Chapter 3 – Mass Effect 3
Reunion – Awake on the Citadel
Kaidan,
I don't hold anything said at Horizon against you. I won't insult you, by trying to convince you I can empathize with what you've been through. I think I might understand it, though. Someone once told me that love and hate are not emotions on opposite ends of a spectrum. As your capacity to love someone increases so does your capacity for hate.
In the months since I woke up in the middle of a firefight on an operating table at a Cerberus facility, I realized I've spent this time trying to navigate dark water, with nothing to get my bearings from. Seeing you on Horizon, and your letter...
You gave me the bearing of my home harbour again. Thank you, for that. It reminded me that this isn't the Normandy, it's just a port of call.
I'm glad you stayed with the Alliance, at Horizon. I need someone there. Someone I can trust beyond any measure of doubt, who can stay out of Cerberus' reach. I don't know what kind of person stopping the Collector's is going to make me into...if even I can't remember the person I used to be, I want someone to.
I can't believe I'm writing this on paper. I refuse to put it anywhere Cerberus can find it.
In any case, I'll be careful, I promise. My thoughts are with you as often as they can be.
Kaidan, I can't wait for the day you get to read this.
Love,
Jenna
v
Shepard walked into the med bay, a box wrapped in blue paper in hand. A nurse stopped her asking her to identify herself.
"Commander Shepard. I'm here to see Major Alenko."
"He's still asleep..."
"I won't wake him, but I'd like to leave something for him."
"Certainly. He's right through there." The nurse replied, pointing to the doors at the end of the hall. Shepard nodded gratefully and smiled. Shepard went into the room, its glass wall darkened to keep out the glare of city lights - bright as day even at night. Shepard went over to the bedside table and silently set the package down. She watched the heart rate monitor spike and fall with almost perfectly regularity. She reached for the patient chart hanging by the head of the bed. As she read, the sound of the monitor beep had her eyelids dropping to the same rhythm. Better be careful, she thought, or I'll fall asleep standing here. Shepard set the chart back into place, smiled on Kaidan affectionately and stepped out of the room. She thought for a moment she heard him say her name, but she kept walking, sure she'd imagined it. Or not. She heard her name again. She stopped in place for a moment, eyes wide, then turned back.
She opened the door enough to look through.
"Kaidan?"
"Shepard." Shepard smiled and stepped into the room. She wheeled the bedside chair closer to the bed and seated herself. She leaned back and took a solemn breath in, eyes unblinking, as she looked him over.
"Wow. You look like you tried going for a romp in the hay with a Thresher Maw and it was having none of it." Kaidan smiled and laughed as carefully as he could.
"Hope you can still love a man who's not quite as pretty as he used to be." Kaidan lamented, half serious, though also in no mood to dance around how he felt. Shepard leaned forward, elbows on her knees.
"As long all the important bits are still working, I'll stick around." Kaidan laughed, wincing as he did.
"Define, 'important bits'."
"In descending order of importance - head, heart, and...you get the idea." Shepard said, giving his hipbone a gentle prod. Kaidan started truly laughing, in pain at the same time.
"For the love of...don't make me laugh." Kaidan said then coughed as he settled himself down. Jenna brought her chair up closer to the side of the bed. Kaidan took a needed breath in and let his head fall to the side facing her.
"Did you leave this?" he asked, seeing the wrapped box on the side table.
"Yeah."
"Can I open it?"
"Sure. Why not?" Shepard picked up the present and handed it to him.
"You've spent months working with Cerberus. I turned my back on you at Horizon. Should I be worried?"
"It's not going to explode. Just open it." Jenna smiled and leaned back, putting an ankle to rest up on her knee. Kaidan opened the box and lifted out a decorative bottle branded from a vintner in the Okanagan Valley, British Columbia.
"Ice wine. Wow, Shepard, I don't know what to say."
"My favourite. Thought you should know."
"I'll remember that. We'll find a special occasion to crack it open. Maybe getting out of here." Kaidan fingered the card and looked at Shepard as she took the bottle and box and set them on the bedside table again.
"I wrote that the day I received your letter apologizing for Horizon. I wanted to wait until we'd patched things up, but, hell, there are too many reasons that may never happen. So..." Shepard put a hand out as if to say 'go for it' and looked away. Kaidan frowned and open the envelope. His expression softened as his eyes moved down the page.
