Warmed Amber Kvass

"We need to talk, sir."

Rachel looked up from her light reading, a dry giant book on everything KND and the rules and regulations that came with it, and closed it with a grave expression. "I know. I got the memo earlier today. Something happened at the Academy?"

With a careful nod, Patton slid into his typical spot in the booth across from his Supreme Leader and kept his back straight and proud. This wasn't a personal meeting; discretion was needed for this. There was no better place to converse quietly than at The Mocktail Spritz. "I want you to approve my form of emergency decommissioning for one of my cadets."

Her eyebrow went up at his cold stare. "Um... why?

"She is unfit for any kind of specialization KND offers," he said cryptically. "Her temperament is questionable and no amount of training can help her. As Supreme Drill Sergeant, I am ordering her kicked from the Academy."

She raised her palms up in a placated gesture. "Aaaand that's entirely within your power, sure, but you're asking for a decommissioning when she's not technically an operative until she graduates. You know I can't issue decommissioning on someone who's not even a formal numbu-"

Patton slammed his palms on the table to cut her off, which caused Rachel to jump at the intensity. "I'm insisting on this! Everything needs to be wiped! Knowledge of 2x4 tech, any training she underwent, all ideas of the KND itself needs to be gone! ASA-NOW, SIR!"

Bemused and utterly concerned at the crazed look in Patton's eyes, she deeply sighed and started flipping pages in her book. "I dunno, but I think it might count as an extraordinary circumstance if you're that serious. I just don't even think I can authorize anything without approval from the KND Academy Court. Did you not file a complaint there first?"

"Come on sir, I don't have time for that bureaucratic nonsense!" he said desperately. "I'm drowning, Rachel! Please!"

He used the R-word. With a frustrated frown, she rubbed her forehead in a moment of deliberation before giving into her friend's plight. "For Zero's sake, Patton! You better not be pulling my leg with something stupid okay? Before I put in the order, I need a report for her expulsion. You know, WHY?!"

Patton didn't seem keen on answering. His gaze shifted elsewhere before they closed in resignation. "It's... complicated."

"She's not an undesirable, is she?" she lowered her voice, treading on forbidden topics. "Is her home life okay? She's not hurting any hamsters, is she?"

Patton shook his head, unable to lie even if it benefited his current mission to expel the cadet. "No."

She sighed in relief. "Well good. So what's the reason, big guy? I've never seen you so freaked out!" Whoever the cadet was, she must be awfully good at getting under people's skin. Patton wasn't exactly a pushover in his line of work.

The bartender arrived uninvited to offer Patton something strong for his nerves, which Rachel vocally was thankful for. She questioned why she was being offered one as well. "It's... warm," she said incredulously, holding the warm cup with just her thumb and forefinger like it was explosive.

"Yes, my Supreme Leader," Numbuh Jarvis bowed, always well-dressed and mannered. "It is Kvass infused with birch sap; warmed in a temperature designed to fuel the belly without it turning flat. A recipe picked up by the sector operatives stationed in the Ukraine."

"Weird," she noted when she tasted it. Patton seemed to just gulp his down without bothering for taste, opting to get the sugar going in his blood stream faster, "but it's sweet and warm. And still fizzy!"

"Rachel..." Patton said glumly.

She smiled apologetically. "Right! Sorry. This isn't exactly the time to relax and savor soda." It was only when the bartender bowed and returned to the bar did she continue. "So... what's the reason? Don't be embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed."

"You're blushing."

He fought the urge to stretch his beanie over his face in retaliation, but then he realized this was a serious matter. He needed to man up. "The cadet's name is Victoria Radley. She hasn't been training long, but her specialization seemed to be heading in the espionage direction. Like you."

"And yet you're hoping to kick her out of the Academy and decommission her. Should I be insulted?" she teased.

Patton ignored her. "The point is she's got the makings of it, but she's putting what she's learned... she's doing it incorrectly, okay?"

"I'm sorry?" Rachel raised an eyebrow and set the cup down. "Can't you just tell her she's doing it wrong? Whatever she's doing?"

He sighed, "I wouldn't be in this position now if it was that simple. For Zero's sake, she could have even snuck on a flight here and is waiting just outside for me!"

She jumped when he suddenly got to his feet and moved erratically toward the only door out of The Mocktail Spritz. He pressed his ear suspiciously against the reinforced wood for any strange sounds outside.

