Avengers: Las Vegas

Hi guys! Thanks for taking the time to read this story. This was an interesting chapter to write. It wasn't intended to be written as fully as this, but I'm glad that it did. Hope you enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I merely muse.

Chapter Two

Rise up this mornin', smiled with the risin' sun

Bob Marley

-~(*)~-

Bruce Banner carefully wrapped a bottle of Regaine in a t-shirt, and hid it right at the bottom of his bag. Turns out that turning into an enormous, green rage monster didn't stop his hair from thinning.

Meanwhile, Clint fondly tucked another explosive arrowhead into his bag, making sure that it was secure and hidden. "Just in case," he whispered to it, before zipping the bag up and slinging it onto his back.

"Are you hiding weapons?" Tony demanded from behind him.

"Jesus," said Clint, almost dropping his bag. "When did you become so sneaky?"

Tony set down his suitcase with an audible clank. "After you more or less moved in. Sneaky snipers make me nervous."

Clint looked really quite pleased with himself. "Is that the suitcase suit?"

"Don't you dare tell Cap."

"This is meant to be a holiday!" Clint protested.

"Says he with arrowheads hidden in his luggage."

"How did you know that? How long have you been hiding in my room?"

Tony shrugged. "My building."

"No, how long?"

"Twenty minutes I guess."

Clint's eyes narrowed. "You pervert. You watched me get out of the shower."

"Really, Barton, which looks worse: you coming out of the shower naked singing 'Three Little Birds' by Bob Marley, to find me in your room, or you coming out the shower naked singing, not finding me in your room, dressing, and then me appearing?"

"Why were you lurking in my room in the first place?"

Tony sighed. "Help me hide the MK V. It's coming with me, dammit. This is the absolute minimum protection that I'm bringing with me."

"Understandable. I'll help you hide the suit, but only if you hide a bow in there too."

"Deal," said Tony.

-~(*)~-

"I don't think that Tony has slept," said Bruce, quietly.

Clint looked over at Tony, who was arguing with the coffee machine.

"I'm sick of this insubordinate behaviour. You have one job in life. One job. And you fail at it. You fail. You failure." Tony bashed the coffee machine with his fist, and it started loudly grinding beans.

"I quite agree," said Clint, swigging his orange juice.

"Oh, and Jane did mention that we shouldn't let Thor gamble. She thinks it will end badly," said Bruce, carefully peeling an orange for his breakfast.

"Yeah, Pepper told me to not let Tony drink too much. Exactly how am I meant to stop him from drinking?" Clint asked.

Bruce started dissecting the orange. "With difficulty, I think."

"Jesus, they're like gremlins. They come with instructions and shit. And why are we the accountable ones?"

"Because Coulson's not coming, and Cap still isn't back."

Clint frowned. "Still not back?"

"Nope. He did leave a message on the phone, saying that he might be late."

"I thought he was just doing debrief with Fury?"

Bruce considered a slice of orange. "I'm sure he's fine, maybe it's just complicated."

"It is a bit worrying, though, isn't it?" pondered Clint. "I mean, Fury was all 'no weapons, get drunk' and now Cap's been detained."

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of Tony trying to roundhouse kick the coffee machine.

"I should have gone back to The Nest. My appliances behave themselves," muttered Clint.

"Where's Thor?" Bruce called over to Tony.

"I'm going to have to use instant. I fucking hate instant."

"Tony?"

"I paid damn good money for proper coffee. Beautiful, perfectly balanced, responsibly sourced coffee. But now..." He glared hatefully at the machine, which once again tried and failed to grind the coffee beans.

"Tony?"

Tony picked up a screwdriver from the kitchen counter, and advanced towards the appliance. "It's a mild issue. It should be a mild issue, at least."

"Tony, you have a crazed look in your eyes."

"Just need to dismantle.." He brought the screwdriver down repeatedly in a stabbing motion, which apparently had the same affect as removing the blockage and adjusting the loose screw.

"You look like a mad man," said Clint, genuinely worried. "I'm now more concerned that you've been sneaking around my floor of the tower, spying on my morning routine."

"What?" Bruce demanded.

Tony stopped stabbing the coffee machine, and looked over at them, coffee debris covering his face and torso, like a murderer covered in the blood of his victims. "Who wants coffee?"

"No, thanks," said Bruce, holding up the remains of his orange, as if it might defend him.

"Never again," said Clint, trying desperately not to look at the screwdriver still grasped in Tony's hand, gently dripping coffee onto the floor.

Tony fixed three mugs for himself, then joined Bruce and Clint at the breakfast bar. He inhaled the steam, his expression becoming blissful, then his entire body seemed to relax. "Good morning."

"Are you feeling more alive now?" Bruce asked, tentatively.

Tony looked at him as if he had only just noticed he was there. "Good morning!"

"Hi, Tony. Where's Thor?"

"Oh, he went to say goodbye to Jane before we leave," said Tony, taking a life-giving sip of coffee. "Oh, that's beautiful. That is heaven."

"Any more from Cap?" Clint asked.

"He said he'd meet us in Vegas. Something's come up, apparently. Nothing terrible, just taking longer than anticipated."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Captain America is going to navigate Vegas alone?"

Tony considered this for a moment. "He's near the Grand Canyon anyway. I'm sure someone from SHIELD can drive him. He'll be fine."

"He has coped remarkably well so far," noted Bruce.

"Ten bucks says he'll turn up at three in the morning with a traffic cone on his head and a stripper under each arm, shouting 'God Bless America'," said Clint, with a cackle.

"I will take you up on that," said Tony. "Though I hope you're right." He finished his first coffee, and started on the second.

With a rumble of lightning, Thor burst through the window. Luckily, it was the one that Clint had jumped out of the previous night, so it was open. Unfortunately, Thor had miscalculated his landing somewhat, and ended up falling headfirst into the coffee machine.

"Ah, the demi-god appears," said Tony, "and promptly breaks my life-support machine. And the warrently does not cover such things, I have been strictly informed. New York was murder on my home insurance."

"My apologies," said Thor, brushing coffee beans off his cloak. "A flock of birds distracted me."

"What kind?" Clint asked, curiously.

"Was it that group of bastards that keep shitting on the tower?" Tony demanded, cradling his two cups of coffee as though he thought Thor would grab them and smash them.

"Is it time to leave yet?" Bruce asked, hopefully, eyeing the clock.

Thor made short work of a litre of orange juice.

"Have you finished packing?" asked Tony, more sharply than was strictly necessary.

"Of course," said Bruce, slightly offended. "Have you?"

"Yep," said Tony, popping the 'p'.

"Glad to hear it." Bruce peered at him. "No weapons, right?"

"No, no. No weapons."

"Good." Bruce stood up, and went to fetch an apple from the fruit bowl.

Tony leant over to whisper to Clint. "Technically, not a weapon as a whole. It's a protective suit with weapons attached."

"Still insisting it's not a weapon?" Clint asked.

"Too fucking right." Tony finished his third cup of coffee, and spoke up. "Are we all ready?"

"Yup," said Clint.

"All good here," said Bruce.

"I am prepared to undertake this journey," said Thor.

"Good good. Get moving. Vegas calls."

-~(*)~-

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