, but luckily Alice cut in.
"I think if James and Sirius were going to fight over her, they'd already be doing it. I mean, James just saw Sirius snog the hell out of Lily. If he was going to get jealous, it would have been then," Alice said diplomatically.
"Oh, I'm pretty sure he was jealous. He just didn't act on it then. Watch, the four of them are going to walk into the Great Hall mad as a hippogriff with each other," Susan warned as they entered the Great Hall themselves.
"Come off it, Susan. The Marauders wouldn't let a girl come between them," Alice insisted heatedly.
"But Lily isn't just any girl. She's the love of James Potter's life," Susan persisted.
Was it true? Was this whole set-up really fair to James? Lily didn't seem to have much of a say in the matter, but she could remove James from the situation. She didn't want to hurt him, despite their somewhat rocky past. It wasn't fair to give him hope of a future with her when there was no guarantee that she would ever really be his. If this curse wasn't removed, she would never be a one-man woman.
But James was willing to share her, so maybe he was okay with it. Maybe… But, no. It wasn't right. She shouldn't be doing this. She should have never come back to Hogwarts. It was only causing more trouble.
She was just about to jump up from the table and run back to her room to start packing when the object of her thoughts plopped down beside her.
"Didn't really think we'd leave you alone for too long, did you, Lily?" James asked with a grin.
She looked over to where Susan was eyeing her evilly. Well, that answered that. She'd just lost one of her roommates.
The rest of the Marauders filled in around them, effectively cutting Lily off from the rest of the school as she was placed in the middle of their little group. Sirius sat across from her, Remus beside him, and Peter at the end. James sandwiched her between him and Alice. Claire and Susan sat on the other side of Sirius. It created the perfect bubble as someone would have to move around either James or Alice to speak to her and no one really wanted to go up against either of them to insult Lily.
"Evans, you gotta eat more than that," Sirius said, frowning at her sparse plate.
"I'm not that hungry," Lily mumbled, pushing her food around with her fork.
Sirius gave her a long, hard look, obviously unsatisfied with her answer. Sighing in defeat, Lily piled a bit more of everything on her plate before taking as big a bite as she dared. When he grinned in approval, Lily had to fight the urge to stick out her tongue, food bits and all.
"So, Black. When exactly did you and Lily get so close that you felt comfortable enough to snog her in the middle of the Common Room?" Susan asked, her voice sharp.
Lily glared at her roommate, knowing Susan was trying to get them riled up. She hoped Sirius saw the question for what it was.
"What you talking about Fenwick? Me and Evans have always been close. Right, babe?" Sirius smirked, shooting her wink.
"Oh, yeah. Always," Lily agreed, trying not to laugh.
"Uh-huh. And, what about your best mate?" Susan asked, face flushed in her anger.
"James? Don't really fancy snogging him, Fenwick, but if you'd like to, I'm sure he'd oblige you," Sirius snickered.
"Prat," Susan spat.
"Let it go, Susan," Alice hissed.
"Fine. Whatever. Good luck with your new status as the school slut, Lily," Susan said, shoving away from the table and storming out of the Great Hall.
Lily winced as everyone turned to stare at her, but James' arm tightened around her shoulders, reminding her that she wasn't alone.
"Sorry, Lily," Claire mumbled before following her friend.
"What a bitch. I can't believe she said that to you. I mean, granted, I knew she was a bitch, but still," Alice fumed.
"Well, now that she's gone, we can talk properly," Remus said, leaning across the table.
"About what?" Lily asked, a little worried.
"What you want to tell people. We've all talked about it and figure the best thing to do is to say you're dating Sirius since you've already been seen snogging him. It'll make the fallback easier to deal with," Remus said.
"If that's what you want," Lily agreed, sagging under the idea of having to lie to everyone.
She hated lying, mostly because she was so terrible at it. Her emotions showed right on her face.
"What do you want, Lily?" James asked.
"Honestly? I'd rather just tell everybody the truth. They're going to gossip anyway, no matter what we say. I'd rather put it all out there, let them have their fun, and get it over with. They'll let it go eventually, but I'd rather it be sooner than later," Lily said, leaning on his shoulder tiredly.
She couldn't believe how tired she was. She blamed it on the marathon sex session she'd had early, though it could also be from the lack of passion burning through her. Whatever the reason, all she wanted to do was curl up and go back to sleep.
"Are you sure that's what you want to do? There's no taking it back once we tell everyone," Remus warned.
"I know," Lily whispered.
He stared at her for a long time, searching for any doubt. He wouldn't find any. Lily knew this was the best way to handle it. Most people already knew about her curse. One more piece of information to fuel the gossip mill wouldn't kill her.
Not as long as she had her guys on her side.
"Alright. Wormtail, get the word out," Remus instructed.
Peter flashed her a bright smile before scurrying over to a third year. Lily recognized her, but couldn't call up a name to go with the face. For a minute, she doubted Peter's choice in first person, but second later, the girl had run over to the Ravenclaw table and was passing along the information she'd just learned. In a matter of minutes, the hall was buzzing and more eyes than not were focused on their spot at the Gryffindor table.
"Well, no going back now," Sirius grinned, rubbing his hands together.
He was right, in more way than one. She couldn't go back. The only thing left to do was push forward.