"Jenna...when you didn't write back I thought...I heard you and Garrus became pretty close..."
"I trust Garrus. He's…a good friend - second only to you. He's half the reason I'm still here. Kaidan, if you were my right hand, Garrus was the left." Jenna explained, leaning forward, resting her forearms on the edge of the cot. Kaidan let out a breath and let his head fall back onto his pillow. He reached out a hand, looking for hers. Jenna took it. She put a kiss on the back of his hand.
"Whatever you think about this...tell me. I don't want it to go unsaid."
"You know, you've never told me you love me. There are things you say, and I'm pretty sure it's what you mean, but those three words...haven't heard those yet."
"I don't want to say when it could be just an obligatory response. I want it to just...happen. It may mean that, one of these days, you're going to have to give me the chance to say it first."
"Shepard...you are...!" Kaidan started to say, incredulous. Jenna's eyes went wide and she sat back slightly, keeping a hold on his hand.
"Out with it." Jenna challenged him. Kaidan let out an exasperated breath and shook his head.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I don't have words adequate to say it." Shepard rolled her chair up closer to the head of the bed.
"Kaidan, I'm in. No way out. Whether we're sound of mind and body or not." Kaidan reached for her cheek, nudging her closer. Shepard took the hint a bridged the rest of the gap. Before she knew what was happening again she needed air. She backed away from him, taking a deep, content breath.
"Actions speak louder than words." Kaidan said.
"I hear you loud and clear." Jenna replied. The lights from inside the clinic went dim. The nursing staff had made the windows a one-way mirror looking out.
"That's my exit cue. I better go." Shepard stood, rolling the chair back to where it had been. She relaxed her grip on his hand but he didn't let go. She stood still, waiting for Kaidan to say whatever he was wrestling with.
"Jenna..." Shepard stepped back to the bedside, holding his hand as securely as he was hers.
"...don't leave."
Jenna's eyes went wider in surprise. She quickly glanced around the room and out toward the nursing station.
"I should..."
"Hold on. You can steal the Alliance flagship, not batting an eye, but when I ask you to break hospital visitation protocol..." Jenna put a finger to his lips.
"I should find a pillow."
"Oh."
"Yeah." Jenna let go of Kaidan's hand. She shed her jacket and left it beside Kaidan on the bed. There was nothing in the cupboards near at hand. She began looking further afield in the room.
"Hey, Shepard, don't worry. This one's plenty big enough for two."
"I like the idea, but..."
"Shepard, I'm willing to bet putting the blinds down was a courtesy not a hint. If it's actions we're relying on rather than words, I could use a little more time to communicate." Jenna couldn't resist a good helping of whole-hearted laughter. Not that she wasn't game for some intimate contact, but…
"I read your chart, Kaidan. Five compromised ribs. One broken. Other minor fractures. To say nothing of what an increase in blood pressure might do to your head." Kaidan took a deep breath.
"I may not be able to do much of the work…but the most important part of this idea is working just fine." Jenna turned away from the cupboard she rooting through for a moment and looked on, surprised, with one eyebrow raised in interest. She let out the slightest whistle.
"I can see that." Kaidan laughed.
"God, Shepard, you're killing me."
"No, I'm healing you. Didn't you read the doctor's note? Laughter's the best medicine."
"Not when it's pulling freshly knitted muscle off fractured ribs."
"Ouch. Granted. Though, I am willing to bet the soul feels a hell of a lot better right now."
"Mmm hmm. Yeah. That it does." Kaidan closed his eyes and smiled, content.
"I am staying. Hold those thoughts. We'll make time for them as soon as you're out of here."
"And there goes one of the last parts of me that isn't some god-awful shade of blue." You poor man. Jenna couldn't keep herself from laughing. It felt good to be laughing with him.
"If we don't quit this banter, they are going to kick me out," she said, triumphantly producing a pillow from the closet she'd just opened.
"Sleep's coming, Jenna. Pretty sure I can't stop it." Jenna pulled the chair back near the bedside and took a seat.
"Don't try."
Kaidan gave himself another shot of pain medication. Laughing was really beginning to hurt. She had to look a little closer at how he was sleeping to set herself up. The head of the bed was at an incline. She lowered it down and put the pillow as close to his as possible. She took his hand in hers and folded his arm over so their hands could rest on his shoulder, away from anywhere that might cause serious pain.
