Banana Milkis Float

Rachel was humming the Doctor Time Space theme song when she escaped Numbuh 65.3 for The Mocktail Spritz and found Patton sleeping at the bar. She clicked her tongue in annoyance. No doubt he over-drank the fizz again!

"Alright, how many root beers did he drink and do I have to call a medic again?" she asked the only employee ever.

The bartender noticed her, nodded in respect, and then continued his single-minded mission to wipe down the already spotless counter. "Supreme Drill Sergeant Numbuh 60 ordered a Banana Milkis Float, but fell asleep before I could finish his order."

"Daww..." she smiled fondly at the way Patton snored into his folded arms. "Poor guy. He must've had a long day with the yearly KND Anniversary," Still, he was technically on the clock, so Rachel reluctantly walked over and started to shake his shoulder. "Patton?"

He responded with a groan before falling silent again.

"Patton..." she warned which earned her another groan and a slight shake of his shoulders in the hopes of her going away. Pressing a finger to her lips urging the bartender to keep silent, Rachel leaned as far as she could for her lips to reach his covered ear and yelled, "INTRUDER ALERT! ALL KND PERSONNEL TO THE BRIDGE!"

With a snap up, Patton bonked her on the nose falling backwards off his bar stool and onto the polished marble floor. "WHO-WHAT! ON MY WAY! WAIT! WHERE...!"

"Why and how?" she whined, tears prickling in the corners of her eyes as she rubbed at her sore nose. Instant regret hit her as soon as she saw how dark the rings under his eyes were. "Ah! Okay, I'm really sorry for that! There's no alarm, I swear!" He was already trying to cling to her seat, hoping to protect his Supreme Leader from the invisible threat of nothing at all in his sluggish state. "I'm serious! I was just trying to wake you up!"

It took him a good few seconds to gain his bearings and letting reason override his instincts before his glare turned into a weary blink and he returned to his seat. "Ugh... you could have done it nicely."

"Oh you mean like soft whispers and kissing you awake like mommies do to daddies when they're not angry?" she teased once the pain ebbed away. "Because I only did half of that."

That got his attention. "Which one?" he blushed.

"You'll never know," she singsonged, wiped the tears from her eyes, and turned to the bartender. "Banana Milkis Float please. And an extra shot of vanilla for the soldier. That should do the trick."

Patton eyed her carefully. "Did I hurt you on the way down?"

"You got me on the nose yeah," she chuckled and rubbed the cartilage there. "I could technically throw you into the brig for that!" Never mind that it was her fault in the first place. She smiled to appease the horrified look on his face. "I kid, I kid."

He groaned and slammed his forehead against the counter. "Sorry. Zero, I feel like crud." That was what happens when a KND operative didn't get their daily intake of excessive sugar, one that was entirely Sector V's fault.

As Supreme Leader, it was Rachel's solemn duty to make sure her soldiers were well fueled and active for any possible attack. She slid the creamy float in his direction. "Drink before your sugar levels drop again, Patton. So, how was the yearly KND Anniversary?"

"You mean the spectacular fail Sector V did trying to turn the Grand Canyon into a giant cereal bowl?" he moaned in relief as soon as he got a hold of the straw and sucked up sweet sweet sugar.

Rachel tried not laugh at the memory of receiving that mission report earlier. "Yeah, I heard about that. On the plus side, we did get some villains out of it!"

"I was up since 0400 helping secure the perimeter! Do you know how early 0400 is?!"

"4AM?" she egged with a devilish grin.

"4-CRUDDY-AM! That's earlier than most Academy wake-up calls! And it all went down the toilet. LITERALLY!" The more he drank, the more empowered his voice became. "I was so mad I joined a lynch mob after the Toiletnator and Sector V. Never felt so hungry in my entire life!"

She shook her head in mild exasperation. "I told you guys to grab a snack before leaving. Do you know how much Rainbow Munchies cereal it would take to fill up the Grand Canyon? Like a kamillion pounds of the stuff! But it's really too bad. I was halfway into the shuttle when I heard the event was foiled by the Toiletnator. I thought you guys were just playing a joke on me with that!"

"Pretty sure Sector V's the one licking their wounds thinking about it now," Patton smirked into his glass. "We had the Toiletnator on the run. He tried sneaking in, but Numbuh 4 ordered him sent to a bobcat den before I could turn him away. Bet he regrets that even if it was pretty funny," A thought occurred to him. "Hey, aren't you doing damage control? Before I could even get my foot in the elevator, you ordered a Code Sloppy on the intercoms."

Rachel lifted up her straw and started mixing the ice cream into her soda which made Patton want to gag. Nothing good came of turning soda into a smoothie. "That was hours ago. Pretty sure everyone's grabbed something to snack on before dinner. Ever see a bee colony swarm in one place? That was what the cafeteria looked like."

He had a feeling that would happen as soon as everyone whined and moaned their way back to Moonbase. Numbuh Spare-Change-for-a-$20 already looked like he was bracing himself for impact by the time Patton thought better and walked away before he ended up squashed into a pancake by hungry operatives.

With a snort, he lifted up his drink, glad he made a beeline (get it?) for The Mocktail Spritz instead. He only wished they served food instead of just soda all the time. "Happy Anniversary to us, Global Supreme Commander."

"Happy Cruddy Anniversary, Supreme Drill Sergeant," she said soberly and clicked her glass with his, "and a Happy Anniversary to you too, Numbuh Jarvis!"

The bartender smiled and politely bowed to her. "Happy Anniversary indeed, Global Supreme Commander, sir."

"Wait, hold the WHAT," Patton gaped and dropped his drink. "What kind of codename is Numbuh Jarvis?!"

Rachel laughed while Numbuh Jarvis absently returned to his cleaning with a mild professional smile.