AN: Hi folks, thank you so much to those of you who have read/reviewed/followed this story so far. I really appreciate all of your support, if it wasn't for that I would never have started this sequel.

I must apologise for the long delay in posting this new chapter - I really struggled with Monica as a character and trying to find her voice took a lot of trial and error before I got something that I was happy with. I hope that I've managed to portray her in a believable way that does some justice to her role in Blair's life. The views that she expresses are not mine, nor are they meant to cause offence to anyone, they are merely a possible reaction to discovering and disapproving of the fact that her daughter is a lesbian. If I made everyone accepting and happy there wouldn't be much of a story or at least this would be a very different type of story, one that I'm not sure I'd be the right person to write at this point.

The parts written in italics are flashbacks.

As usual this is unbeta'd and so any mistakes are my own, I shall fix them as I find them but as always if you see any just let me know and I'll do my best to fix them.

Special thanks as always go out to: Ltlconf (for all of your advice and talking me through the possibilities of this story, plus your help in discovering Monica's mind set!), PermanentProblem, ILoveXmas and BlindMoose for listening to me and encouraging me to write this sequel :)

I hope that you enjoy reading the chapter,

Jaxx

...

'The memory represents to us not what we choose but what it pleases'

Michel de Montaigne

…

Chapter 2: Conflicted Remembrances.

…

Monica smiled as she placed her hand on the large baby bump affectionately, the glow of pregnancy making her even more beautiful as her cheeks flushed with pleasure at the idea of once again being a mother. Blair was stunned – the last she had heard her mother was divorcing her latest husband, Stanley Hoffman III, and as far as she knew there was no one else. Surely she hadn't been so traumatised by this latest failed marriage that she'd had an affair before the divorce papers were signed? No, if she had done something like that Monica Warner-Hoffman wouldn't have been careless enough to fall pregnant by another man while still married. Especially when that soon to be ex-husband was as powerful as Stanley, her mother was too careful for something like that to have happened. Besides she just wasn't the type to be traumatised by a failed relationship. It wasn't that she was unfeeling, quite the opposite, but that she was pragmatic enough to realise when to make a clean break of things, when to move on to the next best thing. in fact she was always searching for the 'next best thing', even when she seemed happy and secure. It was something she had tried to instil in Blair from an early age but as she had grown up and grown closer to her roommates Blair had come to realise that just wasn't the way she wanted her life to be. She wanted something that her mother had never had and in Jo she believed she had found it at last.

'Yes darling… the baby is due within the month… Stanley is thrilled…'

'How?' then a more pressing question occurred to her 'Why didn't you tell me?'

'Surely the 'how' is no mystery to you Blair… even with this current… miscalculation…' her last comment was delivered in a dismissive tone, she didn't even glance in Jo's direction but it was as much for the brunette's ears as it was for Blair's. Probably more so.

'Mother! I love Jo and she…'

Monica dismissed her daughter's words with a wave of her hand, her dark brown eyes expressing her lack of interest in such protests. They were irrelevant as far as she was concerned, all that mattered was making Blair 'see sense', just as she had years before when her daughter had started having these… odd notions…

'My darling girl, I have no doubt that you believe that you're in love and I pity you for it. The fact of the matter is this – such a relationship is just not possible, it's social suicide. Even putting her gender aside this relationship is doomed to failure. Look at her, at her upbringing… she will never be more than a gang leader, a hooligan, and she has absolutely no prospects. She has nothing to offer you in return for all you'd give. Surely you see that?'

