Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.

Luke's dream that night was funny. He was on Hoth, and he lived with Dad and Leia. He had to ride Timmy the Tauntaun to school.

Han was on Hoth too, and he drove the Millennium Falcon, but this time it was a spaceship instead of a car.

"You don't come back with my little girl tonight, and I'm going to kill you," Dad told Han right before he and Leia were leaving for a date.

"Don't worry, Mr. Vader, I'll have her back before ten," Han promised Dad as he lifted Leia onto a tauntaun.

What a weird dream, Luke thought to himself as he awoke the next morning. Why on earth would Han and Leia be dating?

Luke took a shower and went downstairs to breakfast.

"Luke, honey, I'm so proud of you," Aunt Beru smiled as she handed him his bowl of Space-O's. "You're really getting things together. But this sugary cereal has got to stop; you need a better breakfast than this."

Luke froze, spoon halfway to his mouth. "Can I still have my Space-O's once a week?" he begged.

"Okay, once a week." Aunt Beru sat down next to him at the table. "Now, your soccer coach called. Do you still want to be on the team this year?"

"Only if Mark is," Luke told her. "He said something about joining the theatre troupe. If that's true, I'm quitting the soccer team and joining the Art Club."

They both heard the sound of a car in the distance, rolling up to the house. Aunt Beru stood up from the kitchen table and went over to the window. "Oh, my God," she said flatly. "Luke, go up to your room."

"Why?" Luke asked through a mouthful of Space-O's.

"It's your father."

Luke shrugged. "I want to see Dad!"

Darth, meanwhile, was having a rough time at his new job. For one thing, he kept calling his new boss "Palpatine," and Palpatine insisted Darth call him "Darth Sidious." Now he knew how his stepbrother Owen felt when Owen kept calling him "Anakin" by mistake.

And then there was that assistant kid, Darth Maul. Vader wanted so much to just go up to him, tell him to wash his face (even though it was tattoo, not makeup), take his piercings out, and take a shower.

"Palpatine, there are too many Darths in this building," Vader complained to his boss. "I can't get along with Maul. He's just too awkward."

"Then kill him," Sidious shrugged.

Vader had no idea whether he was serious or joking. He decided to just say "Very good, sir," and leave.

But Vader needed to see his Lukester. He asked R2D2 to hack into the hospital's patient database to bring up Luke's medical records, but R2D2 was still working on it. Damn privacy laws.

He drove his Cadillac Escalade out to the Lars farm and knocked on the farmhouse door. His sister-in-law answered, clearly looking surprised to see him. "Hi, Darth. What's going on?"

"I want to see the Lukester," Darth told her. "Where's my Lukester?"

Luke was at the kitchen table eating his Space-O's.

"Lukester! Come here and give your old man a hug!"

Darth sat down at the kitchen table, and Luke hugged his father tightly. Darth wished, just for a moment, that he was able to touch Luke through his black gloves, but wrapping his arms around his little boy would have to do. Owen and Beru had obviously been taking good care of him; he was dressed in a robe, eating breakfast, and smelling like the citrus soap that Beru stocked in the guest bathroom. He had color in his cheeks and a smile on his face.

"It's about time I smelled somebody that smells of something other than body odor," Darth complained to his son. "Son, wait until I tell you about this new job I have in Naboo."

"Leia told me," Luke told his father, wide-eyed, and he sat back down in his seat and resumed eating Space-O's. "I didn't want you to leave your old job, Dad. What about Mr. Da? What about yoga?"

"Well, Luke, if you come and live with me in Naboo, we'll find someone new for you to practice yoga with," Darth promised his son. "But I got this new job, I figured I need a fresh start, and it's a job wholesaling parts to robotic companies just like RebelCorp. Now, this administrative assistant in the front office, he's only a few years older than you, son, and he has his entire face tattooed. He looks like Satan."

Luke burst out laughing, almost choking a mouthful of his cereal.

"And he has piercings in his eyebrows, nose, lips, ears-"

"I think he could use a counseling session with Dr. Jinn," Luke commented. "I bet he has a reason for looking that way, Dad. I bet he takes his self-expression very seriously."

"Well, there's no excuse for not bathing. The young man smells like the garbage dump that your grandmother used to take the trash out to when I was a kid. What kind of statement are you trying to make by smelling like that?"

"Maybe he's a troubled young soul who needs help," Beru offered.

"Maybe his girlfriend thought he was ugly and broke up with him, so he's in mourning," Luke suggested.

"Luke!"

"It could be true, Aunt Beru," Luke shrugged. He paused. "Dad, do Leia and I have to move to Naboo with you?"

"Only if you want to, Luke. Are you okay staying here and living with your aunt and uncle?"

"Yeah," Luke said quietly. "I want to stay here with Mark and go to school."

"We're certainly making an improvement," Beru murmured to Darth. "Last week, he didn't want to go."

"Good kiddo," Darth breathed, patting his son on the shoulder.

An hour's visit with Luke wasn't the reason that Darth had come out to the farm, even though it was a relief to know that the Lukester was doing well.

After he checked on his son, Darth made a quick run around his stepbrother's property in his Cadillac Escalade. He wanted to know all of the ways in—

- and out.

Shameless Self Promotion: I'm on Twitter! My handle is [insert the 'at' symbol here]centraliacurrie.

Up Next: Leia Moves In