Hello, loves!

Kind of a shorter chapter today, but nothing but Tarsus backstory. I will have the next chapter up soon, so I hope you all enjoy this and can leave me a lovely review!

Kisses!

MD

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or any part of the franchise. I gain nothing from writing this other than creative satisfaction.

Fortunately, the heater had been exactly what her group had needed to battle the bitter frost of the oncoming winter. Compounded with the mountain of clothes and medicinal supplies, and three of the sick children had made speedy recoveries.

Unfortunately, two had not.

Their loss had struck all of them hard, but none so much as Addy. She took their deaths personally, and for days berated herself for putting off the necessary trip into town, internalizing her guilt so much that for all intents and purposes, she seemed completely unfazed, save the bitter sheen in her eyes. She allowed a small memorial service for the two girls that had passed (they were so small) before soliciting the help of a boy named Abraham. He was the second oldest out of them all, and seemed to know them both personally. Him and Addy hauled the bodies far enough away from the cave that any predators attracted by the scent of meat wouldn't stumble upon the children and ravish them all as easy pickings. She couldn't do much by way of burying them since she only had her hands and the rocks around her, so their graves were shallow, but she did the best she could under the circumstances. She wished she could do more for them, give them the proper burial they deserved, do something to make up for her shortcomings, but they were taken care of, and she couldn't afford to lose focus of the other 18 children waiting for her leadership.

And beyond that grief that everyone now shared in, hunger was a constant in their lives. Always it was deep in their eyes, a dullness that stole the fire that would otherwise make them play and romp around. She had to make the food she'd pinched last as long as she could, so no one ever got enough to truly feel full, and it was starting to show. Faces plump with baby fat were slim and gaunt. Joints were too large, bellies distended with the fatty cells eaten away. She was at a loss

Unless she went back into town.

When she brought the idea to the people she considered the next in command to her (the top five oldest in the group), they all scorned the idea. Passionately. Some with curses after the story of their last mishap. (Addy refused to admit how much their concern touched her.) In the end, she concede only because they came up with an alternative. Auriel's father and four older brothers had always been the homesteading/survivalist type and she was much more savvy in taking care of herself by using the natural resources around her than she looked in her painted nails and short, brunette bob. When she offered this alternative, everyone accepted this plan with much more grace.

However, Addy hadn't anticipated how chatty Auriel would be when they set out to set up traps in the forest around the cave. The older girl never shut up. As a result, Addy learned the 15 year-old girl was a human-Orion hybrid, taking after her human father's biology rath than her mother's. She was the youngest of seven with two sisters. Her mom had died when she was young, and her father murdered here on Tarsus, along with three of her siblings. Her favorite color was purple, her favorite food chocolate cake, and she played the violin. She loves science and math, and detested art and foreign languages, and she dreamed of being a forensic toxicologist.

All the talk at first stressed poor Addy out immensely. She was bad at socializing on a good day, having been ostracized back home. She was always awkward and blunt in conversations, coming across as harsh when really she was shy and had no idea what to say, opting for the truth when people felt it to be more spite than honesty. She'd worried that Auriel expected the same degree of emotional candidness she was giving her, and that when she opened her mouth, the brunette would scorn her like all the others, but after ten minutes of a constant stream of consciousness, she relaxed. Through listening and carefully watching the older teen's body language, she deduced that Auriel talked when her nerves were high strung, and she wasn't expecting Addy to say much of anything. She was more than content with letting the older girl dominate the conversation while they worked, only speaking to further a certain topic or show that she was indeed listening. When all was said and done, they'd sent up plenty of rudimentary but functional traps and snares (Addy grudgingly sacrificing some of their meager food for bait), and she had a much more detailed picture about the older teen than before, along with a few shattered stereotypes about the girl.

It had taken the better portion of three hours to complete their task when they returned to the cave. Despite how much she was shaking out of hunger after such physical work, Addy checked in with Kevin before she ate. The rest of the children all knew that the toddler was her favorite. Whenever she returned, she sought him out above all others, and she always gave him his food first (though she was fair in the amount she delegated to everyone), and never did she sleep as close to anyone else. She held Kevin where she shied away from touching anyone else, and he was the only one that could wrangle a genuine smile out of her, however small and brief they were. But oddly, no one minded or wasted time on petty jealousy. Maybe in some sense, they all realized just how much of herself Addy let die in order to make sure they lived above all else, and they didn't feel right asking for her affection on top of her humanity. They had both either way, it was just that Kevin always had it first and foremost. He'd been the first breath of fresh air in the shitstain that was her life, and that impression would stay with her for many years to come.