The tone that the older woman used was not unkind, in fact it sounded as if she were merely stating undisputed facts. All the same Jo could feel the fury flaring from deep within her and it took every ounce of her resolve not to lash out – that would be proving Monica right on some level and she wasn't about to lash out at a pregnant woman, regardless of the insults she was throwing around. Jo had never raised her hand to a vulnerable woman in her life and she wasn't about to do so now just because that woman was doing everything she could to belittle her relationship with Blair. It was hard not to respond though; the things that Monica was saying were like a knife being twisted within her very soul. How could Blair's mother think so badly of her? The woman was more than just beautiful, she was strikingly intelligent and cunning – she had pinpointed an area she knew to be Jo's weak spot and was now exploiting it in a cold, calculated way, her silky smooth tone doing little to dull the anguish her words created, waiting to see how far she could push the brunette before she lost it. It was a tactic that Jo knew, in time would be very effective and that scared her more than if the woman before her had come in ready to slug it out. A fist fight Jo could have handled, psychological warfare was something she knew would cause more lasting damage. She had to shake herself out of it, to concentrate on Blair, on their love and the trust they had in one another.

'What Jo has to offer me is more precious than any of your so called prospects, though for your information she has plenty, even if they aren't of value to you, and she certainly isn't a thug, she's a good, kind woman who saved my life or had you forgotten?'

'Whether she's the things you claim makes no difference, it's not my concern, but no I haven't forgotten and I truly am grateful to her for saving you. However you must see that the entire situation was of her creation...'

'You're wrong… it was Brock's doing, not hers…'

Again Monica silenced her daughter with a simple gesture. She wasn't here to debate the petty details. She was more concerned with the consequences, with persuading Blair to come to her senses before it was too late. The fact that her ex-husband was seriously giving the pair his blessing was an unexpected frustration. Ever since the fateful day she'd discovered Blair's secret she'd been certain that if David ever discovered the truth of their daughter's sexuality he'd be as dismayed as she was. She was absolutely convinced that he was only being so accepting in order to take the opposite point of view from her own. Then again he had always doted on Blair, perhaps he was simply being what he assumed was supportive, nothing could be less helpful to their daughter however – they must present a united front and show her how wrong this... lifestyle choice... was before it was too late.

'I have known the Worthington's for years Blair, Brock's father was my beau once upon a time…'

Listening to Monica talking about her as if she wasn't in the room, blaming her for everything that had happened to them, implying that she wasn't good enough and was only out for what she could get, was really getting to Jo. She had expected the woman to unleash her own fury directly whenever their paths finally crossed and had been prepared for the ensuing argument – she had even tried preparing a speech like she'd seen in the movies an 'I may not be what you want for Blair but I love her and she loves me' style speech. She hadn't exactly perfected it but that didn't matter anymore because right now the whole thing went straight out of the nearest window in favour of her own frustration.

'Oh for Christ's sake! Listen ta yerself! You've got no idea what Blair went through!' Not a good start Polniaczek she chided herself, now she'd done it!

The tone of Jo's voice seemed to change something within the older brunette and she turned on the object of her anger, unleashing a cold, calculated tirade, each accusation designed to draw Jo further into open conflict. The trap had been set and Jo couldn't believe she'd allowed herself to fall for it, yet she couldn't help it – she had to stand up for herself, stand up for Blair and all that they meant to one another. She only hoped she could keep her temper from derailing her rational mind any further.

'And you, how could I have been so trusting in your intentions? I thought you merely wanted to be Blair's friend, I had no idea you were seducing her this whole time! If I'd known for one moment of your intentions I'd have moved Blair as far from you as possible!'

'Now wait a minute… ya think that I PLANNED this?'

'That's exactly what I'm saying, you've been seducing Blair from the moment you arrived in Peekskill! Oh God why didn't I realise it before? Of all the schools I could have chosen…' Monica rubbed her temples, the tension of her apparent realisation too much for her to bear.

'Ya think I ain't good enough fer Blair? I love her and unlike yer precious Worthingtons I ain't never done nothin ta hurt her…'

