In this chapter Sam will talk to Dean about what he went through with Sinclair, it will go into detail on what had happen to him while he was there. That part will be mark with bold black lettering, so it's up to you readers if you want to read what happen to Sammy.

Three days has past since Dean had his encounter with the Demons who were after Sam, and his argument he had with his brother over them, Sinclair and their unsolved issues. Lying in bed, Dean was trying to get the dream he had had again out of his mind, it's been the same one the first day he was here with his brother. Of him becoming a Demon and killing his brother in cold blood with the blade, he would wake up breathing hard trying to calm his nerves and fears. Glancing at the Mark he wondered if this was one of the warnings that Cain had issued, he did say having the Mark would be a great burden with consequences. He hadn't cared at the time when he received the mark from the first murderer; he needed it and the blade to kill Abaddon, that was the only thing on his mind at the time. Now he's wondering if this was one of the warnings the Knight of Hell was talking about, for one thing he would never kill his brother out of anger or anything else. That goes against everything he stands for as a big brother, protector of his little brother, yes his dad did say he would have to kill Sam that was if he couldn't save him, which he did.

So why was he having these dreams of murdering his own flesh and blood, the one he gave his life for, sacrifice everything so he could have a good life? Sitting up in bed, he rubbed his hands over his face before running them through his hair, glancing at his watch he saw it was 7 in the morning. Knowing he won't be able to go back to sleep he got out of bed, walking into the kitchen he started a pot of coffee for him and Sam. Walking into the bathroom he did his business then he took a shower, as he dried himself off he felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Listening carefully for any kind of danger that might be after his brother, Dean turned to leave the room when he heard screams coming from Sam's bedroom. Dropping the towel as he ran from the room, Dean had to get to his Sammy fast, before he knew it he was sitting next to his little brother who was still screaming. What crushed his heart was to hear Sam begging for him not to leave, to come back and help him get away from Sinclair.

Watching Sam struggle was too much for Dean to do nothing but sit there, so taking his hands he placed them on his brother's shoulders. The simple touch sent his little brother into panic mode as he fought the hands from him, holding his brother tight was hard with Sam fighting the hold he had. Knowing that he had to get Sam awake from his dream before he hurt himself, Dean shook him hard and yelled out his name at the same time. What it did was scared his brother more as he fought harder to escape from the hands, Dean kicking himself mentally for scaring him more, taking a deep breath, he talked softly to his frantic brother.

"Sammy, listen to me you are not with Sinclair, you are at Jim's cabin with me remember? Sam, you've got too listen to me, little brother, snap out of it you are not with him, I'm right here."

Seeing that he wasn't getting any where with his brother being trapped in the nightmare, Dean was going to shake him harder but stopped as he heard Sam talking in his sleep, more coherently than before.

"No, please, Dean don't leave me here with this pervert, come back Dean, please come back. Stay away from me, don't touch me, keep your hands off me, I said leave me alone. Let me go-get off of me-no-please-stop-please no, Dean please stop the pain come back please come back."

The screams of pain coming from Sam tore at Dean's heart strings, his chest tightened uncomfortably to hear his brother screams and begging. What got him the most was Sinclair having Sam seeing him walking away, like he didn't care about his little brother anymore which is so not true. Feeling a burning rage in him toward Sinclair, Dean so wanted that man to be alive right now, shaking that thought out of his head he has a little brother who needed his help.

Knowing what he had to do to get through to his panic stricken brother, which he's going to hate himself for doing it. Taking his left hand he pushed down hard on the man's chest, with his other hand he balled it up in a fist. Taking a deep breath and whispering 'sorry' to Sammy, he brought his fist down hard on his brother's jaw. Wincing when Sam's head snapped hard to the right by the blow of his fist, seeing that it had no effect on his frantic brother he shook him harder. Each shake lifted Sam off the bed as he yelled at his brother, he was so locked up in the dream that nothing he did pulled him out of it. Dean started to plead with his brother to wake him up, he didn't want to injure the man on the bed anymore then he was.

