"On the one hand, Harry got away from those people just in time," Astra summarized. "But, on the other hand, he's out in the middle of London with a trunk full of magical items."
"Oh, I've been there," John grumbled.
Sirius and James nodded knowingly. They had both been there too.
"At least we're done with the Dursleys, for now," Lily said.
"I want to find out what happens next," Mia said.
"We all do," Lena agreed.
"Well, let's not waste any more time," Kara said. "Let's see what's next."
"Chapter Three" Gideon narrated. "The Knight Bus."
Bellatrix screamed in horror. It was a blood curdling, horrified scream which gave someone the impression she was being murdered. And then, Bellatrix Lestrange curled up in a fetal ball and started rocking back and forth. Some were amused and other were concerned.
"No, no, not that, anything but that," Bellatrix said.
"What's the deal with her?" Lita asked.
"Bellatrix doesn't have very good luck with the Knight Bus," Andromeda said.
"Oh, that's putting it rather mildly," Sirius said.
"The hot chocolate is a scam, don't buy the hot chocolate unless you want a burned crotch," Bellatrix managed.
All of the people in the room, men and women alike winced.
"Oh boy," Sara said.
"You'd have better luck with the Ministry than taking that death trap," Bellatrix said.
"I have to agree," Ron said. "And it's not gotten any better over the years."
"Well, let's enjoy this fun time," Astoria said.
"You have a sick sense of fun," Bellatrix grumbled.
Once the adrenaline of fleeing the Dursleys fades, panic sets in. Harry remembers his previous trouble with the Ministry of Magic and it is honestly a shock that Ministry officials aren't swooping in on him.
"That would require them to be on the ball," Junior said.
"I don't know, they were pretty on the ball for the entire house elf pudding thing," Ruby said. "And you would think that they would be keeping an eye on things after that."
"Especially with the escaped convict on the loose," Remus said.
"Oh, come on, I only broke out to murder the Dursleys," Sirius said. "At least I'm assuming."
"Great, you're a bundle of paranoid nerves," Astra said.
"And if you're anything like Lily, you're going to do something reckless," Natalie said.
"And if you're anything like James, you would as well," Sirius said.
Lily and James both folded their arms and Natalie and Sirius both responded with a "you know I'm right looks."
"Moving along," Lena said.
Harry has the brilliant plan of using his wand to lighten his trunk, tie it to his broomstick, empty his Gringotts account, and live life as an outcast.
"Overreaction much," Kate said.
"It's not your worst plan," Peter said. "But, it's a pretty bad plan."
"Your plans get better eventually," Zari said.
"But, when is the question," Sara said.
"Fifth year, maybe sixth year, they improve a little," Harry said.
"This is such a Lily plan it isn't even funny," Natalie said.
"James would have done it too," Peter piped up.
"Oh, I don't know, I might have….actually I would have," James said.
There's this feeling with Harry that someone is watching him.
"I wouldn't be surprised," John said.
"Oh now what?" Astra asked.
"Well, it might not be bad," Sirius suggested.
"We'll see if it is," Mia said. "At least you're alert and mindful of your surroundings."
"Harry always was," Ron said.
Harry spies a mysterious dark object in the alleyway. The shock causes Harry to go ass over tea kettle and fall, almost hitting his head in the process.
"And you could have gotten a concussion," Lily said fretfully.
"I'm pretty sure Harry's got whacked in the head a few times in these stories already," Sara said.
"Not to mention some unfortunate near misses," Kara said.
Lily remembered her sister and the frying pan and gnashed her teeth. If Harry ducked that time, did Petunia or Vernon…no…Lily's blood pressure was already high enough after that bitch Marge.
This triggers the arrival of the Knight Bus. And their boisterous conductor, Stan Shunpike, who gives his spiel until he notices Harry on the ground.
"Great, that dipstick," Tonks said with a sigh.
"Rocks for brains that one," Ron agreed.
"Just try going to school with him," Tonks said. "He wasn't part of my friend circle, but he was always a bit of an idiot."
"And they put him in charge of the Knight Bus," Daphne said.
"Nice to see their stellar choices for conductors hasn't gotten any better," Bellatrix said in a biting tone of voice.
Stan seems amused that Harry fell over.
"Oh, yes, let's laugh at the child with a concussion," Zari said.
"Real mature," Lena said.
"I told you, Stan's a big idiot," Tonks said.
"And we'll just see how big of an idiot he is in a few minutes," Lita said.
