"What do you mean you broke it off?" Hanji screeches, way too loud for the mess hall.
"Exactly that," Levi says, "I broke it off."
"But what about the expedition?"
"What about the expedition?"
"You can't leave the guy all mopey and sad just days before the expedition! You can't be mopey and sad just days before the expedition!"
"Our relationship didn't interfere professionally," Levi states.
Hanji groans and slaps her hands down on the table, "You are fucking infuriating."
Levi shrugs and continues to eat while Hanji rants on for a few more minutes. Usually it's just best to let her run her mouth and say what she wants to say.
And then he enters the room.
Suddenly, nothing Hanji says matters. Nothing anybody could say matters, because his Alpha is in the room and he smells so freaking good. All Levi wants to do is run up to and cling to his body, and it takes every single muscle to stay restrained and seated.
"Are you even listening to me?" Hanji asks, waving a hand in front of his face.
"No," Levi answers while his eyes are still firmly fixed on Erwin.
Hanji follows the trajectory of his eyesight and lurches when she sees Erwin. "See! You still love him, I know you do."
"Never said I love him," Levi mutters, finally tearing his eyes away from his former Alpha's body. "Can we please stop talking about this now? We were together and now we're not, so you're just going to have to deal with it."
"Fine," Hanji mutters.
Levi continues to keep his head down, refusing to glance at Erwin's body again. Despite that, every nerve on his body feels like it's on fire. He listens politely to Hanji's ramble on about her plans for titan exploration at the next expedition, but nothing can distract him from the scent of his former Alpha that slowly wafts through the hall.
"Are you okay?" Erwin asks one day after a meeting with the Survey Corps leaders.
Levi's eyes narrow in caution. "Are you asking as my Commander, or as an Alpha?"
"Your Commander," Erwin answers, "but also your friend."
"Friend? Really? Don't give me that shit, Erwin," Levi scoffs. "I can take care of myself, I don't need an Alpha hovering over me twenty-four-seven. I'm fine."
Something snaps inside of Erwin, and Levi can see it reflected in his expression. There's a hint of hurt and pain, but also a mask of indifference that Levi knows all too well. "Okay, if you want it that way then I'll continue this conversation in a strictly profession context."
The dismissive and formal delivery of Erwin's words is like a punch to Levi's gut. It's like all the warmth from his body has been sucked out and his heart has turned to ice. Erwin's scent is no longer comforting; it's dark and sickening, making Levi want to empty the contents of his stomach in disgust.
"Squad Leader Hanji came to me with concerns that you were not fit to go on this expedition, and I reassured her that I would look into it. I need my Captain undistracted and ready to go. Are you ready to go, Captain Levi?" Erwin asks, and it takes all of Levi's strength not to fall onto his knees and sob.
"Yes," Levi grits.
"Good. Dismissed."
He can't run from the room fast enough.
Levi doesn't sleep on the eve of the expedition.
He usually forces himself to sleep before an expedition, but this time he decides not to. Because if he falls asleep, he'll dream of Erwin, and he can't get distracted. When you're outside the walls, being distracted will almost inevitably be your downfall.
He ends up spending most of the night on the roof, watching and waiting for the sun to rise.
There's a lot of celebratory cheering once they reach Walden. Levi watches as the young recruits wave the flags of the Survey Corps and pin them on the highest towers of the town for all to see.
"Form a perimeter around the town," Erwin yells after he allows his soldiers a couple minutes of victory. "Support crew, start forming the base."
Levi moves with his Squad to form his part of the perimeter that faces Wall Maria. It's the most dangerous position, with continued titan onslaught predicted to come from that direction.
He can already see the swarm of titans in the distance.
"How far away, Mike?" Levi yells to his right, where Mike's squad is positioned.
"500 meters," Mike replies, nose twitching, "I estimate 5 minutes until they reach base."
Levi can see Erwin talk to the leaders of the support squads out of the corner of his eye. He was hoping to avoid any interaction with Erwin, but protocol dictates that Levi has to ask the Commander to engage in any unplanned manoeuvres, so he forces himself to walk up to the man.
"Erwin," Levi says, "There's a group of titans 5 minutes away. Permission to engage?"
Erwin looks briefly to the titans in question and then back to Levi. "Granted. Make it quick."
"Of course," Levi mutters, readying his blades.
But nobody predicts the thick layer of fog that rolls over the area.
Erwin knows he's made a mistake the second he sees the red flare goes up.
"Mike!" Erwin yells. "What's going on?"
"The Levi squad was doing fine, no casualties or injuries, and then the fog came and we lost sight." Mike explains, his voice strained with anxiety. "We haven't seen them for a couple of minutes."
Erwin's heart leaps into his throat. It's hard enough to kill titans out in the open air, but to kill titan in fog? It's almost impossible. And Levi is right in the thick of it.
Any other squad - any other person - and he would be able to respond quickly with a plan, but at this exact moment, his limbs are frozen and his mind is confused
There's no way he can make it out of this alive.
No way.
"Erwin! Your orders?!" Mike yells.
He has to respond. But what could he respond with? He can send Mike in there for back up, in hopes that he can save what little probably remains of Squad Levi, but he would also be sentencing his second best squad to death. And right now, the base needs to be protected.
"Give me a moment, Mike," Erwin replies, glare fixed on the fog that has engulfed his best squad and his former Omega.
He knows what his heart wants, but his head knows that something completely different is necessary.
"Mike Squad, ride to the outside perimeter of the fog and engage in any titans that emerge. Do not go into the fog." Erwin orders, while a dark grimace engulfs his face.
"Erwin, I can go in-,"
"That's an order, Mike. Do it."
He can hear the screams erupt from the fog. He can smell the fear, anguish and pain. His fingers grip onto his horse's rein tightly. His breathing stops.
He can feel his entire world slowly give out underneath him.
And then a body emerges.