Everyone was overjoyed to discover Auriel's were not just successful, they were deadly, and the girl smiled at all the praise, but it was the curt nod and smallest of smiles from Addy that made her face flush. It was a simple matter, when they'd retrieved all their game, of building a fire and crude spits. Auriel herself didn't have the stomach to skin and gut the creatures, so she instructed their fearless leader in the art of preparing meat strips to be cooked and left her to it, giving her strict instructions to do it away from the cave and bury all the blood that got in the ground, even washing everything in the lake if it was possible. Blood didn't bother Addy anymore. She was indifferent, maybe even comforted by the smell in certain situations. It made her chuckle darkly in her own mind to think how disturbed she must be to adjust so quickly to something so grisly. She would make an interesting patient for any competent psychologist.

Not that she really believed she'd get off this planet alive to see one.

The spirits of every person in the cave rose with the cooked meat (which tasted a lot like lamb), however bland it was. Addy's children fell asleep in their warm huddle that night not full exactly, but noticeably less hungry than when they'd woken up. It was a good day. Hell, it was a good week, their snares were so successful. But it was Adelaide, and her lot in life had a knack for being extraordinarily shitty, so of course, it didn't last long.

With the weather quickly becoming more and more frigid each night, fewer animals could be found out in the forest. Addy suspected they burrowed in caves much like this one to hibernate, but seeing as that put her back at square one, she was less intrigued and more irritated. Actually, she was ever worse than her "square one" problem, because they'd still worked through some of their rations, despite the added meat to their meals. Again they were presented with the immediate obstacle of starvation with only so long to put it off, and this time there weren't any other options.

When Addy brought this up, it was again met with the same level of intolerance, but they suffered the loss of giving her an alternative. In the end, she said their opinion didn't much matter, because this was what was needed of her, so she would go with or without their permission and they wouldn't do a damn thing to stop her, but it would certainly be easier if she could have someone come with her so she could carry more food back. They'd fussed, but relented in the end. She was pleased when all five of them volunteered to go with her, but not really so surprised.

Addy picked two of them and one of the younger kids to come with her. Auriel, a boy barely younger than her named Thomas, and another named Reid. He was, by far, the oldest of their group at the tender age of 18, and also the quietest. It was not for lack of intelligence that he rarely spoke. Reid simply kept his own counsel, only speaking when he felt it necessary. She didn't see it as a rebellion against her or a means to usurp her place. He just didn't like to talk, making observations and keeping the conclusions locked away in his head. Tactically, it was usually the smartest route to take, and Addy did much of the same as him. She felt a kindred spirit of sorts in him, and she needed him for his strength.

Thomas, on the opposite end of the spectrum, was rather small and weak, but she'd seen him shoot the phaser and he was deadly, and she wanted him if only for that reason. Auriel she'd picked because in spite of how talkative and feminine she was (clashing greatly with Addy's own darker personality), she didn't expect anything from the blonde girl, or impose on her. It was for this reason she felt safe to Addy. Almost comfortable, if you will. If she'd been better at normal human interactions, she might have called the brunette a friend.

Addy grabbed all the bags she'd stolen from Justin's house and given one to each of them, hoping (but doubting) she'd fill them all with things for her kids. She didn't even entertain the idea she would be able to get more than these four bags.

As before, she took her knife. She gave the phasers to the other three only to be used if hiding or esape wasn't an option for them. She'd already sufficiently proven that she didn't need advanced weaponry to hold her own, even against adults. Her kitchen knife hung through her now fracying belt loop as they walked in silence through the darkening woods. The sun was inching closer to the horizon, and Addy wanted to do this under cover of dark this time, despite how much she hated being in the forest at night. She'd learned her lesson last time, trying to get away when the sun still hung bright and treacherous in the sky.

The others talked in subdued tones while Addy led them dutifully through the expansive growth of vegetation. She wasn't listening to their conversations, too busy debating the best way to execute this with minimal risk of discovery, so she didn't notice at first that she'd been addressed. When she did, she suppressed a grimace. They were still an hour away from town at best. Did they really expect her to talk that whole time?

"What was that?" she asked stupidly. Thomas grinned in the green and purple light of sunset as he caught up to her, matching her pace evenly.

"We were sharing stories of what our lives were like before… before we came here. What's your story?" Addy was instantly thankful for the shadows of sunset so that the expression on her face went unseen. It was neither pretty nor kind.

