It was quiet in the foundry. The guys were due back any minute and Felicity was fidgeting like mad. Something had gone wrong, but no one was talking. They had cornered the latest threat to Starling City, a guy the press was calling Funny Man because of a new drug he was putting out on the streets with side effects similar to nitrous oxide.
The take down had been going smoothly when all hell broke loose over the comm. All she could hear was yelling, what sounded like a physical fight, a yell and an ominous thump followed by an "Oh shit" from one of the guys. No matter how many times she yelled into the comm for a status update, all she got was a terse reply of "Sit tight we're on our way back", followed by what sounded like someone being dragged.
Why the heck wouldn't they tell her what had happened? Why wasn't Oliver answering? It sounded like Dig was the only one talking, and Felicity was scared.
Twenty minutes later and she was pretty sure she had worn the heels down on her brand new pair of Jimmy Choos with her pacing. She was getting ready to pull her hair out when she finally heard the door to the foundry being unlocked and opened.
Before she could move or say anything, she stopped in her tracks. What the hell? Was that…singing?
"…ddddddddiiiiii-Diggle Diggle Bo Biggle Banana fanna fo figgle…."
Oh. My. God.
Felicity stood there in shock as Dig and Roy carried Oliver down the stairs, each one with an arm and struggling to keep Oliver on his feet.
"ROY! Roy Roy, Bo Boy, banana fanna fo Foy…"
"Jesus Christ Dig can you shut him up?! If I have to hear this one more time I'm going to stick one of his arrows up his a.."
Roy was cut off when Oliver spotted Felicity standing there, mouth open and shrieked, "FELLL-ICITY!" He sucked in a huge breath and promptly started into the Felicity-version of "The Name Game" song.
Oliver Queen, former billionaire playboy, current Arrow, was completely out of it.
Roy unceremoniously dropped his half of a singing Oliver and walked over to his case to undress, cursing Funny Man and Oliver.
Dig didn't say a word, just dragged Oliver over to one of the computer chairs and dumped him on his butt.
Felicity finally found the wherewithal to close her mouth and slowly turn around.
"What is the name of all that's holy happened out there?"
Roy quickly whipped around and glared at Dig, an interesting look on his face. Dig just stared back, lifting one eyebrow at Roy as if to say "Dude, really?"
Felicity looked at Oliver, who had blessedly stopped singing and was instead swinging himself in circles in the chair, legs straight out and going "weeeeeee". He sounded like that stupid Geico pig in the car.
She turned back to Dig and Roy who were still glaring at each other and having an unspoken argument.
"Guys! What happened? What's wrong with Oliver?"
Roy finally broke eye contact and turned back to his case, putting his bow back and arrows into the slots. Dig spoke.
"We uh, kind of ran into a problem."
"Yeah, I can see that", she said. Felicity followed this up with a head wave and slight shrug as if to say And..?
Dig ran his hands over his face and looked at Felicity.
"We were getting ready to take Funny Man down. I had him on my 12, Oliver and Roy were behind him. He had some kind of gun in his hand and kept refusing to put it down. It didn't look like a standard gun. He kept going side to side, trying to keep all of us in sight. When he turned away from me at one point I went in to take him down. Oliver and Roy then jumped in and we're all wrestling with each other, trying to contain him and get the gun out of his hands. He managed to push us off and stood up and fired his gun at Roy."
Felicity gasped slightly. That explained the sounds she was hearing. She looked at Roy, who was currently shirtless as he pulled out a t-shirt to put on, and he looked ok. She didn't see any injury on him.
"So what happened?" She asked.
Roy turned around, pulling his shirt down, shoulders slumping.
"I ducked".
The sound of laughter, followed by a snort, caught her attention and Felicity turned around to Oliver. He was now sitting on the floor, legs crossed singing Itsy Bitsy Spider and trying to make the hand movements, only to mess up, causing him to laugh and start over.
Felicity rolled her eyes and turned back, fixing Dig and Roy with a glare.
"Continue."
Roy looked at Dig, almost pleadingly, like he didn't want to continue the story.
Dig took pity on Roy and continued.
"Roy ducked, and Oliver was behind him where he had been knocked to the floor. He was in the middle of trying to get up, his foot was tangled in Roy's bow, when Funny Man shot his gun. It was a dart gun loaded with his drug. "
When Felicity rose her eyebrows at him, Dig continued with, "He shot Oliver in the ass with the dart".
"Bahahahasnort! Diggy said the "A" word…ooh you in tru-bole…!"
Felicity looked all three guys, Roy - hanging his head in shame, Dig – looking like he was ready for a stiff drink, and Oliver - still giggling over Dig's use of the bad word.
She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. Oliver was ok. No one was seriously hurt. She sighed to herself then walked over and gave Roy a hug. "It's ok Roy. Stuff like this is bound to happen."
He looked down. "I know, it's just, if I hadn't ducked, if I had dropped my damn bow for him to step in.."
"Eh, if, if, if. Life is full of ifs. Go home Roy. This will all wear off".
Roy nodded at Felicity, then at Dig and headed up the stairs out of the foundry.
Felicity turned to Dig to tell him the same thing when he looked over shoulder towards Oliver and said, "What are we going to do with Chuckles here?"
Felicity turned around to see Oliver, standing on her beloved desk of computers, his mask and hood still on and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a cape.
"I'm Bat-Man", Oliver said in his best Christian Bale voice and promptly jumped off the desk, whipping his "cape" around him and ran off.
Felicity just sighed. It was going to be a really long night.