"Oh fuck," Astra murmured.
"Beginning to think Harry was better on his own?" Daphne asked.
Astra nodded in confirmation.
Harry points out he saw a big black thing, which looked like a massive dog. And this causes Stan to be flummoxed.
"Superstitious and moronic, I see," Daphne said dryly.
"It's me!" Sirius yelled.
"Spoilers, Padfoot," Peter said.
"Oh, you've thrown him for a loop," Kate said.
Harry manages to shield his scar and introduces himself to Stan as Neville Longbottom.
"Wait, you said you were me?" Neville asked.
"Well, I couldn't pose as Hermione," Harry offered.
"And he's not ginger enough to pose as a Weasley," George said.
"Therefore you were the first name that came to mind," Harry said.
"Well, I'm surprised that Stan's dense enough to believe it," Neville said.
"I'm not," Tonks said dryly.
"Oh, you've made your feelings quite clear already," Sara said.
"And I'll continue to make them clear when we deal with this nitwick," Tonks scoffed.
Harry pays his fee and it's off on the Knight Bus we go on.
"You ordered the hot chocolate?" Bellatrix asked.
"Yes, I did," Harry said.
"Boy, you got conned," Bellatrix said.
"Please tell me that it didn't spill," Kara said.
"Oooh, thanks a lot for that thought Kara," Lena groaned.
"Nowhere vital," Harry said.
'Good, good," Lily said.
All of the women nodded in response.
We meet Ernie Prang, the driver.
"He's still around?" Bellatrix asked. "But, he's as a blind as a bat."
"Well the bus pretty much drives itself, doesn't it?" Hermione asked.
"That's not the point, if the charms fail, someone needs to take the wheel," Bellatrix said.
"Oh, I have a bad feeling about this bus," Charlotte said.
"Once and never again," Kate said.
"Oh, I don't know, it has its charm," George said.
"It can be quite a rush," Fred said.
"You two are mental," Bellatrix said. "I want you to know that."
The Weasley twins just responded by bowing.
Stan makes a comment about how Muggles don't notice anything when Harry asks what they see.
"Well, he's half right," Mia said. "People in general, whether magical or non-magical, have a tendency to overlook things that they don't want to see."
"And seek out things which confirms the biases they already have, while discounting everything else as fake news," Zari said.
"Still, eh?" Junior asked.
"I'm afraid so," Ava said in a dull voice.
Harry notices that Sirius Black is on the front of the Daily Prophet newspaper.
"Look, I'm famous!" Sirius yelled. "They could have chosen a better mugshot though."
"They always pick the worst possible photo for mugshots," Mick said.
"Mugshots, drivers licenses, school pictures," Lita said. "Those photos are really cursed."
"And I've had my worst side captured in all three," Sara said.
"You too, huh?" Mick asked.
After Harry points out that Black was on the Muggle News, Stan says of course he was, and suggests "Neville" should read the paper more.
"Condescending little twat, aren't we?" John asked.
"Well if Sirius escaped Azkaban, that's going to be big news," Regulus said. "Although, I wonder what he's in for."
"Before we read ahead," Sara said. "I should point out that we're reading about things that haven't happened yet."
"And the people who haven't done then shouldn't be held accountable for anything," Harry said.
"Oooh, that doesn't sound good at all," Peter said.
"Now, I'm really curious," Bellatrix said.
Harry learns about the danger of Sirius Black, along with the fact he killed thirteen people with one curse.
Everyone looked shocked. James looked at Sirius and then the image on the screen and his son and then all around.
"Impossible," James murmured. "It can't be."
"There…there must have been a reason," Sirius said. "I can't…maybe I was dumb enough to think that I could get into dark magic to protect the ones I loved and I lost my bloody mind."
Sirius was reaching out for any kind of explanation but anyone was flummoxed about what they learned.
"Sirius, you…" Lily said. "I can't believe this."
"I don't either," Bellatrix said. "Something about this is not right."
"No, it's not right," Peter said. "Sirius never would do that."
"It's years from now though, not sure if I mentally broke for some reason," Sirius said.
"Well, we can find out what happened and put a stop to it?" Peter asked hopefully.
"Just keep reading," Astra said coolly.
Harry compares Black to a vampire.
"But he doesn't even sparkle," Ruby said.
"Why would a vampire sparkle?" Remus asked.
"You're better off not knowing, trust me," Lita said.
