Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
AN: Aren't you all glad that I finally brought Jacob into the story? Expect him to be a mainstay from now on.
Three Months Later
The house was filled with the smell of ham and pumpkin as Bella went over the list of things that still needed to be done before dinner. The center pieces for the coffee table needed to be put together. She pulled the bag of cranberries out of the pantry. The white pillar candles and glass vases were already in the living room.
She was filling the vases with cranberries when someone knocked on the door. Charlie could be heard coming down the stairs so she decided to let him get it. She was lighting the candles when Billy and Rachel came in.
Billy came in with Rachel following close behind him. Bella had only seen Rachel twice since she had come home from college. She knew that Rachel held a grudge against her because of all the problems that she had caused for Jacob. Billy had probably had to do a lot of coaxing to get her to agree to come.
"Dinner smells great Bells," Billy said with a smile.
"Thanks. It should be ready soon. We're still waiting on Sue, Seth and Leah."
Leah was someone else who was giving Bella the silent treatment. Bella had tried to reach out to her more times than she could count to no avail.
Bella was in the kitchen twenty minutes later when someone came into the room. She looked over her shoulder to see Rachel standing in the archway of the kitchen.
"Is there anything that I can do to help?" she asked helpfully.
"No thanks. I've got it under control," Bella said with a thankful smile.
"Do want to know what kills me most about your and Jacob's situation?" she asked.
"That I broke his heart repeatedly?" Bella asked in a frustrated tone.
"That's stating the obvious. What kills me is that if you had just let go of the leech when Jacob asked you to, he would be here now," she pointed out harshly.
"What?" Bella asked with a scoff.
"Can we talk upstairs?" she asked quietly.
Bella led the way and Rachel closed the door quietly behind her.
"There are things that Jacob wasn't allowed to tell you; since I'm not a member of the pack there isn't anything that Sam can do to me, and I ask that you not tell my dad," Rachel warned.
"Okay," Bella agreed cautiously.
"If a wolf meets their imprint but they are with someone else the wolf cannot imprint on them. If at any given time that relationship ends the wolf can then imprint on the person," she explained.
"So there is still a chance that I could be Jacob's imprint?" Bella asked in recognition.
"That's what my dad is hoping. It's the main reason he wants Jacob to wait until he feels he is ready to come home. He doesn't want to force him before he's ready. If you can tell me that you are completely and totally over Edward I'll be nice to you from now on," she promised.
"I'm over him. I'd say that I slowly started pulling away from him after Jacob left. You don't know what you have until it's gone," she said with a sad smile.
Rachel nodded, with a look of concern etched across her face. Charlie called Bella's name from the hall and Rachel opened the door and Charlie moved to let her pass.
"The oven timer went off. Sue got the ham out and put the rolls in," he explained.
"I'll be right down," she said wiping her eyes quickly.
"What's wrong?" he asked cautiously.
"I'm fine. I just need a few minutes," she sniffled.
"Baby, we're all feeling Jake's absence right now, I know it's hard for you," he said soothingly.
"I'll be down soon," she said reassuringly.
"Take all the time you need," he said pulling her to him.
She let herself fall against him. She sniffled, feeling tears wet his shirt. Charlie had been reluctant to bring up Jacob since Edward left. He wasn't deaf or blind. He knew Jacob had something to do with Bella pulling away from Edward. He hoped that the two of them got a chance at happiness one day.
XXXX
Charlie, Seth and Billy were cleaning the kitchen while Bella sat in the living room with Sue, Leah and Rachel. Leah was giving her the silent treatment while Rachel was civil with her. Sue was being the peace maker as always. Bella had been surprised when Charlie had told her that he was dating Sue that fall. She had thought that Billy had eyes for her. She still thought that sometimes when she would catch him watching her. Sue made Charlie happy, that was all Bella cared about.
The guys came in and Charlie sat in between Bella and Sue. He draped an arm over each of their shoulders, pulling them to him.
"How about we pass out presents now?" he suggested.
"Sure," Bella said, pulling away from him.
"Don't get up Bells. I can hand them out," Seth said, already looking underneath the tree.
Charlie was thankful for his new wallet from Billy and Rachel and he wanted to watch history of the Seattle Seahawks DVD that Sue and the kids had gotten him as soon as he opened it. Bella waited for everyone else to open there's before opening hers. She thanked Billy and Rachel for the scarf they had gotten her and she immediately put on the charm bracelet from Sue.
Everyone was leaving when Billy slipped an envelope into her hand. He patted her hand lightly before Seth pushed him out the door.
"Merry Christmas you guys," she called.
"Merry Christmas," everyone except Leah called back.
She shut the door once everyone had pulled out of the driveway. Charlie was pouring himself a glass of eggnog when she came into the kitchen to tell him goodnight. She slipped the envelope into her pocket before her dad saw it.
