Disclaimer: I don't own CCS, Clamp does. But I do own this story.
Okay so I got a bit of spare time to put up another chapter today. Enjoy!
Chapter Six
"The Lullaby"
Sakura slammed the door shut and leaned her back on it, breathing heavily with a hand over her racing heart. She could feel tears starting to well up in her eyes, tears she's been trying so hard to hold in from the first time in five years her eyes laid on Syaoran in the theme park. She couldn't hold it in anymore when they were in the restaurant, and it feels like she couldn't hold it in again anymore now.
"Sakura?"
Her eyes snapped back down from her gaze on the ceiling.
"Yeah?" she asked, thankful her tears didn't escape her lids.
"Are you okay?" Shizuki asked with knitted brows in worry for the woman who looked like she was about to break down.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she reassured, trying to calm herself. "I just ran back in so I wouldn't get caught in the rain that's all," she lied, which perfectly explains her short and shallow breathing.
Shizuki looked at her, not convinced, he knew this woman for five years now after all, but decided to let it go.
"Anyway, I better get going. I have to go back to the hospital. The family of one of my patients has been asking for me since noon."
Sakura smiled at the man and bowed her head lightly at him. "I'm sorry for taking you from your work for the whole afternoon."
"Are you kidding? I haven't had this much fun for a while now. I mean, I would never have met Li if I had been stuck in the hospital all day," he said with a grin.
With a small smile, Sakura kept silent, not knowing what to make of his statement.
"Sakura, are you really okay?"
She nodded with a sure look on her face. "Yeah, I am. I'll see you again tomorrow for Mei Hua?"
Frowning slightly at her change of subject, he sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Like I said earlier in the car, be there by 8 o'clock, or 9 o'clock at most. I've already just contacted my other colleagues."
"Alright, thank you again Shizuki. And here," Sakura pulled out one of the large umbrellas from the rack just beside the front door. "It's raining cats and dogs out there."
"Thanks. See you girls tomorrow!"
Lightly closing the door behind him, Sakura sighed yet again, feeling uneasy and slightly guilty.
She really didn't want to let the boys spend more time with Syaoran, it would ruin everything, but she can't deny him or the boys' time with each other either.
Sakura knows Syaoran isn't stupid. He must've already figured out that Xiao Tian and Xiao Hai really were indeed his and Sakura's children from the minute he saw her earlier. But she still held on to that tiny hope that he would just go along his way without bothering her or the boys ever again. And personally, she didn't at all want to face him ever again if she could help it, which is why she specifically told him to pick the boys up tomorrow when she was sure she was out of the house herself.
Scratching her head lightly, Sakura couldn't believe this sudden turn of events. She's been living quite peacefully over the last five years. Well, she's not living in luxury like he was, but she's getting by with her children at a normal pace and she was already contented with that. So, why is this all happening now?
"Oh Kami-sama, help me," she whispered, resting her forehead on the front door.
"Syaoran?"
At the sound of his name, Syaoran snapped out of the trance of his own thoughts, only to be met by a lot of worried looks directed at him.
"Yeah?" he said, still a bit absentminded.
Erika looked at him, concerned before turning to everyone inside the room. "Can we reschedule this?" she asked the group with an apologetic smile.
The two women and three men nodded at her and proceeded to pack their equipment. They'd rather do the interview on another day than do it now when their main subject seemed out of it.
"I'm so sorry," Erika told them with a bow as they made their way towards the door of the hotel suite.
Sighing, she went back to the lounge where Syaoran sat, his look deep in thought yet again for that night.
"Syaoran?"
"Huh?" he said, sounding lost. "Where is everyone?" he asked, slightly shocked that the reporter and camera man and their assistants were gone.
"They already left, I'm rescheduling the interview," she replied, her brows knitted together in worry. "Are you alright?"
Exhaling a long breath, he stood up and stretched his long arms up in the air. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?" he said casually.
"You've had this very thoughtful and preoccupied look on your face ever since you got back here. Why? Did something happen when you went out?"
Syaoran shook his head and flashed a reassuring smile. "Nothing. I'm just a little tired from everything that happened today, that's all. I'm going to bed."
