I am in love with this chapter!
Seriously, it's one of my favorites! :)

Oh, and just saying, Chris and April may be a bit suggestive sometimes, and I just want to be clear that I'm not trying to offend anyone.
Yes, I get it...they are young and shouldn't be doing dirty things, but hello, has anyone ever tried to make a teenager listen when it comes to sex?
If so, you probably know how well that works.

Not saying that all teens are sex crazy, but I'm trying to be realistic, and a boy who has no strict parental influence is going to do almost whatever he wants.

So yeah...

Anyway, on with the story.. I hope you guys like!

Chris found April at her locker after fifth period.

"Hey you," he smiled.
She looked up at him, "Hey yourself."

"So, I have a question for you," he started, interested in why Damon wanted her over for dinner, but would use any excuse to see her in a place that wasn't school.

"No, Chris, I'm not going to finish your Algebra again. I've told you, if you don't know how to do it, you need to talk to Mrs. Anderson, because it's too hard to explain how we somehow get the same exact grade on every homework assignment, yet never on the test. I told you this last time you asked and-"

He leaned in, pecking her lips, "That's not what I was going to ask."
She smiled a little, "Okay, then what?"

He bit his lip, "Do you maybe want to come over for dinner tonight? At my house?"
Her brow raised, "On a school night? What's the occasion?"

He shrugged, "Damon wanted me to invite you."
The shock was evident on her face, but it was soon replaced by a grin, "That sounds great."

"So you'll come?" he verified.
She nodded, "Yeah! I'll have to ask my Dad of course, but I don't think he'd mind. He knows your Mom well enough to believe that she wouldn't let us do anything sinful."

Chris smirked, "Like that stopped us before…"
She smacked his arm, "Shh, he doesn't exactly know about our…extracurricular activities. And he doesn't need to find out via gossip."

She glanced around, and Chris chuckled, "Like anyone is really listening to us. Besides, what can he do? We're both minors. It's not like he can toss us in jail. And I'm probably already going to hell in a hand basket, so I doubt he can do much damnation to my eternal soul either."

She shook her head, "No, but he can ground me for the rest of my life, and tell your mother, who if you forgot is already juggling a lot. She doesn't need my Dad breathing down her back about her poor parenting choices, which you know is exactly what he'll do."

Chris scoffed, "Yeah, yeah, you made your point. Fine. No more sexy talk in the hallway."
Smiling, she gave him a small kiss, before throwing her bag over her shoulder, "Thank you. Now, I'll text him during lunch and let you know what he said."

"Okay, sounds good…see you next period?"
She nodded, letting him kiss her head before turning to go to her class down the hall.

He watched her for a moment, hoping the pastor would be generous today.

Elena was having entirely too good of a time.
Damon had played a few songs from his book, then some of his more recent ones.

Afterwards, they'd talked for a while, him telling her stories about him and his friend Alaric, who was still in L.A.
Apparently it had been a bit of a wild ride over the years.

She loved listening to his stories though, hearing about his life.

It made her feel a little better about giving him that freedom, even though he rightfully insisted that he'd have preferred to be a part of his son's life.
And she knew without a doubt that he would have been a good father.

Even in the short time he's known Chris, he'd proven that he was willing to do anything for just the chance to know him.
And anytime Elena mentioned him, Damon's eyes lit up.

She just wished that they'd known everything they knew now, back then.
She told him so, and Damon chuckled.

"Now why does that sound like a country song waiting to happen?"
She grinned, "Well you would know, wouldn't you?"

He smirked.

A cool breeze blew off the water and made her shiver.
Immediately, Damon was taking off his leather jacket, "Take this."

She shook her head, "No, it's okay, I'm fine."
He insisted though, "I didn't bring you out here so you could get even more sick, Elena. Just take it."

Sighing, she did as he asked, using it as a blanket to wrap around herself.
Damon's smell hit her nostrils, and she sighed, millions of memories coming forth.

"So why exactly did you bring me out here?" she inquired, "Really? It wasn't just to avoid running into people."