Blair placed her hand on Jo's shoulder in understanding and instantly the former gang leader fell silent. She was so close to losing it completely and saying something she'd regret but Blair's touch calmed her enough to allow her to back down. Blair's own expression remained calm, though her brown eyes were swirling pools of anger, she seemed to be much better at hiding her feelings and Jo knew that she needed to take her girlfriend's lead on this or she'd show herself in a worse light than Monica already saw her in. She'd allowed herself to be trapped into an argument already; she had to avoid making things worse. Knowing it and acting accordingly were two very different things and in honesty she wasn't exactly sure how she could possibly make things worse right now. The entire situation was made more difficult by the fact that Jo had, up until this time, truly believed that Monica liked her – she had always treated her in a friendly manner and though they hadn't exactly spoken much throughout her time in Peekskill she had always thought that Blair's mother respected the effort she'd put in to try and make a better life for herself. Now the woman seemed to regard her with barely concealed disdain. Was it so hard for her to believe that Jo genuinely loved Blair? Did she seriously believe that Jo was simply looking to seduce her daughter for her money? Or was her reaction about more than that? Could it be that, just like Jo's father, Monica just couldn't get over the fact that Blair was a lesbian? It was probably easier to lay the 'blame' for that on Jo's doorstep than to believe that it was true. Thinking of her own father's rejection of her made Jo wince inwardly, it still hurt so much to think that he didn't want anything more to do with her; she really hoped that Blair could work things out with Monica. She knew that losing her mother would be a devastating blow to her girlfriend.

'Perhaps this is a conversation for another time? You need to calm down Monica, you too Jo…' Mrs Garrett had been watching the exchange with nervous apprehension, uncertain of how to stop the worst of it, she was only too aware of Monica's feelings about Blair's new romance and she had tried her best to calm the other woman before her daughter had returned; now she found herself in the unenviable position of referee.

Monica, knowing that to continue now that Mrs Garrett had intervened would not be the best tactic immediately backed down.

'Of course Mrs Garrett, I apologise, this situation is extremely upsetting as you can imagine. I'd like to have some time alone with my daughter, there's much for us to discuss…'

Jo for her part was having a difficult time switching from the anger that coursed through her veins, she was a passionate young woman, used to following through on her feelings of anger or injustice and to refrain from doing so was an alien concept to her. Sure she had grown better able to control her anger in certain situations during her time in Peekskill but this wasn't one of those times. The only thing stopping her from speaking her mind at that moment was Blair; instead Jo put her arm around Blair's waist pulling her closer showing Monica that they were in this together. Blair responded by mirroring her girlfriend's actions.

'Anything you have to say can be said in front of Jo…'

'Perhaps, but it's been so long since we've spent any time together Blair, I've missed you…'

'I've missed you too…'

'Then sit with me a while, just the two of us…'

The tension that had been building seemed to dissipate so suddenly that Jo had a hard time understanding how or why it had happened. Jo's own experience of family disputes was very different, you didn't suddenly stop and decide to spend time together; you fought it out until one of you stormed out, lashed out, or won the argument. This behaviour was distinctly weird, but Blair seemed to understand it and Monica was her mom so who was Jo to say it was weird, even if it was?

Blair looked to her girlfriend uncertain what to do silently asking questions she couldn't give voice to 'should I do as she asks? If I do are you going to be alright?' Blair was making it plain that she wouldn't do anything that would upset her delinquent, not seeking permission but making certain that she wouldn't be doing something to hurt her girlfriend. Jo's anger towards Monica softened as she gazed into Blair's eyes seeking to reassure her debutante 'I won't stop you spending time with your mom, but I'll be right here if you need me.' Monica watched the looks that passed between the two young women with curiosity. They had supposedly been romantically involved, if one could call it that, for only a matter of weeks, how was it then that they had already developed that secret language reserved only for lovers in the most committed of relationships? There was a tenderness in their interactions that she had seen on only the rarest if occasions. It was unsettling and she realised that a part of her envied her daughter. No that was nonsense she must stop thinking of them in such a context, she couldn't accept that they were 'together' it just wasn't right.

'I'll be in the kitchen with Mrs G if ya need me babe…' Jo released her hold of the blonde but not before placing a brief, reassuring, kiss upon her lips, for her part Blair would have liked to return the kiss with more fervour but now wasn't the time – her mother would lose it completely and that would help no one.

Blair nodded, squeezing Jo's hand before reluctantly letting go and turning to her mother, whose eyes had widened at the sight of their kiss, gesturing to the couch. Monica snapped out of her apparent trance and placed her hand at the small of her daughter's back. As much a gesture of possession as it was a gesture of love – a warning to Jo which the Bronx native didn't miss.