"'Night Dad," she said from the entryway.
"'Night Bells," he said over his shoulder as he washed out his glass.
She pulled out the envelope as soon as she had closed her door behind her. She looked down at it with wide eyes. Her name was scrawled across it in Jacob's hastily written script.
Bella,
Words cannot express how much I miss you. I think of you every day. It doesn't hurt like it used to, I guess I'm getting used to the pain. Now I know how you felt when Edward left. A piece of me is missing and I don't know if I'll ever get it back. I know that I could have stayed and worked things out with you but I couldn't take the idea of you being happy with someone else.
I've matured a lot since I left. I'm doing alright in school and I have a few friends. My dad said that I was starting act like my old self when he came to see me. He promised me that he wouldn't read this and I hope he kept his promise. This letter is my private thoughts just for you to read.
When I come back I want us to be friends. Vampire or not, I cannot live without you. It took me a long time to admit that. I am willing to be friends with a leech if you are willing to be friends with a smelly dog. I cannot picture my life without you in it. You are the only person who can make me whole. If being your friend is all that I can have than I will take it. I will always love you, and no one will ever take your place.
I want you to know that I am not mad at you for choosing Edward. You want what you want and I can't condone you for doing what you felt was right. I promise that I will be nice to him, even if he isn't nice to me. I will take whatever he dishes out because I know how much it hurts you to see us fight. I can't stand to put you through that again.
You're in my dreams every night Bells. I can still hear your voice in my head like your standing right in front of me. Do you think of me at all? Do you miss me? I don't expect you to write me back so I guess I'll find out when I get back.
No one knows me or understands me the way that you do. You may not be my imprint, but you are my soul mate. I don't want you to feel sorry for me either. If I can't have you, than I don't want anyone else. If I imprint, I will fight it until the day that I die. You can fight me all that you want about it, but you will not be able to change my mind.
I love you so much that it feels like my heart will burst open sometimes. Just when I think that I can't love you any more than I already do, I remember why I fell in love with you in the first place. I fell in love with you because there is no one else that I can tell my secrets to, I can be myself with you. You don't pass judgment on me and you aren't afraid to put me in my place. You've never lied to me and I promise to never lie to you. You have no idea how beautiful you are, I hope Edward tells you that the way that I used to.
I am not telling you these things to upset you. I had to get them off of my chest because they were weighing down on me like an elephant. I wish that I had told you these things sooner, maybe we would be together. I can't go back in time, so I am making things right now.
Jacob
Bella clutched the letter to her chest as tears rolled down her cheeks. Silent sobs racked through her as she tried to process what she had just read. He still loved her with the same intensity that she had come to know. He had never told her why he loved her; now that he had she couldn't believe that she hadn't realized how perfect they were for each other sooner.
XXXX
The bed shook, jolting Jacob awake. He felt movement at his side, making him open his eyes. His niece lay next to him, one of her tiny arms draped over his stomach. He ran a hand through her curls with a sigh.
The sun wasn't even up yet, and yet he could hear people moving around the small house. His door opened again and light filtered in from the hall, making him shield his eyes.
"Abigail, Isaiah, I asked you to leave him alone," Rebecca said sternly.
"Aww Mom, I didn't want him to know that I was in here," Isaiah whined as he came into view at the foot of the bed.
"They're fine," Jacob interjected.
"I'm making breakfast if you're hungry," Rebecca said in greeting.
"He's always hungry Momma," Abigail said with a giggle.
"Go," he said to his sister.
"Mele Kalikimaka, Unk Jake," Isaiah said climbing onto the bed.
"Mele Kalikimaka, Buddy."
Isaiah curled up on Jacob's other side and Jacob draped an arm over his shoulders. His mind drifted as it usually did when he first woke up to a thousand miles away.
Bella's voice filled his head, her laughter bringing back an easier time. Was she thinking of him? Did she miss him? Was she happy with the decision she had made, or did she regret it?
He had tried to contact her once, just after her birthday. Her dad had answered the phone and he had hung up; immediately regretting it. His moment of weakness had led to the letter that he had mailed to his dad to give to her. He had meant every word that he had written, he couldn't live without her. The last five months had proved that.
The sad part was that he didn't even feel guilty for feeling the way he did. He didn't see it as being in love with a married woman who happened to be a vampire. He was in love with his best friend; she would always be just Bella to him.
He was brought back to reality when a hand smacked him in the face. He looked at Abigail accusingly. She pointed to her older brother whose eyes widened in shock.
"I meant to hit her; she moved her hand before I could stop," Isaiah said quickly.
"You had that look again," Abigail said.
"What look?" Jacob asked.