Without another word, and not waiting for her to say another word, Syaoran quickly made his way towards the large master bedroom on to one side of the lounge.
Erika sighed, watching his retreating form until the door closed behind him. "Something's wrong," she concluded surely.
"Hey mom! Mom!"
Sakura looked back as her boys ran through the kitchen door with big smiles on their faces. They were clearly excited for the day's activities.
"What do you think?" they asked in unison as they posed about in their matching outfits of white sneakers, light denim blue jeans and striped polo shirts. Their hair was even combed down. At least, as combed down as they could manage to make it.
"Both of you look positively handsome," she said with a grin before pulling them into hugs. "You two are too cute!"
"Mommm…" they both complained, trying to push her away.
"We don't want 'cute'…"
"…we're trying to look cool!"
Sakura merely laughed at them and nodded. "Yes, yes, you look cool too," she said, earning a grin from the boys. "Now, come on, eat your breakfast. Mei Hua and I have to leave in a while."
Mei Hua, who was sitting silently on her seat at the dining table, smiled as her mother looked over towards her before turning to her brothers. "Have fun today, Syaoian, Syaoai," she said in gentle sincerity.
The twin boys looked at her with identical grins, which slowly started to fade.
"I wish you could come with us…"
"…yeah, we haven't spent time together lately."
"Don't worry, we can play together tonight!" she assured them with a big smile upon her face.
"I hope so, but what if you fall asleep early again?"
"Just like last night?"
Mei Hua shook her head. "I'll stay up with you tonight for sure!"
Xiao Tian and Xiao Hai grinned at each other before winking at their little sister, making her blush a little and giggle.
"Now, what were you three talking about?" Sakura asked, seeing the smiles on all her children.
"Nothing!" all three of them replied when their mother started placing their meals in front of them.
"With you three? It's never nothing," she pointed out.
The children remained in silence at this, instead closed their eyes in individual prayers before digging in their breakfast.
Sakura watched them, a smile never leaving her face. This is her family, and she liked it just the way it was. Just watching her kids eating their meals, playing with them during her free time, reading them stories and singing to them songs at night. This has been her life for the past five years, and she never complained. Even if it was a burden, she still enjoyed it and she loved every minute of it nonetheless. She can't even imagine if anything were to change from this life of hers.
Thinking about change only made her smile slowly fade. She knew it was inevitable, especially now that she's met with Syaoran again. But she had already decided to herself yesterday that she won't let him change anything, which was why she played dumb yesterday as if she had only met him for the first time. If he believed her little act, she was hoping he'd just leave them alone as soon as he was done with whatever he was doing here in Japan. She didn't go through all the trouble of not letting the kids watch TV or video games or restricting them from certain places all these years for nothing after all. She did all that so if in case Syaoran's pictures or posters would get posted somewhere, they wouldn't see it and would never question their resemblance.
"Mom?"
Sakura shook her head and was met with three pairs of eyes, two pairs of familiar amber and a pair of just as familiar emeralds.
"Yes?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, why do you ask?"
"You're not eating…"
"…and you look kind of…"
"…lost," Mei Hua finished for her brothers, making the male pair nod.
"I was just thinking that's all," she assured before putting a bright smile on her face. "Shall we go Mei Hua? The sooner we go, the sooner we finish, and the sooner we get back, the sooner you can play with your brothers."
Mei Hua smiled at this and nodded enthusiastically.
Looking up from her morning paper, Erika looked over at Syaoran as he headed out of the door to his room.
"Are you going somewhere?" she asked, noting his attire.
Syaoran nodded in her direction before turning to the decorative mirror in the lounge and positioning his gray Fedora hat on his hopelessly messy hair. Clad in a white wife beater underneath a short-sleeved gray button-down shirt that he left open and unbuttoned, dark denim jeans and gray leather shoes, he was ready to go on his first official father-son outing with his boys.
"Where are you going?" Erika pressed, seeing as she didn't get a verbal answer to her last question.
"Out," he replied vaguely, before positioning a pair of dark aviators on his nose, totally blocking his amber eyes.
