A/n: Hey everyone! Sorry for the late update! I had this chapter written up, but I decided to go back and rewrite it 'cause the original just didn't flow right and i just didn't like it! So.. here is my second attempt at writing this! And I hope you guys liked the last chapter and forgive me for getting it up sooo late!
Anyway, enough of my blabber! I want to get this written before my mom tells me to go do dishes or something like that!
Enjoy!
Third Person POV:
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
What was that annoying sound? Alec tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids felt so heavy. He tried again, this time they fluttered opened for a few seconds before he shut them again. The harsh fluorescent lights stung his eyes. He sighed, and opened them again. This time he left them opened. His eyes were a little blurry.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
There was that sound again. He looked over and saw that he was hooked up to machines. A feeling of dread settled into his stomach. Why was he here? He couldn't remember much. But he did remember fighting with Magnus at lunch, and calling Hodge. He couldn't remember much after that.
There was an itchy feeling in his left wrist. He looked down at it and was surprised to see white bandages and guaze wrapped around it. The dread in his stomach just made him feel more sick. He leaned back into the pillows a little more and tried to calm his heart.
He heard people coming into the room. If they were trying to be quiet, then they were doing a horrible job of it. He scrunched his nose up when he heard familiar voices.
"..Is he going to be okay?" One voice asked.
"He should be. We managed to flush whatever was in the cut out and clean it. But we had to put him under because he kept moving. He should wake up in a bit" He heard another explain.
He heard someone sit down, and take his cold hand in their own. Whoever was stroking his hand was starting to annoy him because they took his left hand and that was the one that was itchy. He groaned and opened his eyes. Although he wished he hadn't.
There, standing around him was his family. His mother, father, and Isabelle. They all had expressions of sorrow and pity on their faces. He felt his heart speed up a bit. And he knew they all heard it because the beeping picked up speed.
"Alexander? Sweetie, how are you feeling?" His mother asked softly.
"My wrist is itchy" He managed to croak out.
The doctors eyes widened and then he said, "It must be time to change your bandages."
The doctor then got new bandages and gauze. He unwrapped the old ones that were on Alec's wrist. He wished that he hadn't looked at the cut when everything was off. The cut looked better then before, but the cut still looked bad. The swelling had gone down quite a bit but there was still some swelling around the cut and there was still a little bit of blood oozing out. It made him want to throw up even more.
He was thankful when the new bandages were put on the cut. He didn't want to look at it anymore. He sighed and when the doctor had the bandages on. He leaned back into the pillows and waited for angry questions from his family.
"Hodge called us as soon as you were in surgery. He told us that we had to get up here as soon as possible. He said that you were really sick and didn't really know what was going on. But may I ask one question?" His mother said.
"Go ahead" He whispered.
She took a deep breath. "How did you get that cut?"
"I cut myself on a piece of metal, in the airport. I didn't tell anyone about it because I thought it was just a little scratch. I guess I was wrong." Lies. Guiltless, twisted, lies.
His mother looked skeptical, but bought the lie anyway. It wasn't that hard to fool her. She was quite unobservant to when her children were lying. She sighed and her cobalt blue eyes seemed to sadden.
"I'm just glad that your okay. I wouldn't be able to handle losing another child" She said.
Ouch. That was like a punch in the face, but with words instead of fists. She had to bring that up didn't she? She didn't know, how upset he was that he had to lose his little brother. No. She only cared that she still had two remaining kids. He just hoped that she didn't forget about Max most days.
"Yeah. Well.. I'm.. happy, to see you guys" He said. Another lie. You don't want to see them. You wish to never see them ever again.
A nurse came in then. A timid expression on her face. Her face was flushed and her eyes were staring at anything but Alec.
"Yes?" Maryse said.
"Um, there's a v-visitor here to see A-Alec.." She stuttered.
Alec blushed. "Could you guys leave?"
Maryse sighed but nodded. She kissed his hand and got up from the leather recliner. Isabelle gave him a quick nod and his dad ruffled his hair. They trailed out of the room and Alec's visitor came in. Alec's heart sped up again. There, Magnus stood. He was colorful as ever and looked even sadder.
"Hey" Alec said quietly.
"Hi" He replied.
There was an awkward silence. Alec sighed. He didn't like this at all. When he first met Magnus, he was able to speak so freely with him. Even tell him about his problem. But now they couldn't even have a conversation without being awkward?
"Um, why don't you sit down?" Alec said, and motion for the chair that his mother had previously sat in.
Magnus nodded and made his way over to Alec's bedside. He sat down on the edge of the chair and looked down at his twisting hands. Alec wanted to sigh. But held it back. He just let the quietness settle over them.
"Alec.. I came here to apologize" Magnus said suddenly.
