If I had my bike with me, I would've biked to the restaurant. I like to bike, even for long periods and on hard terrain. On ice, gravel, rocks, dirt, mud, sand, even water. Yep. Water. Anyways, Lilia has always gone to school on her bike as far back as I can remember. Since she moved in front of the Palace, she's always ridden her bike. Even on rainy days. How has she done it on snowy days? I wonder.

Anyways, the point is that she's never ridden the bus, and has never carpooled or been driven to school. And if I had by bike with me…I think you get the idea, so let's move on.

Anyways, I drove in TIV to meet her at Arnold's.

I stepped in and sat down at the third booth from the wall. The one in the middle. The same one I've sat at since the first time I went there when I was five.

At that moment, Al, the co-owner of the place showed up. The other owner is, well, Arnold. Obviously! They take weekly turns, see. Anyways, Al walked over to my booth. He's about 5'10". Has a huge nose. Thin eyebrows. Black hair. Gray eyes. Of Italian descent. "Well, Spiny, how are you? What would you like to have?" he asked, taking out a notepad and pencil.

I looked at my watch. It was 3:58 pm. Then, I changed to human form. I looked up to Al—I was sitting down and he was standing, see—and I said, "I'm waiting for someone. Could you wait ten minutes?"

"Oh, sure." Then, he walked to the booth behind me, taking orders.

While I waited I took my iPod Touch and played on a game you might have heard of: The Blockheads. I LOVE that game. It's so challenging. So much entertaining. Enjoyable.

I was in the process of crafting an armor bench for my Blockhead when I heard the door of the restaurant open.

You can't see the door from the booth. From where I sit anyway. I sat at the back wall booth section. The wall adjacent to the door has chairs and tables. And there is a counter also. Like a bar, except there's shakes and malts instead of tequila and beer.

Anyways, the point is I can't see the glass door from where I sit. Only the very top. So, I can't see who comes in unless it's a basketball player.

So I heard the door open. I turned to look and…had never such gorgeousness and loveliness in my whole life. The light reflected off her face in a dazzling way. I heard music in my mind. Slow, majestic romantic music.

I waved at her. She looked at me and smiled back. Oh my gosh! She was actually smiling! At me! My heart fluttered like a baby bird trying to fly.

Whoa! Where'd I pick up that phrase? I said to myself. To which my mind answered Who cares?! She's here. She walked up to my booth and sat across me. "Hi."

She had her hair in a headband. Sniff…hey...was that…I think she noticed it because she said, "Something wrong?" She seemed nervous.

"I smell…apricots!"

She got kind of jittery. "Oh, I'm sorry. It's my, my hair shampoo. I shouldn't have used it." Aha! That's why she was nervous when she noticed that I smelled it. I mean, I wasn't more than three feet away from her face.

Her soft-looking face, I thought. Those profound brown eyes. The long, chocolate-brown silky hair. The rosy cheeks. Her quivering lips. Her delicate hands.

Wait; hold it, stop, halt! I seemed to have, uh…made a complete dingbat of myself. Again. Anyways, uh, I noticed she got nervous. So I said, "Oh no! It's okay," I said, trying to reassure her. It smells…really pleasant, actually." I tried to put on my most friendly, charming smile.

Her cheeks turned pink. A perfect shade of pink. Exactly like a rose. Oh, I love to make her blush! She looks so cute. "Oh, thanks," she said, looking down. Then she looked up and blinked her eyes. "I like you hair shampoo smell, too. Watermelons, right?"

Oh no. Now, I was blushing. "Oh, yeah."

She smiled. Dang it, I got dizzy every time she smiled. "I like it."

"Thanks."

I was so concentrated in looking into her eyes so deep that I could see my reflection, that when Al came to take our order, I just about had a heart attack! And it didn't help that Al is, well, homely.

So anyways we ordered. I kept my promise, and like a gentleman, I paid for both.

Another FYI here. Here in Amarkia, we make our own version fast foods. We've found out a long time ago how to make fast foods as healthy as onion, lettuce, and apples, but without taking away the great flavor.

Our French fries, for example, have no carbohydrates, no fat, no cholesterol, low sodium, 6 calories, no oils, but also 53% Vitamin D, 86% Vitamin A, and 61% Vitamin C. And the ingredients are made the same day they are ordered. So, if you order a hamburger, you can bet that the cow was killed that same day. Oh, and livestock are free from hormones and antibiotics. And they eat their natural food.

But I won't tell you how we do it. Sorry, but that's classified.

Anyways, even though I paid for us both, Lilia insisted on paying the tip. This was about $1.25. I finally let her, but only on the condition that I would buy her five $0.25 gumballs.

Of course, she laughed. I love it when she laughs. It sounds so perfect and harmonious.

While we waited for our order to be ready, I decided to start conversation with the Girl of My Dreams. "So, how was your day?"

"Oh, the usual. Somebody put a garden snake in the Principal's desk."

I burst out laughing. "No, really?"