Sighing somewhat irately, Erika folded her paper and set it on the breakfast table and walked over to him. "You're not seeing some girl are you?" she asked, a hint of jealousy in her voice. He had just agreed yesterday that he would give their relationship a chance and now, he was out and about looking very handsome and she didn't know where he was going and with who.
Syaoran raised a brow at her. "Of course not," he answered truthfully. "You know I don't have any interest in the female population," he reminded her.
"Good! Because you already agreed just yesterday about us."
Totally forgetting such a conversation, Syaoran mentally cursed. "Err…you don't mind that I go out do you?" he asked, unsure if he even had to ask her in the first place. He's always been used to doing whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.
Seeing his effort, Erika can't help but grin. "No," she said, shaking her head. "As long as you don't go out with some girl."
"Yeah?" he answered into his cell. "No, he told me he wanted some privacy today…Huh? But…Hmm…well, if you're sure…yeah, okay."
Joe slowly got up from his seat with a sigh.
The three men around him looked up at him as he started to leave.
"Hey, where are you going? We're far from finished. We only just started!" one of the men still situated at the poker table called.
"I'll be back, I just have to check something out!" he called back from the doorway to the hotel room. "And don't touch my chips! I already counted them!"
"He's here!" the twin boys exclaimed when the door bell rang.
Jumping off the couch, they dashed straight to the front door.
"Don't run too fast! You might trip!" Mona called out although they were out of her sight.
Whistling to himself, Syaoran was in a jolly mood. He waited outside his sons' home, playing with the identical and smaller white Fedora hats with his hands.
"Hey!" he greeted with a grin matching the twins'. "Here."
Holding up their small hands, they took the hats from him and placed it securely on their heads.
"Thanks!" they exclaimed before making their way down the stone path towards the small front gate. "Let's go!"
Syaoran watched them but stayed in his place. "What about your mother? Isn't she sending you off or something? No goodbye kisses?"
"No, she already left hours ago…"
"…she's out with Mei Hua."
Blood started to boil within him yet again, but Syaoran held a cool expression on his face. "She left you two alone in the house by yourselves?" he asked, trying to restrain himself from throwing the large rock on the ground through one of the house's windows.
"Mona is inside…"
"…but she's not coming."
Knowing this, he willed himself to relax. And he did…with much effort.
"Alright, c'mon you two," he said, walking pass them and opening the gate.
Now he's even more determined to show the boys a really good time. He's going to make them wish they lived with Syaoran instead of Sakura and he's going to make sure that brat of hers and that man from yesterday, will be so jealous of the boys, she's going to whine and complain to her mother and her father about life being so unfair that she doesn't have the stuff he'll shower the boys in before the day is even out.
"Where's the limo?"
Syaoran smiled at the twins before pointing towards a silver convertible Mercedes Benz across the street that already had its top down.
"Is that yours?" they asked, getting excited.
"I thought it would be better and…less obvious if we rode that instead of a limo. We wouldn't want attention now would we?"
"How are you feeling?" Sakura asked lovingly, as she took her daughter's hand and played with her tiny fingers.
Mei Hua smiled up at her mother. "I'm fine. How are you feeling?"
Sakura can't help but laugh, and Mei Hua giggled as she did.
"Sakura? Mei Hua?"
The two girls turned to the door as Shizuki stepped inside the white room they were currently waiting in with Mei Hua resting on the table in the middle and Sakura on a stool beside her.
With a smile on his face, Shizuki set the chart aside and sat on the chair on the other side of Mei Hua, opposite Sakura.
"How is it?" Sakura asked, can't help but have a smile on her face as well after seeing the man's positive features.
"It all looks alright. In our perspective anyway," he said, pointing to the mirror behind him.
The two girls looked over at the mirror and waved, knowing there would be a group of other doctors and specialists on the other side that were watching them.
"So she won't…" trailing off, Sakura glanced at Mei Hua before turning back to Shizuki, "…you know."
Shizuki shook his head. "We think not, just make sure she doesn't get a lot of negative emotional strain."