"Relax. Morning is coming too soon." Kaidan suddenly had a troubled look on his face, with eyes wide open.
"Promise me you won't go."
"Wild varen, Kaidan. Wild varen." Kaidan laughed and moaned when he tensed the wrong muscles. Before long the heart rate monitors had Kaidan in a deep sleep. Shepard brought herself out of the nap she was in. She tried to slide her hand out of his and when she moved him in the slightest, the heart rate monitor would start to read erratically. She sighed, resigned. It was only a few more tries before she gave in.
"All right, Endymion. As you wish," she whispered, snuggling into the pillow and letting herself plummet headfirst into her night's rest.
"...She was amazed to discover that when he was saying, 'as you wish', what he really meant was, 'I love you'."
- The Princess Bride
v
Shepard woke up quite suddenly, sitting straight up. The sun was bright in the window, but low on the horizon. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and had to wipe saliva away from the corner of her mouth with the heel of her hand.
"Augh. Gross," she said, standing and stepping on her jacket with her first step. Oh. So that's where it went. Jenna shook her head to clear away the last of the sleep clinging to her and yawned. She walked over to the sink and rinsed the cotton balls out of her mouth. She washed her hands and rinsed her entire face, leaving a thin coat of cold water on it to soak in. She returned to Kaidan's bedside to find him just opening his eyes. Picking her jacket up off the floor she put it on the back of the chair. She picked up her pillow and tossed it into the dirty linen bin.
"Morning," said Shepard, smiling and stretching her arms out as she sat down again. The chair had quite the impression in it.
"Morning." Jenna kissed him on the shoulder. Kaidan couldn't help laughing.
"What are you thinking?" Kaidan asked. Jenna smiled and giggled.
"Other than the obvious?…I'm thinking I haven't slept that well…since Ilos. I'm also feeling a little silly about the fact that even being a galactic hero isn't enough to keep you from drooling on a pillow when you sleep on it face down." Kaidan couldn't help laughing.
"You have one mean streak."
"And you love it."
"Yeah. I do." Jenna stood and gave him a kiss proper. Kaidan tried to move one of his legs when she did and the effort resulted in an obviously painful inhale and wince. Jenna looked to the nurse's station. It was empty. Thankfully, there was a doctor coming toward their room.
"Good morning, Commander. Major."
"Good morning, Doctor." said Jenna, looking back to Kaidan with concern on her face. Kaidan had his eyes closed and was making every effort to breath slowly and deeply. Jenna moved around to the other side of the bed, out of the doctor's way. He walked over to the bedside and, after a brief look at the chart hanging by the head of the bed, entered a dosage for the medication Kaidan was on and dispensed the dose into his drip.
"No. No more medication," said Kaidan gruffly.
"It will mellow you out, nothing more. You're making good progress, Major. We're going to start stepping you down off your dosage of painkillers tomorrow." The doctor looked between the two of them as if he wanted to say more.
"Look, I know the two of you had a good time last night, but there's only so much good it can do." Shepard looked between Kaidan and the Doctor, confused.
"Wait, the nurses could still see us?" she asked.
"Yeah. It's their job to watch you."
"Damn. I'm suddenly glad we...uh..." said Jenna.
"Oh, wow. Me too." Kaidan agreed. The Doctor leaned back again the shelves behind him, hands clasped in front of him.
"You're in love. I get it. I'm a medical doctor. I understand being human better than most. Still, you need to be focused on the idea of getting out of that bed and back to active duty," he said.
"We hear you, Doctor." Kaidan replied. Jenna smiled and held Kaidan's hand just a little tighter.
"Can I tell you two something?" Jenna put an eyebrow up, curious.
"Shoot."
"Being a doctor makes your mental processes inexorably dependent on logic, but...the two of you are glowing, for lack of a better word, in a way the daylight doesn't account for. There is an irrational romantic in me that hopes that kind of light is what's going to put the Reapers back into the shadows they came from, and bury them there for good." Kaidan laughed carefully.
"Is it that obvious, Doctor?" Taken aback, the doctor stepped forward and fixed Kaidan with an intent stare.
"You're joking...she looks at you and the look on her face makes me feel like I can save the galaxy. So get better, Major, and get it done." They smiled and laughed.