Typical Numbuh 60. Rachel picked up her book again and decided to search for a rule that Supreme Leaders can temporarily confine insane drill sergeants in the Medical Wing. "Patton, you're growing paranoid. No one is aware of this location except for the top brass."

"She could have gotten the information from them!" he countered over his shoulder. "I'm telling you, Rachel, the girl is stalking me! She's obsessed!"

Stalking was a pretty serious offense, so Rachel lowered her book again and turned around. "Okay, okay. Do you have proof that she's stalking you?"

"Dress up that line!" Patton snarled, back ramrod straight while he walked the line of cadets saluting before him. "I will not tolerate laziness here in my Academy! Is that understood?!"

"Sir, yes sir!" Short and powerful. It was a choir of angels to his ears.

Then someone giggled.

"Who did that?!" he shouted. "Who's the little son of a SPLANKER who must be itching to run laps out in negative buhmillion degree weather?! Speak up!"

His line of cadets stiffened. Some were even brave enough to shake their heads for him. Then, a little arm shyly waved near the end of the line.

Girl, boy, pet monkey, Patton was an equal opportunity shouter and stalked over to the waving hand, finding six year old Victoria Radley out of formation and swaying shyly for him. She wiggled her fingers at him. "Hi," she giggled sweetly.

"Get in formation, cadet!" he spat, far too used to this kind of reaction from the younger cadets. "This isn't a Rainbow Monkey tea par-TAY!"

Instead of recoiling or showing fear, she blushed and smiled. "I like you."

"Aww...!" Rachel was trying not to laugh. "That's... that's really cute, Patton. Please don't tell me you made her run laps outside."

His eyebrow began to twitch from the humor she was getting from this. "It's not funny! And I tried to get her to shape up! I even tried to set up personal drills with her!"

"I bet she liked that," she purred and returned to her drink. "All those nights fighting and training one-on-one with her crush. Zero's sake, kids are getting so much more bold these days! I could have never gotten the courage to admit a crush to my drill sergeant."

Patton blinked at her. "I was your drill sergeant."

"Huh. Imagine that." Her back was turned to him, so he couldn't see her teasing smile. Boys were so oblivious sometimes it was almost painful. "Anyways, I don't think those personal drills will do much credit to your defense in Academy Court. She could always say you were leading her on with that."

He sputtered. "L-leading...?! I was trying to help her become an operative! What is it with girls these days... no offense!"

"None taken!" she chirped and returned to her drink. "Can you tell me another instance of her 'stalking' that wouldn't be labeled as adorable?"

"Milk, eggs, coffee... ugh," Patton made a face at the grocery list. "Can they even sell me coffee?!"

He couldn't even change out of his uniform when his mom urged him out the door again with pocket money and the list. "I'm cleaning up for your grandma's visit!" she exclaimed happily. "Go be a good boy and get milk! Skim, not whole! Thank you my handsome little Boy Scout!"

Ugh. But she was right. Dad was still overseas leading his own troops. He was the man of the house for now.

He barely made two steps down the block when in the next corner he jumped back in alarm. A young girl emerged in a pink jumper that burned his eyes. "Cadet Radley?" Patton narrowed his eyes and frowned in disbelief. "What's going on? There trouble at the Arctic Base?"

She shook her head.

"Moonbase?" Even so, Numbuh 86 would have contacted him through communicator, not with some random cadet. Still, he had to ask, but once more she shook her head. "Then what do you want? You don't live anywhere in this district!"

With a hitch of his shoulders, she shyly walked over and tugged at his yellow neckerchief. "I like your uniform."

He was smug when Rachel finally had the appropriate reaction: she gaped at him.

"How come I never got to see you wear a Boy Scout uniform?!"

"I got a cadet stalking me and all you got from the report is my uniform?!" he walked over and stared at her incredulously. "Priorities, Numbuh 362!"

Seemingly insulted, she turned her nose up. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just a bit peeved that you let some random cadet visit you at home when you've hardly invited me anywhere outside of work."

"I think you had too much Kvass," he growled, blushing in mild anger and something else he couldn't put his finger on. "You're acting strange."

"Am I?" she seemed genuinely surprised by that. "Oh Patton, I'm sorry. I think... maybe I'm just a tad jealous. I bet she's cuter than me, isn't she?"

Patton squeaked. "Of course not! She's just a kid!"

"I'm a kid too," she pointed out. "Why should her affections be any different than mine just because of a small age difference?"