He was silent for a moment, looking out over the water.
"I guess this just feels more like common ground."

Her eyebrows pulled together, "Meaning?"

He finally looked at her, "Elena, I was gone a long time. I was stupid, and avoided everything about this town. I just wanted to put everything behind me, try to start a new life, where I could be someone else…but it didn't exactly work. Mystic Falls is still my home…but it's different now."

"How so?"

He sighed, "Mom and Dad have always had their own thing going, but you know my old room has been turned into a storage closet? Seriously. My bed is a maze behind ribbons, boxes, and lampshades."

She chuckled a little, but didn't interrupt.

"I guess I didn't expect things to be exactly the same…but seeing all these kids running around, knowing that most of the people we went to school with are long gone…it's just different. Then my home isn't even my home anymore…it's my parent's house. Not that I mind, but that's why it was kind of nice when you offered to let me stay with you and Chris. It actually gives me a chance to make a difference…you know, be here with a purpose."

She nodded, "So what's the problem?"

He ran a hand through his hair, "The problem, is that it isn't really mine either. You and Christian have this entire life, this routine worked out, and I'm suddenly dropping right in the middle of it. I'm glad, don't get me wrong! I want to be there, for Chris, and for you. I love getting to know him…but I'm still a stranger in so many ways. I guess I'm just still trying to work out where I fit in all of this."

His gaze dropped, and her heart ached.

Without hesitation, she reached over and took his hand, "You fit right here, Damon. None of us know what we're doing, but that's okay. We'll take it one day at a time, until it isn't as complicated."

He smiled a little, nodding, "You're right…but anyway, that's why I chose to come out here. I just figured that if this dock was still here, there was at least one place that you and I could be that is untouched by time. It's ours…a place where we can just be us, and not have to think about how nothing is ever going to be the same again."

"Nothing ever is going to be the same," she noted, finding her own eyes drifting across the water, "Things change Damon…that's life. This dock…this lake…it's a window to a simpler time, true, but it's still the past. Just like the current here, time is going to keep pushing us, changing things…and we can't stop it, even if we wanted to."

He nodded, "You're right, we can't. But that's what makes it so beautiful, Elena. Each moment that slips by us is one that we can never get back. It's a chance that's lost to us forever…so how can that do anything except make each one we do take all the more special?"

His eyes were darkened, and she got the feeling that they were talking about more than the lake here.
Something that she wasn't quite ready to face.

She sighed, pulling herself to her feet, "It's getting a little cold…can we go back to the car?"
He held her gaze for a second too long before nodded, and picking up his guitar as he stood.

She could feel his eyes on her as she walked in front of him, back to the Camaro.
She opened the back seat, and sat his jacket inside, shrugging off her own as well.

"I thought you were cold?" he pointed out, following her lead, and putting his guitar in the back seat.
"I am," she insisted, "But that thing is a little stiff, and I'm sure the car will be warm in no time."

She reached for the passenger door, but Damon hit the lock button on his keys before she could open it.

Blinking, she looked back at him, "What?"
He crossed his arms, "Reason two behind getting you out here…"

She waited.

"We need to talk about last night…and this morning."

She swallowed, her cheeks turning red, "There's nothing to talk about."
"The hell there isn't," he pressed, "You can play coy all you want Elena, but we need to talk about it."

"No we don't," she practically begged, "This morning meant nothing, and last night was just a nightmare, we just-"

"It was more than a damn nightmare," he insisted, "You were scared, Elena…scared that Chris was going to leave you...that I was going to leave you."
"It was a dream, Damon, it didn't mean anything."

His mouth was set, "Fine, I won't sugar coat it."
"Sugar coat what?" she demanded.

He uncrossed his arms, stepping forward until her body was trapped between him and the car, "I don't want to pretend that we don't feel anything, like we never meant anything to each other."