"And Kylie tripped down some stairs looking at herself in her purse mirror." She seemed to be holding back laughter. Have I mentioned that Kylie and Lilia detest each other? And when one suffers some misfortune…hee hee…the other one….ha ha ha…makes fun of her?

"Guess she had it coming, huh?" I said, not being able to hold back my own laughter. She nodded and laughed too.

Al arrived with our food. "Ah, here we are," he said setting down our plates and beverages. "That all?"

"Yeah, that's all," I said.

"Thanks, Al," said my princess…I mean, uh, Lilia. You didn't hear me call her My Little Princess so don't go making fun of me, cause you have no reason to…wait a second, did I just…yeah, I did…forget it.

I resumed our conversation. "Did you have soccer practice today?"

She shook her head. "No, not today. We, uh, had slight delays. All the girls went to the mall to buy last-minute dresses and making last-minute appointments at the beauty salon for the dance. You know how it is?"

I chuckled at that. "Believe me, I know. Kathy's driving me crazy for not letting her buy more make-up. And Patty's angry I won't take her to buy new dresses. She barely got one three weeks ago."

Well, anyways, I don't remember the rest, but I do remember that it was wonderful. Nostalgic. Unforgettable. And I also forgot the time. When I looked at my watch it was almost five thirty.

I drove her home, with her bike in the back. She'd never seen the inside of TIV before, so I gave her the tour speech I gave you in the first story.

Well, I stopped in front of the Palace Gates, carried her books in one hand, and, uh, escorted her across the street. Yes, it's a quiet street, and the speed limit is 20 mph. But still, you never know when some maniac will come speeding down the two-lane backstreet running at 60.

Okay. So maybe I held her hand. Well, actually, I just put my hand on her back, gently pushing her, just in case some maniac came, I'd be able to push her off the road. But it was enough to send static electricity all through my arm and my backbone.

When we got to the front door, she looked at me and smiled. "Thanks. For everything. I really enjoyed myself."

"Sure. I enjoyed your company."

We stood there quiet for a long time.

Don't just stand there like a dumb-bunny! I heard…Larry's voice?! Huh?

Larry? I answered in my mind.

No, it's Miley Cyrus. Of course it's me!

How are you…how can you…

Later, later. Ask her to the dance.

My response was quick. "Did you get a date for the school dance?"

"No. Just about every guy has asked me. But…" she looked down and blushed. "I guess I'm just waiting for the right guy."

Now was the time! I took a deep breath and calmed my raging nerves. "Do you want to go with me?" There, I said it.

Her eyes lit up and her face beamed like the sun. "I'd love to!" she said enthusiastically.

Yes! "All right. I'll pick you next Friday at seven"

"Okay."

Now what?! Should I shake her hand? Hug her? Kiss her? What? I wanted so badly to caress her check and put her head on my shoulder.

Almost without realizing, I grabbed her hand gently and slowly, and then just held it there.

We looked into each other's eyes and I could feel myself pulling towards her. I couldn't control it. It was like a dream. I was inches away from her face. I was so close I could feel her breath. I was so close to her that when the wind blew from behind her, her hair touched my cheek. Our lips were millimeters from each other.

"Spiny!"

HUH?

I heard a voice yell. "Spiny!" There it was again. I turned to look, and sure enough, I saw Larry through the Palace Gates, waving and jumping and hollering and making a complete idiot of himself and a fool of me.

Oh, drat!

I quickly pulled away from Lilia. "I have to go," I said quickly. My face felt hot. I was sweating a torrent of…sweat. Obviously. I was blushing so hard that I think that the artery in the middle of my forehead was showing.

Lilia's face had also turned deep red. Or should I say, beet reed. "Yeah. Sure. And, thanks. For everything." What happened next was unexpected. She hugged me. That's right. Threw her arms around me and pulled me in a quick, yet warm embrace.

Felt like the time Larry tricked me into sticking my finger in the wall outlet and he raised the voltage by 15 times.

I shuddered. I'd never been hugged by a girl before. Outside my family.

Then, she quickly grabbed her books and ran inside her house.

I walked back across the street and to the Palace. I felt….I don't know. Different, you could, say. It felt nice. Warm. Soothing.

Once inside the gates, and walked up to Larry. "What is it, Larry?"

He gave me a blank stare. "What's what?"

"Didn't you yell at me to get over here?"

"When?"

"A few seconds ago."

"I did?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Right now, you tuna!"

"What was the question?"

I let the air hiss out of my lungs and tried to control myself. Didn't work. "Listen, you pipsqueak, if you don't tell me the reason for why you interrupted a possible romantic moment with my True Love, I'm going to use your carcass as a basketball and make a slam dunk right into a live volcano!"

He tilted his head. "Oh, yeah! Come on down the the lab!"

Well, I followed hum downstairs through secret stairways and passageways.

Once inside, we walked over to the door on the east wall which said Spy Room in platinum letters.

We went inside and he walked over to a dark corner.

He turned on the lights. The walls were lined with weapons, gadgets, and other stuff. There were also large computer screens on the wall, showing maps of Amarkia, of the world, of the solar system, the Milky Way, the universe, and even of parallel universes.

Cool, huh?