"Sammy, come on man, wake the hell up, you are not with Sinclair you are here with me. Please Sammy, wake the hell up, I SAID WAKE THE HELL UP NOW SAM! Come on, Sammy work with me here, show me a sign your still in there, you're scaring the crap out of me Sam so please wake up."

Feeling tears in his eyes too see how much pain his brother is in, fueled the anger inside of him towards Sinclair. He knew letting that anger loose would only hurt his brother more, he didn't need to add anymore pain then he already did. He had to do something to get through to him even though he's going to regret it, putting his hand into a fist again and being careful not to bust any of the stitches. He brought his fist down hard onto his brother's chest with a loud thud, two things happen when his fist hit his brother. One Sam shot up in bed so fast Dean didn't have time to prepare himself, second he felt a sharp blow to his left side of his face, taking him down to the floor with a loud thud. Shaking the stars out of his vision he glared at Sam for just a second, seeing the scared frighten look in his eyes took all the anger out of Dean.

Lifting himself off the floor, Dean slowly sat on the bed talking in the most comforting voice he could muster; he had to let Sam know that he was here at the cabin not with Sinclair.

"Sammy, hey looked at me, see it's me, Dean, your awesome big brother. That's it, Sammy, calm down, take deep breaths, in and out like me, that it's kiddo. Hey, calm down, he's not here Sammy it's only you and me."

Seeing his brother calming down released some of the tension Dean was feeling, the Mark on his arm was burning hot from his anger. The more he relax the burning subsided just a little until it finally stop all together, taking a deep breath to calm his own nerves he glance over at Sam. If his heart wasn't broken from all the screams he heard, it would be now to see the scared, frightened child he knew back when he was five years old. Seeing his eyes tearing up hurt him so deep knowing it was the pain he gave him, moving closer to comfort his brother to let him know that he wasn't mad at him. Reaching his arms around his shoulders he pulled his brother close, hugging him tight close too his chest so he can hear his heart beat. Feeling his arms go around him holding tight like he's his lifeline, he felt the sobs coming from his brother. Rubbing small circles on his back he let his brother cry, he won't even give him a hard time about it later. This was something that Sam needed right now was the comfort, and he was willing too give it to him as much as he wanted it himself.

Lying against his brother's chest listening to his heartbeat he knows so well, started to calm all his fears he had with his dream. Snuggling closer feeling like he's five years old again who wanted his brother love and comfort, he let all his emotions loose as he felt the arms around him hold him closer. Sam couldn't stop the tears from falling after that nightmare he just had, this one was the worse one of them all. This was something he couldn't hid from his brother since he saw first hand how freak out he was, knowing that Dean had to hit him in the jaw and chest since those areas hurt. He knew that it had to hurt Dean to do that to his brother, then he himself had to hit him so hard it took him to the floor. Now he had to talk to his brother about this night terrors he has been having, this one really had shaking him up to were he became violent towards his brother.

Adjusting himself in Dean's hold, Sam happened to look down and tense up at what he saw. Pushing himself away as the images came back to his mind ten fold, feeling panic rise up in him, Sam pushed harder to get away. The more he pushed himself from the person the hold became tighter, which in turned made him panic more to where he couldn't catch his breath.

Dean felt his brother grow tense in his arms right before he started to pull away; holding him tighter only panicked Sam more. Feeling, more then seeing, his brother's breaths coming in short, hard gasps, the older sibling tried to calm the young man down in his arms. Feeling Sam going into a panic attack, Dean pulled him away, seeing the fear in his eyes crushed Dean's already broken heart. Wondering what set his brother off in such a short period of time, looking where his brother's eyes hadn't moved from with fear and panic in them. As he looked down he curse himself silently as what he saw, he was butt naked because he didn't have time to put clothes on before running to Sam's aid. Scrambling off the bed as fast as he could he ran to his bedroom, as he went he yelled at himself for being so stupid.

"Shit-didn't even think about getting clothes on, you are such a fucking idiot, Dean."

