Chapter 9: On with The Show
The three had found a horse and crossed the bridge off the island. They then began making their way to the opera to save the princess. "Come on, Doof!" said Perry.
"Come on, Pinky!" said Doofy.
"I'm right behind you!" replied Pinky. The three of them were all riding the same horse and Steve sat on Perry's hat for his perch.
Meanwhile, at the opera, Princess Penelope and her lady-in-waiting, Isabella, had arrived. They were both dressed to the nines in the finest dresses. The door to their carriage was opened by a chauffeur and the two glided out. The chauffeur that had opened the door stood beside another chauffeur in a matching purple and black uniform. The two bowed low and the one said, "Princess Penelope."
"Your grace," said the other. When the two ladies had passed, the two looked at each other with smiles. They were Dr. Bloodpudding and Rodney in disguise.
The two ladies made their way to their balcony seat, but were stopped by Captain Enigma. He stood in their way. "Captain Enigma?" asked Princess Penelope.
" 'Allo, Princess," said Captain Enigma menacingly. Behind the two girls appeared the two bad guys Dr. Bloodpudding and Rodney (who were back in their normal bad guy garb).
Penelope looked at them nervously before turning to Captain Enigma and inquiring, "Where are my bodyguards?"
Captain Enigma laughed as he pulled out a bag and put the two in. With a little effort, he held the ending shut and tied it. "I'll be your bodyguard tonight, little sheila," he said.
Penelope stuck her head out of one of the patches and cried, "This is an outrage!"
"No, it's my nefarious plan to steal the throne," replied Captain Enigma. He pulled back the curtain behind him and there in one of the balcony seats was Dr. Diminutive in the princess's clothes and a poorly painted face. Two blocks were at the top and bottom of his lips to mimic a beak.
"Does this crown make my beak look big?" asked the bad guy in drag. Penelope let out a loud squeal of terror before being shoved back into the sack.
"You know what to do," said Captain Enigma to the other two bad guys.
"Righty-o, boss!" they replied. They opened up a trunk and Rodney picked up the sack and tossed it in. The trunk was then closed and the lock snapped shut. Rodney and Dr. Bloodpudding then carried it away.
The horse carrying the three musketeers was still running at full speed down the road. The lights from the opera were shining across the sky and the city was quickly entering view. "Look! There it is!" cried out Doofy. They were that much closer to saving the princess.
Back at the opera, Captain Enigma was on the balcony with the fake princess. "All right, shortie, do your thing," he said. Dr. Diminutive took out a powder case and dabbed it all over his face. It didn't seal the look any better, but he seemed to feel good about it. He put the powder away and cleared his throat until he was certain he could bring his voice to feminine levels. He then blew an air horn that shocked everyone in the room.
He leaned over the balcony and began declaring, "Attention, my loyal subjects. Due to the stress of princessing, my duties have become too overwhelming for a delicate flower such as myself." He giggled rather girly-like while waving a fan in front of his face. The giggling had temporarily moved the fake beak down, but it was quickly put back into place. "Therefore, I now present your new ruler: King Enigma!" The audience gasped in shock.
Captain Enigma pulled a cord and a giant tapestry came down with a picture of him in kingly garb looking all too dignified. He laughed in victory and said, "I did it, Mommy!" He ripped his clothes off to reveal kingly garb underneath. As he continued speaking, he removed his captain's hat to reveal a good-sized crown on his head. "I'm king of all France!" His happy/devious look grew stronger as he said, "I feel like eating a snail." He smiled wide and decreed: "Now, on with the show!"
The audience applauded as the conductor took his place at his stand. He took a low bow, casting his white hair down. When he stood upright again, he removed his wig and said, "Hello, it's me" with a wink. The troubadour, Terry, was the conductor. He put his wig back on and tapped the stand, his hands raised and soon began moving and the orchestra followed his movements. The curtains opened and the opera began.
Buford, Baljeet, Django, Peter the Panda, and Newton the Gnu were on a prop ship in pirate's costumes. They sang: "Come, friends who plow the seas. Truce to navigation, take another station..." They kept going on like this while the three musketeers came to a stop in front of the opera house. They disembarked from the horse and ran inside. Steve was sticking his tongue out a lot and scurrying around, looking for any trace of the princess.
"That's it, Steve, find the princess!" said Perry.
The pirates went on: "With cat-like tread, upon our prey we steal. In silence dread, our cautions way we feel. No sound at all, we never speak a word." All the while, the bad guys were making their way backstage with the chest with the two girls in it. They were stopped by a croaking chameleon and three musketeers that were hot on the trail.
"Did you find the princess, Steve?" asked Perry. Steve pointed at the chest with his tail. "Good work, Steve."