"Oh, I look terrible and did something terrible, at least according to these papers," Sirius said.
"I still don't buy it," Bellatrix said.
Sirius was not so sure. Something really weird was going on.
Harry finds out that Black is a supporter of Voldemort. And saying the name gets the reaction that is obvious.
"NO!" Sirius yelled. "I can't…I won't…"
"You would never, I know," James said.
"Sirius is pretty blatant about his hate for Voldemort and the Death Eaters," Remus said.
"Blatant, yes, that's one word to put it," Severus said. "Although, you're looking at things through some rose-tinted glasses if you think Black isn't capable of murder. Let us not forget…"
"Stop it right now," Sirius said.
"Oh, you had it coming," Bellatrix said nastily. "You were putting your oversized hook nose where it didn't belong."
"Let's bring this up later," Sara said.
"Because trust me, this point will come up later," Harry said. "And I've dealt with that particular incident more than enough to want to rip my hair out."
"But, I'm not a murderer, right?" Sirius asked.
"Everything will be made clear by the end of the book," Harry told them. "But, don't judge anyone too harshly until all of the facts are out and even then, remember no one has become the people you are in the future yet."
"Not making me feel any better," Sirius said. "I want to know if I've taken leave of my senses or not."
"Oh, suck it up, buttercup," John said. "You're going to have to learn with the rest of them."
"Astra?" Natalie asked.
"They're…discussing things I already know about," Astra said quietly. "That's all I want to say."
"Fair enough," Natalie said.
Astra struggled not to strangle Pettigrew on principle. Sara, Ava, and Harry were right, he was not the man he became yet. But, way too soon.
Stan and Ernie talk more about Black, talking about how he just killed all of those people and laughed like a madman in the middle of the street.
"That's a pretty bad look when you think about it," Daphne said.
"Oh, it is a very bad look," Percy added. "More proof that Black lost his mind."
"Remember when I said I want everyone to keep an open mind?" Harry asked. "That includes you, Percy."
Percy's jaw had been set and he nodded.
"This is not making me look very innocent," Sirius said.
"Well, we don't really know what happened," Lily said. "Hearsay at this point really."
'There's got to be something more to this than meets the eye," Peter remarked.
Ernie remarks that he would blow himself up before he steps foot into Azkaban, and talks about how creepy the Azkaban guards are.
"Oooh, that's for sure," Tonks said with a shudder.
"Still would rather brave Azkaban than the Knight Bus," Bellatrix said.
"I just can't believe the Ministry would put those monsters in charge of people," Kate said. "Even all these years later, it's stupid."
"They thought they would disourage any trouble," Junior suggested grimly.
"And instead they caused more by feeding the plague," John said.
Harry wonders if blowing up Aunt Marge will be enough to land him in Azkaban.
"Harry's melodrama is back in full force," Kara said.
"Good, we need something to lighten the mood," Sara said.
"Well, you'd get a hearing, if they thought you did it on purpose," Andromeda explained. "But, they had no reason to think the worst of you right now."
"This year at least," Harry said.
"If anything, you should get an Order of Merlin for putting up for her for that long without losing it," Daphne said.
The Knight Bus takes Harry to Diagon Alley. Where they come across Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic himself.
"Well, that's not good," Mia said.
"Oh, Fudge likes me this year," Harry said.
"Not sure if that's something you should be celebrating or not," Junior said. "And Black, if this blithering idiot is in charge of the Ministry, you should feel pretty good about your chances of survival."
"Already, I feel good about my future fugitive prospects," Sirius said dryly.
"As you should," Junior said.
"Neville" is outed as Harry Potter by the Minister, and Stan says he knew it all along.
"I'm going to press X to doubt on that one," Lita said.
"Oh, you little liar, we both know you didn't know," Tonks said while shaking her head.
Fudge says he needs to meet Harry inside of the Leaky Cauldron.
"Oooh, I'm really sorry about that," Junior said. "Dealing with that dolt."
"And obviously he's going to not tell Harry anything of value," Lena said.
"So, you've noticed a pattern?" Kara asked.
"Yes," Lena said. "I'm wondering how you didn't go mental with all of these people keeping in the dark."
"Not easily," Harry said. "It's really infuriating when they expect you to know better, even though no one warned you of the danger."
Harry really stopped putting up with that shit during his fifth year, but that was still a log time to come.
Despite knowing that Harry is Harry, Stan still calls him Neville as they say their goodbyes.
"Still, even after he's told who you really were," Astoria said.