"Mom says you think about someone when you look like that," Isaiah answered.
He sighed, glad that Rebecca hadn't told them the whole story. He would never be able to explain how he felt to them. The door opened again and both children lifted their heads at the same time.
"Luna!" Abigail said excitedly.
"You two go help your mom," Their grandmother said from the door.
Ina Suno watched Jacob from the door after the children left the room. She thought of Jacob as one of her grandchildren. She worried about him just as much as she did Abigail and Isaiah. She would miss him when went back to Washington, but she knew that he would be happy, that was what mattered.
"Do you need something, Luna?" he questioned.
"No. I was just wishing that you would change your mind and call that girl you miss so much," she said honestly.
"I'm not ready. When I am, that's when I'll go home," he disagreed.
"I don't want to push you. You've grown so much since you showed up here out of the blue," she praised.
"I bet you didn't plan on getting attached to me, did you?" he asked giving her a teasing smile.
"Honey, if I were younger; and I didn't think of you as one of my grandbabies I would make you forget her," she said with confidence.
"That would never happen," he said with a laugh.
"It's something to think about," she sassed.
Ina walked away when Jacob didn't respond. She knew when to leave him alone. Rebecca's in-laws had welcomed Jacob from the moment he had shown up unannounced on Rebecca and Syrus' doorstep. He had made friends here that he would keep in touch with long after he had left.
When he had first arrived on the island he worried that he would imprint on some poor, innocent island girl. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever imprint. Maybe he would be the first Alpha to never imprint. He didn't want someone else taking his attention away from Bella. He would just feel guilty for denying his imprint and his legacy.
He prayed every night that Bella would be his imprint. He prayed that somehow, some way she had decided against marrying Edward or maybe Edward had grown a conscience and had done the right thing. The outcome of seeing Bella after not seeing her for so long kept him up at night. He had gone through so many different scenarios that he honestly thought that they might happen.
Rebecca knocked on his door to get his attention a little while later.
"Breakfast is ready."
"I'll be right there," he answered.
"I was thinking; after breakfast, maybe you should call Dad. You haven't talked to him in a few weeks. He's been asking about you," she reminded him.
"Okay," he said as he got out of bed.
He knew that she was right; he hadn't kept in contact with his dad the way he had promised he would. Every time he talked to his dad he asked him when he was coming home. He didn't lay a guilt trip on him, but he did try to persuade him to come home.
In the kitchen Jacob sat in his usual spot in between Abigail and Isaiah. He ate silently while the kids talked about what they had gotten in their stockings. He listened half halfheartedly, nodding and commenting only when necessary. He thought back to last Christmas when Bella was closed off from the world. Nothing he tried had gotten through to her.
He'd had the most amazing six months with her before Edward had come back. He wouldn't change a single thing. All of the fighting that they had done had let him know how much she cared for him. She had told him once that Edward never argued with her. She did all of the fighting while he gave her whatever she wanted ninety percent of the time. Who wanted a one sided relationship like that? He had a hard time imagining her being happy with the situation.
He could give her what she needed. He knew how much she wanted to be a mother. Even if she acted like she didn't, she craved social interaction. That wouldn't happen now and as much as he tried, in the end he hadn't been able to stop it. He didn't feel like everything he had done was for nothing. All of the foolish things he had done, every sacrifice he had made had been worth it. It was crazy what being in love with someone could make a person do.
Rebecca and Ina cleaned up after breakfast while Syrus and his dad took the kids to the beach until it was time to open presents. Jacob sat in the living room, his phone in hand, debating if he should call his dad. He shook his head with a sigh before opening the phone. He dialed quickly then put the phone to his ear before he could lose his nerve.
"Jake?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah, it's me," he confirmed.
"Thank God, I was just about to call you," she said with a sigh.
"What's going on?" he asked quickly.
"Dad's sick. He asked Bec not to tell you because he knows not to lay a guilt trip on you. He's getting worse," she said in a small voice.
"What's wrong with him?" he asked in a pained voice.
"His kidney's are failing. He found out in October and he's on an organ donors list. I should have taken him to the hospital the other night like Charlie and Sue told me to, but Dad told me that he was fine. Now he won't wake up," she said with a cracked voice.
"I'll be there as soon as I can," he promised.
He hung up and then stalked into the kitchen.
"You knew something was wrong with Dad, and you didn't tell me?" he accused his sister.
"I'll go and get the kids. You two need to talk," Ina said, wiping her hands on a towel.
Jacob waited until she had left the house before glaring at his sister.
"You can't answer me?" he asked bitterly.
"He told you?" she asked quietly.
"No, Rachel told me. He's in a coma Bec!" he seethed.
"Since when?" she asked, her face a mix of pain and shame.
"It happened in the middle of the night last night. I'm going home," he announced.