…

'I can't believe she just showed up like that! Not a goddamned word throughout the whole damn trial and then suddenly she's here tellin us the whole thing was my fault!' Jo was trying to remain calm, she was trying not to raise her voice – she didn't want Monica to hear that she was rattled.

The former Young Diablo was pacing the kitchen frantically, her hands animated in her frustration. Today had been such a good day, now she feared she would lose Blair to Monica's persuasive ways. God how she wished she knew what they were talking about. She wished she'd insisted they stop at the Chug a Lug or something. Anything to have avoided a confrontation with Blair's formidable, sophisticated, terrifyingly persuasive mother. Then again they had known that this conversation would have to take place eventually. Jo knew how painful it was to lose a parent, she didn't want Blair to go through that… but at the same time she didn't want to lose Blair. She knew this was stupid, irrational, Blair had no intention of giving up on the love they shared, but part of her was convinced that Monica would be just persuasive enough.

'Calm down Jo, and please don't swear…'

'I'm sorry Mrs G.' Jo stopped pacing and had the good sense to look sorry even under the circumstances; she knew Mrs Garrett disapproved of swearing regardless of the situation. 'But she's in there right now convincing Blair that I ain't good enough fer her…'

'She can try all she likes to convince Blair of that, but in the end it's Blair's choice…'

'But what if she does?'

'Oh Jo, honey… she won't… Blair loves you.'

'I know she does Mrs G… but…'

'Now you stop right there. If your father had turned up here today instead of Monica would he have any chance of convincing you to stop loving Blair?'

'Of course not! Blair's the best thing that ever happened ta me…'

'Then have more faith in Blair's love for you, she's stood by you through the darkest time in your lives why would she suddenly stop loving you?'

Jo knew that her friend and mentor was right, but that didn't stop her from being afraid of losing Blair. In her heart she knew that the blonde debutante loved her and God knew how much she loved Blair but there were still those nagging doubts, the tangible fear that things would go wrong, that she wasn't good enough for someone like Blair. She knew she would have to get past that doubt for it was that doubt that Monica could use to her advantage.

'Now, sit down and tell me how the trials went today…'

…

As soon as Jo had left the room with Mrs Garrett Blair noticed her mother looked much more relaxed and seemed pleased to spend some time together, updating her on all of the things that she had seen and the people she had met while in France. It was good to see her and Blair easily fell into their old routine of chatting amiably about 'society' while drinking the tea that Mrs Garrett had left them. It was comfortingly familiar, even down to her mother's chat about men she had met. Blair was only too aware that this harmony between them couldn't last long, not when her mother was so intent on forcing her to 'see sense' as she had put it in a recent phone call. The conversation of minutes ago had been difficult, painful and Blair knew that 'spending time together' was a ploy on her mother's part to get her alone - the subject of Jo's unsuitability, of the unsuitability of Blair herself being a lesbian wasn't going to be far away. There was something else too, something that Blair couldn't stop thinking about, an issue that had burned in her heart since the very moment that she'd found that not only was her father accepting of her relationship with Jo but that he didn't seem to have a problem with his daughter being a lesbian at all. The more she thought about it the more she had to know why her mother had lied to her all those years ago, why had she made her go through this charade of 'boy crazy Blair' – the charade had been torturous and it had almost lost her Jo.

'You told me Daddy would hate me…'

Monica immediately stopped drinking her tea and placed the cup and saucer back onto the coffee table, fussing with her short hair before turning on the sofa so she could face Blair properly. She didn't answer right away, she'd known that her daughter would begin asking questions the moment she'd heard that David had given his 'blessing' to this ridiculous affair! That didn't mean that she was prepared for the wounded look in her daughter's eyes. She had, despite how it appeared, never intended to hurt Blair. She simply wanted to protect her, to do what was 'best' for her. Living her life as a lesbian in a society such as theirs just wasn't what was best. How could it be?

