Chapter 6: The Decision
In another part of the city, there was another anthropomorphic blue jay. He was in a hotel with a girl a lot younger than him. He happened to be the immortal brother of Michelle's. He and the girl were getting pretty frisky, going so far that they wound up in their underwear before his cell phone rang. "Curses! It never fails! Every time I convince a girl to stay the night with me somewhere, my cell rings..." He picked up the phone to answer it. "What?!"
"Well, if you're going to be like that, perhaps I should call you later. It's not like I matter or anything," said the person on the other line.
"Michelle? Oh, why do you always have to call me at the worst of times?" asked the blue jay.
"Jay..."
"Fine. What do you want?"
"I just really need someone to talk to."
"Do you need me to intervene with anyone?"
"No, I honestly don't think you could take him if it were necessary." Michelle laughed.
"Well, you know I'm here for you. That's what big brothers do for their little sisters... except for when I'm busy."
"You're not on the clock, thus you are not busy."
"So, if I was at work right now, you wouldn't call me?"
"Correct."
"I should be at work more often then."
"Come on, Jay, I hardly ever see you anymore."
"Michelle, what is this really all about?" Michelle didn't answer. "You confessed and ran out, didn't you?"
"Yeah... I really suck at confessions."
"I got that a long time ago, Michelle."
"What should I do?"
"Well, don't be weird about it. Just ask him how he feels about you. Guys are really straight forward, Elle, I don't understand what your problem is."
"My problem is that guys are straight forward. I'm afraid of what he'll say. I feel like such an idiot for confessing like that."
"Don't be. If he doesn't like you back, how bad would that be?"
"Well, then I'd no longer have a reason for living, now, would I?"
"Elle..."
"No, Jay, I've been after him for 200 years, trying to get up the nerve to tell him how I feel-"
"Which you did."
"But now I just know he's going to reject me because of how lame I am!"
"Elle, you're not lame. What made you think that?"
"My hips are too wide, my breasts are too big, I have scars littered across my body, and I am just not any good overall."
"Well, this is the first time I've heard a woman complain her breasts were too big." Jay laughed.
"Jay, I had a size B at the age of 16. Now, I have a big size C. The next time I get pregnant, I'll definitely get into the DD range."
"What's wrong with that?"
"It's too big!"
Jay rolled his eyes. "You're making excuses, Elle."
"I'm not making excuses, I'm pointing out the obvious."
Jay rubbed his fingers on his forehead. "Michelle, you're fine. Think about it: you're over 200 years old and you still look the same way you did when you were 23. You have the perfect hourglass figure, which, in case you didn't know, a lot of guys like."
"More like the hourglass breasts and the pear hips."
Jay sighed. "Michelle, are you eating ice cream in your pajamas right now?"
"No..." a sound of whipped cream on the other end betrayed her.
Jay sighed again. "All right. Stay there, I'm coming over. It's not really a full year until I calm down my little sister's latest panic attack."
"I'm only your junior by two minutes and you know it!"
"I'm still the oldest."
"Whatever."
"I'll see you soon, sis."
"Could you bring chocolate syrup when you come? I'm out."
"And you wonder why you have pear hips."
"Shut up!"
"All right, not the right thing to say, I know. I'll be right over."
"With chocolate syrup?"
"Maybe."
"You're not bringing any, are you?"
"You know me all too well, sister."
"Ugh, fine... just come quickly."
"I'd already be on the road if you didn't keep talking to me."
"Okay." She hung up.
"Well, that was abrupt." Jay turned to the girl still in the bed. "My dear, it has been an elegant night that I'm afraid we'll have to resume on a later date. How's Saturday for you?"
"How about never again, loser?" the girl got up and put her clothes back on. She walked out in a huff.
"What did I do?!" Jay threw up his arms exasperatedly. He sighed deeply and got his clothes back on. He went to his bike and rode off in the direction of the park.
