To Wish Impossible Things
Part Two
A/N: Just needed to get this finished and free my mind for a bit. Also, this is basically a fairly fluffy continuation just to give it some closure.
Summary: It's just a normal rainy Saturday afternoon – until it isn't. Karma gets a devastating call that sends her and Amy on an emotional road trip and lands them alone in a motel room.
'Guilt and its handmaiden, shame, can paralyze––or catalyze one into action'
Halfway through third period Monday morning Karma feels so guilty she actually has to leave class.
And it's not even really about Reagan.
She feels guilty because she knows Amy is conflicted about this. And the last thing she wanted was to send Amy spiraling back into a black hole of confusion.
That stupid bracelet. And her stupid emotions. And all of Amy's supportiveness.
Karma just couldn't really help herself; which, not that she ever really could when it's come to Amy.
"I saw you leave class… you okay?" Amy asks as she closes the bathroom door behind her. Karma didn't even hear the door she was so lost in her own thoughts.
"What do you think?"
They stare at each other. Amy looks away first.
"I think," Amy starts after a minute, "that I need to talk to Reagan."
"Amy, I'm not gonna say anything to her. We can just put it behind us," Karma offers but Amy looks unimpressed.
"Karms…" Amy pauses. Possibly for dramatic effect – it's hard to tell. "I can't."
"You can't what? She's your girlfriend."
"I know. And-"
"No," Karma says stopping anything further. "It's not fair to her – she's just starting to trust you again."
"Since when do you even care about what's fair to Reagan?"
"I care about what's fair to you," Karma says. "And she's who you want."
"What makes you so sure?" Amy asks, raising an eyebrow as she steps closer. Karma blushes and looks away to gather her thoughts. She glances at the bathroom door quickly.
"Amy-" Karma pauses, unable to finish when she finds herself backed up against the sink.
"Look," Amy licks her lips and Karma can't help but stare. "I know this makes me awful. But I've been sitting here pretending I don't want you. I can't do it anymore. Not after the motel."
And all of Karma's tenacity about this really means nothing when she hears Amy say things like that. She looks up at Amy who's basically looking at her like she's the be all end all of absolutely everything.
And Karma's scared. Terrified really. Because what is she getting them into?
What if Amy drops everything for her and Karma realizes she can't do this with Amy? What if she breaks her heart again? And then Amy's lost Reagan and Karma? She can't promise Amy this is going to work.
She can't really promise Amy anything and that just serves to scare her more.
What if she ruins this? What if she ruins them?
Amy's happiness is her top concern. It is first and foremost in her mind. And maybe, just maybe, Amy would be better off with Reagan who can promise her a future. Reagan, who knows exactly what she wants, unlike Karma who can't even figure out if it's all girls or just Amy.
Right now, it certainly feels like it's Amy. It's not boys, it's not girls – it's just this girl standing in front of her basically begging for a chance.
"How do you even know this will work?" Karma asks, nervously.
"I can feel it, Karma," Amy tells her, pointedly. "I've just – Reagan's great okay?" and Karma feels the sting in her chest but then Amy is stepping in further and lifting her chin up to make sure their eyes are locked when she says, "She's great, but she is not you."
And Karma feels that in her chest too – in a whole different way.
She glances at Amy's lips quickly and closes her eyes unwillingly when Amy finally kisses her. There'd be no stopping this even if she wanted to (not that she even wants to, like at all).
Amy's kisses become desperate and wanting within seconds. Karma kind of can't help but get wrapped up in them because she feels everything she felt the morning before on that nasty motel bed. And that's kind of a relief because she was mildly concerned that feeling was borne of terror and unbridled emotion.
As it turns out – it wasn't.
Yeah, she's not sure when her feelings for Amy bubbled over intowhatever this is, but she kind of thanks the masters of the universe that they did. Because when she feels Amy's tongue in her mouth she kind of loses all inhibition.
And then Amy has her up on the edge of the sink, and what?
Karma doesn't even know how or when she got there but if they weren't in school right now she'd have Amy out of that plaid shirt already.
Hands clench tighter around her waist when she tugs Amy closer by the back of her neck. She can already tell her lips are swollen and going back to class might pose a problem.
"Mm, Karma… Jesus," Amy sort of hisses out when Karma boldly slips her hands under the loose tank top she's wearing.