Within the chest, Penelope had escaped the bag through the patch and untied the bag for Isabella to get out. Penelope looked through the keyhole and declared, "Our brave musketeers have come to rescue us."
Perry called out, "Don't worry, your highness, we'll save you!" He drew his sword and said, "All right, you two, drop the princess!"
"With pleasure," replied Rodney. The two threw the chest up in the air and let it fall to the ground. The princess screamed from within. It was only from holding onto the sides of the chest that the two were able to escape broken bones. Nonetheless, the effect was still jarring. Then, the three musketeers charged the two bad guys and the swordplay began.
Shortly after their fight began, the pirates' song had ended and the prop ship was rolled off-stage. Three chorus girls, Ginger, Adyson, and Katie, were singing. They were not far away from the duel. "Poor wandering ones..." they sang. The audience gasped at seeing the sword fight, sensing that it wasn't part of the play. The girls continued, "Can help you find true peace of mind." At the end of this, the fight got too close for them to handle and they screamed. They fled as the fight continued.
Up in the "king's" balcony, the fake princess was watching all of this going on while the king was snoozing. He woke the king by tapping on his wooden leg with his fan. The king woke up and, following the pointing fan of the faux princess, looked to the stage where it was chaos. "What?" the Enigma asked. He then saw the chest on the stage, abandoned. "The princess! Uh- do something!" He commanded to the short bad guy.
"Sir, yes, sir," said the short man in drag with a salute. He left the balcony. The Enigma realized the ridiculousness of sending a man in women's clothes to take care of the problem only after the little man had left.
On the stage, the chorus girls were committed to finishing their song, but under the safety of a hollow prop rock. "Scaling rough and rugged passes climb the hearty little lasses till the bright sea-shore they gain!" With that, they left.
"How dare you try to kidnap the princess?! Nobody walks away with the princess while Perry, Pinky, and Doofy are on the job!" said Perry. While they had been saying this, Dr. Diminutive had come on stage and began dragging the chest away.
"Hey, someone's walking away with the princess," said Doofy. The fight had stopped to watch the action in disbelief.
"Let's get him!" said Perry.
"Huh? AH!" said Dr. Diminutive as the three musketeers tackled the little man. After the fight broke up, the three musketeers carried away the chest, heading toward the upper levels of the opera. Of course, to get there, they had to go all the way back across the stage. It was the scene in the opera in which the general was singing of his education.
Lawrence was said general and he sang, "I am the very model of a modern major general. I've information vegetable, animal- historical from Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical. I'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical. I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical about binomial theorem I am teeming with a lot of news." During all of this, the three musketeers ran away from the three bad guys up to the top of the opera. Lawrence wasn't sure if this was part of the opera, but he decided to just go with it and continue. "With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse."
"With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse, with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse, with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse," sang the brave girl chorus. As the chorus went on, the musketeers had made their way to the prop moon and descended out of the reach of the bad guys.
The Enigma saw this and cried, "She's getting away!" He hopped from his balcony and onto the prop sun. His weight weighed down the sun enough to bring up the moon. He put his wooden leg on the rope to stop it when the two were at equal height. All the while, the general and the chorus continued. The chest was tugged back and forth between the sun and the moon and, as this happened, the eyes of everyone else there darted back and forth as well, watching.
Somewhere between the tugging, the chest fell. Perry cried out, "Princess!" and swung himself back onto the stairs. He ran down and reached the stage in time to get underneath the chest's path and "catch" it.
"Such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at and when I know precisely what is meant by commissariat, when I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery. In short-" The general had originally been in the path of the falling chest, but stepped away in time for Perry to stand there and get squashed by the chest.
"Ow," Perry said painfully.
Up above, the Enigma blew the remaining two musketeers a raspberry before descending. In the ascent of the musketeers, they came back in view of the three bad guys. They jumped on and the Enigma let go, causing the moon to fall through the stage to the basement below. After the loud crash, it sent up a small cloud of dust.
"Two down and one to go," said the Enigma. He was making his way for Perry.
Perry heaved the chest off of himself and stumbled to his feet. He was knocked out, nearly drowned to death, and now crushed by a chest all in one day. He was getting very tired. His breathing was heavy as he assessed his situation. The chest was locked and the only thing that might be able to pry it open was his sword. He shrugged and set to it. As he maneuvered it, the idea was starting to not sound so bad. "I almost got it," he said.
Penelope was watching through the keyhole and saw the Enigma's shadow come up behind Perry. "Oh, no! Look out!" she cried.
"What?" asked Perry. He looked behind him and saw the Enigma, who looked very peeved.
