A/n: Hey everyone! I am so terribly sorry for taking so long with this chapter.. Most of last month was spent getting ready for school, which started last week. And let me tell you.. High school isnt fun at all (its starts in grade ten here) and I've also been dealing with drama with my boyfriend.. so things were pretty busy.

And I'm also on tumblr now! So if you want you guys can go and check that out :) You can find the URL on my profile page.

And after an exhaustive search I finally decided that Never too Late by Three Days Grace and Saviour by Black Veil Brides would be good songs for this chapter.

Third Person POV:

After their first kiss, Alec took a deep breath and pressed his lips back to Magnus'. Magnus made a soft noise in the back of his throat and weaved his fingers through the shorter boys hair and tugged a little on the strands, which made Alec groan in return. Magnus found this highly enticing and kept pulling on his hair gently.

Alec started to push Magnus back, their lips still sliding over each others in perfect sync. Magnus started to walk back and walked until the back of his knees made contact with the edge of Alec's bed. Alec pushed him down onto it and laid his own body on top of Magnus'. Magnus could have sworn his heart stopped for a minute. He sighed into the kiss. He trailed his fingers down Alec's sides and came to the hem of his shirt. He started to tug it upward and Alec immediately got up from Magnus and went to the other side of the room. He looked tense.

"D-did I do something wrong Alec?" Magnus asked quietly.

Alec took a deep breath. "No, it wasn't you."

"Then what is it?" Magnus asked, confusedly.

It was silent between the two boys for a few moments. In those moments, Alec's shoulders hunched down and his eyes started to tear up. Even wen fighting back tears he was painfully beautiful. Alec looked up at Magnus, he looked young and scared.

"Magnus, there's things in my past that I'm ashamed of, things I regret most days," Alec said, barely above a whisper. Magnus had to strain his ears to hear what Alec was saying.

"Everyone has something that they aren't proud of Alec," Magnus replied gently.

Alec pulled angrily at his hair, his breath hitched in his throat and he looked so close to crying. Magnus didn't know what to do. He was never one to comfort anyone. Not that anyone wanted his comfort anyway.

"Magnus you just don't get it," Alec said in a strangled voice.

Magnus made an exasperated noise. "Then help me understand Alec! I want to help you."

"You're not suppose to help me," Alec said in a whisper.

"I really wish you would stop playing hero, Alec. I want to help you, so just tell me how I can," Magnus said, close to tears.

It was silent for a moment, all that Magnus could hear was Alec's breathing and rain hitting off the window outside. Magnus wanted to shudder. The whole mood at that moment felt so ominous and disturbing. He didn't like it at all. And he was kind of afraid of what Alec might tell him.

"It happened three years ago," Alec started while looking down at the carpet. "I was out walking around with my little brother. It was getting closer to night time so we were trying to get home quickly, so we- I decided to take a shortcut. Max didn't want to. He kept pulling on my sweater sleeve, begging to not go through the ally way. But I wouldn't listen. Oh God, I wish I would've. I didn't know what happened next was coming. In that ally way, there were a couple of older guys, maybe in their twenties or something. They were from one of the worst gangs in California. They held me and Max up at gunpoint and demanded for money. I didn't have my wallet on me, so at that point we were in big trouble," Alec took a moment to catch his breath.

"You don't have to continue," Magnus said gently.

Alec shook his head. "Since I didn't have any money, they were angry. I tried to escape with Max but that didn't work out and that just made them more angry. So two of them held my arms behind my back and I wasn't able to move. And the other three.. they took turns shooting off their guns at my little brother. Magnus, I had to stand there and watch them kill my little brother in front of me. After that, they just ran out of the ally and I was left with Max. He died before the ambulance even got there. And that's why I hurt myself. I hurt myself to block out the pain of seeing that. That's why I didn't want you to see my body, it's full of scars. Something I'm not proud of," Alec concluded.

Magnus saw the tears streaming down his friends? Boyfriends? face. He couldn't imagine what Alec must have been going through. Seeing something that traumatizing, must have had a toll on his pyschological wellbeing. Magnus shuffled over to Alec, and wrapped his arms around him. He felt Alec tense slightly, but returned the hug anyway.

"You have no idea how many times I've wanted to just give up on my life. I wanted the pain to go away, cause it hurt so badly. Sometimes, I still do," Alec muttered.

Magnus pulled away a little. "What do you mean?"

"It was a couple of months after the incident," Alec sighed. "I Just couldn't take it anymore. So I waited until my parents and Izzy went out. I took my bottle of anti-depressants, and poured about half of the bottle into my hand, and I took them all. If it weren't for Isabelle forgetting something and deciding to check up on me.. I wouldn't be here. Sometimes I wish she didn't come home. Sometimes I wish that I had died on that day."

"Alec, no matter how bad you feel.. always remember that I'm here," Magnus said softly.

"I'll remember."

A little while later Alec was sat at his desk and Magnus was sitting on his bed with a bored expression. Alec was doing homework. Magnus had no idea why though. Homework was irrelevant to him and he just didn't bother with it. He looked at his nail polish and started to pick at it.

"Why do you have to do homework?" Magnus asked.

"Because I'm very behind on it," Was Alec's reply.

Another little while passed and Magnus found himself hanging upside down on Alec's bed, looking up at the ceiling and trying to find patterns or shapes in it. But there was no such luck and he was still bored. He sat up on the bed and started to shiver lightly. He was so cold. And that brought an idea to his head.

"Hey Alec?" He said tentatively.

"Yeah?" Alec looked up from his notebook and smiled gently at him.

"I'm cold, come cuddle with me?" Magnus asked.