"I want this," Karma says, softly. Amy just kisses her hard instead of actually answering.
It's enough of an answer for Karma anyway.
When Amy pushes forward again Karma kind of loses her balance and ends up in the sink.
Amy snorts.
And Jesus – does Amy always look this good? Karma concedes she's probably biased since she's the one that put that look there.
"Don't laugh! Help me out," Karma tries to whine but she can't help laughing too. It's really only them that this would happen to.
Amy smiles at her softly before pulling her out. "Good?"
"Aside from the faucet basically breaking my back, yeah, I'm good," Karma says.
"Good."
Amy's got a look in her eyes that's almost predatory. Karma shivers. The attraction there feels almost magnetic. She's never felt quite this drawn to anyone before. She actually can't believe she wrote this off as non-existent sophomore year. She clearly wouldn't be able to stay away from Amy now if she tried.
"That was-"
"Yeah," Karma finishes. There's really nothing that's going to adequately describe what just transpired.
"I'll talk to Reagan," Amy promises.
"Come over after?"
Amy's smile lingers when she says, "Absolutely."
It's ten minutes past eleven o'clock when Amy finally presents herself at Karma's bedroom door. Karma didn't really know what to expect but Amy just looks – like she's going to pounce.
And then she does.
"Did it-"
"It did. You're- I want-" Amy seems to have troubling formulating an actual sentence but her hands are having no problem trying to rid Karma of her pajamas.
"Ames…" Karma grabs her frantic hands, hitting pause for a minute (which is hard enough because Karma fucking wants this in a way she can't even comprehend). Amy sits up and runs a hand through her hair.
"Karma, I'm good. I'm better than good," Amy says. "And I'm yours… if you want me that is."
Karma bites her lip, "I do."
"Then come here," Amy demands with a teasing smile.
"How about you come here?" Karma's being coy. They both know it.
But Amy just shakes her head in amusement and leans into the kiss without hesitation.
"Is this okay?" Amy asks with fingers in the waistband of Karma's pajama pants.
"Oh now we're asking," Karma teases, breathing heavily.
Amy's expression turns to one of disbelief. "You kissed me in the motel!"
"You didn't stop me," she replies lifting her hips for easier removal of her clothes.
"In what world was I going to stop you?" Amy replies in a low voice that only serves to make Karma grab at the button to Amy's jeans. "I've – Karms, I would never stop you. I'd have to be crazy."
"Why?" Karma's heart feels like it's going to beat out of her chest when Amy pulls at her shirt.
"Why?" Amy repeats. "You're ridiculously sexy," Amy says with a kiss, "and hot," another kiss and Karma smiles into that one. "And so beautiful. God, Karma, why wouldn't I want you?"
"It's just me-"
"Exactly. It's you," Amy tells her softly as she peels off the rest of both of their clothes. "You are everything, okay? And I don't know why that's so hard for you."
"Because you could have anyone else," Karma whispers.
Amy kisses the look of confusion right off her face. "I don't want anyone else. I've only ever wanted you. You were the stupid one."
Karma just laughs and Amy smiles. And then Karma inhales sharply when she feels Amy's fingers.
"I…Ames…" and there are really no words so she just pulls Amy into another kiss.
Amy pulls away for a second to gauge her reactions, "Feel good?"
"Good?" Karma breathes out. "Way beyond that."
"I can make it better," Amy offers.
Karma smirks, "So can I."
She manages to flip them over and Amy looks about ready to die.
"So sexy," Amy murmurs, eyes completely glazed over in wonder. Karma blushes and gains some confidence to move her hips. Amy groans out a noise and falls back onto the pillow. It makes Karma laugh - and this is so how it's supposed to be.
Things with Liam were stuffy and awkward. But this – this is fun, and sexy and everything Karma ever really wanted with someone. And to top it off – it's with Amy. And so tomorrow they can put on Netflix after school or drive around to find good milkshakes, or stuff their faces with pizza from Amy's favorite place – and then Karma can totally withhold sex in trade for the last slice.
Karma wonders – does it really get any better than this?
And then Amy leans up on her free elbow to give Karma some extra leverage to work with – and she has a smug fucking look on her face when Karma's eyes almost roll back in her head.
And then Karma knows for sure – it really doesn't get any better than being with Amy.