'You were about to throw your life away and I couldn't allow that… you're doing the same thing now…'

'I'm not throwing my life away, Jo makes me happy and I love her…'

'You thought you were in love with Amber Coleman too…'

Hearing the name was enough to send Blair reeling for a moment; she'd done everything she could to avoid thinking of the girl she hadn't seen in seven years. It wasn't until she had met Jo that her broken heart had begun to mend.

'That was different… I was only fourteen and she wasn't Jo…'

…

It was the last day of the semester, the sudden summer rain made both girls giggle as they ran to the shelter of the nearest tree. They could hear the honey sweet voice of the headmistress as she addressed the graduating class in front of their parents. Blair briefly wondered what her own high school graduation would be like, she was getting good grades and she was sure to make Valedictorian.

Amber held her hand tightly as they ran and Blair found she couldn't stop smiling at how perfect the day had been so far, with the teachers and other students distracted by graduation they had found themselves free to do whatever they wanted. It was a liberating feeling. Neither of them had siblings in the graduating class and so they were exempt from attending, instead they had been instructed to spend their day packing in preparation for the long journey to their respective homes but it was summer and packing could wait. They wanted to spend their last day together.

She had never met anyone like Amber Coleman, she was a year older than Blair, her raven hair and dark blue eyes dazzled, her wit and easy going nature drew people to her, yet there was something else that drew Blair. Something she simply couldn't explain. At first she'd thought that, just like everyone else she'd been drawn to Amber because of her charm, but that wasn't it at all. Blair had met many charming girls in her time at boarding school, so many in fact that their charms melded into one so that they seemed to be almost the same girl, and in her experience she had never met anyone who captivated her in quite this way. Her stomach did a little flip just thinking about her, the sound of her name made her smile and she found herself making excuses to spend time with her, which had never happened with anyone else. Never. She blushed at the thought, hoping that her best friend would think that her cheeks were flushed from a mixture of the rain and the short run. But Amber knew her better than that. They had been roommates since Blair's arrival at New Year and she marvelled at how close they had become in that time. She had never cared for anyone the way she cared for this girl in her whole life. She was truly beautiful.

'What're you thinking about Blair?'

'Nothing…'

'It's ok, you can tell me…' Amber was thoughtful for a moment before she added 'I promise I won't tell anyone else.'

'It's not important. Believe me.'

Again the raven haired girl seemed thoughtful, as though she had something important on her mind but wasn't sure how to say it or even if she should. They were standing under the tree now and somehow Amber had slipped her arms around Blair's waist, pulling her close. Blair could think of nowhere she would rather be as she leaned into her friend's embrace. She found herself gazing, not for the first time into dark blue eyes and was mesmerised by the intensity of the gaze which mirrored her own. Her heart was thudding in her chest, her mouth felt dry, she placed her own arms around the girl who had become her most trusted friend and it felt unbelievably right.

I don't want to go home…'

'I know what you mean… I don't know what I'll do without you…'

'You'll always have me Blair, no matter what…'

Amber was slightly taller but she closed the distance between them with surprising swiftness as she placed a gentle kiss on Blair's lips. The kiss was chaste but Blair knew that her friend was testing her, trying to gauge whether she had imagined their growing closeness over the last few months. Her heart soared with the sudden realisation that she hadn't been alone, that the feelings she'd been hiding for so long were reciprocated. It was more than she'd dared hope.

'I'm sorry… I shouldn't have done that…' Amber's voice was husky as she made to step back, looking into Blair's eyes to seek answers to the questions her heart desperately asked.

Blair shook her head, unable to form words of her own and for a moment she could see the disappointment in expressive blue, then she reached up and kissed her for all she was worth. She had never kissed anyone with such passion, such need, but she had to make Amber understand how she felt.