"Yeah but, that's... no! NO!" With a loud exhale he paced the polished marble floor. "You're my Supreme Leader. More important to me than any cadet!"

Rachel sheepishly ran her finger around the ring of her cup. "Well you have to say that. I'm your superior." She stiffened when he knelt beside her and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Not just that," he murmured and the atmosphere suddenly changed. "You're my best friend."

"Oh Patton," she purred and flashed him an impish smile. "I'm a selfish girl. I want a teeny-tiny bit more than that."

His eyes widened at that significant look she was giving him. And then, as understanding settled in, he shook a bit with nervousness when he moved one of his hands up to softly cup her cheek. "You know I can't deny you anything," She smiled brightly at him and he inched forward until they were a breath away. "My beloved Supreme Commander."

Before he could actually connect a kiss, he found the tips of her fingers press against his lips, and her eyes were alight with seriousness. "You were right," she whispered. "Looks like she was stalking you."

Emerging from a booth near the corner of the darkened bar, a brokenhearted six-year-old girl with pigtails leveled a stolen BOTTLER at them, tears rushing down her cheeks. "You were supposed to be my boyfriend, drill sergeant sir!"

Eyeing the weapon, Patton moved to protect his Supreme Leader. "I told you once and I'll say it again, Cadet Radley: I'm not INTERESTED for Zero's sake!"

The bartender paused from polishing a random glass when 'cadet' was mentioned. "Excuse me. Are you saying this operative is a cadet?"

Rachel nodded from behind Patton's protective shoulder. "Pretty much. And in The Mocktail Spritz too! The outrage! The scandal! Don't you agree, Numbuh Jarvis?"

"No matter how many times you spin it, Jarvis isn't a number!" Patton exclaimed over his shoulder when Jarvis disappeared into the bar... and then emerged with a giant vat of soda strapped to his back modified with a firefighter hose. He pointed the end at Radley.

"This bar is designated for sector leaders and operatives of Moonbase's chain of command," Jarvis announced almost mechanically. "Please remain in your spot until security arrives to eject you out of airlock. Any sudden moves and you will be drenched in ten kamillion tons of seltzer!" She accidentally slipped on her own untied shoes in fear. "Movement spotted!"

Seeing one of his own rogue cadets getting sprayed by clear soda wasn't exactly a good memory to have, but boy was it interesting to watch the physics behind it.

When everything was said and done, (Radley had not only been stalking Patton but a few other prospective boys in the Academy as well which was enough to earn the decommissioning in Academy Court), Patton caught up with Rachel after a week's worth of testimony and paperwork to find that the booths had to be dried from the seltzer attack so they settled for the bar stools.

"You knew she was in the bar the whole time," he quietly accused her as soon as he sat down. She had a glass of Kvass like last time too only except warmed it was on the rocks.

She set her glass down and smiled evenly. "Fanny may have 'revealed' where you frequently hang out on an unsecured connection. You know how she sometimes forgets about protocol. And Radley somehow ended up in a restricted area that earns her an automatic decommissioning. How lucky was that?"

But Fanny never forgets protocol. "I put the pieces together," he added. "It would have taken you at least days to plan it out before my formal complaint. You've been watching me for awhile now."

"Radley wanted to be a spy, right? Spies are fickle characters at heart, Numbuh 60," she murmured cryptically and started playing with her straw. "It's their job to live dangerously. One of the drawbacks is that it can cause them to be extremely territorial about what little personal lives they're allowed to have."

He swallowed at the implication. "That time when that operative messed with Numbuh 86 to tears months ago, he ended up going MIA."

"Extremely lucky for Fanny then, don't you think?" she smiled to her drink.

Why did he worry about Cadet Radley when he had something else more dangerous to contend with? "Rachel..." he began, something akin to adrenaline pumping in his chest the more he figured things out.

"Spies have very few things that are precious to them," Rachel continued. She locked eyes with him. "Anyone who stands in their way tends to be an enemy. Simple logic, right Patton?"

Zero help him and the web he was trapped in because he felt nothing but pure utter loyalty to the girl before him. "Yeah," his voice cracked.

Numbuh Jarvis, for the first time, interrupted the conversation while polishing a glass. "And quite the acting you demonstrated, Supreme Drill Sergeant, if I may say so myself. For a moment, I even believed it."

"Who said I was acting?"

The sudden blush and incredulous look Rachel gave him was enough of a win for him that day.