Disclaimer:
Seth: Donna, does not own Twilight. I am owned by Stephenie Meyer.
Me: You're lucky that I finally let you do a disclaimer.
AN: I want to say thank you to all of you who sent in reviews or added this story to your alerts and favorites. I appreciate each and every one of you.
Bella woke to see her dad watching her from the recliner. Worry was etched across his face as he slowly rocked back and forth.
"Is something wrong?" she asked as she stretched.
"Edward called a little while ago. There's still no sign of Alice. Maybe you should call off the wedding until she comes back."
"The wedding is tomorrow Dad. There are people coming in from out of state. Mom more than likely won't be able to come back if I cancel," she reasoned.
"It was just a thought. You do what you think is right," he said putting his hands on his knees.
The smell of coffee filled her nose and she made her way to the kitchen. Renee sat at the table reading the paper as Bella made herself a cup of coffee.
"Do you know that he keeps the coffee in the same place he did when I lived here?" she joked.
"That doesn't surprise me. The idea of change freaks him out," Bella said with a chuckle.
"You know what I want for breakfast?"
"Stuffed French toast?" Bella asked with an amused look.
"As luck would have it, you have everything to make it," Renee said hopefully.
"Sure," Bella said with a small smile.
"Thank you, Honey," she said patting Bella's arm appreciatively.
The front door opened and Quil stuck his head around the corner.
"Perfect timing; food is mentioned and Quil shows up. Where's your partner in crime?" Charlie asked.
"He's doing some work around his house today. Sue gave him a list of things that need to be fixed this morning."
Renee introduced herself to Quil and immediately engulfed him in a hug.
"Any friend of Bella's is a friend of mine. I just hope that I get to meet Jacob someday. I owe him my life for being there for her when she didn't have anyone else," she said.
"I'm sure he would love to meet you," Quil said with a small smile.
"I suggest you start breakfast Bells, you have to be at the Cullen's to go over everything in an hour. I should have told you that when I told you that Edward called," Charlie said with an impish smile.
After breakfast Bella went to change and was back downstairs when someone opened the door. Quil came in lifting Billy's chair over the threshold. Bella avoided eye contact with him as she slipped on her shoes. Renee gushed at the sight of Billy and he smiled warmly when she hugged him.
"I didn't expect to see you while I was here," she gushed.
"I couldn't stay away. It's good to see you Ree Ree," he said with an easy smile.
"Only you could get away with calling me that. You look good," she complimented.
"You too," he said with a grin.
"Bella, do you want me to go with you? I can help with the last minute preparations," Renee offered.
"No Mom, you stay and catch up with Billy," she said before walking around Billy and Quil.
Bella gripped the steering wheel while her heart rate went back to normal. She was glad that Billy had been the one to reach out. She knew why he had done it, and she was grateful. He didn't want Charlie to be alone. She would talk to him when she got home.
At the Cullen's Esme's was the only car there. She opened the front door as Bella walked through the yard.
"I was hoping to meet your mother," she said with a smile.
"Billy showed up just as I was leaving. They're catching up."
Bella followed Esme into the kitchen which was eerily clean. Usually there was a bowl of fruit at each end of the counter and Carlisle's work which was usually scattered across the table was absent.
"Have a seat Bella," Esme said.
Bella immediately knew something was wrong. Edward was supposed to be helping her today.
"Where is Edward?" she questioned.
"He is helping Jasper look for Alice," Esme said as she wrote something in Alice's wedding folder.
"You're taking over?" she asked slowly.
"Just in case no one is able to find her, you have nothing to worry about. I need you to look over the menu. I still need a few things from the store before I can start cooking."
"I can help with that," she offered.
"Nonsense, this is for you. I will not hear another word about you helping," Esme admonished.
Bella looked over the list of food that Esme was planning on fixing. It was enough food to feed an army.
"What if Alice isn't found? I'll need to find a new MOH."
"Why not ask your mother? She would be the most logical choice." Esme reminded her as Bella continued to look over the list.
"I'll talk to her."
"You should head home. Spend time with your parents. It will be the last time you see them for a while," Esme said giving her a concerned look.
Bella nodded as she handed the list back to Esme. She stood from the table and was back in her car less than fifteen minutes after she had gotten there.
Billy, Charlie and Renee were in the living room while Quil cleaned the kitchen. She grabbed a towel from the drawer and started drying and putting away the dishes. They worked silently until Charlie came in.
"I didn't hear you come in. You weren't gone very long."
"I wanted to spend time with you and Mom. I won't be able to see you that much once I'm married," she reminded him.