Running to his bedroom Dean got dressed as fast as he could because had to get back to his brother to get him calmed down. Hurrying back to Sam's room with a heavy heart, it still felt like lead at what he saw. Sam couldn't catch his breath as he was having a panic attack. Dean rushed up to his bed- this time fully clothed- he place both of his hands around his brother's neck. Talking to Sam in a calm soft voice like his brother was a young child, Dean had to reach his little brother before he passed out from lack of oxygen.

"Sam, hey, look at me it's Dean, come on Sammy calm your breathing down, that's it little brother slow your breathing. Hey it's me Sammy see it's your awesome, adorable big brother, that's it nice and slow like me in and out that's good keep up the good work."

The more Dean talked to Sam he could see that his brother was listening to his voice, rubbing the back of his neck to help him calm down. Seeing the fear and panic finally leave Sam's eyes, his breathing finally slowing down to normal was when Dean let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Sam couldn't catch his breath as he watch his brother run from the room, seeing him naked brought back all the nightmares he had about Sinclair. He knew in his heart it was Dean next to him but his mind kept telling him it was that sick pervert Sinclair. Trying to calm his fears he took deep breath that wouldn't come, seeing black dots forming in his eyes he wish his brother was here.

Feeling a presence next to him he tense up more, thinking it was that man again, then feeling warm, strong hands on the back of his neck he knew it was Dean. Listening to his brother's voice help ground him, taking a hold of that he got his breathing back under control. Seeing the worried look in the eyes of his now fully clothed sibling, Sam could tell that Dean was angry with himself for sending him into a panic mode. As Sam finally got himself calm down enough he heard his brother talking to him.

"Sammy, I'm sorry for scaring you like that, for running in here buck naked. I heard you screaming and came running to you, I didn't even think about getting anything on."

"It's—I—my mind went back—thought I—couldn't breath."

Sam couldn't get his mind to focus or think straight, as he tried to talk with Dean.

"Just calm down Sammy, take it nice and slow, that's it slow breaths in and out."

Seeing that his brother was calming down he felt shivers going through his body, knowing that it's not from the cold but he'd let his brother make the first move. From experience he knew what those are from, it would lead to an arm full of a little brother. As he expected his little brother needed the comfort from his big brother, he held on too Sam until he broke the contact.

Sitting back on the bed, Dean looked him over, he was a sight for sore eyes seeing how shaken he was. Knowing he would want a shower he got off the bed, he would make breakfast while his brother took a long hot shower.

"Take a shower Sammy and I will make breakfast."

"Dean, I'm sorry for hitting you and for, well you know."

"I know Sam, I can't help it if my gorgeous body made you panic, just jealous."

"Jerk."

"Bitch"

Sam chuckle as Dean walked out of the room to get breakfast going, getting out of bed he headed for the bathroom. Taking a hot shower help him relax more with his tense muscles, hearing a knock on the door he waited to see what his brother wanted. Hearing him saying not too put the gauze on until he look at the stitches, Sam answered him with how own cocky comment.

"Sam don't wrap your chest until I look at the stitches, want to make sure I didn't bust any of them."

"Awe Dean you want too look at my better gorgeous body now, how cute is that big brother."