Sakura nodded at this in understanding. She was confident that her daughter won't get any negative strain at all. In fact, she was quite sure she would get more positive emotional strain from her brothers. They always did have fun together
Taking a lollipop out of the front pocket of his white lab gown, Shizuki handed it to Mei Hua with an apologetic smile on his face. "Sorry for stealing another day from you Mei Hua."
Mei Hua shook her head and took the lollipop from the doctor with a shy smile. "It's okay, especially if you keep giving me candy," she said with a little giggle before unwrapping it and popping it inside her mouth.
"Hello? Yeah, it's me. I don't know what you're getting worried about. He's just gotten out of the zoo with those twin boys from before…yeah…no, it's just the three of them…sure…no, I'm heading back to the hotel. Don't worry too much…alright," shaking his head, Joe pocketed his cell on the front pocket of his shirt.
Starting the engine to his car, he took one last glance at Syaoran and the two little boys before making his way out the zoo parking lot and onto the main road.
'I don't get why Erika's being paranoid and crazy jealous over two boys,' he thought, exasperated at the hassle the woman just brought upon him. When she called him earlier, she made him think like Syaoran's going to be in trouble, when clearly he's just enjoying the nice day out with two kids.
Looking at the rear-view mirror of the car, he checked the grinning faces of the twins.
"You two alright back there?" he asked in an amused tone.
"Yeah!" they exclaimed with laughter in their voice.
Syaoran turned to them and can't help but laugh at the scene as well. The back passenger seats of the car was full of stuffed animals from the ground up, just ending enough to show the twins' heads amongst the heads of the animals.
"How are we going to fit all of this in our room?" Xiao Hai asked his brother.
Xiao Tian merely laughed before poking his brother with the protruding tongue of a stuffed anteater.
The two laughed as they began playfully hitting each other with the stuffed animals Syaoran bought them, which was one of everything they had found in the zoo. If the zoo had stuffed versions of every animal they had, they were sure they wouldn't have much space left in the car.
"To the park?" Syaoran asked from the front before backing up his car from the space they parked earlier that morning. They already had their lunch inside the zoo and it was already nearing 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
"Mommy?"
Sakura looked away from the ring of keys on her hands and down to her daughter.
"Yes, hon?"
"I think the ice cream's melted," Mei Hua pointed out after surveying the contents of the plastic bag in her hands.
"Don't worry, I'm sure it's not that melted. We'll put them in the freezer before we eat them," Sakura replied with a smile before putting in the right key into the keyhole of the front door. "Xiao Tian! Xiao Hai!" Setting her shoes to the side, Sakura peeked down the hallway before helping Mei Hua out of her shoes and coat. "Your brothers aren't here yet."
"It's still early anyways. I'll play with my dolls until they get here. And I can always eat the ice cream later. It's okay."
Sakura smiled at her sweet daughter before rumpling her hair which was identical in color to hers, only Mei Hua's was shorter.
"Okay, c'mon. Let's go to the kitchen and put these away first. I'm pretty sure Mona went home right after your brothers left."
"How are we going to get all this stuff inside the house?"
Syaoran looked back at the twins, grinning. He didn't have a clue. He went slightly overboard with buying Xiao Tian and Xiao Hai almost everything he could get his hands on that would befit five year olds, he didn't even consider the amount of space they have inside that small house they live in with Sakura.
"Just take as much as you can and we'll make a couple of trips until we get all the stuff in your room. How's that sound?"
With identical grins, the two boys nodded before opening the car doors, sending a few of the stuffed animals to the ground. Grabbing two stuffed animals each, the twins trotted into the gate and up to the front door of their house, then looked at each other.
"I can't knock."
"Neither can I."
The two looked back to find Syaoran almost covered from the waist up with a large load of stuffed animals and they laughed.
"What are you two laughing at?"
"You look funny!" they replied, pointing with their lips towards the stuffed giraffe whose head was hanging between his legs, the stuffed snake twisted around his neck and all the other eight or so stuffed animals he was able to carry.
"Yeah, yeah, brats!" he said with a smile before knocking the door with the end of his leather shoes. "Let's hope your mother's already home," he added, sounding a bit annoyed. If Sakura wasn't home, he was sure he'll really throw a rock through the window.