"Idiot," Tonks grumbled. "Utter wanker."
"Well, Harry's not in good spirits now," Sara said.
"Given what he was led to believe about the Ministry, I'm not sure if I can blame him," Ava said.
Fudge and Harry have some tea and crumpets in a private parlor.
"Oh, aren't you blessed?" Junior asked curtly.
"Obviously, the most thrilling moment of my life up to this point," Harry said.
"Not in trouble," Astra said.
"Only because of me," Sirius said. "I wonder what the reaction would have been if I hadn't broken out of Azkaban."
"Likely Harry would have been turned around and sent back to the Dursleys," Kara said in disgust.
"Pretty much," Harry said. "And I'd be told to keep my temper in check."
"Along with assurances the Dursleys would get a stern talking to," Ron said.
The twins nodded grimly.
Fudge introduces himself to Harry, although Harry already knows the man. He just can't say it because he was illegally spying at the time.
"What were you doing?" Percy asked.
"Oh, well, we were hiding in Hagrid's hut underneath the Invisibility Cloak," Harry said. "The night when he was sent to Azkaban."
"Good idea to leave those details out," Fred said.
"Might complicate things just a tad," George agreed.
Fudge informs Harry that he gave them quite the fright, but things are settled. Marge has been deflated, memory modified. No harm done. And Fudge just nonchalantly states that while The Dursleys are mad, they are willing to take him back during the summer holidays. Providing he stays at Hogwarts during Christmas and Easter.
"You didn't ask any questions to why the thirteen year old wizard might have lost his mind and blown up that horrible woman," Lily said. "Really? None at all."
"That's a walking mess of red flags if there ever was one," Ava said.
"And Harry always stays at Hogwarts during Christmas and Easter," Kara said.
"Human emotions are alien to the politician," Bellatrix said while rolling her eyes. "That a thing in the Muggle world?"
"Yes," Lita said. "But, that's all I'm allowed to say."
"Figured as much," Bellatrix said.
Harry remarks he always stays and he never wants to return to Privet Drive.
"Not finding anything wrong with this, Minister?" Lily asked. "Not going to launch an inquiry is he?"
"Of course, he isn't," Ron said. "That would require Fudge to face inconvenient truths. And I'm sure Dumbledore assured him just like he assured my parents that everything would be straightened out."
"Oh, fuck, he's right, isn't it?" Astra asked.
"I wouldn't doubt it," Harry agreed.
"Just lovely," Lily grumbled.
Fudge remarks that Harry and the Dursleys love each other very deep down.
"How big of a shovel do you want, Corny?" Bellatrix asked.
"I thought with Lockhart we were done with the delusional twats," Remus said.
"We can only be so lucky," Kara said. "I'm surprised you kept a straight face."
"It wasn't easy," Harry said. "But, I stopped bothering getting adults to listen to reason before then."
"A very unhealthy attitude to have," Zari added.
"And yet not unsurprising," Lena said darkly.
Fudge states that Harry needs to stay somewhere and suggests a room at the Leaky Cauldron.
"Well, since you're not going to do your job, sure why not," Lily said.
"Not going to tell him at all, either?" Mia asked.
"Of course, that would require them to have the most basic level of consideration," Kate said. "And if Dad didn't read about Sirius in the newspaper or see him on the news, he would be none the wiser that a mad man is on the loose."
"Oooh, what if I'm after Harry?" Sirius asked.
"You're being paranoid," James said.
"But, if I…if I turned my back on you all and I joined up with Voldemort, that means…I might want revenge," Sirius murmured.
Harry asks about his punishment.
"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" George yelled in a scandalized voice.
"Yes, Hermione?" Harry asked in a cheeky tone.
Hermione just scoffed and rolled her eyes. Mia, Kara, and Kate all snickered.
"You never ask for a punishment when it's not given," George said.
"Kids these days," Fred said while shaking his head.
"No respect for tradition," George said.
"None at all," Fred said.
"You and your nobility,' Kara said.
Fudge states that people don't get sent to Azkaban for blowing up their aunts.
"Oh, they don't do they?" Fred asked.
"Please tell me you two aren't considering blowing up Muriel," Ron said.
"Fine Ron, we're not considering that," George said. "Not in the slightest."
"The two of you better not," Percy said.
"And technically Marge wasn't Harry's aunt, no blood shared between the two of them," Zari added.
"Thank Rao for that," Kara said.
