A/n: Hey everyone! I am so sorry that I haven't been writing this for a while! You guys must think I'm terrible! But I have a few excuses.. So excuse number one: I have been dealing with a few things again.. 2: I went out to my dads hometown for ten days, and where he grew up to still doesn't have internet, 3: I was busy getting my eyes check and stuff.. and now I have to get glasses.. but now Ill be able to see the TV better and the white board when school starts back up!
So, those are my excuses.. don't buy them? Whatever.
Hope you enjoy!
Third Person POV:
Alec didn't know what possessed him to say those things to Magnus. He knew that Magnus was dealing with something that he couldn't really control. He just had to be a little insensitive and now the only friend that he did have, may not want anything to do with him now. He should have been more careful of what he was saying.
But it angered him, how Magnus refused to eat even the tiniest bit of food. Couldn't he just like eat something? Anything? He didn't understand this at all. He sighed as he walked to his locker. he had nowhere else to go, and ditching school wasn't an option when Hodge was keeping a very close eye on him.
He found his locker and sat down in front of it. He took out his Ipod and put the headphones in. Three Days Grace blocking out everything with their music. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cool metal of his locker. It soothed the pounding in his head a little bit.
As he sat there, he began to contemplate the severity of eating disorders. He knew that people who had them would appear a healthy weight one week and the next they would be like a walking skeleton. Some would feel abnormally cold, or so he heard. He heard others could barely stand up properly. But that was just minor things. Magnus' seemed so much worst then this. Magnus was all skin and bone, literally. And from what Alec observed earlier in the cafeteria, Magnus seemed to starve himself.
Alec shook his head. He didn't know why he was thinking too hard about this. He barely knew Magnus, and yet he wanted to help him. He wanted to help this boy, who lost himself to a disorder. Alec wanted to save Magnus from himself, before there wasn't even anything left to be saved.
He sighed again. Why did this one boy take up so much of his thoughts?
Magnus was left at the table by himself. He hadn't felt stomach sick when he left his house this morning, but now he did. He felt downright terrible. He didn't know why. The way Alec had looked at him, made him feel sorry and made him want to go after Alec. But Alec probably didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Not after this.
He felt tears prickle at his eyes, but he forced them back. He didn't want to cry. Not in school at least. It would just give people another reason to talk about him behind his back.
But as he sat there, he thought about what Alec had said. He only wanted to help him. But Magnus was far too stubborn to listen to Alec. Magnus wanted to groan. Why did he even have this disorder? His parents weren't abusive when he was younger, and he didn't have any other reason for this. He just guessed that something in him, just clicked one day and told him that he needed to start doing this.
Or maybe it was because everyone kept telling him that he was too fat when he was younger. He shuddered as those memories spilled into his mind. Every time one of his family members came to his house, they would always tell his mom and dad that he needed to go on a diet or something. So he guessed that he took it too hard. But, what really possessed his aunts or uncles or even his own grandparents to say those mean things about him? He was only a child! Of course he was going to have baby fat. He couldn't have a nice lean body when he was just a kid. But even now he didn't have one of those.
His ribs protruded through the skin a good bit, so you could see the outline of them. His arms and legs were another thing altogether. His arms were painfully thin. It was like a fine sheet of skin of laid over his arms. His wrist bones poked out, so that nothing was left to the imagination. His legs were so thin that he had to wear a girls double zero skinny jeans, because the mens clothes wouldn't stay on. They would flop and it looked like it was just draped onto his body. His dad didn't know about this, but his mom did. She was the one who picks up his clothes. He couldn't go shopping without feeling ashamed about himself. Ashamed that he was so ugly, ashamed that let this happen to himself. Ashamed about everything about himself.
He sat there, telling himself that he looked better this way.
But why did he feel so disgusted with himself? Of course, he always felt that way a little. But right now he just felt this overwhelming sense of disgust. He shook his head. He wouldn't think about this right now.
The bell rang, signaling that lunch was over. Magnus groaned quietly and picked up his bag off of the ground. He didn't want to go to his afternoon classes. He had art and then theater class. He didn't mind the classes, but the way he was feeling made him want to ditch. And plus some of the people who liked to pick on him were in his theater class. And he prayed that Alec wasn't in that class.
He sighed as he walked down the hall to his next class. He wasn't really upset with Alec anymore, but it still wasn't Alec's business whether or not Magnus starved himself. If he wanted to do that, then fine. But if Alec didn't like it, then he should just keep quiet.
But deep down, Magnus felt happy that someone besides his mother cared about his problem. Enough, to make sure he ate something. He smiled gently to himself and made the rest of the trip to his art class.
Alec wanted to go home and ditch his afternoon classes. But Hodge would tell his parents and he'd definitely be grounded when they came up. He wondered when they were going to be here. They had said a month, but knowing Alec's mother she would make them move before the month was up.