Her breath was caught, "I…I told you. We can't worry about us right now…Chris needs-"

"Chris needs his parents," he shot, "He needs both of us in his life. And he's going to have that either way. We don't have to work on being besties for his sake, Elena. We're two grown adults with a hell of a history. We owe it to ourselves to be happy, and I want you. I want to spend every night in that bed with you, and not have to sneak out in the morning so Chris doesn't get the wrong idea…I want to be there to help you, and not just with our son…with everything. I want you in my life too, not just him. I want you both. And I need to know-I have to know…if you want the same."

Elena swallowed, trying to clear her mind with him pressed against her this way, "Damon, I…"

She wasn't sure what to say. She wasn't sure what she could say. Every thought in her mind just seemed confused and jumbled, and his commanding tone wasn't helping.

His chest fell as he sighed, his expression hardening, "Got it."

He pulled away then, and she caught the hurt in his eyes, as he went to move around the car.
She flinched, "No, Damon, wait…"

He paused near the trunk, and she walked over to him, "Look, I don't know what I want, okay? I haven't had time to figure that out, and you can't expect me to just know," she looked directly into his eyes, "You hurt me, Damon."

"And you kept our son a secret from me, Elena. Neither of us can claim to be innocent in this mess. But unlike you, I'm not trying to hide from it."

She felt a flash of anger rise in her, "You think I'm hiding?"

"I think you're scared," he amended, "Scared to take the risk you'd have to in order to trust me. And I get that, I do, but I can't change the way I feel Elena. Hell, I can't ignore the fact that I am actually feeling again! This whole decade has been a drag for me. One concert to another to another with some parties in between…it's a sick cycle that I've been wasting away in…because I was scared too, Elena. Scared to come back, to accept that I was the one who did this. Who ruined a perfectly good thing in a moment of weakness…but I'm trying to make it right."

He exhaled, stepping closer to her, "Now you can keep on pretending like whatever this is, whatever we've been doing since we saw each other again means nothing, but I can't. I can't pretend with you…not after everything we've already lost."

Her gaze was on the ground as his words overwhelmed her.
Every bone in her was screaming to fall into his arms, let him take care of her, love her, and give her the world on a silver platter, but she couldn't.

She'd stopped believing in fairytales a long time ago, when the disappointment had became too much.

She brought her eyes to his, "You can say whatever you want about these epic moments, where we can change our lives…but in the end, they are still just moments, Damon. They'll come and they'll go, just like people."

He swallowed, "So that's what this is? You don't think I'll stay? Because a few minutes ago, you were telling me that I fit in here, with you, and with Chris."

"You do," she assured him, "But that's the problem! I can see it, Damon! Every damn thing you're telling me, I can see it. And yes, it scares the hell out of me! Because you do belong with us...with me. I've never felt anything for anybody what I still feel for you, but I can't give in to that! No matter how much every single part of me wants to, I can't! I can't let myself fall back in love with you, because I can't live through another heartbreak when I have to realize that I can't keep you, all over again."

The tears that sprang to her eyes only infuriated her more, and she hurried to wipe them away.

"What else do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not going anywhere?" he asked, "Because it seems like giving it time isn't going to make much of a difference if you've already decided to wait in the wings for that other shoe to drop. It's not fair to either of us, Elena, so please, just fucking tell me what I can do to get us past this?!"

"I don't know!" She cried, "You think I like feeling like this? You think I want to keep pushing you away? To place my heart on hold just so I can keep it together? Because I don't. It sucks! And it's your fault! I have major trust issues because of you, you know?! I have barely dated anyone, even after Chris was older. I've had sex all of three times in the past ten years, and I never trusted myself to try and look for love again. You took that from me!"

"Elena-", he started, but she shook her head.

"I am not done. You wanted to talk, well guess what, we're gonna talk! Because I am so sick and fucking tired of keeping all of this inside!"

He didn't comment, so she continued, "Eight years, Damon. That's how long it took me to realize that you were never coming back. Eight fucking years, of raising Christian, of having to look into his eyes, your eyes, every day, and know that I'd screwed up. I didn't tell you about Chris when I found out about the pregnancy, and after all these years, I didn't know how to just pop up into your life and be all 'Oh, by the way, you have a son.' I can admit that I made a mistake, but none of that would have even mattered if you hadn't of lied to me! You told me that it would be okay, Damon! You told me that we'd be fine, and then you came back for Christmas and ruined everything!"