A minute later, no one had still answered the door and a frown was slowly setting into Syaoran's features. He rammed the end of his shoe to the foot of the door again and a little more loudly.
"Sakura!" he called out. "Open up!"
Still nothing.
"Sakura! Are you in there? SAKU-!"
Before he can finish calling out her name, the front door swung open.
"What the devil is going o-" the disheveled looking woman in front of him looked up at him then down to her boys, the frown on her face giving way to a small smile. "About time you boys came home," she said, directing to the twins.
"Sorry mom!"
"We got held up…"
"…we stopped by the mall…"
"…after we visited the zoo and the park!"
Sakura nodded and let the boys through, then looked up at the much taller man still standing outside.
"Are you letting me in or what?" Syaoran said, trying not to sound so rude.
"O-Of course," Sakura said, leading him to the living room. "Uhm…what's with all the animals?" she asked, picking up what looked to be a stuffed porcupine.
"A gift, for the boys," he said, clearly emphasizing that all of it were solely for the boys. He didn't know if Sakura got it, but if she did, she didn't show it.
"You didn't have to buy them anything. But, thank you," she said with a bow. "And thank you for taking them out today, especially since I've already had plans with Mei Hua."
Sakura clearly saw his jaw tighten at the mention of her daughter, although she didn't know why. Syaoran merely nodded stiffly at her, without saying a word.
"Mom! Mom! Mom!"
The two adults turned to the twins running down the hallway towards them.
"We still have a lot of stuff in the car…"
"…can you help us bring them in?"
Sakura whipped her head back to Syaoran with an inquiring look on her face. The man merely smirked at her and shrugged his shoulders.
By the time they were finished with unloading all the new toys form Syaoran's car, almost an hour had already passed. The boys were excited to use everything single thing Syaoran bought them, Sakura was dead tired from all the lifting she did, and Syaoran was simply happy just watching the boys' happy faces.
"This is really too much," Sakura said, looking at the load of things scattered on the floor. Syaoran didn't only shower them with stuffed animals, he also bought story books, toy cars and robots, video games, new clothes and new shoes.
"There's no such thing as too much for my boys," Syaoran replied from the couch opposite where she sat in the living room.
Sakura looked at him. 'He really does know,' she thought, slightly panicking now. "I-"
"Mom?"
Thanking God for the timely interruption, Sakura turned to Xiao Tian.
"What is it Syaoian?"
"Mei Hua says she wants to sleep," he said, sounding slightly miserable. "She says she's already tired, even if Syaoai told her that we still wanted to play with her with all our new toys."
Sakura smiled gently at him and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Your sister's had a pretty tiring day with me. She doesn't have as much energy like you and your brother. Don't worry, she'll play with you tomorrow, okay?"
Xiao Tian nodded at this, putting a small smile on his face. "Syaoai is in her room, trying to sing to her. But Mei Hua says she wants to hear you sing like you usually do."
"Alright, now, you and your brother entertain Mr. Li while I go to your sister."
With that said, Sakura left the living room without so much as a word or even a glance to Syaoran. And somehow it annoyed him.
"Are you okay?"
Syaoran nodded at Xiao Tian with a forced smile before Xiao Hai came running inside the living room.
"I think Mom's gonna sing Mei Hua our song," he informed.
"But she only sings that song if she needs to cheer us up," Xiao Tian pointed out with a slight frown. "Is Mei Hua okay?"
"Before mom came, she told me she's not feeling too well and wants to sleep early, she sounded kind of sad to me."
Syaoran glanced at the clock, it was only 7 o'clock in the evening. He guessed Mei Hua was about four years old, judging from how much smaller she was from the boys. He didn't really know what time kids go to sleep but he was fairly sure sleeping at 7 o'clock was too early.
"Hey Syaoran?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you want to hear mother sing?"
"She's a really great singer you know!" Xiao Hai said proudly.
'Of course she is,' he thought before standing up from his seat and nodding towards them.
"Are you okay my little Mei Hua?" Sakura asked, smiling down at her daughter who was lying down on her bed in her own room that was decorated mostly in pink with a few stuffed animals and dolls.