"Yes, sir."
The doctor nodded and opened the door to leave.
"Wait, doctor. What time is it?" Shepard asked. He checked his watch.
"It's 5:13." the doctor said before exiting the room. Jenna look liked she'd been electrocuted.
"Shit. I have to run. I have to meet Udina at the Embassy geared up n' ready to rock by zero six." She let go of Kaidan's hand and circled back to the chair to grab her jacket.
"I'm sorry, Kaidan. I love you. I'll be back fast as I can be." she said hurriedly as she put her jacket on and made for the door.
"Jenna! Did you...?" She stopped in her tracks and her eyes went wide, she caught her lower lip in a slight bite. The moment she realized what she'd done was exhilarating. She turned back to Kaidan with a bright smile on her face. She ran back to the bedside and gave him one last deep but careful kiss.
"Be careful."
"I will."
Like a summer wind, she was out the door, down the hall and gone.
A little misbehaviour makes life a whole lot richer.
- Unknown
Well-behaved women rarely make history.
- Unknown
v
Shepard made certain she returned to the hospital before disembarking. There was a full complement of nurses bustling about the station and it took them a few minutes to give her their attention. The number of patients in the ward was astounding.
"What can I do for you…?"
"Commander Shepard. I'd like to see Kaidan Alenko for a minute."
"I'm sorry, Commander. He's been sedated. He underwent a small procedure." Shepard narrowed her eyes, suspicion being her overwhelming reaction. He'd managed to come this far without someone watching his back…she couldn't afford to doubt the men and women here. What would be, would be.
"I didn't realize he was scheduled for surgery. I would have come back sooner. Thank you." Shepard said, disappointed, but grateful and respectful. She turned to go and paused, remembering the Doctor. If he was looking after Kaidan, everything would be fine. She thought it might be appropriate to speak with him before she left - tell the Doctor she was glad he was the one looking after him.
"I'm sorry, excuse me, who was the Doctor on duty this morning at about 05:00 hours?" The nurse gave her an odd look.
"I'm not sure. Let me check for you," she replied, curious. Shepard let her gaze wander across the pictures decorating the back wall of the station. A picture of the Doctor they had seen this morning caught her eye. Aaron Sokolov. Dates were hyphenated underneath. 2143 to…2184. Last year. The picture was one of six on a plaque bearing the title…'In Memoriam'.
The nurse looked up to answer her but Shepard was gone. Outside the door and down the hall Shepard stopped moving but her mind was racing round in circles trying to extricate itself from the trappings of the conclusion it was coming to.
Get it done, Commander. The thought had crossed her mind unbidden. She smiled and stepped determinedly forward.
Yes, sir. Kaidan was in trusted hands. It was time to put hers to use.
v
Fuel Reactor
"Kaidan, back up the Captain."
"Ma'am." Kaidan took off running. The way he'd done it…looked like a happy pup chasing a stick into a lake. Once he was out of sight, Shepard rubbed her helmeted forehead and sighed giving Garrus a loaded look. A blip over the earpiece signaled Kaidan going out of short range communication.
"Oh, cut 'im a break, Shepard. He's just happy to see you." Shepard was simultaneously pissed and amused.
"Fuck you, Garrus. Just…fuck you," she said, laughing the entire time.
HUURAAWWR!
Shepard looked toward the reactor core where the sound had come from.
"Well that sounds fun," she quipped, one eyebrow up and a half smile on, reloading her rifle. Garrus laughed.
"Cover up," she said, ducking down behind the nearest crate.
v
Admiral Gerrel
"Your unilateral strike endangered us all! I should charge you with treason!"
"I was acted well within my authority as Admiral of the Heavy Fleet."
"What of Commander Shepard, and Tali Zorah?" Raan demanded, incredulous.
Shepard entered the war room, focused on one thing…
"Shepard! You're military. You understand. The mission parameters changed." Gerrel said dismissively. Shepard approached the Admiral with unsettling directness and speed. She let go a pair of punches to the gut with all her weight behind them. She could have sworn she'd heard ribs snap.
"The dreadnaught had effectively surrendered! You wasted your chance to withdraw safely." Shepard spat. Gerrel sank onto one knee. Admiral Raan stepped toward them.