Dean can hear the laugh in his brother voice as he walked away from the door; he had to get breakfast ready for them.

~~~SPN~~~

After they had their breakfast and all the dishes washed and cleaned up, Dean checked his brother's chest too make sure none of the stitches were torn out. Seeing that all of them were still in, he checked the wounds to make sure there was no infection, seeing them clean and healing nicely he let Sam put the gauze back on along with a t-shirt. Grabbing another cup of coffee, Dean and Sam headed out to the porch for some fresh air; enjoying the breeze that came off the lake they both set in comfortable silence.

Sam could tell that Dean wanted to talk about his nightmare and was waiting for him to make the first move, taking a deep breath gathering up his thoughts he ready himself for the talk. He was scared that his brother might leave him once when he found out, what he let happen to him while his time with Sinclair. 'Now it's the best time.' he told himself, 'He might as well know now rather than later'.

The talk will start here about what Sam went through.

"Dean, I have to talk to you about... about the nightmares... and what Sinclair did to me… or I should say what I let happen to me while-"

Sam was cut off by Dean speaking, letting him know that whatever Sinclair did to him, it was not his fault.

"Sammy, you didn't let anything happen to you, this isn't your fault, don't go blaming yourself for something you had no control over."

"Dean, I did let this happen to me. I could have fought it but I didn't, after you left me I was so angry, I wasn't thinking straight. That is, when he tried to touch me, telling me he had to look at his goods, I was too stunned to do anything about it at first. Until he started to move his hands, that is when I back away from him. I told him to leave me alone, that I was leaving, he told me that I wouldn't be leaving since the door was locked."

"The first few days he just wanted to talk about me and my life, but wouldn't answers his questions no matter how much he asked. I could tell that he was getting angry with me 'cause I wouldn't answer him, but told him that it was none of his business what my life was about. He just kept it up and getting closer to me were I was feeling uncomfortable, would back away from him and hide when I could just to have some alone time."

"That's when he would find me, telling me not to make him angry again by doing that, everyday he would press up against me and everyday I would hide from him. Then one day he got really angry with me and touched my head, I felt white-hot pain shot through my head before everything went white. When I woke up I was with Lucifer in the torture room in hell: he would cut, tear, pulled at me as he laugh at my pain. Or he would set me on fire to watch me burned alive as I screamed he would laugh, when it was over I was whole again for him to start all over. Every time I had these dreams it was worse with each one as I had them, from the rack, to hanging from the ceiling, too being caught on fire. The things he has done to me were worse then what I went through, Sinclair wanted me to suffer for not letting him touch me when he wanted."

As Sam talked about his dreams he had from Sinclair Dean wanted him to stop, seeing the hurt, haunted look in his brother's eyes hurt his soul. But this is what he wanted Sam to do, talk about what he went through, each word cut Dean deep as he listened to his brother's voice crack.

"Then I would feel hands rubbing against my body so softly and gentle, at first I thought it was you comforting me after the dreams. But the hands didn't have any warmth to them just a cold, like they were bloodless, and I didn't want any other hands touching me so I tried to move. My body wouldn't do what I wanted it to do, it was like I was tied down to a bed or like I was with Brian. No matter how hard I try to move I just couldn't do it, had to lay there and let those hands touch me without my consent."

"At first it was just rubbing me all over like he was checking me out, like I was some kind of possession that belonged to him. As the days went on he would take off my shirt and rub my bare chest, then he would go down to my waist and rub my groin with my pants on. Then he would take off my shirt and pants leave my boxers on, he would start to… to lick and roam my body like it was his to do as he pleased. He got rougher when he got to my groin area to get what he wanted, no matter how much pain he gave me, it didn't stop. When he got me naked that is when he started to have his way with me, he would...rub me to get...what he wanted...couldn't stop my body from doing what he wanted. Even took his fingers and… he put them... shoved hard...it hurt so bad I begged him too stop."

Dean watch as his brother fell apart as he talked about what happened to him and wanted to tell Sam to stop, seeing how difficult it was for him to speak of the abuse he had suffered. He could see that Sam wanted to keep talking to get it all out in the open. Dean moved his chair closer so he can give his brother the support he needed at the moment. He waited with a heavy, hurting heart and sad soul for his brother to finish.

"He finally got tired of me hiding from him he put me in the cage so I couldn't hide, he only left me with my boxers on when he locked me in. When he would enter the cage he would be naked himself, walking up to me with lust in his eyes like I was his sex toy. I tried to fight him each time he came too get what he wanted, sometimes it was two or three times a day. He would lay his hand on my body so I couldn't move a muscle, like the hold a Demon would use to keep you still. He started with the rubbing, licking all over my body, taking off my boxers he would...he would-mouth me… when he finish turned me around so-I tried to fight back Dean I swear I did...I just couldn't move when he entered. The pain was so intense I couldn't stop the screams when he—he had sex, made my body do things against my will. I felt so disgusted with myself, thinking when you found out about what happened, you would leave me behind hating me for letting that happen."

"During one of his sexual pleasures I saw you walking up too the cage, you gave me such a disgusted look for what I let happen to me. Shaking your head with so much hate in your eyes it crushed me, the words you said to me hurt me so much more then what he was giving me. You turned to leave telling me that you hated me for what I did...I tried to tell you... that I was sorry. But you didn't want to hear anything coming out of my mouth, told me to shut the hell up and take it like a man, not a child. Seeing the hate in your eyes broke me more then Sinclair did, I couldn't take it Dean, tried to get him off of me. I wanted you to hold me keep me safe from the pain...he wouldn't stop...kept it up...doing it harder...every time I would scream you laughed...God I wanted to die right there, Dean, I really did."

"I called to you to help me...you just stood there, didn't move...I begged...wanted you to help...but you laughed at my pain...I only wanted you to stop the pain...you never came, you just left me-"

Ends here.

Sam spoke through his sobs as he broke down in front of his brother, hiding his face in his hands so he didn't have to see the disgusted look in Dean's eyes. Hearing movement, he thought his brother was leaving him, which made Sam cry even harder he didn't look up didn't want to see his brother leave. What startled him was having two warm arms encircling him pulling him close, feeling warm hands on his back and the back of his neck. Feeling the love coming from his brother broke Sam even more, wrapping his arms around him in a death grip as he cried himself too sleep.

Dean had tears in his eyes hearing his brother talked about him being there, listening to what Sam has heard from him even though it was Sinclair magic or a shifter. Seeing his brother crying tore Dean apart in more ways then one, moving closer he took his brother into his arms holding him tight. Feeling arms wrapping around him in a death grip he rocked his brother, just holding him giving him the comfort he needed. He wasn't sure how long they been sitting on the porch with Sam nearly in his lap, he kept a tight hold until the sobs finally ended, hearing the hiccups he knew his brother would be down for the count. Only when he heard Sam's breathing even out he knew he had fallen asleep, with all the emotions, lack of sleep, crying tiring out his little brother. Lifting him into his arms he carried him back inside, placing him on his bed, taking off his shoes, he sat next to his brother while he slept.

