Dean wasn't sure how long he's been sitting, crying his eyes out, and screaming at the top of his lungs in anger and remorse. He was so angry with himself for what had happened to his little brother, his Sam, his Sammy, on what he went through. How could Sinclair touch his brother like that like he was some kind of sex toy, to do what he wanted for his own pleasures while causing Sam pain? What else did that bastard put Sam through that week in a half of him being there, thinking about made him sick to his stomach on what horrors his little brother endured. Seeing the bruises on his neck, arms, wrist and the groin area, that sick bastard pinned his brother down to have his own fun with him. Knowing that he had to sit on Sam's chest when he choked him, even having to hold his hands to the floor that cause the bruises on his wrist. For the ones on his groin area he couldn't have been sitting on him for that had to be sitting next to him as he touch no violated his brother freely. Thinking back when they were in the car how Sam moved slowly, like every time he would move there was a flinch like he was in pain. He thought it was from him being in shock, now he knows it was from pain instead. The way Sam walked to the bunker and down the stairs slowly, walking like he had a stick up his—no he couldn't do that he couldn't.

Dean remembered Sammy walking like that after the abuse from Brian, when he used that stick on his anus. Sam was even raped by that sick bastard when Brian got a hold of him, then torture Sam for his own pleasure taping ever thing he did to his little brother. When that thought pass through his mind he could feel his stomach turning, the nausea's he was feeling he tried to swallow it back down only to have it come back into his throat. Knowing he couldn't keep it down anymore he turned his head, all his breakfast empty on the ground next to him as he vomit. Imagining what his brother went through made him sick, turning his stomach until all the food came up from his stomach. What was worse was the dry heaves that follow, with tears rolling down his cheeks his stomach hurt like hell. When he was finish he got on shaky legs to move away from the mess, sitting only a few feet from the vomit he took deep breaths to calm himself down.

