Chapter 32 Sensual
Temperance Brennan sat in the comfortable glider rocker in Christine's pale yellow nursery, feeding her daughter. Although it was 4 am, she found herself more awake than she'd normally expect to be this early in the morning. She would never have imagined, a few years ago, that she would relish motherhood so much.
Not knowing whether or not Christine would be her only child, she had been filing away the tender memories and sweet sensations of her pregnancy, and each day of this little girl's life. Certainly the unusual circumstances of her birth made that day very memorable for both Brennan and Booth, since it had been a very private joint effort shared with no one but the horse in the stable behind the roadside inn. The experience of nursing her child was an enormous surprise to Brennan.
While she could have instantly delivered a lecture regarding the anthropological significance of maternal nurturing practices through the millennia of human existence, and recite from memory all the physical benefits of breastfeeding for both infant and mother, and knew the nutritional advantages of human breast milk for babies, she could never have guessed that it would bring her such pleasure and evoke such strong emotions. The connection she felt with her child during their nocturnal feeding sessions went far beyond the slightly ticklish feeling of Christine's rhythmic suckling.
Gazing down into blue eyes the same color as hers made Brennan feel as though she could see her child thinking. Though infants have no language capabilities beyond cries and gurgles, she realized there existed a silent communication between them and their mothers at intimate moments like this. Although she wouldn't go so far as to say she believe in souls, Brennan came to understand the deep meaning of the saying that eyes are the windows of the soul. Nursing her baby was truly a sensual experience she never expected.
oooooooooooooooooo
Her musing about motherhood led her to think other pleasant thoughts of the man who had helped her create this life she now cradled. Seeley Booth was the perfect blueprint of an ideal father. His physical attributes were very close to the 'golden triangle' standards of sculptors and painters. But it was the man's spirit and character which made him the wonderful mate and life partner she loved. He was brave, caring, noble, and insightful; with an uncanny ability to read people's feelings and circumstances. He put the welfare of others ahead of his own in nearly every instance Brennan could recall. Like any other human being, he wasn't guiltless. He had a temper and could be as grumpy and petty as the next person at times, but he was pretty damn close to being as perfect as any man she'd ever encountered.
The public partnership of service and crime-solving they shared had benefitted many people, and Booth was a charitable man who donated what he could to many worthy causes, even when his moderate government salary had been garnered for child support, rent, food and other necessities of life. Since their personal relationship had become permanent, the couple had given considerable amounts to various charities, but Booth had always insisted on pulling his weight.
Brennan smiled to herself. Her husband possessed excellent stamina and physical prowess when it came to their bedroom activities and had never failed to satisfy her every dream and desire. But even more than his bodily strength and endurance, his thoughtful kindness and sensitivity to her needs were what made Booth an exceptional lover, companion, and husband. He was one of the most considerate men she had ever encountered. From the chaste friendly kisses they shared across the kitchen counter cooking breakfast or saying goodbye at her lab to the most intimate and private exchanges they shared with no one else, Booth fulfilled her every need for affection, security, friendship comfort and love. They shared a deeper connection, both sensual and intellectual, than she would have ever thought possible between two distinct entities.
While Brennan might not have been up to date on popular culture or slang expressions, she possessed an extensive vocabulary, was widely-read, and thoroughly educated. She understood the nuances of the English language. There were only a few letters' difference between sexual and sensual, but there was every difference in the two concepts. She had dated numerous attractive men who competently satisfied her physical urges, but her encounter with the handsome mouthy FBI agent in her lecture hall had changed her view of human connections. Intellectually, she equated his statement that there was a huge difference between crappy sex and making love to Plato's description of humans split apart seeking to become whole again. But it wasn't until the sadness of Mr. Nigel Murray's tragic death drove her into his arms for comfort that she fully grasped the import of his assertion. In breaking the laws of physics that night together and becoming one from two, they had shared the intense beauty and fulfillment of human sensuality.
oooooooooooooooooo
Immersed in her thoughts, Brennan didn't notice that Christine had stopped nursing and fallen asleep. She gently raised the slumbering child to her shoulder and patted her back until a bubble came up. Then rising, she placed the tiny girl in her crib, tucked her into soft blankets and placed misty-eyed kisses on her downy head. She tiptoed out, leaving the door ajar, and went down the hall to slide back into her side of the bed. She curled against her husband, who instinctively laid his arm protectively over her side. Brennan glanced at the bedside clock; she had another hour to doze before rising for work. Closing her eyes, she thanked the universe for an incredible life of love she never foresaw.