Mei Hua nodded at her with closed eyes. "I'm just tired, that's all."
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
Sakura sat down beside her on the bed and stroked her hair off her forehead, and again, and again, and again. Doing this always soothed her children and it easily sends them to sleep.
"Who is that man in the living room mother?" she asked instead, not answering her question.
"Why do you ask?"
"Nothing. I'm just wondering why my brothers like him so much. And he seems to really like them too. I saw some of the toys he had given them."
"You can all share with your brothers' new toys, a-" Sakura stopped when Mei Hua shook her head and opened her eyes, and looked at her.
"Those toys aren't mine. It's okay, I'm still happy with the dolls you gave me," she said with a reassuring smile, after noting her mother's smile falter a little. "The toys you give me are enough for me."
Sakura smiled a little sadly before pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Don't worry about the toys Mei Hua. We can always discuss this in the morning. You had a really tiring day. What song do you want me to sing to you?"
"The Cherry Blossom's Lullaby," she replied before closing her eyes yet again.
Taking an unsure glance at the open door, Sakura hoped her voice wouldn't reach the living room. In fact, she hoped her boys would entertain their guest as loudly as they could.
Taking a deep breath, she started humming the start of the slow tune she had made 5 years ago.
Soaring through the heavens, the skies
Swimming through the oceans, the seas
No matter how far or near,
There will always be a 'you and me'.
Sakura closed her eyes, and hummed.
My beautiful flower, my love, my life,
You are my cherry blossom, I'm your little wolf.
She could feel her eyes start to water before the lyrics left her lips again in a sweet tune.
The skies and the seas are vast,
I don't know how long we'll last.
But no matter how far we may be,
There will always be a 'you and me'.
You are my beautiful flower,
We'll be together forever.
My cherry blossom, my love, my life,
Your little wolf will always stay beside you,
Like a loyal husband with his darling wife.
The highest sky, of blue and light,
The deepest sea, in day and night,
My beautiful flower you will always be mine,
My cherry blossom, you are truly divine.
This little wolf will always care for you,
Forever in my heart, I will be true.
I'm the little wolf, who will always love you,
Forever in my heart,
"…I-I will be true…"
Tears finally slipped from Sakura's eyes and down her cheeks as she faltered with the last line. She pressed one last kiss onto the forehead of her sleeping daughter before turning on the lamp on her night stand.
"Good night, my beautiful flower," she whispered before turning off the main light of the room. Slowly and silently shutting the door to a close, Sakura then headed down the hall and towards her bedroom.
Syaoran leaned onto the wall beside the open doorway and glared at the floor. He could clearly hear the twins doing something in the kitchen, but his ears were focused to the musical sounds that were coming from the open room beside him.
My cherry blossom, my love, my life,
Your little wolf will always stay beside you,
Like a loyal husband with his darling wife.
Listening to the lyrics of the 'lullaby', Syaoran could literally feel his heart being wrenched out of his chest…if he had a heart.
Now he was only too sure Sakura had been faking it. She really does remember him, except she's been acting as if she doesn't.
The highest sky, of blue and light,
The deepest sea, in day and night,
My beautiful flower you will always be mine,
My cherry blossom, you are truly divine.
But now, after hearing this song, no doubt about it, she really is aware of the whole situation and she really had knowingly hidden it from him for the past five years.
This little wolf will always care for you,
Forever in my heart, I will be true.
After hearing the final lines coming out in beautiful song from her lips, he knew it was drawing to a close. How can he not? This was the poem he had personally written for her five years ago, before she disappeared from his life without a trace.
Pushing himself from the wall, he glared one last time at the doorway before making his way back towards the living room, only just missing Sakura falter into a broken tone.
Author's Note:
So, just to let everyone who doesn't know, I'm only re-uploading this story. The content is exactly the same as it has been before. Meaning? If there are any typos or any sort of error from before, it's mostly likely to still be around 'til now. My bad. I just don't have the time to recheck for it before re-uploading.
Thought I'd just say it. You know, in case.
That's it for now. Ja ne!
Raeny