"I guess I can understand that," he reasoned.
"Bella, could you come in here?" Billy asked.
Bella prepared herself for the worst as she walked into the living room. There was a wrapped package on the coffee table.
"I won't be able to make it tomorrow but I wanted to give you something," he explained.
"You didn't have to," she said politely.
"I wanted to," he said with a kind smile.
"Go ahead and open it Bella," Renee said handing the small, lightweight box to her.
Inside the box was a small square of fabric from what she knew was one of Jacob's flannel shirts.
"It's tradition for the bride carry something that has a tie to someone that they wish was there," he stated.
"Thank you Billy, this is really nice," she said, touched that he had thought to do something this nice.
"I can sow it into your dress tomorrow," Renee said.
"You're welcome Bella. I know that Jacob would want you to be happy," Billy said with a sad smile.
Bella nodded as she clutched the swatch of fabric in her hand. She smiled before walking out of the room. She was able to hold the tears that were threatening to come until she got to her room. She flung herself onto the bed as quiet sobs racked through her. She looked down at the square of Jacob's shirt with sadness. She wished that things could be different. She didn't want to be in love with two of the most amazing people she had ever met. She wished that she could go back in time and make a decision and stick with it.
XXXX
Bella woke to the sun shining in her eyes. She smiled as she sighed wistfully. Today was the start of the rest of her life. She threw her legs over the side of the couch, not hearing anyone else up.
She heard a car out front as she made coffee. She looked out the window next to the table and didn't see anyone. Maybe she had been imagining things.
She went outside to grab the paper when she saw an envelope taped to the front door. Her name was scrawled across the front in Edward's perfect handwriting. She smiled to herself as she pulled it down.
She took the letter and her coffee into the living room and settled down on the couch before opening the letter.
Beautiful, Wonderful, Bella,
I write this letter with a heavy heart. I imagine that you are wondering what is going on and I promise that I can explain my behavior from the last few weeks. First off, I want nothing more than to be your husband and spend all of eternity with you. I know now that it was not meant to happen.
You may not realize it, but your feelings for Jacob are stronger than you think. You have been talking about him in your sleep a lot as of late. Your true feelings for him come out then. You love him the way that I love you. I was hoping that it would pass as our wedding date neared. It got so bad that you openly wept for him in your sleep. I can only take so much before I reach a breaking point. I know that you and I will never share the bond that you share with Jacob. I am not naïve nor am I stupid.
I don't want you to feel guilty because of what has happened. I held onto you for far too long. I should have given Jacob his chance at happiness and you would have eventually seen that the two of you were meant to be together. Imprint or not Bella my love, you are his soul mate and he is yours. Maybe things would have been different if my family hadn't come back.
My family was contemplating leaving before you moved to Forks. I was able to talk to them out of it and I do not regret all of the pleading, groveling, and arguments that ensued. If I had backed down I wouldn't know what it was like to love someone; even if for a short amount of time, you will always be the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
I want you to know that I hold no animosity towards Jacob, nor am I jealous of him. I know that you think that Jacob is the one who told me about what happened in my absence. I should have set the record straight long before now but it was Sam who showed me everything. He was able to show me everything from the beginning because he would follow the two of you around. I should have realized Jacob's feelings for you then but I never imagined that he would fight as hard as he did. He will be back, and he when does, you will be ready to start over with him.
I was selfish and arrogant and I apologize for not letting you go sooner. I thought that you would take to heart that I had risked so much for you and you would want to be with me because of all that I had sacrificed. Jacob has sacrificed so much and yet given you all of the things that I couldn't.
I can't even call you mine now. You have belonged to Jacob since he reached out to you when I left. Be happy my love, and love with your whole heart. Do not let Jacob take you for granted the way that I have.
I have let everyone know that the wedding has been called off so that you don't need to worry about that.
Edward
Bella folded the letter slowly. She smoothed the creases meticulously before putting the paper back into the envelope. Someone walked down the stairs as she tried to control her breathing. Renee leaned against the door frame; watching Bella in concern. Bella still held the letter in both hands.
"Bella?" she said to get Bella's attention.
"Hmm?" Bella asked absentmindedly.
"Shouldn't you head over to the Cullen's? The wedding is in less than four hours," she reminded her.
"There isn't going to be a wedding," Bella said quietly.
"What?" Renee asked as she crossed the room to sit next to her.
Bella held up the envelope and Renee pulled her into her arms.
"Honey, it's for the best. You would have felt so much guilt if you had gone through with it," Renee said soothingly.
