Sorry for the short-ish chapter! I literally just remembered this fic existed at 11:00 last night, so.. Yeah. I wake up at about 8:10 and I would usually upload at seven so.. You can understand the lack of time for writing. Still, it's over a thousand words and on time which is good enough for me!

"What are they doing?" I silently asked myself, watching Grif's squad as they were ordered to do extremely absurd things such as making a hammock or being used as a foot stool. You can probably guess who for. I turned around walking over to Tucker's squad, who seemed to actually be doing useful training.. sorta.

Looking at Simmons' squad, I noticed he had trouble ordering them around, stuttering around all the girls he was in charge of. Carolina was doing good, if not overworking her squad. Then... there was Caboose. I shook my head, watching his squad members have some sort of... whipped cream competition? I turned away, not comprehending it all.

"This place is fucked," I muttered. Three of the five squads were not doing anything useful. I turned my radio back on. "Jessie?" I called, still receiving no answer from my sister. I sighed, knowing someone must be messing with the radio signal. I wasn't entirely positive on who did it, though.

I still didn't know everything about the series, only watching the first ten seasons one time through. The only reason I knew anything about what's going on now is because Jessie told me. Of course, I can't get any more information from her because she isn't around and I can't make any contact with her.

I wished I could go home, back to Earth, my planet. Back in 2014. Where my friends were, where my family was. My brother and Dad were probably safe at home, not needing to be worried about civil wars or anything like that.

-Line-

"Yeah, I don't know where you think this Derik guy is, but he's not here," Zack said after searching another room.

"The ship just recently crashed. He wouldn't know about it being here right now," Allison sighed. "Of course he wouldn't! I didn't plan to send us here at this point in time, so I guess it makes sense."

"You mean to say.. That we spent this entire time looking for someone you knew wouldn't be here!?" Zack shouted right in front of Allison.

"Hey, there was a chance, I was going to take it!" Allison defended.

"Okay, if he's not here, then where else would he be?" Dad asked.

"Why don't we find out?" Allison asked, gesturing for the two guys to follow her. "I found a map of this place, there's some vehicles ahead. We can grab an undamaged pelican and get out of here."

"That works," Dad said, following her. Zack sighed, also following. It took about five minutes until they reached their destination.

"You know how to fly one of those things, right?" Zack asked.

Allison shrugged, "Enough."

Zack rolled his eyes, "That doesn't fill me with confidence."

"Oh, just trust me," Allison got in the pelican, followed by Dad, then Zack.

"Let's go," Zack said, sounding bored, while inside he was thrilled that he was about to ride in an actual pelican!

-Line-

I wanted to go back, to see them. A lot less chaotic in my house than this place. I walked around, arms crossed against my chest. I went to Mom, smiling at the fact that at least someone from my family was here.

"Oh, Kat!" Mom called, coming over to me. "What were you doing?"

"Just watching the Reds and Blues train people. And fail. Mostly fail," I answered, followed by a sigh. I seemed to do that a lot.

"Is it that bad?" Mom asked.

"Carolina and Tucker seem to be doing fine, but Simmons can't even speak to his squad correctly, Grif is ordering them to do things like being his footstool, and Caboose is, well, being Caboose," I explained, the last part pretty much explaining itself without me having to add much detail.

"That doesn't sound too successful," Mom told me, and I nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm sure it will all work out in the end. I mean, when does good lose?" Oh, wow, what am I? A fairy tale?

"Good does lose," Mom sighed, "Then again, the Reds and Blues are in on this. They haven't failed yet, though I honestly don't know weather it's because they're actually good fighters, or just really, really, lucky."

"Probably the lucky one," I guessed. "Just look at Caboose. He kills his own teammates for a living."

"He's also very strong, and can kill enimies in massive numbers if you make him angry," Mom pointed out.

"But what about Church? He couldn't aim if his life depended on it! Then again, he's already died about a hundred times," I told her.

"But what about Epsilon? He's like Church, but he ended up becoming very useful as an AI. The same can go for Church."

"Yeah. When he actually belives he's an AI and not a ghost," I laughed. "But look at Sarge! He's insane!"

"He also makes great speaches and is good with his shotgun when he's within range."

"Tucker-" I couldn't even finish my sentence.

"Is very skilled with his sword-"

"BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!"

I shook my head, "How the hell did he even hear that?" I asked myself.

Mom sighed, "And can lead well when he tries. He can also use a sniper rifle."

"Washington-"

"Is, despite going a little insane due to Epsilon, still very skilled with weapons and can fight better than most, if not all, of the Reds and Blues," Mom smirked under her helmet.

"Simmons is a kiss-ass-"

"That also knows computer stuff and can hack into things. Useful."

I growled a little at Mom's interrupting, but took a deep breath. "Grif is lazy, eats Oreos, and can't fight at all."

"He also.." Mom paused. "Hmm.. He can be funny at times. He also will point out the flaws in Sarge's and other people's plans."

"Donut-"

"Is great with throwing grenades from any distance with very presise aim, making him also very valuable."

"Okay, I'll give it to you, they're not that bad," I laughed.

"See? It's more than just luck," Mom explained. "Also, Donut and Washington are very good at surviving anything and everything. Donut had a ship fall on him and he was shot by Wash, as well as having a grenade stuck to his head, but he still survived it all. Wash got hit by a car, and almost fell off a cliff more than once. Which reminds me of one of the things he said while at the edge of a cliff near the end of season 12."

"And what's that?" I asked.

"He said, 'If it's not a car it's a cliff,' which is very true when you think about it. Cars and cliffs do seem to be his main reoccurring problem," Mom laughed.

"Huh, I guess they're really luck as well as really badass," I summarized. "Which is a pretty good mix if you want to do the things they did."

Mom nodded, "We'll just have to hope it's enough to save this planet.."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic."

-Line-

"Wash! Turn right!" Tex shouted out of nowhere. Jessie looked ahead to find out why, noticing a group of space pirates ahead. Oh, great. Not again! Wow, people don't want us to reach our destination!

"What is it?" Church asked.

"More of those space pirates," Tex answered.

"Okay, yeah, not good," Church nodded.

Jessie spoke up, "Weather you turn out of the way or not doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure they've spotted us."

"Shit," Wash muttered. "They do not stop coming, do they?"

"Apparently not," Tex answered.

"We can take 'em!" Donut encouraged.

"They'll get a taste of shotgun sandwich before crossing us!" Sarge laughed.

"Whoah!" Jessie ducked her head as a knife was thrown over her head.

-Line-

Kimball looked around their hideout/base. "Where the fuck is Felix?"