~~~SPN~~~

As he came around from his sleep Sam, kept hearing a beating noise close to his ear, wondering were it was coming form he slowly open his eyes. Taking a look, he saw that he was in Dean's room at the cabin, feeling something warm and soft next too him he looked up to see Dean sleeping next too him. He was lying on his brother's broad chest with his ear over his heart, now he knows were the beating was coming from. Not wanting to wake his brother he laid there content to be in his arms, he felt safe were he was and didn't want to move just yet. Of course nature had to have it its way and Sam needed to answer its call, slowly he lifted himself as not to wake his older brother and failed.

Feeling movement from the bed the older brother open his eyes to see what was happening and saw Sam getting up gently, trying not to wake him he smile softly.

"Got to do a better job then that little brother, you move like an bull in a china shop."

"Very funny Dean, sorry to wake you, but I have to take a leak."

"TMI little brother, I didn't need to know that, while you're up why don't I make some lunch?"

Looking at his watch, Sam saw that it was one in the afternoon; he must have been more tired then he thought he was. Taking his leave, he headed for the bathroom to take care of his business, while his brother headed to the kitchen to make some lunch. Stepping out of the facilities, he saw that lunch was ready and sat across from Dean, having ham sandwiches, chips and a drink, after eating Sam clean up the dishes before walking to the couch. Sitting next to his brother he wonder how long it will be for him to leave, now hearing on what happen to him he probably didn't want to be near him.

Glancing over at Sam, Dean know what he was thinking right now in that head of his, knowing that his brother was going to leave him behind for what happen. Well he was going to bit that in the butt once and for all, there's no way he would ever leave his brother for any reason.