Feeling more tears filling his eyes he tried to wipe them away, only to have more come running down his cheeks. Just thinking on what Sinclair did to his Sammy angered him deeply, not only did he violate his brother he rape him. He wasn't sure how to handle this since it was his fault that it happened, he let his brother get raped by leaving him with that sick bastard. For a week and a half how many times did that son-of-a-bitch touch, violate his brother, was it the whole time he really didn't want to think about that. Had to wait until Sam woke up to find out when he's ready to talk about it, Dean won't be pushing him for answers since it was his fault. Lost in his self-loathing he didn't hear the screams coming from the cabin, only when his mind clear just a little is when he heard them. Before he even realize he moved he was already entering the back door, running through the main room into the bedroom. What he saw torn his heart in two at the sight of his brother, screaming with his eyes wide open with horror in them. What ever Sam was dreaming he was lost in his nightmare from hell, if Dean only knew that it was a dream of Sam in Hell. Being torture by Lucifer himself.

~~~SPN~~~

Dean stood in the doorway of the bedroom with his feet planted like roots, he couldn't move them until he over came the shock he was in. Shaking his head to clear the fog that was still there from earlier, he pushed his way into the room rushing to Sam's side. Grabbing his brother by his shoulders he tried but fail to wake him up, what ever he was dreaming about he was lock deep into the nightmare. The screams that came from Sam was like he was being hurt bad, like a knife was tearing him apart then it dawn on him he was dreaming about Lucifer.

He wished he could just pull Sam into his arms and hug him tight until the dream was over; the only problem was that Sam was fighting with him. To hear Sam scream then plea for it to stop was too much for Dean to handle, every time he tried to reach for his brother his hands were pushed away. Finally he got a hold of Sam's shoulders to pin him down to the bed, he didn't want his brother to hurt himself anymore then he is. That simple touch sent Sam into panic mode to fight his way away from the threat, this time the pleading was of him asking the person to stop touching him. He knew now that he was dreaming of Sinclair violating his brother, the cries and pleas crush Dean's heart to dust to hear Sam like that. What really got to the older brother was the sob that came from Sam, then to hear more pleas to stop that never came. Only to hear more screams from Sam, this time the screams were of being in pain, like someone was pushing something in. He heard these screams from the video that Brian tape, just like those screams these crushed Dean's soul to hear them again. Dean did the only thing he knew to get to Sam, he started to talk to him in a soft low voice he could mustard.

"Sammy, I need you to listen to me, it's Dean, kiddo, it's your awesome big brother. Sammy, please listen to me, he's not here anymore he can't hurt you." Seeing that he wasn't getting anywhere he tried a different way. "Sam please listen to my voice kiddo it's me Dean, come on Sammy please listen to me. Hey I said to listen to me Sam it's your big brother, you need to calm down little brother."

Dean shook his shoulders hard to get him to focus on him and not the dream, seeing a change in his posture he kept up with the soft voice and touches.

"Sammy, open your eyes for me and look, it's me Dean, I know you can hear me little brother. That's it, open your eyes, hey it's me, see it's me your awesome big brother."

Seeing Sam's eyes open just a slit he sat closer to the man on the bed, he had to make sure he saw his brother and not Sinclair. Seeing some recognition, just a little since his mind held onto the dream, he brought his hands up to Sam's neck and squeeze lightly as he thumbed his cheeks gently. Knowing this will help calm his brother down after a bad dream, he saw that Sam was slowly calming down just a bit. His mind still hung onto the dream and would flinch from Dean's touch, he tried not to be bothered by it but it hurt him. The more he talk to Sam in a low soothing voice he could mustard, he was about to break apart inside to see Sam like this. Seeing the clouds lifting from his sibling eyes he kept on talking to him, he had to get Sam pulled out of the dream that stay stubbornly in his mind.

"Sammy, listen to me carefully, you are okay." 'No, he's not okay dumbass, Dean said to himself' "You are here with me in Jim's old cabin, remember the cabin you came to after you left? You and me are here right now just the two of us, you are not with Sinclair little brother, and you're safe. That's it kiddo, just listen to the sound of my voice, hey calm down it's only me, Sammy."

Dean hasn't talk to Sam like this since he was five years old, after he had a really bad dream that shook him up. As the older brother softly rub his thumb over his cheeks he saw that little brother was calming down, moving one hand to his chest he softly rub small circles knowing this will calm him down. As he did he kept on talking with his brother in a soft low, gruff voice, he even sounded a little hoarse at the moment. It seems to work when he notice Sam was settling back, but his heart rate was to high so was his breathing.

"Sammy, you need to calm down kiddo, your heart is beating to fast and you're practically hyperventilating. Take deep breaths like me, little brother...that's it slow and easy...in and out...that's it you're doing good..."

Seeing that Sam has calm down and that he recognizes him as his brother, he tried to talk to him, which made him wince in pain.

"D'n, how-you know…"

Dean smiles a little before he answered.

"This is your big brother, Samantha, who knows everything about you, I knew where you would headed. Sorry, I didn't get here in time Sammy, I thought I almost lost you."

Dean's voice cracked at the end of his apology, showing he true, raw feelings.

"S'kay...you here now." Sam could see something else in his brother's eyes, he saw unadulterated anger he knew it could not be directed at him. Feeling like a failure he knew what Dean found out, what Sinclair did to him? "You know." Sam couldn't stop the tears that weld up in his eyes.

"Yeah, little brother, I know, I'm so sorry, can you forgive me?"

Dean kept a close eye on the man laying in the bed to see what his reaction would be, what happened next he was expecting, and knew what was coming.

When Sam heard Dean apologizing to him he felt the anger inside of him all over again, blinking away the tears he look at Dean with a cold stare. He was exhausted from the nightmare and the pain, when he heard Dean to forgive him gave him the strength he needed. Feeling the fire inside of him again, it was the fuel he needed to fight with Dean.

"Forgive you Dean, really, it's that what you are going to say, after what I went through with that psycho magician?"

"Sam, I really thought you would be safe there, I didn't see anything wrong with-"