Alec's blush was prominent on his face as he nodded and closed up his books and shoved them into the plain black and white book bag next to him. He got up from his desk and walked over to his bed, and lifted the covers. Magnus scrambled under them and Alec joined him. They just laid side by side, staring up at the ceiling and then Magnus turned on his side.

"I thought I said I wanted to cuddle?" He pouted.

Alec rolled his eyes at him and turned onto his own side. Magnus snuggled into him and laid his head in the crook of Alec's neck and put one arm around Alec's waist. Alec wrapped both of his arms around the terribly skinny boy and pulled him closer to his body. The feel of the other boy's body against his made Alec's heart flutter in ways that it never done before. It was such a different and intimate experience.

"This is better, don't you think?" Magnus asked.

"Oh, um, yeah.. I guess," Alec stuttered.

It was quiet for a little while after that. All that could be heard was the gentle hum of their breathing and heartbeats. Alec could also hear the light rain hitting off his bedroom window. His hold on Magnus tightened a little and Magnus lifted his head up and looked into Alec's clear blue eyes. Green on Blue.

"Is there something wrong?" Alec asked.

"No, but I was wondering about something," Magnus said.

"About what?" Alec replied.

"Us," He said simply.

Alec could feel his heartbeat picking up pace. "Us?"

"Yeah," Magnus started. "Like, what are we to each other. 'Cause this simply doesn't seem like just friends."

Alec's face turned a deep red. Magnus did have a point. Between all of this cuddling and the kisses they just shared, it didn't seem right calling them just friends.

"Okay.. I admit, I feel something more than friends for you but I'm not sure if I'm ready..." Alec trailed off.

Magnus sat up in Alec's bed, the blankets coming down around his waist. He didn't have a very happy expression on his face and his arms were crossed over on his chest. Alec sat up too, and unfolded the other boy's arms and took his hands in his own. He played with Magnus's long skeletal fingers, a slight frown on his face.

"I'm not sure if I'm ready to have a boyfriend. I didn't even come out to my parents yet," Alec said quietly.

"So, if we were to become.. boyfriends we would have to pretend to be friends in front of your parents?" Magnus asked in a deadly quiet voice.

"that would be.. favorable," Alec replied softly.

Magnus sighed and disconnected his hands from Alec's and got up from the bed. Alec got up after him and grabbed his small wrist. Magnus turned around and gave Alec an exasperated look. Alec flinched slightly at the cold look in Magnus's eyes.

"Alec, I like you. I'll say that. But hiding who I am is not me. Whenever you're ready to be more than friends, call me," And with that Magnus tugged his wrist from Alec's grasped and walked out of the room.

Alec groaned and flopped down onto his bed. He ran a hand through his black hair and threw an arm over his eyes. How could he be so selfish and ask Magnus to be his secret boyfriend? He knew Magnus was already out, but the thought of coming out to his parents made him want to curl up under his blankets and never come out.

Just as he was starting to wallow in self pity, Isabelle came walking in through his bedroom door. Her long hair in a pony tail and wearing sweat pants with a tank top. Her face devoid of any makeup. This was the way Alec liked seeing her. She looked much younger and childlike. He didn't want his little sister to grow up.

She laid down next to Alec. She brushed a few strands of his hair away from his face. He looked at her and smiled gently. She smiled back and sighed.

"Alec? What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing is wrong," He replied automatically.

"I know something is wrong. Your eyes give it away," She said.

Alec sighed heavily and rubbed at his eyes. The sting of tears creeping up on him. "I made a huge mistake."

"And would that have anything to do with Magnus?" She asked.

"Yeah. Wait, how do you know?" He asked.

"Alec, my room is on the other side of yours. The walls aren't that thick so I can hear everything," She winked.

"Isabelle! Anyway, we may have said that we liked each other as more than friends, but then I went and messed it up by saying that we should be secret boyfriends because I didn't come out to mom or dad yet," Alec said in a rushed voice.

"And I'm guessing he didn't like that?" Isabelle asked.

"Yeah, he got upset and left. I feel so bad," Alec said sadly.

Isabelle wrapped her arms around her brother in a sisterly hug. She knew what it was like to feel the need to be comforted. She looked back on a couple of years ago. It was some pretty scary times. Her self destructive behavior almost tore their family apart. And Alec was there through it all.

"Hey, Isabelle?" Alec said suddenly.

"Yeah?" She replied.

"You know when you.. had that thing, right? Why did you start, um, starving yourself?" Alec asked shyly.

He heard Isabelle sigh. This was always a touchy subject for her. "I'm not sure that I can pin point the exact reason but as a teenage girl I read magazines, I saw all of these pretty people in those magazines and tv shows and stuff, and I wanted to be like them, I guess. So I decided that the only way I could achieve that level of perfection and beauty was by starving myself. But in the end, it only made me sick and ended up being hospitalized. I never want to go back there. Spending four months in that rehabilitation center was the worst. And you know I still have to go see that psychologist."

"Isabelle, I'm sorry you had to go through that," Alec said sympathetically.

"It's fine. I'm okay now.. hey can I ask you a question?" She said.

"Yeah, sure go ahead," He replied.

She looked a little uncomfortable. "Is.. um, is Magnus.. you know?"

"Um.." Alec stuttered. "Don't tell anyone.. but, yes."

"And you want him to get better?" She asked.

"Yeah," He shrugged. "Obviously. But he doesn't want to get help and I'm not sure what to do about that."

Isabelle smiled. "All you can do is be there for him."

"Thanks Iz."

A/n: Okay.. I think I'm going to leave this here! I'm sorry about the long wait for this! But you can blame that on school and stress :P So, I hope you guys like this :)

Review?

Chantelle oxo