"This is it, chitter-chatter, mano y tiny-o," said the Enigma. He removed his royal robe and drew his sword. The audience gasped and any remaining cast left the stage in a hurry. The Troubadour looked through his sheets, trying to find the right music for the situation. When he did, he smiled and tapped his conductor's baton on his stand. With a quick wave of his hands, a new music began: duel music.
The swords of Perry and the Enigma clashed and clanged. They were each trying to seek an advantage. The Enigma smiled, feeling like he would eventually get his opponent. "Ha, ha!" he said. Perry was dodging, but only just. His injuries were catching up with him. "Hoo, hoo!" With his strength, the Enigma was sure he would win. "Ha, ha!" Perry finally managed to get a good opening and he took it. He knocked the Enigma's sword from his hand. It was sent flying, far out of reach.
"Ha, ha!" said Perry.
"Ho, ho," said the Enigma, standing on Perry's sword. Perry couldn't yank it out from underneath the Enigma's good leg.
"Uh, oh," said Perry. Then, with one swift punch, the Enigma sent Perry flying across the stage. The crowd was concerned over this unfortunate change of events.
The Enigma picked up Perry's sword and came up behind the weakened monotreme. Perry shifted to his back and found himself staring down the blade of a sword. "It's all over, Perry, and you're all alone," said the Enigma. "And now, with you finally out of the way, getting rid of the princess will be easy as pie."
Little did he know, the ropes had been moving behind him and the moon began rising again. On it, Doofy and Pinky were standing, banged up, but still alive. Perry's confidence was renewed. "Ha, want to bet?" he asked.
"That's a sucker bet!" said the Enigma.
"Yeah, and you're the sucker, man," said Pinky. He shoved the crown further down on the Enigma's head, making it go over his eyes. As he slowly got it off, the three musketeers assembled once again. Doofy handed Perry another sword. Now, all three were armed.
"Ready, musketeers?" asked Perry.
"All for one and one for all!" they said together.
"Uh, oh," said the Enigma. Instinct told him he was in trouble.
"How's this for a coward?" asked Pinky, poking the Enigma in his one good eye. He recoiled, but wound up running into Doofy.
"How's this for a doofus?" asked Doofy, charging the Enigma's mid-section. The Enigma gasped for air and tried to regain his balance.
When he did, Perry had something of his own to say. "And I may be small, Enigma, but I've got friends that make me ten feet tall," he said. Doofy had Pinky on his shoulders and on Pinky's shoulders was Perry. They towered over the Enigma.
"Aw, nuts," said the Enigma. The musketeers went on the attack, punching the Enigma until he bled. Then, to add insult to injury, Perry cut off the Enigma's fake leg with his sword.
"Timber!" called out Perry.
"I hate happy endings," muttered the Enigma before he fell. The audience cheered. The musketeers pried open the chest and freed the two girls. Princess Penelope and Perry joined hands and the audience let out some adoring "Aw" sounds.
The Silver Viper came running onto the stage. She stopped just short of running into Doofy. He turned and they went to embrace each other, but wound up clunking heads together. After the short disorientation, the two just joined hands and looked at each other lovingly.
Pinky wiggled his eyebrows and gave his best smile at Isabella. She rolled her eyes and sighed. The musketeer she wanted wasn't there.
Then, the backstage doors burst open and the musketeers, Phineas, Monty, Irving, and Albert, came onto the stage. "What's going on?" asked Irving.
"Is everything all right here?" asked Monty.
"We heard there was trouble," said Phineas.
"I finally get a line!" said Albert excitedly.
Irving rolled his eyes. "Really, Albert, you're embarrassing me," he said.
Isabella had been petting Pinky with a sad expression on her face, but when she heard Phineas's voice, she turned around and saw him. He looked at her, just as mesmerized as she was. He stepped forward and shifted on his feet, feeling a little embarrassed. "I, uh... I mean, you-" Phineas was cut short by Isabella kissing him.
Princess Penelope saw this and asked, "Izzy, are you kissing a commoner?"
Isabella giggled girlishly as Phineas stood there, looking absolutely lost in the moment and lovestruck. "C'est la vie," replied Isabella before going back to kissing Phineas.
"Oh, c'est l'amore," said Princess Penelope, bringing Perry in for a kiss. She hugged him tightly and he winced, but hugged her back before she could pull away. Pain could wait. Love was here now.
The cast of the opera had returned to the stage and began singing the ending part of the opera. Terry the Troubadour shed a quick tear of tenderness while finishing his conducting. In his efforts, however, he fell from the stage. "I am okay," he said. It was a happily ever after... almost. There was still a detail or two left to take care of.
YAY! I hope you all enjoyed it. The next chapter will probably be the last chapter, so stay tuned! Please keep reading and reviewing, thanks :)