"I thought I was protecting you," he defended, "I didn't want to hurt you, Elena!"

"No, you just let my father run doubts through your head. God, Damon, you should have known better! There was nothing in the world that was more important to me than you! I would have followed you through anything. I never needed money, or fame, or anything but you!"

"But you deserved all of that, Elena," he declared, "You deserved so much more than what I could give you!"

She shook her head, "I never wanted it! I only wanted you! And I want so much to hate you, for taking it all away, for nearly destroying me, but I can't, and I just- Urgh!"

She huffed, trying to calm herself.

Damon's hand was on her arm then, "It's okay to be angry…"

She pushed him away, "I'm not angry, Damon, I am pissed off! And I hate it! I hate having to be so put together, all the time! I hate having to look and act perfect, just to get through! You think you hate pretending? Ha! I've been doing it my entire life, Damon! I'm so sick of it! I hate it! But I can't stop being pissed! No matter how much I want to get over it, I can't!"

He grabbed her hand, "Then take it out on me!"

"What?"

His eyes were on fire, "Use me, Elena…let me help you."

She pulled at his grasp, "Let go of me."

He only brought her hand to his chest, "Let me bare this for you, baby."
She wanted to scream, "You don't get to call me that anymore!"

His hand tightened on hers, "Let go, Elena…just let go."

And god help her, but she did.

She raked her nails down his chest, hard enough to have drawn blood from beneath his shirt.
Then she brought her free arm up, slapping him, right across the face.

Something inside of her came loose then, and she did scream.
She screamed as tears fell freely down her face, and she just started swinging, hitting every part of him that she could reach.

Blinded by pain and fury, she lashed out, until finally, his arms came around her, locking her body against his own.

Then before she even knew what she was doing, she was grabbing his face, pulling him down, until their lips met.
He kissed her hard, and she clung to him with everything she had as she fell apart.

It was heaven and hellfire, scorching her with it's intensity.
And God, if it wasn't everything she remembered, and so much more.

Her body knew his.
Still, after all these years, it knew exactly how to mold into him, how to fight against his mouth for dominance, and how to stop herself from imploding in the passion.

His hands clamped onto her waist, and suddenly she was lifted, as he sat her on the trunk of the car, and stepped between her legs.
She wrapped them around his waist, her fingers diving into his hair, as he gave back everything she was demanding from him.

Everything she felt was him, and she hated this as much as she loved it.
Her nails dug into his neck, and he growled against her mouth.

So she bit his lip.

And he yanked her hair, settling her against his mouth the way he wanted.

These little punishments for everything they'd suffered because of each other.

It was exactly what she wanted, what she knew it would be.
But even still, it wasn't right…not like this.

She pulled away, shoving him back, forcefully.

Once some air came between them, she sobered, staring at him.
Damon was breathing hard, his hair a mess, his shirt ripped, and blood was dripping from his lip.

She had never wanted him more.

But it couldn't be like this.
"Not this way," she huffed, trying to catch her own breath, "We can't…not like this."

He nodded slowly, understanding.

She slid off the trunk, and straightened her own clothes.
Damon closed the space between them, cupping her cheek, "We'll figure this out, Elena...we will find our way back to each other."

She nodded, and he pulled her against him.

The tears were there again, and she didn't bother to fight them.
There was no point.

So instead, she let Damon wrap his arms around her, and she held onto him.

And as he whispered, "I'm so sorry," over and over, somehow, her heart began to hurt a little less.

Progress!

Okay, admit it, this chapter was AWESOME! Lol, I'm seriously in love with the way it turned out!

So what did you think?

Elena finally letting go?
Damon wanting her to use him to bare the pain that he caused her?
The KISS?!

Leave a review with your thoughts please! :)