"What?" He asked.
Magnus sighed and looked at Alec. "I shouldn't have gotten so angry with you, when you wanted me to eat something. You were just looking out for me. But at the time my fear of eating got the best of me."
Alec laid in the uncomfortable hospital bed, dumbstruck. Magnus was apologizing? It should have been Alec apologizing. He was the one who got angry with Magnus for not eating. He felt like the biggest asshole and jerk on the planet.
"Magnus. It should be me apologizing. I was the one who said all that hurtful stuff. And i should have known not to push you to eat. But I was afraid for you.. worried even" Alec admitted.
There was another semi awkward silence as they let this information process. Magnus surprised Alec by taking his pale hand in his own slightly tanned one. Alec was sure his heart was going to explode. Magnus arched an eyebrow at him.
"Is this okay?" Magnus asked, nodding down at their hands.
"Its fine" Alec managed to chock out.
It was more than okay. Alec loved the feeling of his hand in Magnus'. It scared him a little though. What if his family decided to barge in at any moment? They didn't know that he liked boys. He kept it a secret since he was twelve years old. If they found out this way, six years of his life would have gone down the drain.
"Everyone was talking about you at school too" Magnus muttered.
"Oh? Like what?" Alec asked.
Magnus shrugged. "They were just coming up with absurd reasons for why you left school early."
"Oh" Was all he said.
After that, there was a still, awkward silence that rang throughout the room. Maybe the awkwardness was cause by Magnus' hand circled around Alec's. Alec's heart was still thumping almost painfully in his chest. He felt like he was going to start hyperventilating. He tried his best to sit up, but it was no use. His body felt too heavy to move. So he laid there. He sighed, loudly.
"Erm.. Magnus? Could you.. um.. l-let go of my.. hand?" Alec stammered out.
Magnus blushed faintly and let go of Alec's hand. He looked slightly upset and that made Alec want to say that he could hold his hand again. But he held it back. His parents were right out by the door. And he couldn't risk getting caught holding another boy's hand. It would cause too many questions. Questions that he didn't want to answer right now.. or ever. Maybe never? He didn't know. But not now at least.
The nurse came back in, still looking a little timid and flustered. She said that visiting hours were over and that Magnus had to go home. Magnus sighed, and got up from the chair he was sitting in. He looked over at Alec for a moment before leaving the room. His family piled in after that to tell him, that they will be going home and that they would see him tomorrow. He just nodded and wished silently that Magnus could have stayed. But he wouldn't admit that to anyone.
As he laid there in the uncomfortable hospital bed, he wondered what it would be like if he hadn't moved to New York and meet Magnus. He knew that he would still be cutting, that much was clear. But his parents would have found out. Not Hodge who only kept it a secret because Alec threatened to get him fired if he ever told them. And so far, he hasn't told anyone.
He sighed. He was probably just over thinking everything.
x.o.x
Magnus walked home. He probably shouldn't have done that, but he didn't bring his car. And it was raining, which meant that he was getting his hair wet and ruined and his clothes ruined. But he couldn't bring himself to care. All that he had in his mind, was the image of Alec. He looked so pale and sick. And the thick bandages that were on his wrist. It made him sick.
He sighed. He couldn't begin to imagine what Alec was going through. It must hurt. The sadness. If he took to mutilating his creamy, white skin. The cuts that Alec had showed him on the night they met, looked painful enough. He couldn't imagine what the cut that made him so sick looked like. He probably didn't want to know anyway.
His stomach gurgled, begging for something to eat. He chosed to ignore it. If he didn't, he would probably give into temptation and eat a piece of toast or something. And that couldn't happen. Not if he wanted to be skinny. He hated when he felt the feeling of being hungry. It made him feel uncomfortable.
He walked up the little walk way to his house and didn't hesitate opening the door. He wanted to be out of the rain. It was cold, and his clothes were sticking to him more than they were before. His mother was sitting at the table in the dining room with his father. They both had sullen looks on their faces. It was probably because of him. He walked over to them an sat down at a chair.
"Whats wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing sweetie.. nothing. How about you go up to your room?" His mother suggested.
He shrugged, but got up from the chair and walked up the stairs anyway. His feet felt heavy on the plus black carpet. He wondered why his parents looked so stoic and quiet. They were never like that. They were always happy and full of life. But not right now. He sighed and shook his head. He walked to his bedroom door and opened it. He walked inside and closed the door behind him. He closed his eyes again for a moment. He walked over to his bed and flopped down onto it.
As he laid there, he tried to block out the sounds of his parents yelling.
A/n: Okay.. I think this is the shortest chapter for this story.. but that's okay right? At least I updated! So I hope you liked this chapter!
Anyway,
Review?
Chantelle oxo