"I agree," Lily murmured.
"Only related because Petunia married her idiot brother," Andromeda said.
Harry explains the situation with the house elf last year, which goes right over Fudge's head. He blusters about circumstances changing.
"So, he knew about Dobby?" Tonks asked.
"Yes, I told him, but he just brushed it off like it was nothing," Harry said.
"Typical," Daphne said. "I wonder how he blundered his way into the Ministry."
"Gold talks," Malfoy said. "Fudge was an easy puppet for people like my father. And Dumbledore."
Harry wonders if it's odd for the Minister of Magic to personally handle such matters. They don't normally handle matters of underage magic.
"Yeah, this stinks," Lena agreed.
"Really, badly," Kara agreed.
"Fudge is throwing up so many red flags it's not funny," Zari said.
"And yet, he's not tripping to share anything with Harry," Lily said.
Fudge tells Harry that there's a room and has him promise not to wander far.
"But, are you going to tell him why?" Lily asked.
"Obviously not," Kate said. "Dad's got better luck getting informaton out of a brick wall."
"Fudge is about as thick as one," Fred said.
"Poor communication kills," Sara said.
"Feel like I should have that put on my tombstone," Harry said.
When Harry asks why, Fudge gives him the politician's answer of not wanting to lose Harry.
"Oooh, you idiot, you're going to lose him if you don't tell him why," Sirius said. "If future me is going to kill Harry, then past me, as in the now me, wants Harry to know everything, so he can stop the murder."
"That would be practical," Bellatrix agreed. "Which is why it's not getting done."
"There's a part of me that misses Lockhart," Zari said. "Fudge is somehow worse."
"And he's not just an idiot, but an idiot with power," Remus said with a grumble.
"The worst kind of idiot," Mick agreed.
"Typical politician," Ruby practically scoffed.
Harry asks about Black and Fudge is a bit thrown off that Harry's heard, but Fudge assures Harry that Black will be caught soon. And the Azkaban guards are furious.
"He didn't want to mention me at all," Sirius said. "And yet, you don't want to lose Harry."
"At this point, I'm getting used to the adults not giving Harry all of the information he needs," Astra said. "And I don't like it."
"We say this about three or four times every book, but every adult has failed Harry in some way," Nora said. "Fudge is just the latest in a long line."
"Harry should trust the Ministry, to do their jobs," Percy said.
"Well, given that I escaped in the first place and they haven't been close to catching me, it's not a good job," Sirius said.
Fudge does decline to sign Harry's Hogsmeade permission form when Harry asks. And suggests it might be better off if he doesn't attend until next year.
"I would be hammering him with the whys at this point," Lily said.
"And you haven't been beaten down like Harry is, to the point where he's jaded," Sara said.
"I wouldn't have gotten anywhere," Harry said.
"To talk to a politician is to expect to walk in circles," Junior said.
"Especially one as dense as Fudge," Zari said.
"I've seen denser," Harry said. "But, he's on a special level."
"No shit," Astoria murmured.
Tom leads Harry up and finds out that Hedwig has already arrived. Tom remarks how smart Hedwig is.
"Good news, best girl is back," Nora said with a smile.
"Damn straight she's smart," Ruby said with a grin.
"Leagues better than Fudge," Lily said.
"Man gives me a headache just thinking about how much damage he's caused," Daphne said.
Harry's final musing before drifting off to sleep, remarks that it's a very strange night.
"Understatement," Harry said.
"And there's the chapter," Sara said.
"Fudge gives me a headache," Mick grumbled.
"Yes, he doesn't want Harry to know anything and yet expects him to follow his instructions," Kara said. "It's a damn good thing Harry's enticed by the magical alley, and has no reason to go back in the other world."
"And then there's Sirius," Peter said. "I don't know if I buy what's going on."
"At this point, I don't know what I believe," Sirius said.
"I believe that you wouldn't go over the deepend," James said.
Sirius did wonder if he would. If he had been tempted to dabble in dark magic, many Blacks had gone down that road where they lost themselves to the most temping of magic.
"Well, at least Harry's out of danger," Natalie said. "For now."
"Not too much other than Fudge being an idiot, Stan being a moron, and the revelations about Sirius," Tonks said lightly. "So, next chapter?"
"Lets," Ava said.
Sirius was anxious as everyone else. He clung onto the hope these books would prove that he did not become what they said he became. There were a lot of damning hints he would cave into his worst impulses as a Black.
To Be Continued.