"Commander! Calm down! You're understandably upset after what's happened to you..." Admiral Raan began. Shepard cut her short, taking hold of Admiral Gerrel by the neck.
"This has nothing to do with what happened to me. Every day I wake up is another day I'm lucky to see. You attacked that dreadnought with my TEAM - one of your own Admirals and my 2IC - still on board!" Shepard shouted.
"The dreadnought was a perfect target! You and your team made it out alive...!" Gerrel said, unrepentant and almost petulant. Shepard took hold of the Admiral by his breathing tubes, pulling him up and toward her.
"Commander!" Tali said in protest. A rupture in the Admiral's suit might kill him.
"Your reckless actions needlessly endangered the entire Fleet. Thank your ancestors no one has to clean you off these walls. Get off my ship." She released the Admiral. He backed away, leaning on the rails for support as he left the war room.
"Shepard, that was unnecessary…" Admiral Raan began. Tali interrupted.
"He almost got us killed, Raan."
"Ask the quarians who died in that attack if a little abuse is fair compensation for their lives." Shepard stated. Raan exhaled heavily.
"You must understand, the geth inflicted heavy casualties before you disabled the Reaper interface."
"It won't make much difference if they have a planetary defense cannon."
"Had. Admiral Koris sacrificed his ship to destroy it. He crash-landed on the homeworld."
"The Normandy can assist with the rescue effort."
"Thank you, Commander. I think the worst is over. The geth no longer possess the programming upgrades installed while they were under Reaper control."
Legion announced his presence, having completed the self-diagnostics he had been instructed to run and report to EDI before rejoining the crew.
"Shepard-Commander. We are prepared to offer assistance."
"What the hell is this?" Admrial Raan demanded, outraged.
"Hold on! Just…take it easy," said Shepard standing between them with her back to Legion, "This is Legion. The Reapers were using him as a relay to broadcast commands from the dreadnaught. We freed him."
"It. We freed it." Tali corrected.
"This is a fascinating prototype. With some study I may be able to use it to find a weakness in the geth consensus." Admiral Xen mused. Shepard turned on her.
"He's an ally, Admiral. He helped me destroy the Collectors."
"So did your pistol. Should I worry about its feelings as well?" Admiral Xen retorted. Shepard knew which Admirals she couldn't count on to end this conflict. She closed the space between her and Xen.
"Legion is my friend and representative of the geth race."
"The scientific benefits…"
"Keep talking about experimenting on a member of the geth consensus and I will rip off your face plate and sneeze." Admiral Xen was duly offended and speechless. Admiral Raan approached Legion cautiously.
"What can you tell us about the geth? How will they act without Reaper guidance?"
"This is a false assumption. You have cut off long-range control, but the Old Machines have placed a base on Rannoch to facilitate short range control."
"The geth still have Reaper upgrades?"
"Correct. They are currently disorganized. Once the short range signal emitters compensate they will recover."
"Keelah! I need to warn the Fleet. Xen! Take command of the Civilian Fleet and coordinate with Gerrel. Now." The resentment in the air was tangible. Xen nodded and turned to go.
"We need to take out the Reaper base. Where is it?" Shepard demanded.
"Unknown."
"Find it."
"Understood. Currently known is the location of a server from which geth fighter squadrons are controlled. The squadrons are targeting creator liveships. Disabling them will limit casualties. We offer assistance."
"Appreciated, Legion." Shepard sent Kaidan orders with her omni-tool.
v
Kaidan was in the conference area on his way to the war room when Admiral Xen caught his attention.
"If I may ask you a question, Major..."
"Of course, Admiral."
"I'm hoping you might have some advice on how to…deal with the Commander when she is...in this state of mind." Kaidan shook his head, laughed and continued on to the war room, calling back,
"Sure. Duck and cover."
v
Major Alenko entered the war room as Admiral Raan was leaving. He stood aside to let her pass. Shepard was coming up the stairs behind her, speaking with Tali and Legion. She looked up and saw him.
"Commander."
"Perfect timing, Major. Join us." Shepard opened a channel to Joker and EDI. "Joker, get ready to drop us above Admiral Koris' last known position." The quartet continued through the conference room past the security checkpoint.
"Aye, Commander."
"We're not deactivating the server first? More ships are being destroyed every second we…" Tali said, bewildered.