He grimaced when he walked to his next class. Art. Not that he didn't like the class, it was just he always felt like falling asleep in this particular class. When he came up to the door, he opened it quietly. The teacher looked up and quirked an eyebrow at him.
"I'm the new student, Alec Lightwood?" He said quickly.
The teacher nodded and waved his hand, dismissing him. Alec shrugged and went to take a seaat iin the back when something caught his eye. It was a faint shimmer of glitter. He only knew one person who wore glitter. And that was Magnus.
Alec wanted to turn around and walk right out of the classroom. He still felt terrible for what he said to Magnus, but he didn't want to talk to the sparkly boy right yet. But who said that he had to sit next to him or talk to him in this class anyway? No one did. So with an air of indifference he walked over to a table in the far left corner of the room. The table was unoccupied so he just put his book bag on the table and brought out his art supplies. He let his supplies scatter all over the table. He opened his sketch book and took one of his art pencils and began to draw.
He didn't exactly know what he was drawing at first. To him it looked like a pair of eyes. But he couldn't be so sure. It wasn't until he was darkening the lines that it made sense to him. The drawing was of a pair of eyes, but not just anyone's eyes. It was a drawing of Magnus' eyes. The unusual shape of his eyes, the heavy lines were he suppose was his eyeliner that he tend to wear.
Alec wanted to scold himself for being so careless and draw something like this. He sighed. He didn't want to like Magnus. But he did. Even though he knew next to nothing about him. Well, besides the fact that he knew that Magnus had a severe eating disorder. But that was only it. He wanted to get to know that sparkly teenager. But he probably wouldn't have that chance now because of the lunch time fiasco.
The bell rang and Alec gathered up his art supplies and shoved it into his book bag. He wanted this day to end already. School was boring enough, but it was even more boring because he was the new kid and no one wanted to talk to him.
He walked out of the art room and made his way to his last class of the day, french. French wasn't the second language of the United States but he felt that french was more interesting than Spanish. But most people he knew took Spanish over french. Alec wasn't one to follow trends so he took french.
He walked to his french class, wondering how Magnus was doing. Was he still upset about lunchtime? Would he forgive Alec if he apologized? Would he want to be Alec's friend again? Alec shook his head. He would try not to think about Magnus for the rest of the day.
But that was easier said than done.
Magnus sighed as he walked into the auditorium. It was one of his favorite places in the school besides the library. The teacher who taught theater was a nice short lady. She liked her students to called her Sally then by Mrs. Till She had pretty black hair that fell to her waist and big green eyes. She was by far Magnus' favorite teacher.
She didn't care if he sat out during theater because he was in one of those moods where you don't want to do anything. And she always had an ear opened if he needed someone to talk to. Magnus knew that this would be one of those days when he would need someone to talk to.
So instead of going up on stage he took a seat in the back of the auditorium. He liked it up there best. It was dark and quiet. Exactly what he needed today. Especially right now because he felt a headache forming. He knew he wouldn't be able to participate in class today. He sighed and leaned his head against the cool leather seat and tried to drown out the voices of his classmates.
Sally looked up at him with a worried expression. She had always worried about him. It broke her heart whenever he would come to her and say that he had a problem and needed someone to talk to. And most times he would just end up crying and say that his life wasn't worth it anymore. She had heard that so many times that she couldn't keep track anymore. She knew today would be one of those days when he would need to talk to someone desperately.
She sighed. But for now she had a class to teach.
Alec knew he should have ditched classes when he still had the chance to. His head had started to ache, five minutes into french class. He couldn't concentrate and the mumblings around the room seemed to be amplified. He wanted to groan. But that would cast attention on himself, and he wasn't fond of having attention on him. So he just sat there, with a raging headache and the urge to pass out or throw up.
He laid his head on the cool surface of the desk he was sitting in. He tried to get his breathing to even, but if he slowed his breathing the urge to throw up intensified. He closed his eyes tightly. He felt cold suddenly.
"Alexander?" The teacher called out, he couldn't be bothered to remember her name.
He lifted his head up a little bit. "Yeah?"
"Are you feeling alright?" She asked.
He shook his head. He shouldn't have done that because the throbbing in his head just got worst and his already queasy stomach was about to make him throw up the contents of it.
"Do you want to go home..?" She asked, concern lacing through her words.
"Yeah" He croaked out.
He picked up his things and tried to walk out of the room without crashing into anything. He never felt this sick before in his entire life. It was always minor head colds. But this, this was terrible. He felt cold, and his hand shook as he tried to open the classroom door. When he managed to get it opened, he stumbled into the hallway. He walked for a few minutes when he had to sit down. He leaned against a wall and tried to calm his erratic breathing.
He took out his cellphone and dialed the number that was oh so familiar. He held the phone up to his ear and waited for him to pick up.
"Hello?" He answered on the fifth ring.
"Hodge? I need you to come pick me up from school, right away" Alec said.
"Why? Whats wrong?" Hodge asked.