Rebecca followed him to his room; watching as he threw everything he owned into the lone bag he had brought with him. The crunching of glass made him growl impatiently. She crossed the room to take the picture from him. It was of him and Bella taken not long after the Cullen's and wolves had defeated the vampires. She was smiling brightly at the camera and he looked like Rocky Balboa after fighting the Russian guy from Rocky Four. Bruises, being in a full body cast on one side and having his head wrapped in gauze aside, he looked happy.
"So this is her?" she mused.
"That's Bella," he said proudly.
"The name suits her, she really is beautiful," she said with a smile.
"I know," he breathed.
"Are you going to be okay?" she asked in concern.
"I won't go to see her until I'm ready. I promise," he said with a nod.
"That's all I ask."
He shouldered his bag then walked out of the room.
"What if you can't get a flight today?" she asked with worry.
"Then I'll sleep at the airport until I can. I'll call you and let you know either way," he promised.
"Wait. Take your presents with you," she said, walking into the living room.
She came back with her arms loaded down with presents. She grabbed a suitcase from the hall closet, stuffing the presents in quickly.
"I'll come up this weekend," she promised.
"I'll let everybody know," he said with a nod.
"I love you Little Brother," she said pulling him to her.
"I love you too," he said hugging her tightly.
When he got outside five minutes later Syrus was in the car waiting to take him to the airport. He had never been more glad that his brother in law was the silent type than he was right then. He had wanted a little more time away from the pack, but there was nothing that he could do about it now. He just wished that he could have told Rebecca the truth. His dad had been against that from the beginning. So he'd had to hold all of his issues with the pack inside. Once he saw Sam, there would be nothing to hold him back. He had five months of pent up anger to get out. It had been eating at him and festering the whole time he was away. He felt like a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any second. It wouldn't be much longer; he could hold it in for a few more hours.
XXXX
After three months of working Autumns Antiques Bella was starting to feel at home. Ronnie had let her and Kourtney decorate the store for the holidays as long as the decorations were taken down the day after Christmas. The store was due for a make over so Bella would rearrange things to make it easier to navigate the store while she was at it. Ronnie gave her the okay when Bella said that she would do it herself and pay for the supplies she would need with her own money.
She was putting the Christmas decorations in the back of the store when someone came in. Their back was turned to her as she made her way towards them. The way the person stood and the broadness of their shoulders made her think of Jacob. Their hair was even the same raven black shade as his, even it was a few inches longer.
Her pulse quickened as she turned down the row the person was on. The man still had his back to her as he looked through a book that Bella had had her eye on since it came in two weeks before. The book was a signed limited edition copy of Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman.
"Can I help you?" she asked, finally finding her voice.
The man sat the book down before turning towards her and everything finally clicked. It was Sam; he had let his hair grow out since she had seen him in September.
"Your dad forgot your gift when he came over the other day. Emily wanted to make sure that you got it. She was hoping to see you," he explained.
Bella knew that Charlie had kept in contact with Sam after meeting him last fall; she just didn't know how often they saw each other.
"I didn't think that you would want me there," she said with a light sigh.
"Bella, I don't hold what happened to Jacob against you. Before I imprinted on Emily I contemplated doing the same thing," he admitted.
"What stopped you?" she asked.
"I realized that I had more to gain by staying. A few weeks later I met Emily," he answered with a gentle smile.
Bella nodded, not knowing what to say.
"Jacob says that he'll be coming home once he finishes school. That means you only have five more months without him," he mentioned.
Bella nodded again, not able to hold back the small smile that tugged at her lips.
"The pack is talking about flying down to see him when he graduates," he said.
"He's graduating a year early?" she asked in surprise with raised eyebrows.
"Mm hmm, Bec has been buckling down on him. Turns out he's smarter than he wanted everybody to believe," he said with a teasing smile.
Bella laughed breathlessly as Sam's smile changed to one of warmth. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small silver paper wrapped box. He took Bella's hand and placed the box in it before walking away. Bella stood frozen where she was until after he had walked out of the store.
The box in her hand was light enough to make her wonder what was in the small square box. She pulled off the paper to see a black felt box. She opened the lid to see a beautiful silver chain with an elaborate silver key attached. She pulled it out of the box and put it on without thinking twice. She would call Emily later to thank her.
Five excruciating hours later she locked the store for the night. In her car, waiting for it to warm up she opened her phone. Jacob's smiling face stared back at her and she smiled sadly. She wondered how she made it through the day some days and then she would think of Jacob and she would tell herself that if he could make it, then so could she.
AN2: For those of you who do not know what 'Mele Kalikimaka' means, it means 'Merry Christmas' in Hawaiian. You really can learn a lot from music. Thank you, Jimmy Buffett.