"I know, Tali. I want Koris back in command of the Civilian Fleet. To boot, if taking down the server doesn't end hostilities, opening a dialogue between the freed geth and the Admiralty is the only option I'll have to curb this. If talks go well we'll need Admiral Koris to vote with you and Raan. "
"She seems open, but…are you sure Admiral Raan will vote to end the war?" Kaidan asked. They stepped into the elevator. Shepard didn't answer until the doors closed. I'm betting our lives on it. I'd better be, Shepard thought.
"In the first vote it was Tali and Koris against, Xen and Gerrel for. She was obviously the swing vote. Raan is directly responsible for every death in this conflict – quarian and geth. She's aware of that. She's also a decent person. The burden of that knowledge has already made her decision."
"There are two admirals who want to fight in charge of two sections of the Fleet. If something goes wrong, we have to give her a good reason to break ranks." Kaidan observed grimly. Shepard nodded. Tali glanced at Kaidan then looked down, introspective. If there were a way to feel Rannoch's sun on her skin, she would find it.
v
Trapped in the Archives
"I'm going to enjoy decompressing the airlock with the two of you inside."
v
Brooks
"We had some laughs. And who knows? Maybe we'll have more someday. You know you'll miss me."
"Take her to holding."
"You know, she wouldn't have let me live."
"You can't clone everything."
"C-Sec won't hold me forever, Commander."
Kaidan raised his pistol and let off a shot. Brooks collapsed, minus part of her skull.
Shepard looked to Kaidan in surprise.
"You're not the only one who can shoot her and get off scott-free." Shepard smiled.
"Feel better?"
"I'll sleep better."
"Fair judgement."
"Really? You were you were going to let her live."
"Yes. Really." Shepard turned and began walking away.
"Oh shit. Now he's in trouble." Garrus mused. Because a woman is never okay with something when she says she is.
"That's not...Shepard, are you sure?" Kaidan asked, unsure of what to make of her reaction.
"I'm craving noodles. Beef udon soup. Who's hungry?"
"Wow, Major. Now she's just avoiding you. You're really screwed."
"You're enjoying this aren't you?" Kaidan said to Garrus. Garrus just laughed.
"Kaidan, will you let it go and let me admire you for five minutes?" Shepard said.
"What? Why...?"
"Because you took the shot whether I agreed with it or not. Now can we get some noodles? I'm starving." Kaidan shrugged.
"Why not? Where to?"
"A quaint little spot on the Silversun Strip. Looks nicely turned out from the outside. I want to see what it's like inside."
v
My Friend Doesn't Like Alliance Types
"I'd say we've accomplished what we set out to. Let's celebrate." Shepard said, extending a hand. Kaidan shook it, nodding.
"Let's go."
v
Jenna and Kaidan walked into the bar.
"Why do I feel like I'm walking into another fight?"
"Because you are."
"Should've seen that coming."
"What's a fun night out without a little friendly competition?"
"With you? Incomplete. Two lines, please. Whisky," Kaidan said to the bartender.
"Alright. Shots at the same time. Last one standing wins. And has the carry the other home."
"I will call us a cab, but I am not carrying you anywhere."
"Don't worry, I don't think you will be."
"Famous last words."
"Fair warning: Cerberus made a few upgrades. Might give me an edge somewhere other than combat."
"What kind of upgrades?"
"That's for me to know and for you to find out the hard way."
"Won't be the first time I've gone in against a stacked deck. To drinking my CO under the bar."
One shot...
"Maybe we should've done this somewhere we could get our blood flowing between shots."
"What'd you have in mind?"
"'Drop and give me 20', kind of thing."
"Hmm."
Two...
"I think I've got a better idea."
"Do tell. Please..." Shepard said. Kaidan answered with a short laugh stepping in close and whispering in her ear. Shepard flexed her shoulders, chasing away the tingle running down her spine. She could feel the blood in her cheeks. Lips terse and eyebrow raised, she stamped a booted toe into the floor.
"That's just fightin' dirty." With a satisfied version of the same short laugh Kaidan stepped back, reaching for the next shot.
"All's fair..."
Three...
"In that case..." Shepard replied, mischief turning up the corner of her lips. She closed in, whispering with a smile on. She could feel the heat rising off him. She stepped back, noting the colour on his ears and cheeks.