"I'm not feeling too good.. well, that's an understatement.. I feel terrible" He groaned. The pain in his head was just getting worst and now that he thought about it, there was a dull throb in his left wrist.
Hodge sighed. "Ill be there in ten, be outside by the time I'm there.. kay?"
"Will do" Alec mumbled. He hung up the phone and shoved it back in his pocket.
He pushed himself up off the floor and picked his bag back up. With a groan he walked down the rest of the hallway and made his way outside. It was bright and it was just making his headache worst. He wished he had a brought a pair of sunglasses with him from California. He could really use a pair right now.
He sat down on the concrete steps and buried his head in his knees. He sat there, still trying to calm his breathing. He was shivering now. He didn't know why he was so cold over a sudden. Or why he was suddenly feeling so sick. And the pain in his wrist just wouldn't go away. He lifted his head up and tugged up the sleeve of his sweater. What he saw made him want to throw up even more.
The cut that he had put on his wrist a week ago, was now bright red and oozing something. It was disgusting and it looked terrible. He hadn't noticed this until now. What did he do wrong this time? He always cleaned his cuts. His heart nearly stopped.
He remembered he was being angry at his parents for moving them to New York and decided that he would do everyone a favor and just get rid of his life slowly. So he didn't clean his razor as much as he always had and didn't clean the cut out either. He was so screwed right now, he would be laughing if his life wasn't on the line.
He saw Hodge pull into the parking lot. He pulled down his sweater sleeve and waited for Hodge to get out and come over. When Hodge was over, he helped Alec up and helped him into the car. Alec sighed he was finally sitting on the comfortable leather seat. He turned to face Hodge.
"Hodge? Would you mind taking me to the emergency room?"
Class was officially over and he was waiting to talk to Sally. He waited for everyone to clear out before going down to talk to her. When everyone was out, he took his book bag and walked down to the table that she usually sat at during classes. Directing everyone.
"Sally? I need to talk to you" Magnus said shyly.
She looked up at him and smiled gently. "Pull up a seat dear."
Once he was sitting, he just took a deep breath and got straight to the point.
"Sally? I've been having so many problems lately that it isn't even healthy. Yesterday I kind of came out to my dad, don't ask. I've been thinking that people would be so better off without me here, and then there's the new student. We were sort of friends but I don't know where I stand with him anymore! I'm just so confused and I don't know what to do" He said with one breath.
Sally looked sympathetic. "Magnus, how many times do I have to tell you? Your life is precious, you shouldn't go and say things like that. Not even if you truly believe in that. And I'm sorry if your dad didn't take it well, and tell me about this new student?"
Magnus smiled slightly. It was a rare thing that Sally saw. "He has blue eyes and black hair, my favorite. He's nice and sweet. He sat with me today at lunch, and we kind of got into a disagreement. But I don't know how I feel about him.. I mean I like him.. but I'm so scared and broken that I don't think I can like him.. if that makes sense.. I'm pretty sure it doesn't."
Sally looked at the broken boy. She wanted to help him, she really did. But she wasn't a therapist and she was pretty sure that he would hate her for bringing something like that up. She sighed.
"What I would do, is talk to him. Just talk things over and settle this disagreement" She said.
"You think that will work?" He asked, hopeful.
"Yes, now.. you should get going. Your parents might wonder where you're to" She said and shooed him away.
Magnus got up and grabbed his bag from the floor. He flashed her a smile, although it didn't reach his eyes. But it was a smile nonetheless.
"Thanks."
Hodge looked at Alec in confusion. "Why do you want to go to the hospital?"
Alec didn't want to show him the angry cut, but he rolled up his sweater sleeve gently and showed him that cut that was on his arm. He looked at Hodge, trying to decipher his reaction but his face was emotionless.
"That's why" He said blandly.
Hodge nodded and started the car. They sped out of the parking lot and down the road. Alec silently hoped that Hodge knew where he was going to. He didn't want to get lost. From what he could tell, he needed to get to a doctor ASAP.
Luckily, they found the hospital quickly. Hodge got out and opened Alec's car door. He helped him out and into the hospital. The receptionist's eyes sparked in recognition of the young Lightwood. Did he mention that his family was a topic of interest?
"My! What have we here?" She asked.
"He has an infected cut, its really bad. He needs to see a doctor quickly" Hodge said through clenched teeth.
The receptionist nodded. The next few minutes flew by in a way that Alec couldn't really remember. He did remember though, being pushed into a wheelchair and being pushed through doors and into a room. The doctor came in a few seconds after that. When he rolled up Alec's sweater sleeve so that he could see the cut, he looked a little freaked out.
And Alec just sat there, not really understanding how bad that this could be.
A/n: Okay.. so how was that? Was it as terrible as I thought it was going to be? Did you guys like it? And again I'm terribly sorry that I hadn't updated in forever! But trust me, there will be more chapters to come!
Anyway,
review?
Chantelle oxo