Dean couldn't finish his sentence, since Sam lashed out at him.

"You're kidding me, right? You didn't see anything wrong with that man; he looked at me with lust in his eyes, Dean. You are going to tell me that you didn't see it, oh right you were to busy selling me off for the blade."

"Sam, I was not selling you off for anything, I told you I would come back for you and I did."

"Yeah, that was right after you made an agreement with that sick bastard, me for the blade like I was a trophy to sell to the highest bidder. Once when you got that blade you just took off just like that, never once did you look back, or answered my calls to you."

"You got what you wanted and that is all that matter to you, I'm surprise that you even came back for me. Why did you come back Dean? You had what you wanted: your precious blade, Crowley, the Impala, so why did you come back?"

Sam really wanted to know.

"Sam, I never made an agreement with Sinclair to get the blade for you, I needed the blade to go killed Abaddon, you know the Knight of Hell. If that bitch got a hold of you, she would have used you as a bargaining chip, or worse kill you. I couldn't let that happen so I had to leave you there, how was I suppose to know what he would have done."

"Did you even look around the house of his when we arrived, he had trophies of his prize possession hanging on the wall? Do you really think they were animals heads he had, did you even look to see what they were?"

When Dean didn't answer his question he knew, that he didn't care about Sam and that hurt him deeply.

"I just got my answer, Dean, you didn't even look at anything but the blade, as soon as you touch it I could see a difference in you. The look on your face, the tense muscles in your arm, the cold stare in your eyes. As soon as he took it away that all disappeared from you, the only thing you had was that hungry look of power in your eyes. When he said he'd give it to you if I stayed you never once thought about it, like I didn't even matter to you anymore, like I wasn't even standing next to you."

Dean could feel his anger growing inside of him again, cause he knew that Sam was right about the power. He had to do what was best for his brother, and he thought he was doing the best thing.

Sam could see the anger in Dean's eyes and face knowing that he hit a nerve, knowing that his brother didn't care about him at all. That was a stab in Sam's heart to know the truth about Dean, that he didn't care at all about Sam anymore. The only thing he cares about now is that damn blade and the power, so why did he even come here if he wanted that blade so bad. Why was he so important to Dean now that he travel miles to come and get him, this is something that Sam really wanted to know.

"If I don't matter to you anymore why did you come Dean? What was so important that you left your precious blade? I don't count to you-did you even love me at all, am I still your number one priority or just a burden to you now?"

Sam thought he could never hurt this bad in his life, and it's not from the injuries he got from the Demon. The hurt he's feeling is in his heart and soul, he always loved his big brother no matter what he said. Even when he told Dean he wouldn't do the same thing as he did, which he would do it in a heart beat. Now he's wondering why Dean had Gadreel possess him if he didn't care, why not let Sam die then he would be out of Dean's life for good.

"Why did you have Gadreel possess me if you didn't want me around, Dean, I could have just walked off with Death then out of your life? This way I wouldn't have to be a burden to you, something that you had to live with that you never wanted. The Demon that attack me should have killed me right there, then he would free you of being around someone like me. Someone that you don't care about-"

Sam felt fear in him the way Dean grabbed him so tight and shook him hard; looking into his brother eyes he saw raw anger in them. The anger in his voice took all the anger that Sam was feeling just minutes ago, now he felt like a scared puppy after a thunderstorm trying to hid.

"Don't you dare say that again, Sam! I have never once wished for you to be dead little brother, don't you ever say that again that you should have died. That would have killed me if you just walked away with Death, I couldn't let that happen I can't live in this world without you in it. As for Gadreel possessing you, I would do that again if it means saving you, keeping you by my side in my life as my little brother. The only thing I regret is that he was a mad Angel who wanted revenge, killing Kevin 'cause of Metatron's orders. Taking over your body making you do thing against your will, that is all on me and I will go to Hell for that."

"You have always been my number one priority, my whole life even now Sammy, there hasn't been a day that goes by that I don't want you in it. As for that Demon who attacked you, he better be far away from here, once when you are up and ready to go I'm finding that bastard. He don't touch you and live to tell about what he did, he'll be dead before I will ever let that happen."

"As for leaving you with Sinclair I was doing that to keep you safe, I was going to come back and get you, little brother. No I didn't notice the trophies on the wall when we were there, and yes I only cared about the power that I felt after I held the blade. All I wanted was to go find that bitch and kill her, she cause to many problems for us almost getting you killed. That is why I couldn't bring you with me this time around, the last time I almost lost you cause of her I couldn't do that again."

"When I arrived back at the Mansion I had one thing on my mind, that was getting you back with me as my partner and brother. When Sinclair told me that you didn't want to come with me, that you wanted to stay with him to live there. I knew he was lying through his teeth and I was not taking no for an answer, told him that you didn't belong to him you belong to me. He didn't like that answer and wouldn't tell me where you were, I even threaten him if he didn't get you I will kill him. So the dumb ass gets a sword to fight me, telling me that I'm going to die and you will be here forever. Let's just say he didn't last long in the fight, I slice his head right off his shoulders didn't even flinch a muscle."

"Then I went to look for you started to call your name, hoping that you would answer me where every you were. I check all the rooms and couldn't find you in any of them, I was getting scared that he might have killed you or hid you somewhere else. I saw his butler and ask where he was hiding you, told him he better not lie to me or else that would happen to him. He led me to the stairs that lead down to the cages, that is where I found you huddle in the last cage. My anger grew when I saw you laying on the dirty floor, without a shirt or pants on just in your boxers."

"I should have looked you over Sammy before we left from there, then I would have seen all the abuse you went through. I was too high on my power surge that I was on from killing Abaddon, that I never once thought about what you went through. Now I wish I didn't kill him so fast as I did, wish I could bring him back so I can ripped him apart for what he did to you."

