Siren: Whoo! Two updates in two days! We're on a roll.

Muse: Why does it smell like tacos in here?

Siren: Because my mom made tacos.

Muse:...I like tacos.

Siren: Yes, you can stay for dinner. My mom even remembered to buy you sour cream this time.

Muse: Your mom is amazing. Disclaimer!

(poof) Gilder: Well, hi there. Sirens & Muses don't own ToS or Skies of Arcadia. Hey, where's my awesome parrot? Willie?!

Siren: Uh...he had to go...to the dentist. (hides Willie behind back) Review, please!

The journey continues as the group heads for the giant rock that people use as a stage and a sacrificing area. Standing around it is the Mayor, a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, very old man.

"Yo, dawg, you can't come in here!" he yelled at our heroes.

"Why do you change your accent every time you speak?" Lloyd asked.

"I say, old chap, what accent? I don't know what the bloody hell you're talking about, you wanker." He shook his head.

"That one," Kratos said. "You just went from ghetto to British. Why do you do that?"

"Why, I reckon you a little off your rocker," he said. "Anyways, only them there dancers can come on into this here rock-stage."

"Uh, okay," Genis said. "Raine's the dancer."

"Like, OMG! Of course you can come in! But, just so you know, don't come crying to me when you, like, die. Oh, gotta go! My BFF is calling! TTFN!"

After the Mayor left, the group headed over to dress Raine into her sacrifice clothes. However, Raine was still not very pleased with the whole 'we decided to give you up as a sacrifice' thing, so she had to be force-dressed by Kratos, Lloyd, Colette, Genis, and a young owl trainer named Seth.

After Raine was all ready to go, they plopped her on the stage/rock.

"Dance!" Kratos hissed.

"Um, okay!" Raine walked around in a circle, occasionally hitting the ground with her staff.

"What the hell kind of dancing is this?" Lloyd asked. "No nudity at all! This is a shitty strip club!"

"Lloyd, it's not a strip club," Genis reminded him.

Suddenly, out of a cloud of smoke came a monster. "I have come for the party. And I brought chips. But no dip."

"Cheapskate," Kratos muttered.

"I've also come to take this girl, kill her, skin her, and use her skin to finish my quilt. Honestly, you have no idea how hard it is to find human skin-colored fabric."

"Um, guys?" Raine said nervously. "You wanna come up and save me?" There was a mumble of negative answers. She sighed. "If you save me, I'll give you a present!"

"I LIKE PRESENTS!" Colette yelled. The group took off, attacking the large, quilt-making, cheap-partying monster.

It immediately pummeled Genis into the ground. For twenty-seven minutes. After that it went for Raine, who kicked it in the shins. Lloyd and Kratos both attacked it. Colette stood there like a puppy on train tracks. Finally, after a few hours of Lloyd trying to cut it in half with the wrong end of his swords, Kratos took pity on him and flipped them around for him.

"Yay!" Lloyd cheered. "I done it all by myself!"

The monster dropped a rock as he died in rainbow agony. Raine picked it up.

"Look! A plot device!" she examined it. "It's written in some kind of ancient language."

"No, actually, it's just a bunch of random, misspelled words," Kratos said, yanking it away from her.

"Can you read it?" Genis asked.

"We can decipher it at my house!" Linar shouted.

"Of course," Raine said.

"Whoa, wait," Lloyd said. "You're just met this guy twenty minutes ago. He tried to blow up half the town. You don't even know his last name. And you're just going to go home with him? Haven't you ever heard of stranger danger? What if he rapes and tortures you? He could have a cage in the basement where he keeps sex slaves he kidnaps."

"Um, Lloyd?" Kratos said. "She's gone. Matter of fact, so is everyone else."

Lloyd looked around. "Oh. I think we skipped a scene. Something about Genis being a half-elf."

"I'm sure it's not important," Kratos assured him.

The next day…

"Good timing," Raine said. "I just finished deciphering the tablet."

"It took all night?" Lloyd asked.

"Well, afterwards, Linar and I decided to chug every bit of alcohol in the house. After that, things got a bit hazy. Which reminds me, we have to stop at the drug store before we go. I have to grab the day-after pill. I do not want to have this freak's baby." Raine eyed Linar wearily.

"But-but you told me you loved me," he said.

"Eh, I lied."

The group left Linar crying on the floor, heading to the Balacruf Mausoleum.

"I'm bored," Lloyd complained.

"No one cares," Kratos said.

Luckily, the Mausoleum takes about twenty-six seconds to reach on foot, so Lloyd's short attention span was satisfied quickly.

"Cool! A big building! Maybe there's cake inside!"

"I love cake!" Colette squealed.

The two teens ran to the door. Finding it unable to be opened, they simply started running into it trying to break it down.

"Hey, intelligent people? You know we have to open the door before you can go inside, right?" Kratos said. Colette and Lloyd gave him blank looks.

"Do you think the cake is chocolate?" Colette asked excitedly.

"Of course!" Lloyd exclaimed. "Who wouldn't make chocolate cake to put inside a huge ruin?"

Kratos sighed. "Just…open the door, Raine."

"Say the magic word," Raine told him.

"Please."

"Actually, it's 'diphenylaminechlorarsine'. But 'please' works, too."

Raine opened the door, allowing the group inside.

"Hey, there's no cake in here!" Lloyd yelled. "I want my money back!"

They wondered around for about an hour, falling into various traps.

"Ow! Crap!" Lloyd was speared by random spikes.

"Lloyd, you have to go across them slowly," Genis said. Lloyd punched him.

"Yeah, these traps aren't totally stolen from the Sega version of Prince of Persia or anything," Kratos said. "Douchebags at Namco are going to get sued…"

Meanwhile, at Namco's legal department…

"Hey, what's this piece of paper?" a random lawyer asked, pulling it out from underneath his coffee cup. "It says that Jordan Mechner is suing us for stealing his ideas. How long has this been here?"

Back on the roof of the Balacruf Mausoleum…

"How'd we get here?" Lloyd asked.

"Oh, the authors decided to bypass the traps in here," Raine said. "They really suck. I mean, did anyone actually take the time to find and read all the stupid stories on the wall?"

"I just did trial and error with the windmills," Kratos said.

"Went online and found a cheat," Genis admitted.

"Ditto," Colette said.

"Hey, I bet you guys I'd die if I jumped off here," Lloyd said, dangerously close to the edge of the roof.

"Idiot," Kratos mumbled.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, everything went dark because the chapter came to an end before the boss battle.