Anyways, we walked over to an empty corner in the back. Then, he showed me a…huh?

"Well?" he said.

It was one of those large vans. Not a minivan or an SUV, just a regular, white van. Like those, white, rectangular ones kidnappers and terrorists use. Except this one wasn't white. It was blue with orange-and-yellow flames. No windows on the sides, except the passenger and driver seat windows. And the windshield, logically.

"I call it Bella," said Larry.

I gave him a wooden stare. "Bella? You named a non-living, over-sized van Bella?"

"Sure did."

"Are you sure you didn't mean, Great Spy Vehicle? GSV?"

"Nope. Just Bella."

I looked at, uh, Bella all over and checked it, her, it, whatever. I checked out the vehicle. "It's, um, wow, really something."

"You ain't seen the best part." He opened the back doors, stepped inside, and told me to join him.

I went in after him and….wow! I've seen spy cars before but this was…whistle! I'd never seen so many buttons and gadgets and levers and wires.

"Cool, huh?"

Took me a while to find my voice. I nodded. "Yeah, it's astonishing!"

"It's got everything. Time-travel, teleport, flight, stealth mode, you name it."

He continued saying that there was just about every kind of weapon you could imagine.

Laser-guns, built-in cannon, hooks and anchors for swinging, razor-sharp flying discs to disable enemy vehicles, robotic legs, a force field, an impact shield, jet rockets in the back, you name it.

And the tires could be instantly changed to go over dirt, mud, ice, water, quicksand, debris, acid, even lava, and uh…blood. Don't ask. The stories about my life won't all be roses and butterflies.

Some will truly scare the living daylights out of you. So if you wet the bed, don't blame me. And some stories will really be tragic and they'll make you cry hard. So hard that your eyeballs will dry up and you'll get the hiccups for two months.

Just fair warning, but how the heck did I get off subject again? This is really embarrassing. It's barely my second story and I can't even…

Wait! I got it. We were looking at Larry's new spy car. Vehicle. Whatever.

Really nice, by the way. Great piece of machinery.

Something caught my attention. We were inside, looking at all the cool, glowing buttons, when I saw one that got my attention. Huh. This one didn't have the picture of a bomb or a laser. It had a…laughing face?

"What's this one do?" I asked Larry.

"What do you think it does?"

"Um, shoots out laughing gas?"

He shook his head.

"Tickles you to death?"

"Nope."

"Makes you laugh and laugh until you die of asphyxiation?"

He shook his head again.

"Then what is it for?"

"Well, push it and find out."

I didn't like the way he was grinning, nor the way his beady little eyes were flashing.

Was this another practical joke? A childish prank?

Like I've said, I've been the victim of many childish pranks. I'm not only King of Amarkia; I'm also King of Prank Victims. Unofficially. And ninety-six percent of all the childish pranks played on me were credited to Larry.

The point is, Larry is a big practical joker. The Dinosaur Joke Machine. Like the time he put plastic wrap on the toilet seat. Or the time he put a stink-bomb in my desk. Or when he put salt in my coffee instead of sugar. Or when…I think you get the idea. But you see my point.

On the other hand, Larry is my best friend. We're like brothers. He's loyal. Fiercely loyal. He's never let me down and he's always there when I need him.

He's done so many good things for me, that I could never repay him. And he's taught me lots of cool and important things.

So, I figured He won't do anything to hurt me. I'll just press the silly button.

So, I did and...you know all the stuff I've just said about Larry being a good guy? Well, it's all nothing but garbage. Nothing but baloney! Nothing but rubbish!

You know that the "silly button" did?

Off all the backstabbing, double-crossing, cheating, two-bit, good-for-nothing, two-faced, pea-brained, empty-headed IMPRACTICAL jokes!

I'll only tell you what happened if you promise not to laugh laugh. You cannot laugh. It was not funny, and no, it was not hilarious, either.

It was stupid, that's what! That's the nicest way of putting it.

So, I pressed the button and, from nowhere, and I mean, out of thin air, something big and red and rubbery appeared and KA-POW! The over-sized glove socked me right on the nose!

One millisecond after impact I dropped to the ground like a wet towel on tile floor.

All at once I saw stars and checkerboards and pink elephants with umbrellas. I even heard birds chirping and cuckoo clocks!

I also heard…laughing? I traced it back to…aha! Yes it was…Mr. Sneaky. Mr. Wannabe-Comedian. He was rolling on the floor, laughing so hard I'd thought he'd cough up his liver.

As soon as my head cleared, I jumped him. I mean, I just nailed him! (I changed to dinosaur form.)

We had a good tussle. First, I bit him on the back, and then he bit me on the lower jaw. I pulled his tail and he pulled my sail. I scratched his belly and he scratched my leg.

That's when I heard the door opening. We spinosaurs have excellent hearing and I could hear the front door opening. Well, it was actually the Palace Gates. We both heard it.

As quick as mice, we went flying out of the spy room and the lab, raced upstairs and made ourselves presentable for my family.

If they found out about the…only disaster would strike and…just don't say anything to anybody.