"I thought that it was what I wanted," Bella said quietly.
"I know. Think of it this way, you can move on without a guilty conscience," Renee reminded her.
"I can't move on if Jake isn't here."
"It's good that he isn't. You need time to process everything. It seems that Edward had some regrets of his own," she said in concern.
Bella nodded, not knowing what else to say. Renee held her tightly. Bella rested her head against Renee's chest as she rubbed her back soothingly. Charlie came into the room making as little noise as possible. His eyes met Renee's over Bella's shoulder. She mouthed that the wedding had been called off and he nodded in recognition.
Charlie moved to sit on Bella's other side and placed a hand on her shoulder. The three of them stayed that way for hours.
It was nightfall when someone came knocking on the door. Bella looked over at Charlie who gave her a skeptical look. She nodded and then he rose to answer the door. Billy could be heard outside asking if Charlie had a few minutes.
"Now isn't a good time Billy," Charlie said solemnly.
"Is something wrong?" Billy asked in concern.
"Bella and Edward didn't get married. He got tired of trying to measure up to Bella's high standards," he said sarcastically.
"Ha, ha," Bella retorted.
"Is she alright?" Billy questioned.
"She's fine. She's trying to stay positive. She's talking about returning the gifts already."
"You can keep mine Bells. Jacob would want you to have it," Billy called.
"Who's that in the truck? I can't see them," Charlie questioned.
"A friend of Jacob and Bella's, I asked him to stay in the truck."
"I'll help you back then," Charlie offered before shutting the door.
Bella stood at the front window and was able to see who was in the truck when the cab light turned on. It was Jared. She pushed away from the window before he saw her. She went upstairs to get in the shower, feeling like she had a thick layer of dirt on her skin.
Underneath the scalding spray Bella felt her tense muscles relax. Her hands rested against the shower wall as she took several deep breaths. She wanted to forget this God awful day. She'd had no idea that Edward had felt the way he did. She wracked her brain trying to remember if she had talked to him about the Jacob situation. The startling revelation was no. She had never once apologized for what she had put him through.
She had spent so much time apologizing to Jacob that she hadn't thought of Edward's feelings. She shook her head with a sigh as she turned off the water. She quickly wrapped a towel around herself and headed to her room. She flicked on her light and she gasped louder than she ever had before. Alice sat on her bed, watching her with sorrow and remorse.
"You okay Bells?" Charlie asked from downstairs.
"Yeah, I just saw a huge spider," she called.
"Do you want me to get it?"
"No, it's gone."
"I am so sorry," Alice said quietly.
"You saw what was going to happen, didn't you?" she asked in distress.
"Yes. I argued with him for over a week about it. I pleaded with him to tell you," Alice said with remorse.
"Is he at home?"
"Yes. He's packing his things. He's leaving for Dartmuth in a few days," she explained.
"Can you give him these back?" she said taking off her engagement ring then slipping it and her car keys into Alice's cool palm.
"He still wants you to have the car he bought for you," she explained.
"I can't keep it."
"It would mean so much to him," Alice reasoned.
"Alright," Bella said with a sigh.
"I want us to stay friends."
"I want that too," Bella agreed.
"He says that he's going to go out on his own."
"He's severing ties with you because of me?" she asked in shock.
"He's been contemplating it for a while," she said shaking her head in disagreement.
"He was waiting for me to change," she whispered as the knowledge sunk in.
"Yes," Alice agreed quietly.
"Will you let him know that I am sorry? For everything," she asked.
"I will. I'll bring the car in the morning. It's good to know that you're taking this well," Alice said with a small smile.
"I don't really have a choice," she said with a sigh.
"Jacob will come back. I've been tracking your future. I can't see much," Alice said with a feeble smile.
"That's reassuring, thank you," she said with a small smile.
Alice nodded before standing. She pulled Bella to her in a bone crushing hug. Bella patted Alice's arm awkwardly before feeling a wash of calm.
"Where is Jasper?"
"He's in the car."
"Thank God he can't see me like this. Alice, you are making me uncomfortable…and cold," she complained.
"Oops, I forgot that you were wet and naked," she said with an impish grin.
"I'll call you soon."
Alice climbed through the window seconds later and Bella shut it behind her. She looked out the window once she had gotten dressed. She saw someone pass beneath the street lamp at the end of the street making her squint to see who it was. It looked like Embry. The person looked in her direction, feeling her watching them.
The person turned and walked away and she turned from the window. She got into bed, suddenly tired. She felt all of the stress from the day melt away as she sank deeper under the blankets. She was asleep within minutes.