"I know saying I'm sorry won't be good enough for what happened little brother, I hope that one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. You are the most important thing in the world to me, no matter how my actions have been lately. I love you so much little brother I know I don't say it enough, or my actions says something else other then that. You are my little brother, that only one I ever want, I don't need anyone else in my life besides you. Boy is this sounding like a soppy chick flick moment, it's the truth Sammy I love you with my whole heart and soul."

When Dean was done with his ranting and open emotions, he glance over at his little brother next to him. The look on his face crush Dean to his very core if it could be crush anymore, what he saw was a scared little kid that feared the monster in the night. He's whole face was changing emotions like waves hitting the shores, some where small while other were big and large. What made him feel shitty was when his little brother eyes welled up in tears; he wasn't sure if he should comfort him or leave the room. He would wait and see what Sam wanted to do, he didn't have to wait to long before his brother made his moved.

Sam sat there in shock as he listen to what Dean had said to him, after grabbing him in anger holding him tight. Watching as all the emotions was coming out as he talked; he hasn't see his brother like this in years. Hearing that his brother still love and care about him broke something in Sam, hearing him saying that he couldn't live without him fill Sam with joy. Listening to him as he kept on talking showing his raw feeling so openly, which Dean doesn't do he hides them so deep inside of him. Hearing it now gave Sam hope that he hasn't lost his big brother after all, feeling like a small child again he wanted his brother to calm his fears. The adult in him wanted some more time to think things over in his head, the child in him wanted his brother to hug him to make him feel safe and protected. The child in him won out at that moment when he throw his arms around his brother's neck, holding him close feeling the warmth of his body and the arms that in circled him.

Gathering his emotions taking a deep breath he needed to let Dean know, on what he is feeling at the moment. Hoping that what he's about to say won't chase his brother away from him, holding him tighter so he won't be able to pull away and leave.

"Dean, I need some time to think things over about what happened the last three weeks. I'm still angry with you for what happened back there. I want you to stay-that is if you want to stay here, we would need separate rooms since I need some time to myself. I'm so hurt and anger by what you did at Sinclair's, then not even once asking how I was feeling or doing. You just started to yell at me making me feel like I was being selfish, that I wasn't your brother anymore just some burden you need to take care of."

"I'm having a hard time trusting you, I don't hate you Dean, never could, so please don't think that I hate you for what I'm asking. I do love you, big brother always have and always will, I just need some space to think things over."

Sam wasn't sure how Dean would act to what he just said to him, expecting for him to pull away, calling him a selfish, snot nose brat, yell at him then turn around and leave him behind. He wasn't expecting his brother to hug him tighter, or feel the shakiness of his body, knowing that he was crying.

Dean listen to everything what Sam was telling him; it hurt him to hear that Sam didn't trust him. Now he knows how Sam felt when Dean told him the same thing five years ago, it hurt like Hell to hear that his little brother don't trust him. To hear that Sammy still loves him gave him hope that they can still be brothers, he would give Sam all the time he needed and he'll be right there with him.

He didn't let Sam go until his brother pulled him away, he moved back on the bed to give him some room. Clearing his throat from all the emotions he was feeling, he looked over at Sam who was now looking at him leery. He could tell that his little brother was thinking at the moment, he was expecting him to get up and leave him behind. Taking a deep breath to relax his nerves, he asked his brother if he could stay in the other room.

"Will it be okay with you if I stay in the other room, or do you want me to get a hotel room in town?"

Dean waited nervously for Sam's answer.

"You can stay in the other room, Dean, right next door to this one, might have to do some laundry tomorrow for clean sheets. While you are out need to do some groceries shopping since I only bought rabbit food, didn't expect you to be here so I didn't get anything you like."

"That's okay Sammy, I did bring some groceries with me before I came here, while you were sleeping I put it away. As for the laundry I got a blanket in the trunk I can used for tonight, then tomorrow morning I will go do the laundry and get some more food."

Getting off the bed Dean, headed to the bathroom to get Sam his pain pills, placing them on the dresser with a glass of water he stepped out the door. Closing the door he leaned against it with his heart feeling like lead, he has really hurt his Sammy bad this time around. He'll do what ever it takes to get his trust back, so they can be brothers again he'll give him the time he needs. Heading out to the Impala he grabbed his duffel and the blanket, going back inside he went to the bedroom next to Sam's.

Heading to the bathroom so he can take a hot shower since he hadn't had one in two days, standing under the shower head he let the hot liquid wash all his failures away.

~~~SPN~~~

Back at the park the Demon who had attacked Sam lay dead on the ground, while the other Demon got his phone out to call Crowley.

"Sir, I wanted to let you know that the Demon got a hold of Sam, he cut him in the chest before I got to him."

"Did he kill Moose?"

"No my Lord, I stopped him before he kill Winchester, when I turned back to check on him he was gone."

"Squirrel won't be happy that Moose got hurt, he's going to be looking for the moron. He won't be happy that someone else killed that idiot, do what you must to get rid of the body."

"Yes my Lord, there's a lot of animals out here that can do that."

After hanging up with The King of Hell the Demon looked around, he notices the presence of wolves and bears in the distance. Lifting the body off the ground he headed further into the woods as possible, getting off the main trail to have it look like an animal kill. Watching the animals sniffing the air in his directions, he waited to see what they would do. Seeing the three Grizzlies lumbering his way he back up away from the body, hiding himself in the shadows of the forest he watch the bears feast. Keeping a far distance from the animals he back up until he was at a safe distance, turning he headed back to the trail leaving the carnage behind him.

TBC