She thought of the farm house in Riverside, how it always smelled of alcohol and despair, and empty beer cans littered the floor. The cold glances at school as eyes slipped over her like she didn't exist. The harsh pain as the man trusted to protect and raise her turned around and beat her senseless damn near every night. The apathy from her brother, the rejection from her mother when she'd opened up about Frank, and the remnants of a great man she'd been deprived of knowing all over the house. The books that sated her curiosity, but never her loneliness. The constant panic that she didn't need to do more to set Frank off than breathe loud enough for him to hear. That this time he would snap and go too far, and a broken rib would puncture her lungs, or he'd rupture something and she'd die from internal bleeding. The way she could never really relax because there was always Frank or local bullies to fend off. How she was never sure she had a next meal because her step-father took too much joy in starving her, so she'd have to resort to shoplifting from the store. The overpowering, all-consuming ache for a connection to someone that wasn't in the words of a book. The desire for some kind of validation that her life fucking meant something to someone, and at least one person cared if she died. That she was important. That was wanted.

"To be honest," Addy responded in a quiet, somber voice, "it was a lot like this." She could feel more than see Thomas frown, and they all walked on in silence (blessed silence) processing the information before he spoke up again.

"For what it's worth… I'm sorry." Thomas' voice was soft and compassionate. It made Addy's palms sweat and her head throb. She shifted her bag uncomfortable and shrugged.

"Thanks, I guess."

"Well I, for one, can't wait to get off this stupid hunk of dirt! I miss taking a real bath!" Addy silently praised Auriel in every language she knew for the topic change. Thomas fell behind one again to give his thoughts on the first thing he's do when he got home (it involved gorging himself on burgers), and Addy let out her breath slowly. She wasn't given much of a respite, however, and Reid soon took the younger boy's place, making her tense.

"Pretty shitty life to have back home," he murmured. Addy snorted derisively.

"I don't have a home," she retorted dryly. Reid looked down at her thoughtfully in the fading lights, his response a long time coming while the others giggled behind them over something they'd said.

"We will always be your home, Addy." The force of such a simple statement struck her deep. Something withered and dead fluttered in her chest like a bird begging for release, and to horror, she named it as hope. Her eyes stung, and she flushed in shame at the impulse to cry. Addy blinked until the pressure in her eyes went away, and gave Reid a sharp nod in lieu of a response. If he'd noticed her struggle for composure (which she knew had had, the sly bastard), he had the grace not to say anything.

Much to her relief, her companions left her alone after that, and she spent the rest of the time thinking of a plan of action. On the one hand, she could try and fill the bags on her own, one by one. It would take much more time, but it greatly lessened the chance of getting caught by someone. On the other, they could all venture into town and scrounge up as much as they could before fleeing back to the cave. It was much more dangerous, but also meant they would spend less time in town, which had its own merits. She knew all three of them were deathly afraid of the town, and she didn't scorn them for it, but she also knew that if she asked it of them, they would leave the forest without complaint.

She was at a crossroads.

Only when they got to the edge of the forest and she could observe things did she come to a decision. The increase of patrols and adults told her they'd found the three corpses she'd left on her last trip. That also meant they knew there were survivors, and these survivors were prepared to use deadly force to stay alive. No way was she risking the other three going into town with her. They hadn't grown up the way she had, they didn't move as silent as she did, and they would surely be caught, and Addy would sooner cut off her own head than make it easier for one of her children to be captured. They did not, however, agree.

"The fuck I'm staying here again!" Auriel snapped in a harsh whisper. Addy narrowed her eyes at the defiance.

"Yeah!" Thomas agreed. "We came here to help, so let us help!"

"The best way to help me is to say here. There are too many people out tonight, and it will be easier for me to just take the bags, fill them, and bring them back to you guys while you stay here and lay low." Auriel opened her mouth to give her a retort, but Addy silenced her with an icy glare. "Save it. I'm not negotiating this with you. Stay here, make sure everyone gets this food if something happens to me. And for the love of God, don't make a fucking sound!"

Taking off her shoes, Addy waited until it looked like there was a lull in foot traffic and ran to the closest house, which was much closer to the line of trees than last time. A quick, furtive look inside the house, and it appeared abandoned. She took her knife out, comforted by the feel of the handle, and tried the doors, allowing herself a smile when it opened. There wasn't much by way of food that was still safe to eat in the kitchen, but an inspection of the bathrooms proved there was plenty more medical supplies she could pilfer. She had one of the smaller backpacks, and filled a quarter of the space with the first house. Hopefully, she looked through the house for another heater, but was fruitless in her efforts. She wasn't surprised, though. This house was nowhere near as pristine or sophisticated as Justin's.