When Jay arrived at the park, there were people outside waiting for him. Jay knew Renae, so he asked her what was going on. Renae said, "She's upstairs. Just follow the depressing music and you'll find her."
"That bad, huh?" asked Jay.
"She's probably just overreacting," said Renae.
"What exactly happened?"
"She confessed to Skips, hesitated, then ran upstairs in a fit of tears. She locked her door and turned on the depressing music. She's been in there for 40 minutes with no end in sight."
"Don't worry, I've brought her out of funks before, this shouldn't be any different."
"I've never seen her this down before though."
"We'll just see."
They had been making their way into the house and up the stairs while they were talking. They were in front of the door when Renae said, "Well, good luck with that." She scampered off and Jay knocked on the door.
"Go away," came a dismal voice from inside.
"Come on, drama queen, let me in," said Jay.
"Fine." There was a lot of shuffling before the door was unlocked and Michelle opened it. Her feathers were in a complete state of disarray and the feathers on her head were especially bad. Her eyes were tear-strained and she looked like she hadn't heard a good word in many years, which, was probably very true.
"Come here, lil' sis," said Jay, opening his arms. Michelle rushed to him and new tears began flowing. Jay combed her feathers with his fingers, trying to calm her down. "It's not the end of the world."
"No, it's the end of everything."
"Or the beginning. I mean, come on, did you even give him a chance to tell you how he felt about this?"
"I don't need to give him a chance to know what he'll say."
"And what would that be?"
"He'd say, 'I still love Desdemona,' which is stupid because she's nothing now but a rotting corpse in the ground."
"You don't know that though."
"How do you know he wouldn't?" Jay didn't have an immediate answer.
He went with, "Get dressed, we're going somewhere."
"I don't want to."
"It'll be good for you, come on." Michelle gave a long, drawn-out groan as she went back into her room. She came back out in a plain red t-shirt, dirty blue jeans, and tennis shoes that were too worn for even beggars. She had a helmet under one arm and her feathers were much smoother, but not entirely groomed. Jay chuckled, "You still have those street luge shoes?"
"What? I like these shoes. They carry a lot of memories in their souls."
Jay chuckled and shook his head. "Come on."
"Where are we going?"
"For a ride."
"I know that, but where?"
"You'll see." Michelle rolled her eyes, but smiled.
Jay and she got on his bike and they rode off. The street bike soon turned onto a dirt road and began climbing up a mountain. Higher and higher they went until they reached a clearing. They got off the bike and Jay dug around in his pack. He pulled out a blanket and put it on the ground. He and Michelle laid down on the blanket and looked at the stars.
"I miss this," said Michelle after a few minutes. "We used to do this all the time... but now you have that job and I am still trying figure out life."
"What's to figure out? You've been living longer than most people and you don't have life figured out yet?" asked Jay.
"Well, having a family is easy enough. Dealing with death is... hard, but manageable. I have learned more things than most and I have forgotten more things than most." Jay laughed at that. "There's just one thing I can't wrap my head around. That thing has a name and it is Skips."
"Do you want me to talk with him?"
"No, every time you talk to a guy I'm interested in, you wind up punching them in the face and saying, 'You better not screw up.' I had a guy abandon me at the altar because of that."
"Well, that guy was a sissy anyway. You don't need that."
They were quiet for a little bit until Michelle spoke again, "How do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"How do you find love so easily with girls?"
"If you think what I do with the girls I meet is out of love, you're sorely mistaken. Michelle, I'm doomed to live forever, so unless I can find another immortal girl, I can never fall in love... so I don't even try. You, on the other hand, have met someone immortal, but you haven't done anything about it except expose yourself and go hide in a corner. Is that how you want to live?"
"No, but love is just so confusing. It's the one thing I can never understand."
"Well, I've never been in love, but I think that if you are, then you need to act on it."
"And if he says no?"
"It's not that big of a loss, is it?"
"No, my 200-year-old crush saying no to me will be no big deal at all."
