The Most DEMACIAN Man in the World
He walks with an aristocratic grace that befits that of an overweight elephant…
When he wears his armor, he automatically thinks that he can charge into any sort of situation... despite being level 1 and equipped with only a Doran's Shield…
He can swing his sword 360 degrees without pause for hours without getting dizzy and can somehow slide across grass while doing so…
He refuses to use cuss words and instead insults his enemies with worlds like 'vile scourge'…
He can somehow make his enemies unable to attack him simply by slamming his sword down upon them… in a blow that should actually kill them…
He has an odd infatuation with the very woman that was meant to be his sworn enemy and has somehow made her infatuated with him… along with every other female including his own sister…
He screams the word "Justice" at the top of his lungs and somehow summons a huge sword from the sky…
He likes to shout the name of his city-state at the top of his lungs…
He is…
THUNDER CRACK
The most DEMACIAN man in the world…
"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Graggy's."
Please drink Graggy's responsibly. Graggy's is not responsible for any heart failures, liver problems, or broken bones that may result in the inevitable overdoes of this beverage. In fact, we only put this up here because it's required for us to do so. You are probably too busy jacking off to you're friend's porn videos to pay attention to this anyway. I'm pretty sure you don't even hear this commercial dissing you right now. If you do we're sorry and we didn't mean any offense even if you are jacking off to your friend's porn videos. You are a disgusting human being and should go jump off a cliff. Or better yet drink Graggy's beer; it will kill you a lot faster and a lot less painfully. Ell Oh Ell, Jay Kay but seriously drink Graggy's beer. Drink it. You know you want to.
"…Stay thirty my friends."
"Hey pretty boy have you seen- HOLY FUCK!"
"GAH VI WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING JACKING OFF?!"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!"
"YOU LEFT THE DOOR OPEN!"
"NO I DIDN'T I LOCKED IT UP AS SOON AS I GOT HOME!"
"What's going on here?"
"Cupcake! This guy has been jacking off to god knows what, and I came wondering where my goggles were!"
"Hey! I was borrowing this stuff it's not actually mine!"
"What? So you stole it? Some 'Hero of Tomorrow' you are!"
"I didn't steal it! I borrowed it from someone!"
"Then who is it?"
"Caitlyn!"
"HAH! LIKE I'D BELIEVE THAT!"
"…"
"No! I really borrowed it from Caitlyn! Cait, help me out here!"
"… I've got stuff to do at the station."
"TRAITOR!"
"Whatever… just wait until everybody in Piltover hears about this… hue hue hue."
"WTF?! YOU'RE NOT MORDEKAISER DAMNIT!"
"I CAN LAUGH HOWEVER I WANT!"
"WOULD YOU IMBECILES SHUT UP?!"
"WTF?! HOW DID MORDEKAISER GET IN HERE?"
"I BROKE IN, IMBECILE!"
"Geesh at least somebody admits it."
"WELL I'M NOT GONNA STOP YELLING BECAUSE I JUST WANNA YELL MY LUNGS OUT!"
"YOU CALL THAT A YELL?! THIS IS A YELL YOU PINK-HAIRED… IMBECILE!"
"And yet you were telling us to be quite just a while ago… and by the way why does everybody from Shadow Isles like to word 'imbecile'?"
"SHUT IT PRETTY BOY!
"No really, like remember that game where Thresh got completely owned for breaking the fourth wall?"
"Oh yeah… isn't he still up in the air right now?"
"Yes and he'll stay there screaming like a little girl until the author writes a sequel of him falling down."
"It seems like a common thing to break the fourth wall in the Shadow Isles as well."
"Yes we do it all the time out spite because the author constantly bleeps out our cuss words therefore making us unable to cuss."
"Speaking of breaking walls…"
BOOM!
"SAY HELLO TO MY FRIENDS OF VARIOUS SIZES!"
"JINX?!"
"HEHEHE BYE BYE!"
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
"WHAT THE FU-!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!
"AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!"
"HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE! WE'RE FLYING IN THE F***ING AIR HALLELLUJAH! WELL PLAYED, AUTHOR!"
"STOP BREAKING THE FUCKING FOURTH WALL!"
"NEVAR!"
FIN