"Sam, I'm not going to leave you behind for what happened to you, so stop thinking that I will 'cause I won't. What he did to you wasn't your fault, Sammy, none of it was, if it's anyone fault it's mine 'cause I left you there."

"Dean, I should have been stronger then him, fought more to get away-"

Dean wasn't going to have Sam put the blame on himself.

"Stop right there Sammy, how could you fight him if he used his magic on you?" Watching his brother open his mouth but close it again, unable to think of an argument, Dean smiled secretly. "Exactly, you couldn't have stopped him if he had a hold on you, he didn't fight fairly. Don't go blaming yourself for what happened to you, little brother, Sinclair was a sick bastard and wish I hadn't beheaded him as quickly as I did. I should have tied him up before I looked for you so I could made him pay, for ever touching you and locking you up like an animal."

"Wish he was alive now so I can ripped him apart for even looking at you, would have gutted him and took my time doing it. He would learn the hard way for ever laying a hand on you, that goes for those Demons who are after you 'cause of me. I'm sorry I made you a target Sammy, I thought I was keeping you safe, now the only thing I did was getting you on a Demon hit list. One thing is for sure, they won't be getting near you while I am around, let them try and they will wish they never thought of that idea."

"I know you will try to keep me safe Dean from everything that goes bump in the night, you do know that we can't be together every moment of the day, right?"

"Maybe not but I sure can try to keep them at bay, letting them know you don't mess with my brother without feeling pain. I would rip them apart if they ever touch or try to harm you Sammy, I won't let that happen, no matter what."

"That is what I'm afraid of, Dean. You go in, shoot first ask questions later; don't think about your safety, only mine. Do you think I will ever let you go into a fight without backup? I know what I said hurt you back at the bunker. I wouldn't do the same thing you did Dean." Sam held his hand up to his brother. "Let me finish, I wouldn't do the same thing Dean, if you wanted to die. It would hurt like hell to see you go to the light, if that was something you wanted I would let you die in peace, Dean."

"Just don't make me have to decide on that too soon, okay? I still want you by my side as my brother not a partner. I was angry when I said all that stuff to you about Gadreel possessing me, wanted to hurt you for all the pain and betrayal I felt. Just know that I want you as my big brother and I love you for who you are Dean, so please don't make me make those choices anytime soon."

Dean could see that Sam meant everything he had just said it made him feel a little better, he still feels like he's a failure to his brother. Like no matter what he does will be good enough for him, yes he's still hurting for what Sam said to him at the bunker. Hearing Sammy now saying what he really meant didn't help, he still feels that Sam still has some resentment towards him.

"Sam, I can't promise you a lot of things about what's going to happen in the future, just know that while I'm still around nothing is going to hurt you again."

Seeing the truth in Dean's eyes, Sam knew that Dean meant every word he just said, feeling the same way as his brother is now he knew they both will be there for each other.

If they only knew that in a month that Dean would be killed my Metatron stabbing him in the chest, Sam seeing the blade going into as the Angel stood over his stricken brother. Yelling "NO!" as he ran to attack the Angel as he disappeared from the warehouse, leaving a brother dying and one trying to save his life. As Sam tried to get Dean some help he asked him a question, Sam answering that he lied about saving him. Stopping on Dean request he looked at his brother with tears in his eyes.

"I've got to tell you something."

"What?"

"I'm proud of us."

Was Dean's last word to his brother before he died in his arms, leaving a grieve stricken Sam crying on his shoulders. Laying Dean on his bed Sam stood over his dead body, leaving the room he went into the library to have a drink of whiskey. Entering the dungeon were Dean called for Crowley before he died, the younger brother tried to contact the Demon who let his brother go.

"If Crowley got you into this mess, he can get you out of this mess."

Waiting too see if the King of Hell would come to his summoning, seeing no response he went back to Dean's room with a heavy heart. When he got there the room was empty no big brother on bed, there's was a note on the bed saying "Sammy let me go" was all it said.