"Speaking of centennial things, isn't today the day your vow is void?"
"Oh, yeah, the one I made to never smoke for the next 100 years. I promised that to one of my last husbands on his death bed... his name was Nicholas... yes."
"Wow, do you remember all of their names?"
"Well, naturally."
"So...?"
"I don't have the desire to smoke again yet. Besides, the only reason why I made that vow in the first place was because it was getting out of control."
"Oh, yeah, you were super depressed for the last three years of your marriage to Nicholas."
"You know how sad it is when you get mistaken for your husband's granddaughter when you're actually old enough to be his grandmother, if not older?"
"I dated an old woman once."
"Oh, yeah, Beatrice, was her name?"
"I don't know. I don't keep track of names."
"She was nice."
"And old. I know we're old, but I certainly don't feel old. Do you?"
"Not really."
"Hey, Elle?"
"Yeah, Jay?"
"Why is it so hard for you?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but... it's really hard maintaining focus sometimes. I just... I will think I'm doing something right, but when I turn around, it turns out to be not as good for me in the long run."
They were both quiet, just looking at the stars and lost in their own thoughts. Jay said, "Well, you never know until you try."
"No... if I ask him if he likes me... I just can't risk being told 'no.' I've been in this too long to accept rejection," said Michelle.
"You've been through a lot though; a lot more than other people have."
"You're still telling me to pursue this further, aren't you?"
"Well, if you want to live with having awkward encounters with him forever until something happens, then no. You can absolutely ignore him if you so chose, but that will not do your heart any good. You know that."
"I suppose... well, thanks for bringing me out here. I feel a lot better now."
"Sure thing, sis."
"I just wish I could share my life with someone and not feel empty."
"And what if you feel that with Skips?"
Michelle laughed bitterly. "Then I shall feel beyond depressed." She paused. "Man, I should have brought this up much sooner."
"Well, better late than never, I always say. Do you want to grab something to eat or drink?"
"We could go to a bar and get smashed. That'd be fun."
Jay laughed. "As fun as that would be, I haven't the time. I have an appointment early tomorrow morning that I cannot miss." He stood up and offered his hand to help Michelle up. She took it and stood with him.
"Ah, boo," said Michelle. "Well, have fun with that and be safe."
"I'm always safe, Elle." He smiled widely at her and got on his bike. "Come on, I'll drop you off, and then I have to go."
"All right." She got the blanket from off of the ground, put it away, and boarded the bike with her brother.
They arrived back at the park and Michelle thanked her brother one last time for helping her before he rode off. She then went into the house, into her room, and plunked onto a bed. She got back up with a start when she realized the fullness of there being a bed there. Who put this here? she thought. She was tired enough that she didn't really care. She looked over to the other side of the room and saw Renae lying there in her sleeping bag, drool pooling on the sleeping bag and getting dangerously close to the floor. Michelle shook her head and just turned over and went to sleep.
The following morning came too quickly for Michelle. Renae wasn't much help either. Michelle shuffled over to Renae and kicked her awake. "Ow! What was that for?!" asked Renae.
"It's morning, wake up," said Michelle drowsily. She shuffled over to the closet and brought out another set of clothes. She put on a robe and decided to take a shower. She came back 20 minutes later and Renae went in after her. They agreed to meet downstairs after Renae was done getting ready.
Michelle made a head-start for downstairs and got the coffee brewing. She knew Renae was an avid coffee-drinker. As for herself, she liked having a glass of milk every morning. As she sat at the table, drank her milk, and listened to the clock ticking, she thought about her life, a habit she did every morning she was alone.
Renae finally came down and poured coffee for herself. She then pulled cereal from the cupboard and had that for breakfast. "Aren't you going to eat something?"
"Maybe in a little bit. I don't know why I feel so tired," said Michelle. She got up and shuffled around until she had pancakes going. "Why am I making pancakes?"