…

The memory of that first kiss made Blair shiver, it felt so vivid, so real but then so did the bitterness of losing the girl her mother had made her give up. Within weeks Monica had discovered the truth of their fledgling relationship reacting with a fury the likes of which she had never seen before or since. At the end of the longest, most despairing, summer she'd experienced since her parent's divorce she had been packed off to Eastland despite begging to be sent back to her former school. Upon arriving in Peekskill Blair had been an emotional wreck, trying to hide her distress behind a façade of rebellion which had forced her into the 'wrong crowd' for a time before Mrs Garrett had taken her under her wing. The ultimatum her mother had given had been devastating, she'd been forced to become 'boy crazy Blair Warner' to behave otherwise would, her mother warned, mean losing everything she held dear. Convinced that her father would disinherit her the second he discovered the truth Blair had created a persona that had everybody fooled. It had even fooled Jo to the point that she had almost lost her. Knowing now that her father wouldn't have disowned her made it all the more bitter, yet she couldn't help feeling fortunate – if she'd stayed with Amber, she wouldn't have gone to Eastland and if she hadn't been at Eastland she would never have met Jo. She wondered if Amber had been lucky enough to find her own soul mate… Lost in her own thoughts it took her a few moments to realise that her mother was speaking rather animatedly to her.

'Now sweetheart I don't mean to be indelicate but you've been sharing a room this whole time…Oh my darling please tell me you haven't done anything reckless!' the implication was clear and the older woman's hands went to her face in disgust, as if she couldn't stomach the images that her thoughts had conjured.

'We only started seeing one another recently… Jo and I haven't…' Blair blushed without saying another word but she kept her eyes focused on her mother.

It was true, much as they wanted to; they hadn't had the courage or indeed the opportunity to take that final step in their relationship, not yet. They wanted their first time together to be special, they had been dreaming of being together for so long that they wanted everything to be perfect. They were still sharing a room with Natalie and Tootie meaning their time together was far from private. Not that she was about to explain that to her mother, not with her spouting her irrational poison, baiting Jo and trying to rattle them both. Besides it really wasn't anyone's business but theirs. She knew that when they were ready to take that final step it would be well worth the wait. She couldn't imagine taking that step with anyone but Jo.

The look on Monica's face was one of sheer relief, as if one of her greatest fears had been washed away and now looked harmless. She realised that her fears had been ridiculously unfounded – Mrs Garrett was a good guardian to her daughter after all and there was no reason to think that she would have stood for anything… untoward… happening under her own roof.

'You can't possibly love her my darling, not in 'that' way… just like you didn't really love Amber… Jo's your friend, your best friend and I understand how close you are to her but it's not the same as being in love with her…'

'Why can't you accept me as I am?' Blair's frustration with her mother's medieval attitude made her weary.

'Because in our world being as different as you seem to believe you are destroys a person… I can't allow you to throw everything our family has worked for away…'

'So that's it? It's all about YOUR reputation? If Jo were a man you wouldn't have an issue with it?'

'I'd have less of an issue darling but let's be honest, even if Jo were a man what could someone like her possibly offer you? When you graduate from Langley you will be able to do anything your heart desires – travel the world, go on to a prestigious Law School, you're the heiress to Warner Industries, you have the intelligence, the drive, the social standing and the money to succeed at anything you turn your hand to. What will Jo have? She'll have a degree earned from a prestigious College, and for that I must admire her, but what will she do afterwards? She'll still be the penniless, thug from the Bronx and there are only so many doors open to her. If she's with you however, more doors will open…'

'If you think that Jo is using me you couldn't be more wrong!' Blair was on her feet now, her mother had gone too far.

'Blair…'

'I don't want to talk about this anymore; I won't have you speaking about Jo in that way.'

'I'm simply trying to make you see how this appears to outsiders…'

'So you don't believe it?'

Monica hesitated just a little too long and Blair instantly knew the answer.

'That's what I thought. It was lovely to see you mother, but if you'll excuse me I have an assignment due on Monday and Jo promised she'd help me with it. Goodnight…'

The affectionate tone she always reserved for her mother had been replaced by sheer ice as she kissed her cheek, more out of duty than anything else and then headed straight for the kitchen without another word, leaving Monica stunned. This was going to be much harder than she'd thought. If only her daughter were fourteen again, then things would be much simpler.