"That was below the belt." After a quick glance in that direction, Shepard answered,
"Might want to stand facing that way for a minute." She pointed directly toward the back wall of the bar. Kaidan discretely took the advice.
Four...
"Give in yet?" Shepard asked.
"If you're good to go, so am I." Shepard picked up her second to last glass, moving for a toast.
The shove came from behind, spilling the glass of whisky Shepard had in hand. That was a shameful waste of good whisky. Setting the glass down, Shepard turned toward the offender...a batarian.
"My friend here doesn't like Alliance types." Shepard looked to Kaidan, gauging. She smiled for a moment and couldn't help restrainedly laughing.
"Really?" she said, turning back to the bar and the shots sitting there untouched. The batarian pulled on her shoulder.
"I don't like you either!" Shepard kept her eyes on the batarian and his vorcha companion.
"Wasting good whisky? That's a crime. Anything in the Spectre handbook about crimes?" Shepard grinned.
What? Spectre?!
"Judge, jury...and executioner." Shepard snatched up her last glass of whisky as the two surged forward. Throwing it into the eyes of the batarian Kaidan took down, she went for his vorcha partner, sending him flying backward through a pane of glass. Shepard stepped through the door and stood waiting for the vorcha to shake it off and get up.
v
BAFF!
CRASH!
POW!
BAM!
v
Shepard rolled the batarian and his friend, shaking them down for their credit cards. She was impressed by the amount of cash the two were carrying. More than enough. She stepped over to the bartender who kept herself as far back from the counter as possible. Shepard put the two cards behind the counter.
"They're sorry about the mess," she said and walked out of the bar beside Kaidan, the two crunching glass chips as they went. Shepard involuntarily took a weaving step to the side.
"Whoa. Where you goin'?" said Kaidan, laughing and gently guiding her back by the arm.
"Nowhere I don't wanna be, soldier." Shepard loosely took hold of his hand, put a kiss on the back of it shy of his skinned knuckles and let go.
v
The Last Time
"...What you've done, Shepard...is build hope."
"I'm glad I can help you feel that way. But...sometimes, I need to find it somewhere, too. The time I spent with Cerberus...I don't know how many times I put my guns away after a mission and considered leaving this whole mess behind. The thought that had me picking them up again every single time - that kept me alive - was getting back to you."
"So that's what it was. Here I was, thinking death might actually be afraid of you." Shepard smiled. Her cheeks flushed as she gently touched his cheek and kissed him.
"If the Reapers had any sense, they would be."
v
The Shepard
"I know many of us, here and throughout the galaxy, are daunted by our enemy – afraid of them. I know because I am. Before accepting command of forces set to deploy on the ground, someone I love told me this: We're old soldiers. Comrades-in-arms. We know the score. We know this is good-bye.
We've parted ways, possibly for good, and those words have me asking myself, 'What, exactly, do I know'?
I know our enemy is not the Reapers. It is darkness - the empty oblivion of non-existence. I know that we are faced with the most terrifying threat any species has ever known. I know that, at the start, isolated by our fears, many of us lashed out at something in the darkness, expecting an enemy. Instead they took the blow, and then took our hands. When they did, the darkness receded, and we saw that assumed enemy for what they really are – our allies and friends.
Alone, we are small, and we are weak. But even with darkness surrounding us we are – none of us! – alone. Because we stand United. Together, we are Strong. We find extraordinary strength in the bonds we share with those fighting beside us, and those we cherish. The Reapers will take lives, and they will find that like the stuff we're made of, the really explosive shit doesn't start happening until bonds are broken.
This is true of everything that exists in the universe. It is the nature of life.
With the strength of that unchanging, unyielding truth the Reapers will be made to know this: We can overcome! We will survive! And we will FOREVER Remember Why!
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Alternative End - The Asking Price
WARNING: Contains ideas and imagery that may cause you to decide life isn't worth living. If you can't handle it, don't read it.
Shepard opened her eyes. It was blindingly bright...and disturbingly quiet. She was lying down. She moved her arms and despite feeling like she was lying on her back, she found there was nothing beneath her. As she turned to look behind her she suddenly and disorientingly, found herself on her feet. Shepard exhaled, shouldering grim acceptance.