Addy was able to slip out the door and into the next house through busted doors without notice and quickly ransacked that house for more food and medicine. She stuffed the rest of the space with clothes to secure the oddly shaped boxes and bottles, hoping to suppress the noise, and slipped out the back, sticking to the shadows and making a beeline for the forest as soon as she was able. She took the other bag from Reid wordlessly, handing him the filled backpack while Thomas and Auriel ignored her stubbornly. With a roll of her eyes, she waited for the danger to pass before dashing to the closest house once more.

This bag took more time and danger to fill as it was one of the duffels and much larger. She was dismayed by the scant amount of food in the houses and supposed the rest of the settlers had finally gone through the houses and gathered what food they could. It would explain all the open doors she was finding anyway, but it presented an interesting issue. If they were smart, they would gather what food they could, preserves, grains, fruits, whatehaveyou, and store it somewhere it would all keep. This suggested either in a building with temperature controls, or the ground itself. Though Addy doubted there was much food left that wasn't in cans or sealed jars. Fruits and vegetables would have spoiled at least a week ago unless they were frozen. She pondered all this while she finished filling the duffel and snuck her way back to her companions.

In quick, hushed whispers, she told the other three her suspicions, asking what they thought was the best course of action. Thomas said the warehouse made the most sense to him. Auriel thought a cellar in the ground was what to look for. Reid thought about it for a long time before saying that either way, they had no idea knowing where it would be, and the town was too big for Addy to search by herself. She hated him a little bit in the moment and almost growled at the thought of them walking the streets and in danger, but damn him, he was right. It could take her all night prowling these streets, and she still might not find their food storage.

Addy, much to her displeasure, guided them inside the closest house individually, the hairs on her arms already standing on end. She made them swear to meet back here in one hour, no matter what they found, and sent them off in different directions with tips on how to avoid detection and stay silent. As soon as they left her sight, she started to fret and contemplated following them. She hated to let them go when around any corner could be capture or death, and how would she know they weren't alright if they weren't hiding or right next to? Fuck, she couldn't concentrate.

In the hour, she did her very best to focus and search as diligently as she could, but some parts of town were just too full of people, and she didn't want to risk exposure. But she found no evidence of either a town cellar or warehouse and was the first to return to the abandoned house. She spent her time waiting by walking a hole in the carpet. Auriel was the first to return, and when she stepped through the door, Addy walked right up to her and brushed her fingers of the brunette's forehead without a word. She just stared into the girl's blue eyes, and tried to calm her nerves. At least one of her children was safe. Thomas and Reid both returned soon after, and Addy copied the ritual with both of them, ghosting her fingers over their face and starting into their eyes until she felt her worry finally subside. To their credit, none of them said anything.

In fact, they almost seemed reverent of her rare show of emotion, and Adelaide could see her own emotions reflected back in their eyes, but it became too much, too close, and she had to look away and put her walls back in place before asking for a report.

Auriel and Thomas had much the same luck finding a central place where all the food was kept, but they'd come across several houses that looked promising. She asked for locations and made a mental note of them in the town map she kept in her head to empty if Reid had nothing for her.

He didn't.

Refusing to feel disappointed, she ordered them back to the forest to hide, and this time she didn't even need to silence their protests because they spared her from them. They did, however, leave the two other bags for her. It took her two hours to get to those houses (she was seen three time, but she was able to lose them by ducking into random houses) and fill up her bags, and she contemplated trying to find more bags because there was an excess of food in the last house, and Addy really hated leaving anything behind when her kids needed it so badly, but she couldn't afford the extra weight. Or time. She'd already spent too much time away from her three helpers, and she was antsy to get back to the cover of the trees.

It was much easier to sneak around when it was completely dark out. The moons of Tarsus had set an hour ago, leaving little light to see by, which suited Addy's needs perfectly, and it was a relatively painless process getting back, save for the rock she stubbed her toe on.

Her three companions all let out audible sighs of relief when she glided through the shrubs to their hiding spot and dumped the bags at her feet. From there it was quick work of divvying up the load, and, holding each other's hands in the pitch black of the trees, Addy began the slow process of leading them home, their loot clinking on their backs.

By the time they finally returned home, swaying on their feet with exhaustion, Adelaide still couldn't decide if she was grateful or disappointed they hadn't been discovered this time.

See ya next time, and don't forget to leave a review!

Peace.