"You made them the other day, why is it weird to you?"
"It's weird because the last time I made pancakes, other than the other day, it was for... someone else."
"Who?"
"My adoptive daughter from five years ago."
"What happened to her?"
"She died in a fire, remember?"
"Oh, yeah... you said that... last night."
"She had pancakes every day from age two to age 12. Then, she stopped having pancakes until that last day... I don't know why she wanted pancakes on that day, particularly, but she did... and... I haven't made pancakes since." A tear fell from her eye. She shrugged it off and kept making pancakes. When she had made four of them, she wrapped up three and prepared one for herself. She liked having butter and powdered sugar on her pancakes.
After breakfast, the chores were handed out. Michelle tried her best to avoid Skips as much as possible, but some little thing kept bringing her to him. These things included: "Hey, Skips, could you help me with this?" "Hey, Skips, can I ask you something?" "I just need to double check something..." It was awkward. Her desperate attempts to avoid him turned into desperate attempts to be with him.
That night, they all went out for Wing Kingdom. It was to make up for the night Michelle had missed. Things were starting to look up. Michelle laughed at the jokes and was, overall, in a very good mood. Then, she disappeared into her thoughts and was only brought back out of them by Skips.
"You all right, Michelle?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Skips, thank you," said Michelle. She twirled her finger on the table in figure eight patterns, trying to shut out everything.
"Are you sure?" asked Renae.
"Yeah... I just feel bad is all. It's like, I've learned to keep to myself, but that shuts out other people. I don't like doing that anymore. So..." Michelle pulled out a coin and was about ready to flip it. "Heads, I tell a secret that I have told to another living mortal soul; Tails, I tell a secret I haven't told to another living mortal soul."
"All right," said Renae.
"Okay... here we go." Michelle flipped the coin and wound up with tails. "How'd I know? Let's see..." Michelle thought. "All right, I got one. I once highlighted my feathers pink."
"Really?" asked Mordecai.
"Here, I've got a picture of it," said Michelle, taking out her smart phone. She pulled up the picture and passed it around. It was the same Michelle with light blue feathers only there was a lot of pink... everywhere.
"Whoa... let me go!" said Renae.
"All right," said Michelle while exchanging her phone for the coin. Renae flipped the coin and wound up with heads.
"Okay, this is something I've only told Michelle, so bear with me... one time, when I was drunk, I walked into a park and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was mistaken for a whole raccoon. I was never able to return to that park because of that," said Renae.
"Oh, yeah, and it turned out to be the East Pines park, didn't it?" asked Michelle.
"Oh, yeah... huh, I guess I forgot about that part," said Renae. The two girls high-fived and Michelle got her coin back.
"All right, I'll go again," said Michelle. She flipped the coin and got heads. "This is something I've only told Renae. A few years ago, I got a tattoo. This was a buzzed escapade. I was in between being aware and unaware of what was going on. It's located somewhere kinda low, but it's also pretty obvious, once you see it."
"What's it a tattoo of?" asked Mordecai.
"Oh, you know, it's one of those hearts with an arrow through it with a scroll on the front reading: 'Reserved for True Love.' It's kinda pointless since I have no idea who that is." Michelle shrugged. "Well, this has been a really nice evening. I thank you all for your company and kindness."
Michelle got up and Renae asked, "Where are you going?"
"Back to the park," replied Michelle.
"Alone?"
"You can come with me if you want. I just wanted to go for a walk."
"All right." So, Renae and Michelle walked back to the park. As they walked, Michelle thought in her mind, I have to make the decision soon... or else I'll be miserable for another half century. Michelle frowned while at the same time tried to keep it cool for her friend. After all, what kind of friend would she be if she ruined her friend's evening with something as commonplace as a little emotional pain and some spinal discomfort?
Okay, so Michelle's gonna be depressed for a little bit... sorry. That's just the way it has to go. I hope you guys like it so far and please keep reading and reviewing, thanks :)