"Yeah. There's no walking away from that. Fuck." she said, grimacing as she thought of Kaidan. She bit down on the lump forming at the top of her throat, swallowing forcefully. She looked around. Her sight wasn't gone. Everything was white. Despite being pure white she still got the distinct impression of undulating movement in the space around her. This was a place anyone with vertigo would hate. Wasn't a problem for her, though. Rock solid. She inhaled. Now to figure out what came next...
"It's been a while, Commander. To you, anyway." Shepard smiled crookedly and turned.
"Ash." Ashley walked up and extended a hand. Shepard eyed her cautiously.
"For crying out loud, I'm not gonna rip your arm off and beat you with it. God knows there was a time when I would've like to." Shepard genuinely smiled, quickly turning the handshake into a hug.
"It's good to see you." As she said it, familiar faces began appearing from underneath the mist. Mordin. Thane...Legion. EDI. Dammit. Joker…
Shepard said the first thing that came to mind. A tear rolled down each cheek.
"Thank you. For everything." So well as each could, they smiled and nodded.
"Thank you, Shepard." Mordin answered.
"I am honoured, Shepard-Commander."
"It was my pleasure." Thane replied.
"You are welcome, Shepard." said EDI.
"How'd it go, Shepard?" Shepard turned to Ashley, slightly confused. Then there was understanding where there had been none before. She closed her eyes.
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The Normandy's hatch slid open and the emergency ramp deployed. Joker...Liara...Garrus...Kaidan. Thank you...
A classroom...young children...Jacob.
Sunshine...a reclining chair...and an umbrella drink. She grinned broadly. Zaeed...
Tali...
Raan…
A baby in arms...Bakara…Wrex.
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Shepard opened her eyes as she laughed and grinned at Ashley. She began to walk toward the others.
"Is it over?" Ash asked. Fondly, Shepard looked to each of them, and smiled, satisfied. Nodding, she said,
"It's over."
"And? Was it enough?" Ash asked. Shepard wore a bittersweet smile, remembering the best of the times they had shared.
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I don't do that kind of thing, not lightly anyway…
Shepard! Holy…!
A strong, regular heartbeat…
I've never met a woman who…
I love you…
We should record this, and broadcast it for the Reapers…!
The warmth of the living room fire…
Welcome home…
I'm the luckiest soul alive…
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"Yeah. It was." Shepard met Ash's gaze squarely, fondness and gratitude showing on her face. Ash gestured toward the others, meaning for Shepard to follow.
"Where to?" asked Shepard. Ashley smiled.
"Where someone dead usually goes from here." Don't give up on me…the words echoed around her. Shepard came to a stop. Ash frowned.
"What is it?" Shepard laughed.
"There's one promise left to keep." Ashley nodded, understanding. She shook her head, wearing a knowing smile and let go of Shepard. Keeping eyes on her, she backed up a few steps before turning and disappearing into the ether. Shepard stripped off her armour plating, wearing only her jumpsuit. She looked herself over, wondering…
Her uniform and jumpsuit disintegrated, swirling away into the ether. Shepard smiled. They weren't necessary, considering who she was waiting for.
A sound she wasn't expecting found her ears - small feet, bare and running. Shepard looked about, unsure of where the sound was coming from. He ran past from behind, weaving back and forth in panic. He couldn't be more than 10 years old. Shepard sprinted after him, taking hold of him after a spare few yards. She got him turned to hold him tight and still. He was calmer but rattling like leaves in the wind. Shepard pulled back to look at him and the resemblance carved her heart out.
Black hair.
Steel blue eyes.
His legs gave out. Shepard sank to her knees with him, helping the child lie down at an incline in her arms.
"You're safe. I'm here," she said, one hand on his cheek, holding him close. He didn't respond, continuing to shake. He couldn't hear her. Couldn't see. Or speak. Sadness twisted her expression. She pulled him in keeping as much of him as close as she could. She wished she had something - anything - to wrap him in. Suddenly he began to panic again.
Shepard began to shake. She didn't understand why he was so afraid until she saw where he was coming apart. Mute, deaf, blind and terrified, he disintegrated in her arms.
Trembling arms empty, confusion and fear turned to grief and rage.
Kneeling with fists clenched, the sound of her cry rent the heart.
"NOOOOO!"
For a galaxy cleansed of its' sin, this was the asking price.
R.A. Crandall